Snake in the Garden
by Konflickted
Summary: A complementary piece to "Slytherin's Littlest Potter". Scorpius' first hand account of Lily Potter's years as a Slytherin. This can be read alone, but is more fun when read in conjunction with SLP.
1. Three Times

**A/N:** I am going to try to do both, so bear with me. If you've not read '_Slytherin's Littlest Potter_' don't worry. This is a companion piece that I am trying out. I can't guarantee that things will work out with it, but I am willing to try (and willing to update sporadically during NaNo).

**Disc:** I know not what I did create.

* * *

**Three Times**

I remember the first time I met her. It was before my third year and I was in Flourish and Blots, trying to ignore the fact that my grandmother was hovering and my father was being my father. I had wandered down one of the aisles, wondering to myself as I often did why bookstores always seemed so dusty to me. I was annoyed, having spent the better part of the day being fitted for robes and other various clothes that I had no interest in.

I turned down the aisle, pretending to be off looking for a book on Quidditch when she ran straight into me. She looked as surprised as I felt as she fell back, landing on her bum. I looked at her, her blue eyes wide and she had dark auburn hair, pulled into two braided pig tails. I knew her family from her looks; she couldn't deny her lineage.

"A Weasley," I murmured to myself. I wasn't so much asking a question as making an observation. The child looked up at me with an almost indignant look.

"I'm a Potter," she said. We looked at each other, and though I knew I should move and at least offer a hand up, I was kind of frozen. She looked eight, maybe nine years old but I didn't remember my dad mentioning to me that the Potters had a daughter so young. I felt my father come up beside me.

"Scorpius, what's going on here?" My father asked in his cool, calm manner in which he spoke. I looked at him and shook my head.

"Nothing," I said trying to mimic that suave way he spoke. My voice threatened to crack, causing heat to rise in my cheeks. I swallowed the embarrassment and continued. "She just ran into me." I would have said more but the famed Harry Potter, my father's co-worker in the Department of Auror Affairs, appeared behind his daughter. I glanced down at her momentarily.

"Malfoy," Harry had said with coolness. It was no secret that neither really got along, despite all they had been through together. Lily had already begun to climb to her feet.

"Ah, Potter," my father had said with a sneer. How I would have loved to have perfected that sneer quicker. Secretly I stayed up many late nights, trying to copy it in the reflection of my mirror. "I've just met your youngest. She is your youngest, is she not?"

"Lily go join your brothers," Harry had told her. I watched as she turned to protest, but I had to give it to Mr. Potter. As quickly as a single look, Lily clamped her mouth shut and she ran off to join the mass of raven and red haired children staring at us. I sneered at James, the boy I loathed most.

"Scorpius, go join your mother," my father said as he looked at me pointedly. I frowned but headed over towards my grandmother, certain that he meant my grandmother. My mother, Infamy Malfoy, had died two years prior, but now was not the time to remind him. He seemed irritated and annoyed. Gram and I looked at the scene curiously as Dad and Mr. Potter exchanged what looked like heated words. I glanced over at the group of Gryffindors and smirked. The small one, Lily, was standing on her tiptoes, trying to see. She glanced over at me, her eyes wide with curiosity.

My father later explained that neither of them was very happy with being paired up as training partners for the D.A.A., their history stretched too far back between them to make it easy. My grandmother had listened politely, and then gave her two cents. She spoke animatedly of forgiveness and growing up. She sat there in the drawing room, sipping tea.

"Draco," my grandmother said kindly. "There is such a thing as needing to finally come to a point where you get over your history and move on."

"Whether he saved me or not, Mum, do you know how hard it is to forget that Harry and I were enemies?"My dad said to her. Gram rolled her eyes and smiled.

"You have to think about the example you are setting for your son," Gram said. "How would you like it if Scorpius had an enemy such as you had in Harry."

"Gram, I do," I protested with an unjustified anger. "James Potter and I are just like that."

"Scorpius, honestly," Gram said. "What does all that hate really accomplish?"

"Malfoys do not get along with Potters," I said gritting my teeth. "We're just not genetically wired to."

"Nothing wrong with a bit of aggression, Narcissa," my grandfather said coolly. I knew that my grandmother didn't like him, not one bit. The man walked slowly into the drawing room, his wand sheathed cane clicking noisily. "You'll be happy to know, Scorpius, that Darla Goyle received her letter. Assuming she is sorted into Slytherin, the plans are still on."

"I really don't think I like the idea of Scorpius being forced to marry," Gram said boldly. I looked at her in awe. No one ever disagreed with my grandfather. I personally couldn't care less about Darla Goyle or getting betrothed to her. Technically, it wouldn't be confirmed until Darla's grandfather and my grandfather hammered out the details of the union, of which couldn't be started until the girl was sorted in Slytherin.

"Darla Goyle is the granddaughter of one of my closest comrades," my grandfather said indignantly. I quickly excused myself from what would be a verbal war between my grandmother and my grandfather.

I was alone in my room, watching as the house elves finished pressing and packing my school trunks. I looked up as my mother came through the doorway, a smile on her face. She sat down on the edge of my bed beside me and touched my face gently. I knew she loved me more than life itself, and I knew that she wanted me to marry for love. Still, at thirteen, I wasn't too worried about the Darla situation. I was good friends with Darla's older sister, Elena, and was thankful that it wasn't her that I would become betrothed to. That would have been weird.

"Scorpius, whatever you decide to do, do it for love," my grandmother told me quietly. "The worst thing is being forced to marry someone you have no feelings for."

"I don't plan on getting married for a really long time, Gram," I replied and she laughed nodding.

"Still, when the right girl comes along, you'll know. You might fight it, but soul mates can't be apart for long," my grandmother told me. I rolled my eyes at such girly prospects. Girls thought about things like marriage and such. All I cared about was playing Quidditch and getting the house cup. There would be plenty of time for me to turn into some sappy little git when I got older.

Gram and Dad took me to King's Crossing. My father patted me firmly on the shoulder like he always did. He hadn't hugged anyone, including me, since my mother. I didn't take it personally. Gram hugged me doubly hard to make up for it. I received her kiss upon my forehead and headed onto the train. I wandered a bit, watching curiously the mothers and fathers sending their children off with bone crushing hugs and sloppy kisses, knowing I'd never get that kind of good bye nor would I want to.

I turned a corner to see a familiar looking auburn haired girl struggling with her trunk. For a moment, I watched as she tried valiantly to get her luggage in place. She grumbled, tugging as the stubborn thing refused to move. I sighed, knowing that it wasn't nice to watch another person struggle like that. In one quick motion, I grabbed her trunk and got it into place. She turned those wide pools of blue on me and opened her mouth to say something when James elbowed me roughly as he pushed past.

"Potters don't need the help of Malfoys," James chastised the girl coldly and I honestly felt bad for her as she was drug away by her hand. I watched her curiously turn and look at me before she disappeared into the next car. Shrugging, I headed back towards the car where I had stored my belongings. Elena looked up as I slipped into her car.

"How was your summer?" Elena asked as the train roared to life and began taking off down the tracks.

"Mundane," I sighed as I glanced out the window. I shook my head. I listened for a bit to the idle chatter before I decided to go for a walk. My best mate, Damon West, looked up but said nothing as I left. Elena, I knew, would follow. She would really, really want to talk to me about her little sister, Darla. I stepped out of the compartment to see the same little auburn haired girl and I shook my head. The poor thing really, really needed to get better brothers.

"You're in the wrong car," I said as I stood there, looking at her. She turned, her eyes wide again and I frowned slightly. That wide-eyed innocence crap always bothered me, and it would figure that the baby sister of the most irritating guy I knew would be dripping and oozing such innocence.

"I didn't realize that they were assigned, aside from the prefect's car," she said as she looked up at me. She didn't hold the same fear that usually came from first year students addressing older students like myself. Her answer surprised me. I half expected her to mumble an apology and to scurry back to the safety of her brother's watch.

"Officially, no," I said as I slid the door open in encouragement for her to go back the way she had come. "But unofficially, yes. This would be the Slytherin car. You are Gryffindor, obviously. Scamper back to your fellow lion heads." I laughed internally at the slight. She surprised me by not complying.

"I think not," the tiny girl said bravely as she attempted to continue down the corridor. Elena had already stepped out into the corridor to come looking for me. She crossed her arms and looked at the small Potter girl standing there, blocking her path.

"I think so, sweetheart," I said coolly. My patience was wearing. "See, as Elena Goyle would be glad to explain to you, we Slytherins take pride in keeping the trash out."

"Then why are you here?" she retorted without thought. I felt the heat of anger and almost-embarrassment warm my face. I hadn't expected that from her, not at all. She looked at me defiantly. I took a deep breath, calming my sometimes short temper. I couldn't afford to lose my cool with a first year.

"Your comebacks are quicker than your brothers," I said with intense control. "Let's hope your brains remain sharper and you remove yourself from Slytherin territory."

The girl opened her mouth to reply but James had arrived, frowning, and he drug her away by the arm. It was the first time I had ever been thankful to see my enemy standing there. He dragged her out of the compartment area wordlessly, disappearing without so much as a word. I was all riled up, the girl had gotten under my skin. She was worse than James Potter, and she didn't know when it was time to back down. It also felt a little unnerving that she was everywhere I turned. Elena looked at me but said nothing. I sighed, thankful that in a few short hours the first years would be sorted and that Lily Potter would be off to start her seven years at Hogwarts as a Gryffindor.


	2. Precursory

**A/N:** This process is lengthy, so you know… I'm having to reread the story as I type this, trying to make it an all-new story while following along with the old story (if that makes any sense). Maybe it doesn't. Alas, I'm having fun for the most part, and isn't that what it's all about (or is that the hokie-pokie, I never could tell).

**Disc.:** Creation is a start. Manipulation is divine.

* * *

**Precursory **

I very nearly laughed at James and his younger brother's outburst, and I probably would have if I hadn't been shocked to silence myself. I had watched at that goofy Professor Longbottom placed that decrepit old hat upon that minuscule child's head. She was small, even by first year standards. I had watched her half curiously, though I couldn't even explain to myself why. She sat there on the stool and I watched, wondering what great Gryffindor traits the hat was picking out of her head.

"Slytherin!" the hat had practically cheered and I froze. I couldn't begin to explain it. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights, to be honest. Her damn blue eyes were wide again, and for a moment I swore I saw a hint of fear and dread. Headmistress McGonagall had snapped at the Potter boys and then directed Lily to take a seat. I watched her curiously as she kept her eyes trained to the floor. Her face was beet red and she sat down quickly a few seats down from me.

I half listened to Celeste, a girl in my year, give Lily the third-degree about her blood lineage. I stepped in, telling Celeste to ease up on Potter. A few people looked at me incredulously, but I had perfected the _'I don't care what you think'_ look. It was plastered on my face, even as my eyes met Lily's. I wasn't even sure why I defended her to Celeste. Potter was nothing more to me than just another lowly first year, yet there was something. I could tell, though I couldn't put my finger on it.

Celeste tried to argue her point to me, but I ignored her. I knew Celeste well enough that she hated to be ignored. Sometimes, in previous years, I would ignore her just to irritate her. This was not one of those times. I really just didn't want to hear what Celeste had to say on the subject, especially since she had an opinion on everything.

The common room was my home away from home, and yet that night I couldn't sleep. I sat like I had sat many nights before, hidden in the shadows while I pondered my thoughts. My roommates knew well enough to leave me alone, lest I sic my evil kitty, Ash, on them. Most nights, Ash would join me to unravel the thoughts that swirled like smoke in my head, but with it being her first night back at Hogwarts she was off catching the mice you'd never catch dead in Malfoy Manor.

I glanced up as I saw her creeping closer to the dying fire, a book clutched in her arms. She looked even smaller now, when the eyes of the whole school and all of Slytherin were not on her. Her tiny shoulders hunched over as she tried to curl into a ball, reading by the weak firelight. In this light, her hair looked more red than auburn, the glowing embers adding the look of fire to her hair. I watched her a while as she struggled to stay awake while she read. Curiously, like a fading candle, she went from awake to asleep. I yawned, knowing it was probably time for me to head off to bed myself. I stood and walked towards the third year dormitory, hesitating as I looked back at her.

Something in me squeezed and I turned, unfamiliar with the feeling. I headed towards Lily, stopping just a few feet from her. I pulled one of the blankets off the back of the couch and draped it over her. I justified that it wouldn't look good on the house if Lily Potter froze to death her first night as a Slytherin. Without a second thought, I turned and headed to bed.

The next morning, Damon and I headed out of our dormitory just in time to see Lily walk through the ghost of the Bloody Baron. I laughed, not so much at her walking through him but at the expression on her face and the reaction of the short little boy who walked beside her. I fell into step behind them, listening to their childish drivel.

"Is it always going to be this cold down here?" Lily asked the boy.

"You'll get used to it," I said suddenly. I hadn't intended on letting on that I was right behind them, but my knee-jerk answer to her question had given me away. I pushed past them, giving Lily what I hoped was an intimidating look. She didn't look fazed and it was unnerving. I had never encountered a girl, especially a first year, that didn't find me even slightly intimidating.

I joined Celeste, Damon, and Elena at the table, eager to start breakfast. Damon and I claimed all of the bacon, claiming what we always claimed. We needed it to bulk up for Quidditch tryouts. Elena laughed but Celeste rolled her eyes. She made a disgusted sound and I looked up at her curiously.

"God, our first years are disgusting eaters," Celeste said. I glanced down, thinking they didn't eat any worse than we did. "Someone should tell them to chew with their mouths closed."

"Alright," I said quietly seeing that Celeste was still annoyed at me for the previous night's slight. "But they're probably just excited." Celeste gave me what was supposed to be a dirty look, but Professor Perkins had just arrived and had drawn my attention from her.  
My own classes were nothing special. I was a good student without trying, but because I wanted to be an Auror like my father, I tried hard. Actually, I probably tried harder than I needed to. I didn't want to just be like my father, I wanted to be him. He was suave, cool. He never got embarrassed and he always knew what to do. I just faked it a lot and acted like I knew what I was talking about. Most people didn't question me. Most times, though, I was just as uncertain as anyone else.

I was sitting in potions when Damon slid into the seat next to me, late but with a pass in his hand. Not that he needed it. Professor Perkins favored those of us in his house. He looked hassled and I shot him a questioning glance as Professor Perkins started explaining some vitally important detail. Damon kept shooting me these looks and finally, when the professor was clear on the other side of the dungeon classroom, berating James Potter for a pathetic attempt at the potion we were supposed to be working on, I looked at him. He was practically bouncing up and down in his seat.

"What?" I hissed.

"Did you hear what Potter's sister did?" Damon asked. I shook my head.

"I don't keep up with Potter's sister," I had replied lethargically though I had to admit I was curious. I told myself that it had to do with Damon being in a tizzy.

"She went and got herself two detentions, back to back," Damon said almost gleefully. "Looks like Potter's sister isn't as innocent as everyone thought."

"That's not good," I mumbled. "That's not exactly the kind of repertoire we want associated with Slytherin."

"You should talk to her," Celeste decided as she turned towards him, ignoring her self-stirring cauldron. "Since you seem so intent on defending her last night, you should be the one who has to keep her in check."

"Super," I said sarcastically. The last thing I wanted to do was talk to a first year about her behavior, especially Lily Potter. She reminded me of a much worse version of James. "You're coming with me."

"Fine," Celeste said rolling her eyes, and I was certain that I heard her mumble something about me being a chicken shit for needing back up when it came to a first year. Like usual, I ignored her and it irritated the hell out of her.

Celeste and I saw Lily and her two midget minions heading into the Great Hall. Celeste elbowed me and I called to get her attention. She turned and looked, followed by her bobble headed friends. Celeste scared the two off towards into the Great Hall. I stood aside and let Celeste start tearing into Lily, admiring Lily for not shying away from Celeste's verbal assault. Celeste caught my eye and nodded towards Lily, indicating it was my turn.

"You have already managed to score yourself two detentions and lost our house points," I reminded her in what I hoped came out as an authoritative voice, my arms crossed against my chest. "This is the first official day of the new school year and you aren't behaving very Slytherin." She looked at me like I was the crazy one.

"What are you talking about?" Lily said crossly. "I hit a Gryffindor twice in the back of the head with a tuber root." Celeste almost lost it right there and instead of bursting into laughter, something I could feel the urge to do myself, she headed straight through the doors. I raised an eyebrow at her, amused but knowing that I couldn't admit it. I wouldn't dare try to picture a tuber root bouncing off of some lowly Gryffindor first year's head. Instead, I asked her why she did it.

And so began the first of many conversations that she and I would have. I explained to her that we, as Slytherins, did not go around acting up in class, even towards Gryffindors. Not when we could do it outside of class and never get caught. I watched her as I talked; surprised that she seemed to actually listen. Actually, and not to be full of myself, she seemed to hang on to my every word as if it was law.

"Look, I understand what it's like to be stuck in someone's shadow. We're all fighting to carve out our own place in the world," I said quietly as I looked at her little face fixated on me. "You have been given a grand opportunity here, to escape the house of your ancestors. It is an opportunity that most of us would kill to have the opportunity." I hesitated, never expecting to have shared so much of myself in one conversation. I could practically see her processing and storing what I had said. It was unnerving the way she watched me with her bright, blue eyes.

"Ok," Lily said.

"Now, go in there and behave," I smirked as I tried to cover the fact that I had shared so much more than I intended. "Just don't get caught misbehaving. We Slytherins never get caught."

We were about to head into the Great Hall when her older brother arrived, causing trouble.

Now normally I never back down from a fight, but I barely even got a word in edgewise and James and I were poised to fight. It was surreal. James and I had hated each other from our first day, our first year when upon finding out who our fathers were, wordless declared a life-long enemy in each other. So, we were ready to fight, and Lily slipped between us, and I was certain that she was going to defend her brother to me. Imagine my surprise when she turned on her older brother, claiming official Slytherin business. She put her hands on her hips and stared him down, telling James to mind his own business. I had to admire her spunkiness. I knew that the Potter and Weasley families were a tight knit group of people, so to have her turn her back on all that, even if rightly so, had me staring at her with admiration.

"You know, he's only looking out for you," I said grinning at her after he had stalked away angrily. I had no idea what I thought I was doing, actually defending James to her like that. I should have encouraged it, the animosity between siblings cast in separate houses, but something in me defended James. I nearly hated do it, to be honest. She looked at me, the look strange. She had a slight grin on her face, the tension evident.

"I don't need a big brother," she replied in a snappy tone. I had to smirk at her tone. We departed and I watched her stalk over to her miniature minions, barely getting in three bites before she was off again. Celeste looked at me and I shrugged, grabbing a few bites to eat before I headed off to my next class.

That evening, dinner was amusing to say the least. I was sitting there between Elena and Damon, eating, while Celeste and a few others were making rude comments about the way that the first year students were behaving. I glanced over at them, and while they were a lot louder than the rest of our table, they were far from acting like the rest of the school's first year students. I glanced over at Lily and her minions and nearly laughed. The boy one, Shale, looked a little bit like a chipmunk, his cheeks puffy with over stuffing and he was talking. The girl one, Kate, was eating just a much. My eyes fell on Lily and she looked at me, and I swear, I saw her blush.

I couldn't figure out for the life of me why that mattered, that she blushed when she looked at me. I ignored our prefect's words to them, knowing what they'd be, instead I looked at her and watched. I was curious about the heat in her cheeks, and the way she quickly covered up a laugh with a sip. She was unlike any Potter I had ever known.


	3. My Trips

**A/N:** Is anyone following this? Just curious.

**Disc.:** Creation is a start. Manipulation is divine.

* * *

**My Trips**

It was curious, at least to me, the way that of all the first years, even my betrothed, I watched Lily stand there with her minions, in straight lines. Our unofficial Slytherin seventh year leader paced between the lines of 'us', the mature Slytherins, and 'them', the first year students. She had a cold sneer on her face, a disapproving look upon what might have been a pretty face if it didn't have such a nasty look plastered on it. Lily didn't look down at the ground or fearfully around. I nearly laughed at the look she gave her boy minion, a slightly raised eyebrow and a smirk lingering on her face.

I wasn't listening to the seventh year, but instead watched Lily bite back a smile, her teeth seizing her traitorous bottom lip. Shale snickered; his attempt to cover it up with a sneeze which caused Lily and Kate to cough to hide their laughter. I felt the corners of my mouth tug upwards. I fought it and won, but for a moment, I nearly laughed along with her. Expectantly, the seventh year pulled the three of them free of the ranks of the other first years and I tensed. I don't know why, but I felt tense with Lily stepping away from the safety of the pack of first year Slytherins, standing between Johann Bucket and the first year students. Even with Shale and Lily flanking her, I was anxious.

I could begin to describe the unusual swirl of desires that turned my stomach in circles. It was almost a protective, feral feel. I felt ready to pounce between them, a father lion to defend his cubs. I frowned. Johann was pacing, berating, and I wanted nothing more than to put myself between Lily and her. I looked at Lily, expecting to see her recoiling from Johann's verbal assault. I ignored Johann's words, but I watched Lily.

"Yes, ma'am," Lily said reluctantly in unison with her minions. Her eyes flickered to me for a second, though she may just have been breaking eye contact with the others in our refined group. Johann stepped closer to Lily, increasing my urge to pull Johann back away from her. Lily looked at the other girl, her face blank.

"You, Potter, have to more Slytherin than the rest of us, because we all know we belong here," the seventh year sneered at Lily. I struggled to move forward and place myself between the two, and reveled in the curiosity of such. I had never felt so driven to protect another person, ever. "You are going have to work harder, be a better Slytherin. You already have two detentions against you, which is shameful, especially this early in the school year. That is behavior unfitting of a Slytherin. We never get caught when we are performing the eradication and torment of lesser beings."

I cleared my throat, interrupting Johann before she could get her second wind. She jerked her head in my direction and I got the full on glare that she had been using against Lily. I felt something more rearing its head deep within, something I couldn't explain. I reminded her that the first years couldn't afford to be late to their Astronomy lesson. The change in her face was like night and day, and the tension in me eased some. Dismissed, the first year students gathered their bags and headed out of the common room. I watched Lily, flanked by her minions. Lily glanced back at me and smiled. It felt as if someone punched me in the chest.

I glanced at her, curiously, during breakfast the next morning. She, like the other first year students, looked exhausted. I laughed to myself as her head bobbed a few times, as if she nodded off for a moment there between bites of her breakfast. I ignored the post as it arrived, watching her. An owl soared in, dropping a howler in front of her. I blinked, wondering why she was still sitting there, not bothering to open it. It trembled and before I knew what I was doing, my hand was around her wrist and I was dragging her out of the Great Hall. She looked at me indignantly as she jerked free of my grasp.

"What do you…" she said as the thing trembled in her hand. It burst into life before her, the sound of what I assume was her mother's voice shrilly echoing over the foyer. She looked at it in horror, her eyes transfixed. The words were of no consequence to me. It was far more amusing for me to watch her reaction, the way the heat warmed her cheeks into an intense crimson. Lily tried to hide her face behind her hands, and still, her tiny hands trembled at her mother's words. There was something intriguing the way her face and hair clashed.

I didn't mean to look at her that way, to witness what was probably her worst experience ever, with such a smug look on my face, but it was funny to me, the way she looked so sweet and innocent but had this trouble-making side to her that seemed to have gotten her into some serious trouble. Her eyes were wide, innocence dripping in those sapphire pools. She groaned, seriously, and turned away from me. I laughed, and I knew immediately that it was probably not the best reaction.

"We all get them eventually," I tried to reassure her, reminding her that her brothers and cousins had more than their fair share. I wondered how she could not know what a howler was or what it did, but I assumed that up until she joined us, until she started Hogwarts, she probably wasn't bad enough to warrant one, nor had been around her parents when they sent them.

Lily slumped down on a nearby bench, embarrassed that everyone had heard. She voiced it, her shaking with emotion. I immediately felt worse for her, tempted to put my arm around her shoulders and to assure her that it would be ok. Instead, I sat down next to her. She was just as mortified that I had stood witness to her verbal lashing from her mother. She had her face in her hands

"It's all right," I said reassuringly. "We're housemates. Had you been in any other house, I'd have laughed at you right along with the rest of them." She looked at me in horror from between her fingers.

"They're laughing at me?" Lily cried as she jerked her hand away from her face. I wanted to laugh, her face was a mix between horror and morose.

"Nah, I was only messing with you," I teased lightly. "We Slytherins have to stick together."

She looked up at me again with those infuriating wide eyes and I wondered what she was thinking. We continued to talk for a moment, my reassuring her that her mother would get over it and that she, Lily, should act more like herself. I knew Lily was a smart girl, so going along with something just because someone told her to, even my Darla, was foolish. She hung on my every word, not an uncommon trait that girls did, but for some reason, at least to me, it seemed to be more impressive that Lily would hang on to my words. I grinned at her, breaking the moment that we stared at each other, and stood.

"Now get up, straighten your spine, and walk back to your breakfast as if nothing even happened," I commanded almost playfully. "Part of being an excellent Slytherin is looking as if nothing affects you."

"And does it?" Lily asked as she rose to her feet. Her voice trembled slightly, and her eyes seemed darker. I looked at her, curiously.

"Naturally," I replied grinning. I lowered my voice to a whisper so that only she could hear me, my mouth not far from her ear. "We can't let them know it though, now can we?"

"No, I guess not," Lily said. I raised an eye brow at her, hoping to make her a little more assertive with just my uncanny ability to make people tremble in my presence, and she added a little more forcefully. "Of course not."

I followed Lily back into the Great Hall, the words lingering on my tongue. I had constraint, terrific resolve; otherwise I would have said the words that had bubbled forth unexpectedly out of nowhere- _That's my girl_. I pondered that as I watched Lily rejoin her minions, no one making notice o the change in atmosphere or the events that had transpired. I mulled those three words over in my head. Why, oh why would that have pushed to the forefront of my mind? Lily was a Potter, and while she was a Slytherin, as well, she wasn't mine to cheer for.

It confused me.

* * *

On that Friday night, the best night of the week, and I was holed up in the common room with Elena, Damon, and Celeste. I was watching Celeste and Damon battle in a match to the Wizarding Chess death. Celeste was winning at the moment, but I knew Damon had a few sly moves coming up. He always did this, got his opponent in state of false comfort before he crushed them mercilessly. It was why I loved and loathed play with him. He was worth the challenge, but the wins against him were few and far between. I watched them, but I wasn't really paying attention to my group.

I was listening to Lily and her minions. She sounded distressed, unable to remember where her detention was supposed to be. She and Shale were going back and forth as to where they were supposed to go for it; apparently Shale and Kate had gotten detention as well, though I couldn't recall whether I ever knew why. I'm sure that I had heard, but for whatever reason, it sieved out of my mind and the only things I recalled were Lily's infractions.

"Mr. Filch," I heard myself say. Everyone around us kind of froze and looked at me. I hadn't intended on saying anything, or to let on that I was listening in on their personal conversation. Internally, I was kicking myself.

"What?" Lily asked hesitantly. I turned and looked at her, her eyes curiously meeting mine.

"Mr. Filch usually doles out the detentions," I said in what I hoped came off as bored and indifferent. I checked my watch meaningfully. "You three might want to get a move on it and try not to lose anymore house points. It'd be nice to not just hand the House Cup to Gryffindor."

The three looked at each other and jumped up, leaving the common room swiftly. I turned my attention back to the game before me but Damon's eyes were suspiciously curious as they looked at me. I raised an eyebrow at him but said nothing. Instead, we went on to watch Damon wipe the wizarding chess board with Celeste, win after win.

Our little group hung out in the common room, people keeping their distance from us. From the outside, I was certain it was because even as third years we were so intimidating that no one wanted anything to do with us. I ignored the purring motor boat that was curled up in my lap. A few people edged away as soon as they saw my cat, Ash. She didn't mean to be so temperamental.

I glanced up and looked as Lily entered quickly with Kate, dirty, and I smirked. She was in and out in a moment, so close to curfew. I felt worry bubble up irrationally as the time ticked closer, knowing that if she got in trouble one more time, she ran the very real risk that her mom would bring her home. The idea that she might leave worried me more than it should have. Lily worried me more than she should have.

I very nearly sighed aloud in relief as she and Kate slipped back into the common room just in the nick of time, passing the prefects as they headed out. She was shivering, her hair damp, and she sat down with a few other first years. I tried to ignore them as they talked, but her voice was one that seemed to have my ears seeking it out, even as quiet as it was.

"Yeah, I'm in," Lily said. The first years were going to try to get a pickup game of Quidditch while the rest of us were away at Hogsmead.

"You any good?" Zane asked. For a moment, I tensed, not liking his challenging tone. I glanced over at Lily to find her smirking at him.

"I guess we'll see tomorrow, now won't we," Lily said. I grinned to myself at her spunky response, turning away from the group when she glanced in my direction. "We're going to play five on five?"

"Yeah, no seekers and only two chasers," Shale explained.

"Sounds decent," Lily said.

"You goin' to be able to play, even with your detention?" Kate asked. I had wondered the same thing, knowing that Lily had two detentions to satisfy.

"Yeah, no problem," Lily said. "I have detention tomorrow night, removing the horns from stupid roses."

"You mean removing the thorns, right?" Zane asked. I looked over at them again, just slightly. Lily grinned and shook her head.

"No, I mean horns. These stupid roses have HORNS," Lily said holding up her arms. "And the darn thing bit me too." Her arms were crisscrossed with thin, blood pricked scratches. A set of what must have been teeth marks were on her arm, the blood cleaned away from her shower.

"That'll teach you to act up in class," Darla sneered. I felt my fist clench for a moment and it surprised me. Darla was supposed to be my future wife, and the idea that I was angry at her for talking to Lily that way confused me. Lily laughed, shattering my anger in a moment.

"You were the one who got me to throw the tuber root," Lily said. The table burst out in loud laughter. I nearly chuckled along with them, but was also annoyed at Darla for making my Lily do it. I froze in perplexing confusion. Lily wasn't _my _Lily. Lily wasn't my _anything_.

"That was pretty funny," Darla admitted as she rubbed her eyes. "The way that last one bounced."

I was thankful for the break from the first years when Professor Perkins sent them to bed. I didn't like the way I was feeling towards Lily. She wasn't supposed to have any effect on me, not that I would ever admit it. Even Darla didn't make me feel that way. It was much more than amusement, though I couldn't exactly say what it was. I didn't know. I watched as Lily got up and headed to bed with her fellow dorm mates, and I was glad to be done with all the confusion for another night. Ash and I headed to bed, the cat curling up under my neck and purring crazily as I fell asleep.

Breakfast that next morning was nearly contagious. Well, the excitement, actually. I was excited about getting to go down to Hogsmead for the first time, though I knew my time would be cut short there because we had Quidditch practice later. Still, Damon and I were planning on hitting Honeydukes and Zonko's, grabbing butter beer at The Three Broomsticks, and maybe try to visit the Shrieking Shack.

Damon and I practically ran down the lane towards Hogsmead, planning on squeezing as much out of our first visit as we could. We completely left the girls in our dust, not caring because they could afford to take their merry time walking to town and back. We, on the other hand, had to be back in time for practice. Damon and I were both Chasers, and damn good ones at that. I think we probably could have spent all day in Honeydukes, the rows of sweets so tempting. We didn't linger long; instead we made it to each of our places that we intended before we had to return for practice.

We were hyped up on chocolate frogs and butter beer as we changed into our practice robes, eager to hit the skies on a sugar induced high. I stood beside Damon and our seeker, Nice, as we joined our team out on the pitch, watching the end part of the Slytherin first year's modified game. I couldn't help but admire the way Lily seemed so damn quick on the broom. As tiny as she was, I had to assume she had very little wind resistance. She bobbed and weaved, more skilled on the broom than a good many other first years. Her hair, unrestrained, flew behind her like a banner of auburn. She was smiling, dodging the bludgers as the game was called a girls' win.

Lily's female minion, Kate, nearly fell of her broom again for what seemed like the hundredth time, and I laughed as she finally landed, allowing Shale and another boy, whose name escaped me at the moment, try to wrangle the bludgers back in the chest. Lily glanced over at me, grinning, as she stood on the ground, a good distance away. She glanced up in time to move, avoiding Kate from crashing into her. Kate shifted, too, and crashed into the girls anyways, dragging them all to the ground.

It all happened so fast that for a moment, I wasn't sure what had happened. Someone, lots of different ones, shouted to look out. I looked up to see a bludger heading straight towards the group of girls struggling to regain their footing. In one moment, Kate had the beater bat, in the next it was in Lily's hand. The sound of the bludger hitting the bat made a sickening crack, and the bludger rushed at us. I saw it rushing towards us, but it came too quick for me to react. It crashed into Nice and me at the same time, sending us both careening to the ground. From standing to prone, my breath was knocked clear out of my lungs and a sickening crunch had me go pale.

I nearly passed out. I struggled to sit back up, struggled to catch my breath. I looked to Lily, the person who had sent the bludger our way. Her eyes were filled with horror, wide with fright. She dropped the bat immediately and started to make her way over towards us. I struggled to breath, looking over at our seeker, the poor guy out cold on the grass. I wanted to tell her that I was ok, but she already dropped her head in shame. The glares from the rest of the team and others had her defeated and before anything else could be said, Nice and I were hauled off to the hospital wing.

Nice and I were bandaged up, him coming to not much after we arrived, but Madame Pomphrey insisted that we remain under her care while we healed that evening. In and out, Slytherins came to check on us. The first years tried to visit, but I heard Celeste's voice over the dull roar of the other Slytherins talking.

"Haven't you done enough?" Celeste accused loudly. "You single handedly practically handed Gryffindor the house cup, Potter."

"I'm sorry!" Lily said genuinely. "It was coming right at us."

"Better it hit you then to take out two of our players," Celeste said bitingly. I frowned, not sharing the same belief. The idea that Lily could have been in my place, hurt, because of a bludger made me upset in a way that I still didn't understand myself. I found myself annoyed at Celeste's thoughts that it should have been Lily instead of me.

What did Celeste know? I was much stronger than Lily, as was Nice. If anyone had to be hit full on by a bludger, it was better to be us than her. The idea that it could have been Lily made me shiver in my bed. She was far too fragile to have been the one to receive the blow, and I hate Celeste there for a moment, to even suggest it. Nice and I would be healed by our next match. How long would it take a thing as small as Lily to heal? She'd probably have shattered.

"What are you thinking about?" Elena asked as she looked at me. I looked at her in surprise.

"What makes you think that I am thinking about anything?" I replied coolly, trying not to breathe too deeply. It burned, the broken ribs, and the healing and knitting of bones itched.

"You're frowning," Elena said. I forced a smile.

"I'm not thinking of anything of consequence," I assured her and she looked at me once more, but nodded. She'd not push it. Like Damon, she'd always leave me to my thoughts if I didn't feel like sharing them.

Nighttime sent everyone else to bed, and I was allowed to think freely without witnesses to the facial expressions that I apparently had when I thought. I closed my eyes, a thing I usually do, to try and nod off. I'd close my eyes and think, letting the images lull me to sleep. I heard the door open to the hospital wing but I ignored it, trying my hardest to fall asleep. I frowned at the sound of Madame Pomphrey and the whispering visitor. It was late, well enough for me, and I was trying to go to sleep.

I felt the bed shift ever so slightly by my hand, as if someone was leaning forward on it. I opened my eyes, surprised to see Lily standing there by me. She was staring at me, well my bandaged chest actually, her expression concerned and frightened. She bit her lip, her eyebrows knitted together in contemplation. She kept leaning closer and closer, and I could feel my heart being to race unexpectedly.

"You shouldn't stare," I whispered. Lily jumped, nearly knocking aside the small table. Her face turned bright red and I couldn't help but smile at her obvious discomfort.

"I was only checking to see if you were breathing," Lily said quickly. I smirked at her and nodded; though I wondered why she was so nervous if that was all she was doing. I watched her bite her lip again, and I wondered what was going through her head.

"Well, as you can see, you failed at killing Bradshaw or myself off," I teased. I tried to sit up more but the pain was still so sharp and I cringed.

"I honestly wasn't trying to," Lily said emphatically. She looked like she was going to cry and I immediately felt bad.

"I was just teasing you, Potter," I said as I place my hand against my bandaged ribs. "Hell of a hit, though, if I do say so myself; I think that you broke me."

"I'm so sorry," Lily said thickly and I prayed that she wouldn't burst into tears. I can't stand it when girls cry. It makes me feel helpless because I never know what to do for them. I tried to shrug but it caused a sharp pain to shoot through my ribs again. "Has he come to yet?"

"Yeah. He'll be fine in a couple of days," I said as I patted the bed. I had no clue what I was doing, but still I encouraged her to take a seat. She hesitated before she took a seat on the edge, the furthest from me. "Just in time for the game against Gryffindor, he'll be back to his old, prick self. The thing you have to remember, Potter, we are invincible. Slytherins never let anything keep them down. Bradshaw's a seventh year. He's practically immortal."

"Yeah," Bradshaw moaned from his side of the dividing curtain. Lily blushed a deep red and I wondered silently what had her so embarrassed. Still, I grinned, seeing the youngest Potter looking quite uncomfortable there with us. I wondered if Nice was shirtless, like I was, and felt the unfamiliar stab of jealousy. The idea of her looking at him, biting her lip in distress and concern, over him, was unnerving. I never got jealous and I didn't like the fact that I cared.

"Miss Potter! I daresay you are trouble indeed, perhaps worse than your brothers combined! Coming in here and waking patients that you sent here injured in the first place," Madame Pomphrey said shrilly. Lily jumped up off the edge of the bed, her face on fire with embarrassment. "Perhaps a week of detention will finally get through to you."

"Madame Pomphrey, please," Lily begged, her hands clasped in front of her. Internally, I swore and panicked. Lily was like the freaking magnet for detention, and again I worried that her mother would come and snatch her from me, I mean Hogwarts. I shook my head quickly, clearing the thoughts. Now was not the time to think like that.

"I called her over," I protested quickly. The two looked at me in utter disbelief.

"What?" Lily and Madame Pomphrey both said in unison.

"I saw her sitting there and I asked her to please come over," I lied quickly as I struggled to sit up. The pain was unbearable, and I gasped despite myself. Lily looked at me with such concern that it nearly broke me in two. Her concern hurt more than the pain. Madame Pomphrey rushed to my side, trying to help me get comfortable.

"Heavens why?" Madame Pomphrey asked me. I hesitated for a second, racking my brains for a logical reason. Ash popped into my head, and I nearly laughed.

"I needed her to go feed my cat, Ash. I knew I'd not be able to do it, and since Potter is a housemate, she could make sure Ash got fed," I said quickly. Madame Pomphrey looked to Lily for confirmation, and I prayed that Lily was smart enough to catch on and keep up the rouse. Lily was a right brilliant actress, her face was void of any tells as she nodded in confirmation. Silently I cheered for my girl… I mean for Lily. Damn. I didn't understand why that thought cropped up again.

"Yes, ma'am," Lily lied flatly. "I just need to know where Ash's food is and where to find him."

"_She's_ probably sleeping under my bed," I said fighting the urge to grin. Lily was smart as a whip, to get the information to actually complete what needed to be done without being caught in the lie. "Her food is in my trunk. Can't miss her, she's all white like I said and Damon can help point her out."

"I can manage, Malfoy," Lily said to me and I had to smile slightly. Madame Pomphrey looked at the two of us but I knew she figured that I had no reason to cover for Lily. Honestly, I had no reasonable reason to cover for her. I had no clue why I cared, why I covered, and yet I was lying to cover for her, none the less. I nearly snickered at Nice's soft, fake snores. I knew he'd laugh the minute Madame Pomphrey left us alone, and I couldn't blame him. I just hoped he wouldn't ask questions.

Defeated, or perhaps just not really caring, Madame Pomphrey sighed and handed Lily some tube. It was then that I noticed that Lily was covered in scrapes and gashes. I was curious to know if they were just from her plant-detention, but I knew I'd have to wait to ask. I figured, if nothing else, when Ash attacked Lily she'd look none the worse for the wear.

"Oh, and Potter," I called to her. She turned back to look at me, her eyes wide again in that infuriating way that was almost… _hypnotic_.

"Yes?" Lily asked expectantly. She looked nervous, yes, but almost excited to have me talk to her. That didn't bother me as much as it probably should have

"Remember Ash likes to scratch a bit, not that you'd be able to tell with what that plant has done to you," I teased. "I do appreciate you agreeing. No one else would get ten feet of the demonic cat."

"Uh, no problem," Lily said hesitantly as she smiled at me. Lily left the hospital room. Madame Pomphrey bade us good night and flipped off the light. I thought about her smile and I grinned to myself.

"You know, she's only eleven," Nice whispered in the darkness.


	4. Ash's Labor

**A/N:** Ok, I wrote this before I started NaNoWriMo, but completely forgot to upload it the first week of the competition. Works out ok, because now that I am done (yes, I wrote a 50k+ novel in 14 days) I can concentrate on my for fun writing, and of course squeeze some education in there somewhere…

**Disc.:** Creation is a start. Manipulation is divine.

* * *

**Ash's Labor**

On the morning of our big match against Gryffindor, our team walked together down to breakfast. Damon and I were bringing up the rear, Damon telling me yet again how Lily managed to achieve trust of my cat. Our team pulled to a stop just inside the door of the Great Hall. I peered around our beater, Malvo Flint, just in time to see Lily dump a bowl of milk and cereal on James Potter's head. Right or wrong, we laughed. The sight was epic! The milk dripped through James' hair and bits of cereal was sticking in it. He jumped up in outrage, rounding on Lily and I tensed for a moment, certain that he was going to deck her.

"Jerk," Lily cried at him angrily and stalked away without another word. Lily glared at us as she passed, almost daring us to follow or stop her. I was surprised by her anger towards us, though figured it was more likely just anger all around. Damon laughed as we sat down to eat breakfast. James looked over and glared at me, and I wasn't even laughing that hard at him.

I looked up as Lily's roommates came to eat breakfast and sat at the table. Darla sat across from me and looked at me expectantly. I looked at her for a few minutes, wondering what the kid wanted. It was funny how this girl, my future bride, posed no interest for me. To me, she was just some girl that I was supposed to marry because our grandfathers set it up. I wasn't even a fan of the whole ancient arranged marriage crap. She looked up at me again.

"Hello Darla," I said quietly.

"Are you excited about today's game?" Darla asked eagerly. I smiled, though I didn't feel the full warmth of the smile span my face.

"Yes," I replied. I hesitated, trying to figure out what else I should talk to her about. "Um. Are you coming to watch the match?"

"Of course I am! I couldn't think of missing seeing you play!" Darla said. She launched into a long winded conversation that was thankfully one-sided and I was thankful that she didn't need any more input for me than an occasional grunt. After a while, I looked around to see that others had left. Darla was looking at me again expectantly and I forced another smile.

"Want to walk back to the common room together?" I offered. Darla's face bloomed into a giant grin and she jumped up. I stood and followed her out of the Great Hall.

"I swear, sometimes, people really annoy me," Darla huffed as we walked along together.

"They do?" I asked innocently to prove I was keeping up with the conversation. She laughed and launched into a long spiel about her roommates. My ears only perked up when she started talking about Lily.

"I mean, she's nice enough, yeah, but you know she's so transparent," Darla said shaking her head.

"Transparent?" I asked as we got closer to the portrait hole. I slowed down, actually wanting to keep up the conversation.

"Yeah, I mean she's smart and what not, but sometimes I wonder if she's got any depth to her at all. She's so not like any other Slytherin," Darla said. I laughed, agreeing.

"Lily's definitely no Darla Goyle," I said grinning and Darla's face lit up like Christmas. I held the portrait open for her and followed her in.

"Oh, look, my roommate plays," Darla said sarcastically laughing, but only so I could hear her. "I'll catch you later, ok? I want to make sure my hair looks good for the match."

"See you later then," I said waving her off. I watched Lily from afar for a few moments, trying to figure out a way to strike up a natural conversation. I saw my traitorous cat, Ash, in her lap as it batted at her tie. She was playing Wizarding Chess with Shale. My feet propelled me forward and I stood towering over her, at her side.

"You know, that's not your demon cat, Potter," I said smoothly executing my entrance to her circle of friends. Lily looked up at me smirking. It felt funny knowing that she didn't need to see me to know that it was me talking to her. It didn't feel bad, just funny.

"Ash is not a demon cat," Lily said Ash mewed playfully and purred. I glanced around to see that the others didn't quite feel the same as Lily did about Ash. I sat down roughly next to her, squeezing into the space that was probably too small to sit and not invade her personal space. I could feel the heat radiating off of her, her sleeves rolled up to her elbows. The scrapes had begun to heal dramatically. I saw her cheeks flush slightly, the pink hue kissed just the apples of her cheeks, and she focused more on the board than was probably warranted.

"You're losing terrible," I laughed, not so much at her than just laughed in general. I reached to make Lily's knight take Shale's queen but the knight poked me in the finger with its sword. I withdrew my finger, sucking on the tiny pin prick. "Evil bugger."

"Hmm," Lily replied noncommittally as she moved the piece and overtook Shale's queen. She glanced at me for a moment before returning to her easy gaze on Shale. I decided that maybe she was still mad at me for laughing earlier in the Great Hall at the scene between James and her, so I stood.

"Well, I guess I'd better get ready for the match," I said. I went to take Ash and the cat growled a deep, throaty growl at me. She had never done that before. "Oh, come on. You turned my cat against me?"

"I did not," Lily said as she stroked Ash.

"She's never growled at me before," I accused lightly.

"Maybe she just likes the way I smell," Lily commented. She glanced at me but I made sure that I was unreadable. The last thing I needed her to know that I agreed. She did smell good. I had caught wisps of her scent here and there, and it was faintly intoxicating. I bottled that information up deep inside and instead just looked back at her blankly. She rolled her eyes. "Come on, Ash. Go back to you Daddy. Be a good girl for Daddy."

"Baby talk?" I teased her lightly again, always trying to keep it light between us. Lily made a face as she handed the placated cat back over to me. Ash seemed reluctant to come with me and that concerned me. Lily had only fed her the one time, and now the two were all buddy-buddy. I started back towards my dormitory, my back to Lily.

"And so you know, she sought me out," Lily called to me. I glanced back and smiled at her, catching her eye.

"Sure she did," I laughed before disappearing in my dormitory to ready for the match.

The match was positively miserable. The rain stung my skin as I flew about, scoring goals. The Quaffle was slippery from the water and I nearly dropped it a few times. In the rain, when I was able to, I would steal glances at the Slytherin first years and quickly became confused who Lily was actually cheering for. She was just cheering for everyone. It would figure. Even though she was on the outs with her older brother, she would still cheer for the prick.

I hated James Potter. Always had, always would. These feelings that seemed to catch me off guard about his baby sister were what confused me most. How could I hate James so much, and care for his sister at the same time. I froze in midair, shocked by my revelation. I cared about Lily. It explained so much. I took off to continue the game. I'd have to think about that more later; I didn't have time to think about it then.

We won, naturally. I saw Lily embracing Shale and Kate firmly, the three screaming and jumping up and down. Of course we Slytherins strutted back to the castle in the rain. A victory against Gryffindor ensured that we'd have a hell of a victory party. Our parties were epic in the sense that they were the precursors to the parties that we would participate in as adults, much like the Slytherin ball. My family was one of a very select few that hosted the honored party.

My eyes searched for the first years, and I was careful to look at Darla first, smiling briefly before my eyes landed on Lily. She and the other first years were sitting off to their selves, looking rather bored with the formal victory party. Damon, Elena, and I were chatting casually and yet every once in a while, my eyes would seek Lily out, almost as if they had minds of their own. Occasionally, I'd see one or two Slytherins' heads leaning towards another, talking, and I wondered curiously what they were discussing. It always ended with a big smile, and I couldn't deny that if I had talked to Lily like that, I'd smile much the same way.

I don't recall when I noticed that all of the first year students were gone. I was glancing around, having finished holding up my end of the retelling of the game we'd all just won, and I noticed Lily wasn't anywhere. I was curious, wondering where she had gone to. After the third failed attempt to find Lily, I noticed that they were all gone.

"Where did the first year kids go?" I asked casually to Celeste. She looked around quickly, frowning.

"I have no idea," Celeste said and in that moment, I regretted drawing to attention that they were gone. Celeste marched off to find Professor Perkins and I felt the icy hand of dread tickle my insides. After all I had done to keep Lily from getting in trouble, getting her to Filch for detention on time to lying to Madame Pomphrey, I was the one who was going to ultimately get Lily brought home by her mother.

Professor Perkins looked around, glaring at the first year boys' dormitory door. He swung it open, the rest of us behind him. I looked at the group, Lily and Shale's head leaning together in what looked like a kiss, an empty butterbeer bottle on the floor between them. I couldn't have been happier interrupting that, if that was the case. I couldn't explain it.

Professor Perkins marched them out of the dormitory, the ten of them standing in two perfect rows of first year students, the boys cowardly behind the girls. Professor Perkins paced back and forth, fire flaming in his dark eyes. He was pissed!

"Disgraceful, undignified behavior, unfitting of a Slytherin, all of you," Professor Perkins said as he practically spat the words.

"Sir, we were only having some fun," Lily piped up. He turned and looked at her with fire in his eyes and I cringed for the verbal retort. Lily was a smart girl, yes, but she really didn't serve herself well to reply to him. When Professor Perkins is angry, the last thing he wants is someone to actually answer him back. He held her in his glare, the two transfixed. She refused to look away, and he wouldn't.

"I'd have you all expelled if I could, or at least given detention if it wasn't for the fact that I do NOT wanting it getting out that there was such vile behavior happening in a dormitory. It is one thing to be visiting among your selves in the dormitories, but playing such foul games, MUGGLE games. It's disgusting," Professor Perkins said as he finally broke his glare and focused it on another student.

"Wait, we're in trouble because we were playing a muggle game?" Lily asked confused. I actually groaned and wanted to tell Lily to just shut it for a bit. She wasn't helping her cause at all.

"Its indecent," Johann piped up from where she stood behind Professor Perkins.

"It's immoral," another seventh year agreed.

"Its un-Slytherin!" a third piped up. Lily laughed. I couldn't believe she was laughing at them. You could practically see Professor Perkins' blood boiling.

"It's a game," Lily said shaking her head. "It's just a game."

"One week dormitory restriction!" Professor Perkins said in a rage-shaken voice. "Largynio Incantantum!"

I knew it was going to be a long week for those kids. They'd not be able to talk unless a teacher spoke to them first, and then it was only while the teacher held the child's attention. Otherwise, the first year students couldn't talk. It was a long week for me too. On the one hand, I didn't need to keep up with pretenses of wanting to talk to Darla. I didn't have to try to pay attention when she spoke. On the other hand, I missed hearing Lily's laughter and the way she talked among her friends. It was a quiet week in the house of Slytherin.

Somehow, and I don't know if we would ever find out, the first year students found away the silence and the inability to leave their dormitories. Damon and I watched carefully but we could never quite catch them doing anything wrong. Occasionally one would stand in the doorway, yawning and stretching, but we knew that they had to be communicating some way. It was ingenious, whatever they were doing, because as far as I knew no one could quite catch on that they were actually doing anything at all.

I was surprised how constrained they were on that Saturday, walking calmly to breakfast, talking quietly among themselves, and then readying to go out while the rest of us were heading to Hogsmead. It made me anxious to talk to Darla, just to be close to Lily, to catch snippets of her conversations and hear her voice. It was like the longer I went the more the rubber band stretched until I was certain that it was going to snap. I did my best to push Lily from my mind as Damon, Celeste, Elena, and I headed to Hogsmead. For the most part, I barely wondered where a particular first year was and what she was doing.

"You going to eat that?" Damon asked as we sat in Major Mince's Sandwich Shop. I looked down at the other half of my sandwich and shook my head. The girls had abandoned us to do a bit of shopping.

"Man, it's getting cold out there, huh?" I laughed as the door swung open, blasting us with some icy air.

"Sure is," Damon said with his mouth full. "You know what'd be fun? We out to see if Celeste and Elena want to go up to the Shrieking Shack."

"Meh, I don't know. It doesn't seem very haunted to me," I said shrugging.

We sought the girls out but they declined and I found myself climbing between the barbed wire fence with Damon while the wind whipped at us. Damon and I were both pulling crisp red and gold colored leaves out of hair as we entered. The place was dirty and dusty. We walked along the abandoned hallways, wandering about. There was nothing remotely scary about the place, despite local lore. Shrugging, we headed back towards town and then the castle. Damon went off to find a book he'd needed for his Transfiguration essay and I headed up to my room to get changed.

Shale was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. Lily was near him, lying on her stomach on the cold stone floor. She was nearly underneath my bed. I stared at the two of them for a minute, wondering what the hell they were doing. Shale barely glanced up at me, his face somber, but he didn't speak. There was a shoe box next to Lily, on the floor between her and Shale.

"What are you doing in my room?" I asked, hoping that I didn't come off cross sounding. I wasn't cross, just surprised.

"Your cat is having kittens," Lily said in her soft, soothing voice. I peeked and could see Lily gently stroking Ash's fur with her hand.

"Kittens? Really?" I said and I know I sounded surprised. I was. I didn't know Ash was pregnant. In fact, I had thought she was fixed for some reason. Shale had already begun to retreat out of the room, not exactly comfortable with being there.

"Yes," Lily breathed as a third kitten was born. She bit her lip as Ash pushed the kitten away. "So far, none of the kittens have made it." I looked at her, her eyes welling up with tears as she laid the small kitten in the shoe box with its two siblings. She fought back a sob, her shoulders trembling under the desire to burst into tears.

"It's ok," I tried to reassure her. I hated to see her cry. I mean, I hated it when anyone cried, but normally I'd just have the desire to flee from them. Crying people made me uncomfortable, but Lily's tears made me want to wipe them away from her eyes. She beat me to it, forcing them free from her face roughly with her palms. She shook her head wordlessly and repositioned herself on the floor, soothingly stroking Ash's fur.

The concept seemed simple enough, to show one's tenderness in touch and I found my own hand reaching out for Lily. Uncertain that she'd not get upset by my touch, I lightly stroked her hair. It was soothing for me, at least, and I imagine it had to have been for Lily. Her hair was so soft, almost like a fine spun silk. Over and over, I caressed her hair and I knew that it was soothing, even without confirmation. The three of us, Lily, Ash, and I remained like that for hours.

My roommates came in only briefly to gather a few things to sleep with before retreating to the common room. None wanted to hear the painful wails of a mother cat laboring hard for her kittens. I begged Ash silently to please let at least one live so that Lily wouldn't feel like her effort had been a waste. I don't recall when Lily nodded off, but I remember looking down at her to see her eyes closed and her breathing regular. Her hand was resting on Ash. I glanced at the clock, the hour nudging close to midnight.

Then it happened. All of the wailing and whining ceased and the tiny mews of a kitten replaced them. Ash nudged Lily's hand aside as she licked and cleaned her final kitten, this time the kitten was alive and fighting to stay that way. I was ecstatic. I would have felt horrible if I had to tell Lily that the final kitten had died. I leaned close to her, readying to wake her, and I could feel her breath on my face momentarily as she slept on the cold floor of my room. At thirteen, I didn't think about the implications of letting her stay there or of lifting her into one of the empty beds.

"Lily?" I whispered in her ear. She groaned slightly and tried to ignore me. I chuckled slightly, knowing that I hated to be wakened when I sleep. "Lily, please wake up."

"Hmm?" Lily murmured sleepily.

"Ash had her final kitten, Lily," I told her quietly. "Just a few minutes ago; it looks like its ok."

Lily looked at the mother and baby, the tiny baby rooting around for its first feeding. Lily smiled, sleepily, but still with great pride. I leaned forward to look with her, our cheeks practically pressed up against each other. She blushed and I could feel the heat burn in her cheeks. She shifted slight and I backed up enough so that she could sit. She looked tired, but greatly relieved and I was happy to see the smile lingering on her lips. I glanced down at her arm to see that Ash had raked extended claws across Lily's forearm. I touched it slightly and she trembled. I looked at her curiously, but said nothing about her reaction to my touch.

"You should get this checked out," I said quietly as my fingers remained on her flesh. Lily blushed and pulled her arm away.

"I'm fine," Lily said. "I'm just glad Ash is ok. Have you thought about what you're going to name the kitten?"

"I was thinking Ash Two," I said dismissively. Lily shook her head, giving me a contemptuous look.

"The poor thing; can't you come up with something more fitting for the blessed beast?" Lily asked. I grinned at her.

"What would you name it if it was yours?" I challenged. Lily yawned slightly as she stood. I followed suit, standing.

"I'd name it something spectacular, fitting," Lily said as she walked to the door. She glanced out to the common room where the other four inhabitants of my dormitory slept.

"Like?" I asked as I stood unnaturally close to her. I could feel the heat that radiated off of her, like she was the sun and I wondered if a person could spontaneously combust. Her cheeks took on a rosy hue as she blushed.

"Like Amaia," Lily said.

"Why Amaia?" I asked curious. I had never heard that name before.

"It's pretty, starts with an "A" like Ash, and it is the Basque meaning for 'end', which is fitting," Lily said quietly. I smiled at her, unable to really come up with an appropriate response to her words. Corny as it sounded, when she spoke even the most simple things, it really was like poetry. I was awed.

"Thanks for sitting with Ash through her kittens, I think you really calmed her down a lot," I said quietly. She bit her bottom lip slightly.

"I only wished I could have done more," Lily said. She glanced at the small box on the trunk and her eyes welled up with tears. I smiled at her reassuringly and wrapped my arms around her, catching us both off guard. I had no idea what compelled me to hug her.

"You did more for her than I could have, thank you, Lily," I said honestly. I finally released her from the hug and Lily uncertainly walked away. She glanced back at me, almost shyly.

"Good night Scorpius," Lily said. I smiled at her.

"Good night, Lily," I replied.

I closed the door behind me and headed to my bed, glancing under at Ash and the baby. I smiled at them, touching them both with my fingers before I glanced at the shoe box. I wondered how hard it must have been for Lily to watch them be born and die in the same moment. I glanced at my bed to see Lily's belonging on it. I moved them all to the top of the trunk, my hand holding on to her scarf for a moment. I stripped off my clothes and climbed into bed, sleepy. I fell asleep immediately, my face pressed against the scarf that lingered with scent of Lily on its ever fiber.

That was the first night I dreamt about Lily Potter.


	5. Burning

A/N: Just meandering along with the story…

**Disc.:** Creation is a start. Manipulation is divine.

**Burning**

I fell into step behind Lily, waiting for her to realize that I was there. I liked that look on her face when she'd catch me nearby unexpectedly and she oppressed it quickly, almost if she was afraid to let herself be read like a book. She stood a little taller, not turning to look at me, but I knew that she knew I was there.

"I thought you said I'd get used to it?" Lily complained without turning around to look at me. For a moment, I wondered where her friends were, but I assumed that she had taken insanely longer or shorter than her roommates, thus causing her to walk to breakfast alone. I grinned unseen.

"You will," I told her. She glanced at me skeptically and I grinned again. "Heading to breakfast?"

"Yes," she said as she withdrew her arms into her cloak like a little kid, probably tucking them against her body. It wasn't a very Slytherin thing to do, walk around with your arms in your cloak, but I didn't say anything to that effect. "Are you sure my scarf wasn't with my jacket, because I could have sworn it was."

"I gave you back everything you left in my room," I lied with a smirk on my face. Most girls melted when I looked at them, but not her. Not at all. Instead, Lily rolled her eyes. I knew she didn't believe me, but it was her thoughts and words against mine.

"I guess I'll just ask James to swing over to the robe shop and see if he can't pick me up a new one then," Lily said sighing overdramatically as we reached the door. I knew she was just trying to guilt me into giving her back her scarf, of which I had no intention of doing. I had the greatest dreams about Lily since she left it in my room, though I had taken to hiding it in my pillowcase just to be safe. I didn't want her getting wise and coming to look for it. I knew no one would ever look there.

"No matter," I murmured softly as I seized her wrist. I never intend on giving her scarf back to her, but I didn't want Lily to get sick or anything either because of it. I unwound my scarf, a little excited by the idea that she would be wearing something of mine.

"No, wait Scorpius," Lily protested and I couldn't help but smile. "I can't take your scarf."

"Take it Lily," I told her as I wound it around her neck securely. I couldn't help but grin that she was wearing my clothes, my scarf. "I have others."

"Really, I shouldn't," Lily said. She had a faint smile on her lips and I could tell that she was slightly embarrassed, but in a good way. I smiled again, excited to see that it affected her.

"It looks better on you, anyways," I said quietly. Her face reddened even more.

"What will you use while you're in Hogsmead?" Lily asked me, almost as a last ditch effort to not except my gift. I grunted with a shrug of my shoulders, not really having thought that far out. It would be cold in Hogsmead without my scarf, but well worth it if Lily was wearing it. She looked at me rather worried and I wanted to put those worries to bed, so to speak.

"I'll just have to make due," I said shrugging slightly. "Don't worry about it, Lily. I'll just grab another one. You stay warm with this one."

"Thank you," Lily said to me as her cheeks pinked slightly. She pushed through the doors and I watched her as she found her regular seat. Shale and Kate were not far behind, Shale taking her left, Kate taking her right.

I found my seat with my fellow third year classmates, Damon glancing at Lily for a moment and then back at me. I shrugged as Darla came in excited. She stopped halfway between Lily's group and my own, excitedly rambling. I wasn't listening very carefully until she muttered the 's' word: snow. I perked right up and turn, my focus completely on Darla at the moment as she sat down across from Lily, Kate, and Shale.

"Didn't you know?" Darla asked. She pointed to a nearby window. "It's snowing. It's going to be a white Halloween this year." We all glanced over at the windows, and sure enough there were white flakes of snow sticking to the glass panes.

"SNOW!" Shale cheered. I looked over at Shale, the poor boy excitedly shoveling food into his mouth and I hoped that some of our older Slytherin housemates didn't see his behavior. Elena looked at me, her look easily interpreted as 'Where's the fire?' and I shrugged. I was excited about the snow as well, Hogsmead always a great place to go when there are inches of snow, or so I had been told. I watched as Shale threw back his pumpkin juice and grabbed Lily by the hand, practically dragging her out of the Great Hall.

Damon, Elena, and I finished up our breakfast at a more leisurely pace and we finally stood, ready to face the wintery wonderland. I had to admit that I was excited to get out of the castle, off the school grounds, and to Hogsmead. The three of us queued up so that Mr. Filch could check us off the list. Celeste fell into line next to us, chatting with Elena about some Transfiguration homework. I glanced around, my eyes automatically seeking out Lily. She and her friends were goofing off by the fountain and she took that moment to look up at me. She smiled.

I would have enjoyed that moment better had Shale in his attempt to maintain her complete attention not decided at that moment to crush a very large snowball on Lily's head. I shook my head as she looked at him in mild shock, the clumps of snow clinging to her hair. The white against her auburn hair was a bold contrast, and it glinted in the sun. I nearly laughed as Lily sprung and tackled Shale to the ground, pinning him hard against the snow. I felt a little uneasy by my feelings of almost jealousy, a fleeting and irrational thought that wanted have her pin me like that, her legs on either side of my body.

"Come on," Damon said tugging on my sleeve as Filch checked us off. Damon and I got in our own snowy fun on the way to Hogsmead, a few ill timed snowballs hitting the girls. They promptly abandoned us for more mature prospects, which caused us to laugh because it seemed like they were always trying to find an excuse to ditch us, but never wanted to walk to Hogsmead alone.

Damon and I spent the day just being ourselves, pelting random Gryffindors with snowballs from various hiding places. I caught James no less than three times, and it took everything fiber of my being to not roar with laughter and to give away my position when he'd turn around, rubbing the snow out of his hair and scowling. It was one of the best days of my life.

"Next time, Potter," I heard as I walked across the grounds towards the castle. It was cold and I was itching to get in and warm up before the big Halloween feast. "I'll get you next time." I turned around, looking who was threatening James, eager to shake his hand. I saw Lily walking backwards, pointing at her cousin, the boy one.

"Anytime Weasley," she had called. She was practically next to me, laughing at her cousin for whatever reason and she nearly tripped over this barely visible tree root that seemed to crop up out of the snow. Her hand shot out as I went to grab for her and she seized my robes in her hand, clutching at the wool fabric to keep from spilling to the ground. She looked up at me, blushing and I swear I could hear her groan slightly in embarrassment.

"Sorry," Lily said as she brushed the snow from her clothes, averting her eyes. "I'll watch where I'm walking." Her embarrassment was evident on her face.

Not sure as to what to say, I raised an eyebrow at her as she nodded at me once, retreating quickly, almost in a full out run, to join Kate and Shale who were waiting for her. She glanced back at me. I was still on course to the common room myself, where I assumed they were going in their erratic pace of walking fast and then walking slow. They were shivering and red faced. Lily didn't once look back at me as I followed along with Damon at a comfortable, even pace. Lily started, to my surprise, to remove her cloak in the middle of the corridor.

"What are you doing? It's freezing in here," I heard Shale ask her. I wondered the same thing. It wasn't as cold as the outdoors, but this place was drafty in the corridors. I picked up my pace slightly to hear her reasoning.

"I'm freezing and this thing is soaked, more so than my clothes," Lily said. "I don't want to catch a cold or something."

"How'd you three manage to get sopping wet?" I asked curiously. I mean I had spent all day outside in the snow and only the very bottom of my cloak was even remotely damp.

"Snowball fight," Lily said as she glanced back at me. Her clothes clung to her as if she had been swimming in the lake. I was tempted to take my cloak off and throw it around her, and had we been alone, I very nearly would have.

"It was awesome," Shale said excitedly. "I won the whole thing for Slytherin."

Lily looked away from me, laughed and nodded in agreement. I passed the three of them, heading first through the portrait hole. I stopped and held it open for them, waiting not because I was a nice guy but because I didn't want to part from her quite yet.

"You're face is rosy," I commented to Lily, grinning. "You may want to go get some warm, dry clothes on so that you don't get sick."

"Can I come by and see Ash and her kitten," Lily asked me suddenly, her hands clutched in front of her body, begging. I hesitated, not realizing the sudden strange feelings that seemed to assault my insides. She bit her bottom lips and looked up at me, pleading with her big, blue eyes. A stronger man would have crumbled before then. "Please, Scorpius. I won't stay long."

"Fine, fine," I smiled slightly and rolled my eyes. Lily squealed in response, quite girlishly, and threw her arms around me, catching me off guard. My eyes shot open wide, the iciness of her first embrace with me chilling me straight through my cloak. "You're wet, Lily. Let go."

"Sorry, sorry," Lily laughed as she pulled away. I immediately wanted her to embrace me again, though I could have done without the coldness and wetness.

"Go get changed. The Halloween Festival is tonight. Trust me, you don't want to miss it," I told her with a smile, trying to cover up my own desire. Lily grinned at me and ran off to join her friend, Kate.

I watch Lily throughout the Halloween feast but kept my distance. Those lines between Malfoy and Potter seemed to get blurred anytime I was around her and I knew that it could be dangerous. Still, I couldn't help but glanced her way every once in a while. Luckily for me, Darla was sitting near her, on her side of the table and had anyone noticed I was looking that way a lot, they could surmise that it was Darla and not Lily that I was looking at.

The younger kids were sent off to bed first and I felt both relieved and disappointed when Lily and her friends left from the table. With her gone, I wasn't looking at her or watching her anymore, which was good in the sense I could keep up with the conversation I was having with Damon. On the bad side, she was gone and I couldn't help but wonder where she was and what she was up to.

"Hey, man. You all right?" Damon asked me. I looked at him in confusion and laughed.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I asked him as I made a face.

"You've been kind of spacey," Damon said. I laughed.

"No, I haven't," I lied. I wondered if I really had been. "Just because I am deep in thought doesn't mean I am spacey." Damon looked at me like he doubted what I was saying but I gave him that arrogant look I learned from my father and Damon backed down. I grinned as I stood and he waved me off.

I headed slowly to the common room, not really ready for bed but thinking that it might be best for me to start heading that way. I was certain that our gracious captain would want us as well rested as possible for practice, and I was not about to be the first person to whine about being tired. I headed through the common room, most of the first and second years already long gone to bed, where they belonged. I opened the door to my dormitory and headed over to my bed.

Curled up with my cat and her kitten was Lily. Her eyes were closed and she was fast asleep. I guess all the snow play earlier wore her out more than she expected it to. I watched her sleep for a few minutes, wondering what she was dreaming about. She looked so peaceful and I was sure that whatever she was dreaming about was probably full of goodness and wonder and light. Lily was just one of those people. I didn't want to wake her, but I knew that it'd not be good for either of us if she spent the night sleeping in my bed. For one I was pretty sure that it was against the rules.

"You know, it's rude to climb into a bloke's bed without at least some sort of permission," I said loud enough that I knew she'd hear me, no matter if she was asleep or not. I guess my voice carried a bit more power behind it because she jumped, startled at the sound. Ash looked at me with disdain. Lily pushed herself up on her arms and she yawn.

"Ash gave me permission," Lily lied as she rested her head back down on her arm and turned her back to me.

"Oh, so my demon cat gave you permission, did she?" I said as I remained firmly where my feet were planted. Half of me was tempted to move forward, the other half determined to step away. It was a confusing mix of motions that I could neither suppress nor control.

"Mhmm, yes," Lily murmured as she played with the cat's collar. I could hear Ash purring at Lily's touch and my cheeks warmed wondering what it would feel like for Lily to touch me so casually. I near choked, reminding myself that she was James Potter's eleven year old sister, Slytherin or not.

"You going to stay," I asked her as I finally moved, heading in front of the mirror. I could see Lily in it's reflection, her eyes on me with a sleepy sort of curiosity. Without thought, I slowly undid my tie and dropped it next to her on the bed. I watched curiously as I removed my shirt, letting it fall from my fingers before putting on the tee shirt I would probably attempt to wear to bed. I couldn't help but smile. From this vantage point, she seemed to be holding her breath. My smile spread and I touched the button to my trousers, a silent threat of what was about to come. Her eyes met mine, the blue wider than the sea. Embarrassment colored her face bright red.

"I should go," Lily squeaked out as she jumped up and sprinted out of the dormitory. I laughed and changed into my favorite sweat pants. She was the most unusual girl I knew, and that was saying a lot.

Damon walked in as I scooped my discarded clothes off the floor. He and I chatted for a bit before I settled down under my covers. It was unnerving the way my body seemed try and take the same position that Lily had in the bed, almost as if my body wanted to will to be as close to her as possible. I knew it was silly to think that, but with her aroma still lingering in my linens, my mind was a haze of unexplainable feelings. I jerked my tee shirt off, knowing that the fabric would keep me awake all night if I even dared to try.

I fell asleep and dreamed improper dreams of Lily. They flashed like bad snapshots, but I didn't care. They seemed to all revolve around one thing, Lily and me being together. The snapshots slowed down until they stopped and with such precision, I dreamed about holding her and kissing Lily Potter. We were older in my dream, the ick-factor long gone. She tasted so sweet and the dream felt so real as she gripped my shoulder, encouraging for me to do more than kiss her.

She shook me. At first I was confused as to whether this was part of the dream or not, it felt so real, and then she shook me again, tearing me from my about to become very pleasant dream. I opened my eyes, surprised and annoyed. I was annoyed that someone had woken me, but surprised to see Lily standing over me in her sleep clothes. For a minute, my stomach flip flopped and a deep part of me that I was vaguely aware of ached and burned.

"I was in the middle of a really good dream," I complained quietly.

"I'm sorry," Lily said quietly. She bit her bottom lip slightly, as if she was thinking of the way to put some bad news. "My friend Shale needs someone to walk him down to the hospital wing."

"So take him," I said squirming under my blankets slightly. Suddenly I felt hot everywhere, the burning tearing through me well below my navel. I glanced at her hand, it still holding on to my bare shoulder and I figured that it was the source of my sudden discomfort, though it felt good to have her flesh and mine together, so natural. "Think you might want to take your hand off my shoulder a bit?"

"Sorry," Lily said pulling her hand back. She sat down on the edge of the bed. "I can't take him. It would be hard to explain."

"Hard to explain?" I yawned as I sat up a little, adjusting my pillows behind my back. I wasn't fan of how the headboard felt against it and I always put my pillows between me and it. Without thinking, I touched her arm, causing her to turn to me. "What were you doing with him? It feels like it is late." I was curious, how Lily and Shale were up so late that he would go to her. I assumed that she was not in her bed again, having caught her dozing on the chairs with a book more nights than I could probably remember. She looked at me again, hesitantly.

"It is late, er, well really early actually. He and I were just talking," Lily said. I raised my eyebrow at her slightly. Talking my ass. I wasn't born yesterday, and I knew that boys like Shale, like me, only talked to girls when we could be sleeping or doing other things when we really were into the girl "Please, please take him down there for me."

"All right, Lils, I'll take him down to the hospital wing," I buckled and agreed, a slight grin on my face. "I can't have your reputation tarnished." I knew I would do it the moment she asked, because frankly I couldn't imagine saying no to her.

"Oh, thanks so much, Scorpius," Lily said throwing her arms around my neck suddenly, catching me completely off guard. I turned to look at her and she kissed me on the mouth. It was a quick kiss, not lasting more than a hand full of seconds, but it was enough to cause her to register on her face the same surprise I felt inside. That burning feeling was back with a vengeance, swirling and licking my insides, threatening to consume. I ached. She pulled back as if I had actually burst into flames.

"No worries," I said in a forcedly cool voice, not betraying how I truly felt, as Lily retreated from my bed at an alarming rate. I climbed out of bed and retrieved my tee shirt from where I had discarded it, heading into the common room as I pulled it into place over my head.

"Thanks man," Shale said nasally as he wiped his face with his palms. I looked at Shale, wondering what the hell had happened. I jerked a bunch of tissues from a box and held it out to the boy. Lily and Shale looked insanely guilty for some reason, and it piqued my curiosity. Shale held the wad of paper to his nose.

"What did you do?" I asked as I looked at him. Shale's eyes never met mine, and I knew whatever he said would be a lie.

"Walked into a wall," Shale said. I nearly laughed, the most absurd excuse in the world and he was trying to use it.

"A wall did this to you?" I asked skeptically. I looked at Lily but she looked away quickly, her face red.

"Er, yeah," Shale said nodding. I shook my head in disbelief but shrugged.

"Whatever you want me to believe," I said. I gestured toward the portrait hole with my hand. "Come on, let's go. I want to get back to bed. I was having an awesome dream before _she_ so rudely woke me up."


	6. Cherries

A/N: Thank you to those of you who are reading and reviewing! I do appreciate it greatly.

Disc.: Creation is a start. Manipulation is divine.

* * *

Cherries

I wasn't really surprised that as we crept towards our last days of the term I didn't get to see Lily as much as I would have liked. Whatever had transpired between Lily and Shale seemed to have had no ill effect on their friendship and pushed Shale towards dating their third friend, Kate. Watching the two of them together was sickly sweet and the few times I caught a glimpse of Lily, she was usually giggling at them or rolling her eyes. Once she even turned to Darla and made a gagging face, her face blossoming into a grin. I had hoped that with Shale and Kate partnered, Lily would hang out more with Darla, who was spending an insane amount of time following me around.

There was no such luck. Lily truly was content it seemed, following the two around or being alone. Anytime I would get near her while she was hanging with Darla, she'd tense up and excuse herself from the conversation or bury herself in one of the giant text books she always seemed to hang onto as a shield. At first it was amusing, but then I started to get a little annoyed that she seemed so uncomfortable around me.

"So, Scorpius, your grandparents are hosting this year's Slytherin Ball, aren't they?" Darla asked me toward the final days before the end of the term. I was lounging in the common room, looking around for something to make the time go faster. Damon was off Merlin only knew where. I glanced up at her.

"Yes," I said. I didn't frown but I was tempted to. I knew that her grandfather and mine had been talking, finalizing the plans for our arranged marriage. She knew that the ball was being hosted and girls like that drove me insane. I hated when they always played stupid, because it was hard to think of them as stupid. Playful on the occasion, annoying as the common method of behavior and Darla seemed hell bent on always playing the wide-eyed ignorant little girl.

"So, have you decided who you are going with?" Darla asked with feigned disinterest. I could see her watching me out of the corner of my eye and she looked like she was ready to rake her nails across any girl's face that I might mention. I also knew that she was vying for a personal invitation. My grandfather had been sending me owl after owl to invite Darla as my date, and I had no intention of doing so.

"I don't think I'm going with anyone," I said as I looked over at her, judging her reaction. "I just think with me helping my Gran out with preparations is going to keep me so busy, and I don't know that I could devote as much time to my date as I think she deserves."

Darla pondered that for a minute, contemplating if I was speaking about her or not in regards to asking her. Before she could get it worked out, I stood and waved good bye to her, wondering how far I'd get before she tried to chase me down. I decided to take my loaner back to the library and grabbed it from my dorm. I slipped out the portrait hole just as Darla seemed to catch up with her thoughts and began to look for me. I was grateful for the group that came in as I was going out, hiding my escape. I knew that I would have to get over that part of my relationship with Darla, but I still had hope that I could talk my grandfather out of it.

Lucius could be a reasonable man, sometimes, and I hoped that I could work on him a bit over the Christmas Holiday. It wasn't that I didn't like Darla, because she was a very nice person under everything, and the Goyle family had been friends of the family for eons, but I just didn't think Darla was the girl for me. I told myself that this had nothing to do with Lily. After all, I had been having doubts since it was announced two years before I even met Lily.

I slipped into the library and scanned the room as I placed my book in the return bin. My eyes fell on Lily sitting by the window, hiding behind a book, ducking behind it but not quickly enough for her to realize that I had seen her. I felt a little giddy as my heart picked up the pace and my feet propelled me across the library to her table. I stood above her, the table between us, studying the parts that I could see from my position which amounted to the hands that gripped her book and the top of her hair.

"Are you still embarrassed about kissing me?" I teased her lightly. Bantering with her sometimes was so natural, and she rose to the occasion when it did. Lily looked up at me, her face a mix of embarrassment and resentment.

"It was an accident," she hissed at me. She looked away, focusing on her book. She groaned aloud as I pulled the chair out and sat down. I stared at her for a moment, watching how tense her hands were while she gripped the book like a life preserver.

"Lily, it happened weeks ago," I taunted her laughing. Lily looked up at me over her book, and I read her expression easily as slightly annoyed. "It was _cute_, but totally nothing, you know? You should move on. You've been acting weird around me since."

"I didn't kiss you on purpose," she defended though her face did take on a rosy hue. "And I've _not _been acting weird around you."

"Yes, you have," I whispered grinning at her. "And it's really cute, really, but I am almost three years older than you. You understand why it wouldn't be a good idea, right?"

"I don't have and ideas about you, and I'm not asking anything of you," Lily laughed. "I can't tell you _enough_, it was an accident. I _meant_ to kiss your cheek. You turned your head. End of story."

"End of story?" I challenged with a grin. Lily forced herself to grin.

"Yes, end of story," Lily said. She smirked at me, one befitting of a Malfoy and I was impressed. I chuckled as she focused on her book. "Plus, you're not my type."

"You're eleven years old. How do you even _have_ a type," I challenged. She laughed, looking up at me. My heart pounded inexplicably.

"I have a type," Lily said. Heat rose to her cheeks slightly, which did not go ignored by me. I couldn't help but grin. The obvious discomfort she seemed to have with this conversation prodded me to continue. Bantering with her was always so much fun, the way I would goad her.

"You're blushing," I teased her. She laughed and ducked behind her book again, hiding her face and her embarrassment behind the pages.

"I am not," Lily lied from behind her book. I reached across the table, gripping the book and pulled it out of her hands. I didn't want her to hide from me. I couldn't explain it. The sensations internally brought about when she reacted to my words were addictive. She looked at me with a mix of curiosity and annoyance. "Yes?"

"So, what is your type, then, Lily?" I questioned easily. Her face got redder.

"I'm not telling you!" Lily exclaimed.

"Why not?" I prompted. After all, it seemed like a perfectly appropriate thing to talk about since she was the one to bring it up in the first place.

"I don't know. Maybe because you're a _guy_," Lily said emphatically. She frowned at me, but not in the way that other girls sometimes frowned. It was cute on Lily.

"Yeah, but I'm also your friend," I reminded her playfully holding her book from her. She laughed.

"What's going on here?" James asked standoffishly. Stupid git snuck up on me and nearly scared me. I watched Lily's face contort slight from playful embarrassment to annoyance and reluctance as she looked up at her big brother. I placed the book on the table between us. Lily looked terribly uncomfortable with him towering over us, and me in the lower position, it bothered me as well.

"Just a friendly chat between two Slytherins," I smirked arrogantly as I stood. Lily's eyes were still glued to James and I saw that the boy was glaring at her. Eager to break the eye contact between the two before Potter set his sister on fire with his glare-ray vision, I rapped my knuckles on the table, breaking the concentration. Lily pulled her eyes away from him and looked at me, almost reluctant. "I'll catch you later in the common room and we can continue to chat."

"Ok," Lily said nodding. I smiled at her reassuringly and she smiled reactively. I started walking away, hoping that James would follow. Oh how I would have loved to duel him a bit, but as I glanced back at Lily, he had sat down at the table and seemed to be giving her a piece of his mind. I snickered, hoping he didn't run out. Madame Pince looked at me.

"Move along, Mr. Malfoy," she said and I nodded once, heading straight out of the library. I headed back to the common room to find Darla was nowhere in sight, for which I was grateful. I headed into my dormitory to make sure that my last minute holiday packing was complete.

The entire train ride home, I ignored the first years as much as possible. Damon and I attempted a few hands of exploding snaps to bide our time. My father was there to pick me up, as always, and we apparated back to Malfoy Manor. The house looked as immaculate as ever and my grandmother embraced me with the constraint befitting a Malfoy woman. It had bothered my grandfather that my mother had never been that way. Mum would throw herself at you with her arms wide open. When I was little, she'd pick me up and spin me around in a circle. My grandfather told her that she was spoiling me and keeping me soft, but Mum didn't care.

Sometimes the impact of losing my mother caught me off guard. Gran was great, and so was dad, but some things a boy really just needs his mother for. I would have loved to have been able to talk to my mum about Lily. Mum would have gone to bat for me, gone against my grandfather. She had tried back in the beginning when my grandfather announced the arrangement. Dad and Gran had backed down, by not Mum. Mum was my advocate. She was always there with a quick word, a silly joke, and eager, warm arms to embrace me with. Dad didn't even hug me anymore, Gran hugged with reserve, and I couldn't remember a time that my grandfather ever hugged me. I looked up as he walked into the room, his stately can helping him keep balance.

"The boy returns," he said in his quiet and austere voice. I looked up at him and nodded once.

"Yes, sir," I said respectfully. He launched into all the arrangements that he had been making in regards to Darla and me. I really didn't listen to him carefully, wanting nothing to do with it. It just didn't make sense. My dad had been lucky, not having to deal with this. He married for love, my mother, but then my great grandfather had died before he could force the arranged marriage. Love because I was supposed to love someone? Not because I actually did. I wanted what my mum and dad had, not what my grandfather made me marry someone.

"So, you asked Darla to the ball, didn't you?" Lucius pressed. I looked at him and shook my head hesitantly.

"No, sir," I added, remembering that he was not one that you just made gestures with. I straightened my spine as his face contorted slightly with anger. His hand twitched slightly on the top of his walking can, his wand sheathed inside it safe and withdrawn.

"Why not?" Lucius said to me coldly.

"She and I discussed that I would be very busy helping out with the ball preparations, and neither wants her to be bored or tied to me," I said. I looked at him, holding his steely gaze wanting nothing more than to look away. I wasn't lying, _exactly_. He looked at me critically but said nothing more.

"There are a few names on the list that I need for you to confirm with me," Gran told me as she took my arm and led me away from the front foyer. "We have to get these invite owled out and there are a few students that just don't seem to be fitting the list, exactly."

"Thanks, Gran," I said as she closed the door to the drawing room.

"Scorpius, dear, you know I only want what's best for you," she said to me as she sat down at the small table set up in the drawing room. "And, to be honest, there is a name on the list that I am not sure is correct."

"Let me guess," I said sighing. "Lily Potter?"

"So, she is a Slytherin after all?" my grandmother said as she looked at the name again on her list. She looked up at me as I took a seat. "You know, her father saved your father a few times, during the war."

"Dad doesn't talk about the war much," I murmured. It was a forbidden topic in our house, a grand embarrassment. A few times, my grandfather had sequestered me in his den and told me about how great things had been in the time of the Death Eaters. He spoke proudly of his branding, and of my father's branding. He spoke almost reverently of the Dark Lord, long since passed, and of the work that they did.

I asked my father about it once, hesitantly, when I was about ten years old or so. My dad hadn't wanted to talk about it, but my mum never hid anything from me. She had explained that my dad hadn't really wanted to join, even though it made his father incredibly proud of him for once. Shortly after the fall of the Dark Lord, my mum watched my father carve up his own arm to remove the branding. She had encouraged him, and she sewed up his arm. I had glimpsed the now long healed scare on his fore arm, faded into a line of silver.

"Tell me about her," Gran said. I looked up at her, my thoughts shattered.

"Who, Lily?" I asked. My grandmother nodded. I shrugged and started talking. "She's a small girl with dark auburn hair, which is good since she could have been a carrot top like her cousin. She's incredibly quick witted, great at bantering. She sat up all night with Ash when she was laboring, cried over the dead kitten. She seems like she's a really nice person."

"Hmm…" Gran said looking at me after I finally stopped talking Lily up fifteen minutes later.

"What?" I asked uncertainly.

"Do you like her?" Gran asked me with her wide, innocent eyes.

"Of course," I said confused. "She's fun and a really good friend."

"I mean do you _like_ her," Gran asked me. I felt my cheeks get pink.

"I don't know," I said frowning. "Doesn't matter who I like or don't like, though, does it? Granddad has me marrying Darla, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, yeah he does," Gran said. She looked over the list, thinking. "Since Lily isn't even aware that we have this little ball every year, she's probably not going to know what to wear."

"Probably not," I said. I felt my pulse quicken at the sound of Lily's name. When someone else spoke it, it was hard to guard myself from being affected. It was a little annoying. "Hey, we should probably pick one out for her."

"You want to buy her a dress?" Gran asked me smiling. I blushed again and shrugged.

"We have an image to uphold, don't we?" I rambled off quickly.

"We can head there just after I set the house elves up with addressing and sending off the invites," Gran said dismissing me to change. I passed no one on my way up to my room. I changed out of my school clothes and opted for a little more casual look. I rejoined Gran in the foyer and she apparated us to Diagon Ally. We headed to the one somewhat decent dress shop that every witch and wizard went to for formal robes.

The beady eyed shop madam looked up as we walked in. She seemed genuinely surprised to see Gran there, as Gran had already purchased her gown. I wandered around a little, not really comfortable with the whole dress shop thing as Gran and the shop keeper spoke.

"Do you see anything that you'd like for your friend?" the shop keeper asked. I shook my head once and continued to wander in between the racks. I didn't know what the hell I was looking for.

"Scorpius, how tall is Lily?" Gran asked me.

"She's short," I said. I held my hand up to my shoulder. "Shorter than this. I think she's the shortest student at the school."

"Perhaps we should look in the girls' section then," Gran recommended. I looked at the dresses and they were for adult-sized adults. I blushed and followed Gran and the shop keeper towards the girls' section.

"I have a very special dress that just came in," the shop keeper said as she headed towards the back for a moment. I looked at Gran who seemed just as surprised as I did. We patiently waited, my turning down the blacks and blues and maroons for one reason or another. The shop keeper returned holding a huge garment bag.

"That is the dress," I said in a rush when the shop keeper pulled it out of its bag. I could picture Lily in this dress. It was Slytherin colors, green fabric and silver colored buttons.

"We'll go ahead and get it," Gran said after the shop keeper gushed on about some stupid antique silver buttons. I didn't care the specifics, I just knew it when I saw it that it was the dress that Lily had to wear to the ball.

Gran worked out all the details while I headed towards the window of the shop, watching as people hurried down the ice cold street. At first, I thought we were going to bring the dress home with us and send it over to Lily ourselves. Gran grinned at me.

"Let the child think she has a secret admirer," Gran said in her sometimes devilish way. I laughed because I could picture that look of surprise on Lily's face, a faint blush creeping across her cheeks.

"Plus, if there needs to be any altering," the shop keeper said quickly.

"Oh, I doubt that it'll need to be altered," I said grinning. In my mind, the dress would fit Lily perfectly, as if the dress was made for her.

Gran and I walked along the street silently. She didn't say anything about Lily but I could tell she wanted to ask me more about her. I didn't know what I would say if she asked. How do you tell your grandmother that you fancy a girl that isn't your betrothed? I didn't know, and so I secretly prayed she'd not ask. Instead, we wandered a bit more until it was time to depart back to Malfoy Manor. I headed upstairs, thoughts of Lily swirling in my mind while I took the steps two at a time.

I sat down on my desk, looking at the wall for a moment, thinking. I knew that Lily and I were only supposed to be friends. After all, I had Darla to think of. Darla was easy to shop for, I had already put in my order for some benign bauble I had seen and knew she'd gush over it. Darla's present took no thought. Still, I sat at my desk wondering what kind of gift I should get Lily. It would have to be one that others couldn't misconstrue as something more. I didn't need my grandfather catching wind that I put more thought and effort in to Lily's gift than I did Darla's.

"What do I get Lily?" I said aloud as I scratched out Lily's name where I had absentmindedly doodled her first name with my last name. I glared at the paper with indignation. I was going about this like some little school girl. I was just a friend, she was a friend.

"Mew," Ash said from the floor as I wrote down a few more of my ideas for gifts for Lily. I frown and scratched each one out, vetoed for one reason or the next.

"I don't know what to get her," I told Ash. She licked her paw a few times before starting in on the fluff ball of a son of hers. I turned back to my paper and growled at it feral-like. I wanted to get her a gift that she would never forget, no matter how much time passed. I wanted it to make a lasting impression.

"Mew," Ash said as she jumped up on my desk. I didn't look up at her, just tilted my head back and stared at the ceiling. What do you get a girl that you can only ever be friends with, even if you fancied the dickens out of her?

"What do I get her? Something that shows her I care?" I murmured at the ceiling. Ash threw her baby into my lap, its tiny razor blade claws stabbing into my leg. I yelp slightly, trying to pull the mini-demon cat from my pants leg. I looked at Ash as I held the boy kitten I had named Asher. It all made perfect sense. Asher was the perfect gift for her. I believed in signs and Ash was obviously giving me a sign that Lily would make a perfect pet owner of Asher.

Gran looked at me in surprise when I waved the kitten in the air as I spoke. Still, she smiled almost as if she knew a secret no one else knew and agreed that it was fitting. Lily had, after all, stayed up with Ash while Asher was being born. She helped me find a box and some ribbon. We decided that I would send it out with the owl the morning of Christmas so Lily would have a wonderful Christmas surprise. I sent a house elf out to get a tiny green collar, the color of the dress, with a tiny silver bell, like the tiny silver buttons on the back of it. If nothing else, it would be my own private joke.

"Ready, Asher?" I murmured on Christmas morning as I headed to the window. It wasn't too early, just earlier than I would have preferred to have been awake. I know that most kids my age would still be all into the Christmas thing, but I just couldn't be that excited about Christmas aside from the ball.

My family had hosted these things ever few years even when I was too little to go to Hogwarts. It was an honor, as I was told, that we were who the Slytherin alumni looked to throw the ball. Every year, I hadn't exactly been impressed or shown much interest in the ball. This was the first year that I was thrilled about it. I glanced at the package in my hand, careful to make sure that there were air holes for the kitten before I attached the package to Ari, the hawk our family used to send only the most important items. I had secretly used it to send out Lily's invite, and I knew that Ari would get the kitten to Lily safely and quickly.

I watched as Ari took off in the slightly lightening sky of the morning before I headed to breakfast. My father glanced up from the paper hesitantly before he smiled and wished me a Happy Christmas. We never really exchanged gifts. After breakfast, we'd retreat for the day to our rooms, unwrap our presents at a leisurely pace and dress for the ball. The house elves usually brought up our midday meal.

I had my arms tucked behind my bed as I looked at the frosted window. I wondered idly if her parents would flip out over me giving her a kitten. It would have been awesome if James was deathly allergic and he swelled up like a giant balloon. I laughed to myself, thinking that it would be awesome to see him come to the ball tonight with his parents, guests of Lily, all puffy and red. I could imagine Lily's look of excitement over opening the box and seeing the kitten there. I grinned, knowing she probably had him in her arms right now. I felt something brush up against me and purr loudly, my hand went to my cheek, my fingers brushing the white fur.

"She'll take care of your son," I murmured needlessly. I knew Ash had intended Lily to have the kitten; she knew Lily would care for him.

I felt an odd sort of excitement well up in me as I got dressed for the ball. I looked up as my grandfather entered the room and looked at me with his cold, calculating gaze. I continued to struggle a little with my tie as he watched, knowing that it was the way he looked at me that made me feel uncomfortable. He didn't speak for what seemed like and insanely long time while I straightened my collar.

"You seem oddly excited about the ball for a change," he mentioned carefully. I glanced at him and nodded once. I groaned internally at the rule about speech and gesturing.

"I am excited," I said honestly. There was no sense on lying about it.

"Why?" he asked.

"I don't know, or understand why," I said. He looked at me and frowned.

"So, then, it's not Darla then?" he asked. I looked at him and shook my head.

"No sir," I replied. He didn't say anything for a while as I finished up.

"We should head down, the guest should be arriving shortly," he said and I know I grinned. He looked at me suspiciously but said nothing further.

Guests arrived by the hoards, and each time someone was announced, I would instinctively look up hoping it was Lily. I knew that it was bad. I should have been looking with grand anticipation for Darla but I couldn't help it. It wasn't Darla that I was after.

I felt the world come to a slamming halt when Lily and her family arrived. I was pleased when James and the younger boy didn't seem to be with them, my imagination giving them all sorts of horrible allergic reactions and such. I watched as Lily came down the stairs, her dress looking as perfect as I imagined it would. Elena looked to where I was looking, both of us just a few feet from the bottom of the grand stair case. Lily glanced up and missed the last step, falling on her face.

I nearly laughed, not because she fell but because anyone who falls flat like she did would have gotten a laugh out of me. She fell like a piece of lumber, all without the cry of 'timber' from a lumberjack. I squashed my desire to laugh at her fall and instead hurried to her side and jerked her up by her arm. I glanced around but so few people were actually paying attention to anything.

"Are you ok?" I asked as I helped her stabilize on her feet. Girl or not, she really wasn't well versed on wearing those sort of dress heels. Even her extra inch or so didn't justify the death traps she had strapped to her fee.

"Yeah," Lily said quickly as her face turned bright red. I grinned and nodded. I could tell that she was mortified, and her parents were right there. I dropped my grip on her arm, certain she had regained her balance.

"Watch that last step, it's a long one," I teased lightly, trying to make her more comfortable. "I think I saw the first years congregating over by the ice sculpture."

"We'll be mingling," Lily's dad told her before wandering off, disappearing in the crowd. Lily looked at me as if she had something more to say but she clamped her mouth shut and wobbled over towards her friends. I looked back at Elena and shrugged.

"What a strange little girl," Elena said. She laughed. "Not that Darla isn't strange, too. It must be something about their class. I think the lot of them are just plain… odd."

"Speaking of Darla, where is she?" I asked trying to sound interested. Elena shrugged.

"Probably shoving her face with sweets," Elena said. She laughed. "That one, I swear, I don't know where she gets her appetite from."

"Surely it's not all bad," I said. Elena raised an eyebrow at me.

"I'm surprised that you aren't working harder to get out of this arrangement. We both know you can't stand my little sister, and I can't say that I blame you. She's so annoying," Elena said. She looked at me, but I was looking back at the first years. "Scorpius, did you hear a word I said?"

"Huh?" I asked as I looked back at her. I made a face. "Yeah, I heard you. I'm not going to bother. My grandfather isn't an easily swayed man when he's got it in his mind to do something and he's determined that I am going to marry your sister once she graduates from Hogwarts."

"You sound like you're talking about a business transaction," Elena teased me. I laughed.

"It is a business transaction," I reminded her. Elena nodded and spotted a friend of hers.

"I'll catch you later?" She asked as she had already started away from me. I nodded, holding my cup as I scanned the first year students again. From the outside, anyone could surmise that I was looking for Darla, but in honesty it was another first year student that my eyes sought out. I saw my grandfather slip out on the portico and I hesitated, knowing he wasn't one to step outside, even when he lit up his pipe. I scanned the crowd a few more times, unable to locate either Lily nor her two friends. I headed toward the door, thinking maybe a few of the first year students were congregating outside. It was getting a little stuffy.

I pushed open the door, stopping just outside of the door. My grandfather and Lily were standing there, face to face. Lily looked positively terrified, this ancient man towering over her. Granddad had Lily by the arm, and not in a friendly way. His eyes were flashing warning to her and she was trembling in his hand. Panic welled up in me, unknown and possibly undeserved.

"What's going on out here?" I demanded as I stepped further out onto the portico. Lily looked at me, obviously frightened but still trying to be brave. I wanted to my grandfather's throat out suddenly for touching her, even in a threatening manner… especially in a threatening manner. Granddad looked back at me and dropped Lily's arm just as quick as he changed his expression to cool and unperturbed.

"Nothing," Lucius said forcing a smile at me. The smile was all wrong, more so than ever.

"Lily?" I asked. Lily glanced at my grandfather quickly but shook her head.

"Nothing," Lily said quickly.

"Don't stay out here too long," Granddad said as he entered the manor, leaving the two of us on the patio. I was really concerned about her, her bottom lip pinned mercilessly between her teeth. She turned and started to walk away from me, to head back inside when I reached out and gripped her arm gently in my hand to stop her.

"What just happened?" I asked quietly as I looked down at her upturned face. I could see the fear in her eyes, the uncertainty written on her face.

"Nothing," Lily replied quickly. She looked away from me, over the snowy gardens. Her arm was still lightly in my hand, not really holding her to me more than she wanted to be. At any point, she could have broken my grip. I knew she was lying to me. That didn't look like 'nothing'. That looked like 'something' and if he hurt her, there would be hell to pay. One way or another, I would make him pay.

"You can't lie to me, Lils," I told her gently.

"Your grandfather just wants me to stay away from you," Lily said simply. I frowned. That wasn't exactly what I had expected and I dropped her arm in shock.

"He's not the boss of me," I told her as I recovered from the initial shock. Lily shrugged but didn't look back at me. I scratched the back of my head for a moment, thinking. She obviously didn't want to talk about her little encounter with my grandfather. I decided a better tactic was to change the subject completely "Hey, did you get my furry little Christmas gift?"

"Yes," Lily said as her face suddenly lit with happiness and excitement. I grinned, happy that her reaction was ten times better than I expected. I wasn't even sure that she would really want the kitten, and it could have been a disastrous distraction technique. "Oh, he's perfect Score, he really is. I couldn't have asked for a better present. I love him."

"I'm glad you like him," I told her simply.

"You were behind this dress, weren't you?" Lily asked uncertainly. I grinned at her but said nothing, at first.

"I don't know what you mean," I said as I tried to suppress his grin. I failed, which was a shame because I kind of liked the idea of being a secret admirer to her. I froze a moment, wondering if I was her secret admirer. I didn't have time to ponder that. Lily threw her arms around me, catching him off guard.

"You are the best kind of friend," Lily said hugging me tightly. I could smell her shampoo and feel her arms around me. Instinctively, my own arms would not remain at my sides and I found them encircling her with such ease it should have frightened me.

"I'm glad you like it," I confessed. "I just wanted to make sure that there was nothing keeping you from coming to the Slytherin Ball."

"Thank you," Lily said still in my arms.

"You're freezing," I realized after a minute. She was shivering slightly and her skin was cool. She had left her cloak inside, apparently. I pulled her closer. "We ought to get you back inside."

"I'm supposed to be chaperoning Shale and Kate," Lily said. I shook my head at her, thinking that she was a far better friend to them then they were to her.

"I won't have you catching your death at my grandfather's manor to baby sit them," I told her.

"Ok," Lily said. I know she was waiting for me to release her because at first I was expecting the same, but my body refused what my mind told it was best. I could let her go, not quite yet. I glanced up and saw a sprig of wild mistletoe growing in the arch of where we were standing. I grinned. "What?"

"Mistletoe," I replied to her, nodding at the plant. She looked up, her face suddenly a little rosier, though I couldn't be sure if she was blushing or cold..

"Oh," Lily said.

"Well, it would be bad luck not to," I said suddenly very bold feeling as I put my hands on either side of her face. "The things friends will do for other friends, just to keep the bad luck away." Lily grinned nervously at me but closed her eyes. I could feel my heart strumming in my chest, faster than the beat of a humming bird's wings. There was a lot going on inside, this aching twisty feeling that seemed to want to plague me. I took a deep breath and pressed my mouth against hers. I didn't know how long was a proper kiss so I counted to ten and released her. I released her completely and she seemed a little unstable but before I could move to balance her, she seemed to pull herself together.

"Gee, what a good friend you are, indeed," Lily teased me and she headed back inside, her cheeks rosy, though it was undeterminable from the cold or the kiss. She glanced back at me with a shy sort of smile before she disappeared inside. I licked my lip, a slight residue still present.

She tasted like cherries.


	7. Everything In Between

A/N: Ok, so technically, to follow along with SLP, I should now skip ahead to Lily's third year (Scorpius' Fifth) but what fun is that, especially when SO much happened during that time… Sorry it's taken me FOREVER to get this written. I took like… two/three months off (or so it seems). This chapter was a little awkward to write, since I had to use flashbacks from the original to figure out what went on during this time. I might have to go back and change some things, but all in all… here it is. The next chapter will come out a lot quicker than this one, I promise. I'm already writing it in my head.

Disc.: Creation is a start. Manipulation is divine.

* * *

Everything In Between

I knew that nothing good could ever come from my grandfather summoning me to his chambers when he did. I walked slowly, already certain of what I would say to him about this whole arranged marriage thing. Ok, so I didn't LOVE Lily, not yet, but I could see myself liking her enough to want to see where things would go with her. I wanted a stay of execution, if you will, a chance. He looked up at me from his desk, his look cold and hard.

"Scorpius, your grandmother mentioned to me…" he started as I barely had a chance to sit at the chair he had indicated at me.

I fought him tooth and nail, not wanting to let him win, but Lucius Malfoy wasn't a man that others said 'no' to. I could feel him breaking me down, piece by piece, until there was nothing left for me to use against him. There was nothing left in me to stand up to him against. In the end, I hung my head and walked away, knowing that he had won. I was, still, betrothed to Darla Goyle.

When I returned to school, it was with the knowledge that the kind thing was to just let Lily go. Kind to me, kind to her, I really should have put some serious distance between the two of us. Instead, I found myself drawn to her, hanging out with her whenever I got the chance. I was with Darla, even though I hadn't admitted it to Lily yet. I felt myself constantly setting the boundaries, playfully, so not to hurt Lily.

"You're like the little sister I never wanted," I teased her all the time. She'd laugh.

"Like I need any more older-brothers, Score," I'd hear her reply time and time again. I knew how much she liked me. I could tell by the way I'd sometimes catch her grinning at me. It didn't help matters that Damon pointed it out that I was attracting the first year girls like flies to honey.

"You're a good friend," I had been saying for ages to her, hoping to drill it into her thick skull that she and I could only be friends. No matter how much I tried to tell her, no matter what I said, I knew from that look that she was falling for me. I knew that I needed to tell her, tell her about my relationship with Darla, but I just couldn't. I probably should have tried harder, but something in me didn't want to. I knew that Lily has respect and would step away from our friendship, even if just slightly, the minute she found out that Darla and I were betrothed.

"Hey, Lils," I said. I had left Darla gossiping with her older sister, my friend Elena, who was making eyes at Damon. Lily was down by the lake on one of the first nice days of spring. She was tucked between the high roots of the tree. She looked up at me and grinned as I sat. "What're you up to?"

"Nothing much," she said as she continued to link daisies. Asher was swatting at the flowers as she secured them. She laughed at him, her laughter light compared to the sometimes overly loud and crass laughter that spilled from Darla's mouth. I liked Lily's laugh.

"Daisy chain?" I asked with a grin. I nudged her shoulder with my own. She playfully pushed me back and continued to link.

"So you know, I think your rule that I'm too young for you is stupid," she said suddenly. I looked at her completely dumbfounded. I knew she kind of liked me, like a friend, but these words, together, were that of more than friends. I immediately felt like crap, like I was betraying her friendship by not being more honest with her. She looked at me almost with shy expectation. I looked at her uncomfortably.

"Lils, you know I like you, right? You must know that I do," I said slowly, clearly. I didn't want her to think that I didn't like her, I just knew that I couldn't lead her on to think that this friendship could be anything more than friendship. Lily laughed and nodded. She seemed like she was taking this well enough, that she was well aware of why she and I could only be friends, even if she really didn't know the real reason why we could only be friend.

"Don't worry about it, Score," Lily said quickly. She kissed me on the mouth quickly and crowned me with the daisies. "I won't always be seen as too young by you. I can wait." She stood up and looked at me with a smile. I was frozen to my spot in shock. I hadn't expected that, or the jolt of the feelings that electrocuted through me suddenly. I knew it was beyond time. I had to tell her before she wasted another moment on me.

"Lils, wait," I called to her as she scooped Asher up. "I wanted to talk to you a bit more."

"Can't," she called waving and laughing. "I'm to meet with Professor Perkins at his request." I would have chased her down, but I was still frozen in shock. She had kissed me. Lily had kissed me.

I shook the fuzzy thoughts from my head, trying to clear my mind. It, apparently, didn't matter how many times I had told her, really told her that first year and third years had no business being more than friends. I sighed. Kissing her shouldn't have felt like that. It should have been like kissing Gran or my mother. It shouldn't have caught me so off guard. I finally pulled myself up off the ground, and headed into the castle. It was as if my body needed the dank air of the dungeon to clear it of all that was sweet and Lily-like.

"Um… Scorp… are do you need to tell us something?" Damon snickered. I looked at him in shock, knowing damn well that he couldn't know what had just happened.

"No, why?" I said in an almost demanding way. He raised an eyebrow at me but nodded to my head.

"The crown," Damon simply said and I reached up. Oh. I had forgotten that Lily had crowned me.

"It's nothing," I promised as I pulled them from my head. "Look, can we talk? I've got a bit of a problem."

The two of us headed into our dormitory quickly, a look sending our other dorm mates scurrying out. Damon looked at me expectantly and waited. I tossed the crown on my bed and sighed loudly. We remained in silence. How did I tell him this without coming off as a prat? I mean, I was already feeling pretty awful about the fact that I was certain that I had led Lily on by not being more firm. Sure, I told her that we could only ever be friends, but I was positive my actions may have been contradictory.

"What is it?" Damon prompted, I suppose in case I had forgotten I had asked to talk to him.

"Lily," I said. He laughed.

"Of course," Damon said.

"She kissed me," I said. Damon hesitated, his face slightly shocked.

"She… kissed you? What did you do?" Damon asked.

"I tried to get her to stay, I wanted to straighten her out. Put her in her place and all," I said. I had, yeah. I tried, but she had to go see the professor.

"This is a mess," Damon said.

"I know," I agreed. "What do I do?"

"Look, I know that you don't really like the idea, but you're going to have to be more public about your relationship with Darla. It's time," Damon said. "You can't be friends with Lily, with the way that she feels about you. The feelings aren't mutual, are they?"

"No, of course not," I lied quickly.

"You just need to be more forward with her, make her see that this thing she wants, you and her, can never be," Damon said.

I found Lily sitting alone in the library a few days later, just before the Easter holiday. She was staring out the window, doodling on a piece of parchment that was probably supposed to be an essay that she was working on. I headed directly towards her, fully intending on telling her about Darla and me. I had purpose in my eyes, my resolve strong.

Then… she looked at me, her face blossomed into a broad grin, and my resolve crumbled around me. I sat down across from her, not wanting to be too close. She looked at me, watched me with her wide eyes and I felt guilty.

"Scorpius, what brings you to the library on the eve of our Easter holiday?" Lily asked me with quiet mocking. She smiled again, the act punctuating something in me that I couldn't readily put my finger on.

"Lily," I said seriously.

"Uh-oh," she said in mock concern. "I'm in trouble, aren't I?"

"Yeah," I said.

"Serious, huh?" she asked as she watched me. She placed her quill down and gave me her undivided attention. I swallowed nervously.

"This is about that day by the lake," I said nervously. Her smile didn't change.

"Oh?" she said. I could almost hear the hint of excitement in her voice, and I knew I had to be the edge of reason.

"Look, Lily. First years and third years… we just can't… you know?" I stumbled suddenly, uncomfortable with the way her eyes were on me. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I like having you as a friend, but you're really just too young."

"Too young," Lily said as she bit her lip, her smiled faded from her face.

"I just don't want to lead you on, Lily," I said quickly. That much was true. "You can't kiss me again, it's just… too weird. Friends can't go around kissing each other, especially when there are two years between us." She smirked.

"Ok," she said. I was surprised at how well she took it.

"Ok?" I confirmed slowly. She smiled and nodded once.

"Ok," she said. I laughed nervously and stood.

"So, will I see you when we all return for Easter holiday?" I asked her suddenly. I mentally kicked myself, one moment pushing her away, the next pulling her back.

"Try to keep me away," she promised and she laughed.

Easter had been the mess I had expected it to be. Darla and I spent the entire time together, sometimes spending hours and hours just talking. Darla liked to hold hands, and she had taken to kissing me. I laughed the first time she had snuck a kiss, thinking that it must be something among the first years. The girls, at least, seemed to be bolder and aggressive than I ever remembered them being when I was a first year.

"What are you thinking?" Darla asked me as we sat together on the train back to Hogwarts. I looked at her, pulling my eyes from the scenery that sped past us at an alarming rate. My heart quickened at the thought that I would see Lily after a week a part. It bothered me that I was that excited about seeing her.

"Um," I said. I couldn't very well tell Darla that I was thinking about her dorm mate.

"It's that potions' paper isn't it?" Darla asked me sympathetically. I smiled and didn't answer her. I had used that as an excuse to pull myself away from her a few times when her laughter grated too much on my nerves. "Or, it is something else?" Darla asked me cautiously. I swallowed nervously and forced my smile to stay in place.

"I think I'm just a bit… tired," I lied. I swept Darla's hair behind her ear.

Darla wouldn't let it drop, even when we were standing in the common room, waiting for the rest of Slytherin to return to the castle. She was playing the concerned girlfriend role very well, but there was an edge to her voice when she pushed, as if she knew it was something more. I had to shut her up about it, tired of the third degree that she was giving me about it all. I smiled at her, cupping her cheek.

"Silly girl, you worry too much," I said in what oddly came out in a breathy voice. She looked at me, excitement wild in her eyes. I leaned forward and kissed her quite properly, kissed her probably more properly than any first year had yet been kissed. I smiled at her for the moment as I pulled away, my eyes momentarily looking away. They fell on Lily Potter and I could very nearly hear the gears to her heart come to a grinding halt. I nearly opened my mouth to say something, but she whipped around in that brief moment, a flash of her dark auburn hair, and she was gone through the portrait hole.

It was weird how much of the back of Lily Potter I saw after that. I knew she was avoiding me, and there was nothing that I could do about it. If I chased her down, if I explained, it would just hurt her more. I did Lily a favor by allowing her the distance she needed. I knew that she would be happier, one day, if I could only keep away from her. I threw myself head first into my relationship with Darla, focusing only on the good and ignoring the stuff that bothered me: the stuff that reminded me that Darla Goyle was no Lily Potter.

I figured after the summer, Lily would have gotten over her infatuation with me. It still hurt, though, to have her avoid me. Then came the Christmas Ball, held in the Artemis Manor. Darla and I had danced, enjoying our time together. We were all another year older. I was so certain that surely, by now, Lily and I could be friends. I watched her and waited, until she had ditched her two friends and headed out onto the portico alone. She looked at me in shock, as if she had written me off as dead and I had appeared before her in ghost form.

"Lily, please, can we talk?" I asked her. She raised her eye brow at me, her arms crossed. I guess her lack of words were my indication that I should do the talking. "I'm sorry I never told you about my situation with Darla. I should have. I was wrong. Trust me, if it could be any other way… if it could have been anyone else…"

She looked at me in disgust and shook her head.

"I don't want to talk about you and Darla," she said. Her voice had an edge and she shook her head again.

"I want to be friends with you Lily," I told her. She looked at me with such hurt in her eyes and she ran away from me.

I thought about her that night, laying across my bed in my grandparent's house. Ash was off somewhere, being her ornery self, and I heard the sound of a tapping at my window. I glanced over, half expecting to see Darla's family owl, but to my surprise, our golden hawk was there, rapping on the leaded glass. I jumped from the bed, ignoring the cold air on my bare chest as I flung the window open. The hawk soared in, dropping a parcel on my bed. I closed the window as the hawk soared out and headed to the bed.

Resting there, wrapped in brown paper, was the box that held the gift I had sent Lily. It looked as if she had carved "Return to Sender" into the paper. It had torn in a few places, ink staining the rips. I frowned as I picked it up. She hadn't even opened it to see if she'd like it. She must have just carved the words and sent it on its way back to me. I was irritated. I had spent the better part of my Christmas holiday looking for the perfect gift, a last token to bury the hatchet so she and I could be friends.

I knew I was wrong all those times I had held her hand under the table, all those times I would steal a hug from her, holding her a little tighter than I needed to. Seeing her return my gift unopened was the final nail in my heart. She was done with me, done with our friendship.

As much as it bothered me, I really did a wonderful job ignoring Lily as much as she ignored me. Between classes and Darla and Quidditch, I really didn't have time to think about the friend I had lost in Lily Potter. It was only on the nights when I'd sneak out to the kitchens and she'd be curled up in a chair asleep with a book, those nights were the worst because I couldn't erase her from my mind.

"Darla, what's wrong?" I asked though I mentally calculated the days. Darla was holding her stomach and weakly waved me over.

"Womanly problems," she moaned. "I've got to go to the hospital wing."

"Ah," I said and I accompanied her. Once or twice Lily would be nearby with her friends, Darla's other dorm mates, and I swear she looked concerned for Darla. I knew that Lily wasn't exactly Darla's favorite person, and part of that had to do with me, but Lily's concern made me only feel that much more guilty. I couldn't explain it.

Darla was like that every month, three to four days, she'd be laid up in the hospital wing, complaining of womanly problems. At first, I was worried that there was something wrong with her, then I began to think that she may have exaggerated her condition. I didn't see any other girls, her sister included, holed up for days every month. I made the mistake pointing that out to Darla once that neither Kate nor Lily seemed to have that problem. Darla rounded on me, her hands on her hips and a sneer cursing her face.

"Lily! She's not even been through this, so no, you wouldn't see her having this problem," Darla sneered. I knew that there was more that Darla wanted to say, but someone had interrupted us and I couldn't have been more thankful.

I apologized to Darla later for being so cold and cruel, and spent an insane amount of time with her in a broom closet, our arms wrapped firmly around each other. I was doing much better by the end of the summer before my fifth year. Lily's face only graced my mind late at night when I was alone and couldn't sleep. I played with my prefect's badge on the eve of September first, trying to nod off. It was hard to forget about Lily on this day above all others. I absentmindedly fingered the cold, silver badge as I stared at the ceiling.

Today, Lily turned thirteen.


	8. Whispering

A/N: Thanks to those of you who read and reviewed the last chapter. As promised, these are coming out quicker than the previous. I hope that you enjoy and that I am keeping true to the story. Thanks, again, for reading and reviewing. --Edited... fixed the big mess in the middle there, sorry. Not sure what happened there... just a whole lot of mess in the middle of a sentence... easy fix... thanks for the heads up...--

Disclaimer: Just manipulating premade characters.

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Whispering

My dad was quiet as we headed to our apparition room, used only by us to apparate. I didn't say anything as he straightened his tie and then offered me his arm. I took it, thinking that I really couldn't wait until I was old enough to apparate without any help. I still had two more years before I was even old enough to test. He looked at me, approvingly, my silver prefect badge glinting in the light, perfectly polished.

My dad had been so proud of me when I received my badge and proudly shared the news with his colleagues. I had forgotten that Harry Potter and he worked in the same area, and was surprised when Dad brought home the news that James was a prefect too. How I hated James Potter, which is surprising that I'd like his sister that much more. They were, truly, nothing alike. Not that I could see. I knew I had made a face when I heard about it over dinner, and the only person who seemed genuinely pleased with my reaction was my grandfather.

I wasn't paying attention when we landed at King's Crossing in their apparition room, and I stumbled slightly. My dad's tight grip on my arm was the only thing that kept me from falling. He raised an eyebrow at me but didn't say anything. He released my arm and I righted myself. He paused a moment, glancing at me, and then smiled slightly.

"Try to have a good year," he said simply. Then he was gone. I was used to these brief good-byes and I headed out of the room and onto the platform. I glanced around for Damon, trying to avoid Darla and Elena. I glanced to the Slytherin car to see Lily standing there with James, and I automatically made my way over towards her.

"I feel so dirty for having gone in there," James said shivering. Lily hit him on the shoulder. "Hey, you can't hit me. I'm a prefect."

"I can still torment you," Lily laughed. "Prefect status doesn't scare me."

"Good to know, Lils. Maybe you won't continue to run off on me," I said coming up beside her. "I made prefect." Lily looked at me slowly, almost as if she wanted to groan at my sudden appearance.

"Congrats, Malfoy," Lily said crossing her arms slightly. It was not a good sign that she was calling me by my surname. Lily was slightly stand-offish, a complete change of personality from the moments before I came up and interrupted.

"How's Asher? How was your birthday?" I asked her as I ignored James. I knew James was probably boiling in anger. He hated to be left out of things, and he hated me. I was almost tempted to push him a bit more but Lily didn't seem pleased to see me, and the last thing I wanted to do was fight with her older brother.

"Both good," Lily said in a clipped tone. She looked around, almost hunting for an excuse to abandon us, and saw Shale and Kate standing on the far end of the platform. "If you don't mind, I see Shale and Kate. I want to show them the compartment. Catch you later, James."

I watched as Lily headed away quickly, rejoining her friends. I cringed as Shale embraced Lily, almost jealous that he had his arms around Lily. It didn't make sense to me. I had Darla. I shuddered involuntarily.

"I want you to stay away from my sister, Malfoy," James threatened me quietly. I pulled my eyes away from her and looked at him incredulously. "She has a boyfriend now and is finally happy. Leave her alone."

"Or what, Potter?" I challenged, hiding my surprise at this new information. Lily had a boyfriend? When did this happen? Who was he? I steadied my racing thoughts. It didn't make sense that I should get upset by this. After all, Lily was a sweet girl, and I couldn't have her. She should be happy. I just couldn't get the thought out of my head that this guy, this boyfriend of hers, no matter who he was he was never going to be good enough for Lily. No one was.

"Or else," James sneered at me, pulling me back from my reverie, and stalked away towards his cousin with the bushy hair. I nearly laughed as the whistle blew and everyone started to mill onto the train. I found Damon and Elena hiding out in a compartment and I tossed myself in one of the spare seats.

"Where's Darla?" Damon asked me. Elena snickered.

"I've not seen her in quite…"

"Scorpy!" Darla squealed as she threw open the door and jumping into my lap, interrupting my sentence. We had spent the better part of the summer together, as we probably would until the end of time. Her enthusiasm was slightly annoying, though it did feel good to see that at least one third year student was thrilled to see me. I smiled at her.

"Good to see you, too, Darla," I said as she wrapped her arms around me.

"Remember we have a prefect meeting in like two minutes," Elena reminded me as she and Damon made a hasty retreat from our carriage.

"I'm glad we're alone," Darla whispered as her mouth reached for mine. I grinned and complied. I couldn't pretend that she wasn't good at what she did, but kissing her sometimes made me long to have another pair of lips attached to mine. I froze for a second, the thought crossing my mind, before I shoved those eyes and her face from it.

"I really do have to go, Darla," I said after a few minutes, pulling out of her deathlike grip. She pouted but climbed free of my lap.

"I hope that you'll get to spend more time with me later," Darla said as she watched me check my reflection on the plate glass window.

"We will," I promised. "After I do patrol of the train corridors and what not." Darla's face bloomed into a smile and I left the compartment. I glanced at the random compartments as I headed towards the prefect's carriage, seeing Kate and Shale cozying up in one of them, talking. I didn't need to see who they were talking to, I already knew.

I went to the prefect meeting, dutifully, really not wanting to be there, listening to our head boy and girl talk. I didn't pay as close attention as I probably should have, but I knew Elena would update me sometime later. I wasn't surprised to see Rose, James' cousin, sitting next to him, donning the silver badge as proud as she could be. If those two weren't cousins, I would have suggested that they get married. I had heard that they were best friends, and I thought that it was weird. Damon was my best friend, the only one I ever came close to telling the whole truth about anything.

We were released some time later and I wandered back along the corridor towards where I had seen Shale and Kate. I glanced in the window of their compartment to see the cozy couple intently looking at a framed picture of someone. I slid the door open as Kate went to hand Lily back the frame.

"His father came into town and I met him through our parents," Lily said grinning. She went to take the picture back at that very moment that I had opened the door. Her face went dark immediately and she scowled.

"What have we here?" I asked as I intercepted the picture. I held it in my hand, looking down at this smiling boy that looked way too old for her, in my opinion. Decked out in Durmstrang gear, he had a hint of a shadow along his jaw, it clenched in a brilliant smile. I hated him. I didn't know him, and already I hated him.

"Give that back," Lily demanded.

"Mind yourself, Lils. I'm a prefect," I reminded her as I crossed my arms, the picture still in my hand. I didn't want to give it back, but I certainly didn't want to look at the boy that had stolen young Lily's heart. I looked at Shale and Kate, both of which were staring at me with shock. "Scram." Kate and Shale scrambled out of the compartment quicker than I thought possible, leaving Lily and I alone. Lily crossed her arms to match my pose as I sat down across from her.

"Your being a prefect doesn't scare me, Malfoy," she said crossly.

"Look, you spent the better part of last year avoiding me like the plague," I said as I lowered my voice against her agitated one. "You actually ran away from me at the ball last year and sent back my Christmas gift."

"Ok," Lily said disinterested as she held out her hand to me. "Can I have my picture back?"

"Isn't that cute," I said in a condescending way as I looked at it. I, personally, didn't think it was cute at all. In fact, I didn't know this man, but I hated him. "This is the boyfriend, is it?"

"Yes, my boyfriend," Lily said lowering her voice and leaning forward. "Just as you have Darla to keep you warm at night, Taryn did a damn good job bringing out the best in me."

I looked at her uncertainly, holding the picture. I hadn't expected that to come from her mouth, nor did I know what she meant by it. Certainly she didn't mean what I hoped she didn't mean. I held the picture out to her, her hand closing on the frame. I didn't even resist, having felt almost stung by her words. I stood, frowning involuntarily at her. I was surprised to see Lily avert her eyes from me, as if I didn't matter. Her gaze fell on the boy in the picture and she slightly smiled. She stood and reached to her bag, stowing the frame in its canvas confines. Retracting her hand, she knocked the top of her cat's basket, the fur-ball springing from the wicker prison.

"Why are you so mad at me, Lily?" I asked her despite myself. Surely she couldn't be mad about Darla. It wasn't even like I had control over that.

"I'm not," Lily lied. I smirked. She was a terrible liar.

"I know you better than that," I reminded her quietly, my eyes on her face. "Ever since the end of first year, you've been distant and then you avoided me all year last year. What's the deal? What did I do?"

"What did you do?" Lily taunted angrily. I nearly stepped back at the harshness to her words. Her eyes held mine and I held my ground, ignoring the hurt and fire in the depth of her eyes.

"Yeah, what did I do?" I asked. Lily sat back down sighing, glancing out the window in what looked like defeat. I moved toward her, wanting nothing more than to comfort her. Asher raked his claw across my cheek, the sting almost immediate. "What did you do; train him to attack?"

"No," Lily said as she stroked the cat.

"He's more of a demon than Ash," I grumbled as I dabbed at my cheek with a handkerchief.

"Asher's not a demon," Lily snapped as she scooped him up in her arms. "You scared him, that's all. I think you're done talking and you should go."

"You didn't answer my question," I said. I wasn't letting the conversation end that easily. This was the most that she had said to me in over a year and a half, even if her words were filled with anger and hurt. It was something. The door slid open, and I nearly turned to tell whomever was interrupting to scram, but my eyes fell on Darla and I bit back my demand. She looked at me, her hands on her hips, and she looked a little annoyed.

"That's where you ran off to," she cooed to me in her fake-sounding lovey-dovey voice that I couldn't stand. "Lily did Scorpius tell you that his grandfather took us on a cruise?"

"That's lovely," Lily said sarcastically as she glared at the two of us. I wanted to reach out and tell Lily that I had been sick the entire time and hadn't spent even a little bit of time with Darla, to explain that it was a family vacation that meant nothing but Lily's eyes were ice cold as she looked at me. "I really think I will go visit my brothers."

"Yuck, Gryffindors," Darla said. "How do you even manage to survive that all summer?"

"If you'll excuse me," Lily said pushing through the two of us, Asher still in her arms. I minded his claws while rivaling in the fact that she had touched my whole right side with her body as she brushed by me. I could smell her lovely scent assaulting on my senses and my heart started to race despite the commonsense my head screamed at the rest of my traitorous body.

"I heard she had to work all summer," Darla whispered to me loudly, certainly so that Lily could hear. "Imagine a pauper Slytherin."

"Excuse me?" Lily snapped as she turned around. I took an instinctive step back, Lily's free hand was clenched as if she was doing everything in her power not to pull her wand on us and hex us into next week. "Did you say something?"

"Oh, no, not at all," Darla said quickly. She forced a smile. "See you in the dorm room."

Lily made a face, one of contempt and anger, as she turned and stalked out of the car, slamming the door behind her. I looked at Darla, her face already turned up at mine. The falsely sweet innocence bothered me more than usual. I couldn't believe that Darla was that bitchy to gossip like that. I mean, I had heard from a few people that Lily had worked at her uncle's store for a bit of the summer, but having been inside Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes, it couldn't have felt that much like work.

"You know, Darla, that's really not very Malfoy of you," I chastised. Darla looked up at me with even more innocence, but I could see that she knew I meant business. If she was going to be my wife, a Malfoy by marriage, she was going to have to learn some manners. I wouldn't be married to a spiteful woman.

"I didn't mean anything by it," Darla promised, but I knew she was lying. Not that she was bad at lying, but because I knew Darla could be a spiteful girl sometimes, I gave her a look and steered her back towards our compartment where hopefully I could have a few minutes to collect my thoughts.

Elena and Damon were chatting when I walked in, both glancing up as I sat down, Darla on my heels. It was increasingly annoying to always have her under foot but I had yet to find a tactful way to ditch her for any serious length of time. Elena and I had discussed this numerous times, and we both agreed that perhaps this year, with my being a prefect with duties and all, I would have an excuse. Granted, the excuse didn't save me from having to sit with her the rest of the ride to Hogwarts.

Darla was right behind me when I bounded off the train and I gave her a quick peck on the cheek before I sent her ahead to find a horseless carriage to the school while I helped round up the first years for their traditional boat ride to the castle. Darla was reluctant but she complied and I sighed a breath of relief before I started calling to order the first years that were in my general area. I saw James and Rose trying to get a few rather weepy first years to calm down and I hoped that they were not Slytherin.

Once the first years were in the boats with Hagrid, Elena and I climbed into one of the last two horseless carts that would take us up to the school. I groaned as James and Rose sat across from us. Neither they nor I looked too thrilled about it and poor Elena just stared out the window as we four made the long ride up to the school grounds. I was the first to jump free of the carriage just moments after it stopped and Elena and I headed into the great hall with the other prefects as everyone was getting ready to sit down.

I took my seat next to Darla and glanced up and down the table. Lily looked right at me and took a seat on the same side, a good ten or so people between us. I was disappointed that I couldn't covertly watch her while we ate dinner. The thought caught me off guard. It was weird, in my mind, that I wanted to watch Lily eat and then it came to me. I didn't want to just watch Lily eat, I wanted to watch her. A funny feeling swirled in my stomach, one that I thought I had extinguished for the auburn haired girl.

After the sorting and dinner, we were dismissed to our common rooms. I insisted that Darla walk with Damon while I dealt with the first years. Eager to change her clothes, Darla did not resist for once. I was thrilled to see her go. My eyes scanned the throngs of people heading out of the great hall and there, by the door, Professor Perkins had accosted Lily and pulled her out of the masses queuing up to leave. I shuffled the first years out the door closest to them, but with the din that accompanied the group I was unable to hear what they were talking about.

I would have loved to have hung back and walked with Lily to the common room, but my duties were to Darla and to the first years. Elena walked them down to the dungeon and to the portrait hole that led to our dungeon. The woman in the portrait looked at me and then at Elena, her eyes scrutinizing. She turned away from Elena and focused wholly on me.

"You may choose the password," she told me. I glanced momentarily at Elena who shrugged.

"Can I use a phrase?" I asked and the woman in the portrait nodded, the wheels in my head turning and spinning. If Lily wouldn't listen to reason, if she wouldn't talk to me, if she insisted on avoiding me… Then it hit me, I knew the perfect phrase. "Ok, the phrase is 'You can't avoid me forever'."

"Excellent," the portrait woman said clapping her hands. "Surely to remind all Slytherins that our lesser beings can't avoid our leading hand forever. Very good, Mr. Malfoy."

"Sure," I said shrugging, not caring that it was being misinterpreted that way.

"Remember, Scorpius, you have castle patrol tonight," Elena said waving as she slipped in to the portrait hole. "I'll spread the password."

Being on castle duty was boring, at least it was for me that first night. I didn't encounter anyone other than other prefects wandering about. Everyone else was tucked in their common rooms shortly after we arrived. Glancing at my watch, I headed back towards the Slytherin common room, eager to get into bed and out of these clothes. I was full and sleepy, and the warm bed beckoned me. As I turned the corner, I saw a lump of a child curled up on the floor, back to the wall, bum to the ground. She had her ankles crossed before her, her legs extended, and her arms were crossed in either annoyance or defiance. She looked my way, as if my footsteps had been loud and intruding, and she groaned, actually groaned, at the sight of me. I smirked.

"So, this is where you are," I said as I stood above her. I reached my hand out, offering her help up, but she rose without it. I was not surprised. She was still rather pissed at me.

"I don't know what the password is," Lily said simply. I grinned and leaned towards her to whisper the password in her ear and was rather put off when she just as quickly leaned away, as if I were vile or something. I made a face.

"I have to whisper it to you," I explained to her.

"Why? We're alone," she said. Suddenly her cheeks went bright red and my heart skipped a beat. We were alone and she was embarrassed by whatever connotation was implied by that. I grinned and she acted all flustered, rapidly speaking. "Go ahead, whisper it quickly." I leaned in a little more slowly this time, my mouth was so near her ear that I could see my breath causing the loose strands of her hair dance.

"You can't avoid me forever," I whispered deeply. She pulled away scowling.

"Just tell me the password so I can free Asher and go to bed," Lily said frowning. She looked even more angry, but there was something else, the way the heat remained in her cheeks. I didn't know what to think of that, but I shrugged, trying to come off as indifferent. I had tried to be her friend, I think I wanted to be more, and still she turned a cold shoulder. If friendship wasn't enough for her, who was I to keep trying?

"That is the password," I said in an overtly polite tone. "I got to choose the password and I figured that maybe if you hear that phrase enough, you'll finally understand that it's true."

I turned away from her and the picture portal opened, allowing me access. I stepped inside, ignoring the black cat that seemed to wait impatiently for his mistress. The portrait slammed closed behind me. I had given her the password, and my duty was done. I had a warm bed calling to me. I briefly kissed Darla good night and immediately to my dormitory, barely shutting the door before I loosened my tie and headed to bed.


	9. All Things Quidditch

A/N: Oh, wow… this chapter is insanely long. Sorry for that. I honestly could have gone on and on forever, but I did manage to find a good stopping point. But hey, hopefully you won't complain too much, huh? I am really trying not to do too much copy and pasting. You've probably already read it from Lily's-ish point of view. Same story with a different tense and POV… same story but different. Make sense? Hope you enjoy. Oh, and if anyone wants to know where we are at in the original, we are on chapter 8 (about half way through). So, I don't know how well I am doing at keeping it pretty even keel with the original. Oh, and random formatting code shouldn't be a problem this time around, I hope.

Disc.: Manipulating characters since late 2007.

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All Things Quidditch

I was up early that next morning, almost eager to start my day. I headed down to the common room to wait on Darla. I would have rather walked with Damon who waved as he passed me by, but I knew that I needed to face facts that I was stuck with Darla and I needed to make the best of it. The thought stuck in my head, almost as if it was suddenly a burden I could no longer carry. Darla was going to be my wife, and here I was thinking I was stuck with her. Maybe part of my unwillingness to give up Lily stemmed from my unhappiness at my arrangement. I shook my head, knowing that it couldn't be that simplistic. I knew, deep down, even if I would never admit it. I liked Lily.

Darla finally bound down the stairs, her hair perfect and her uniform well pressed. She smiled at me, and I knew that while I was not smitten with her, Darla was head over heels in love with me. I felt guilty that I couldn't love her back, not like that. The fact of the matter was if it hadn't been for the betrothal, I wouldn't have given Darla a second thought. Together, we walked along the halls, climbed the stairs, on our way to the great hall. Darla kept up an insane amount of talking, discussing things from her irritation at her roommates for being so bright eyed and cheery in the morning.

"That Lily, I swear," Darla said shaking her head in disgust. "How anyone could ever greet the day with so much… so… so much…"

"Exuberance?" I offered Darla as she tripped over her words. Darla looked at me and nodded.

"Yeah, it's just mind boggling," Darla continued without a beat. "And she's not even that special, though everyone makes her out to be. I mean, sure, she's Harry Potter's kid, but he's nothing special either. Right place at the right time, my mum always says."

"Mhmm," I replied politely as I listened to her rant on about the whole Potter clan. I didn't mind her disgruntled words about James or even that middle brother of theirs, Albus, but the minute Darla's criticism against Lily started to get nasty I spoke up. "Darla, you know. It's not very Slytherin to talk bad about other Slytherins."

"Oh, yeah," she said hesitantly. She paused and I rushed through the doors of the great hall. My eyes swept the room, landing on the Slytherin table. Damon and Lily were sitting there, talking. Both glanced at me, a guilty look on their faces. Damon instinctively leaned back as I turned and pushed the door open for Darla who looked pretty miffed that I had headed through and not held it for her.

"Swell," Darla muttered under her breath as we hurried to the table. I took the seat directly next to Lily and Darla looked like she was about to kill me. She made a noise, a mix between a snort and a grunt.

"Darla, here's your plate," I said immediately as I placed a plate on the other side of me, eager to have Darla sit down and quit hovering over me. I felt Lily cringe as my arm brush hers. Today was the perfect day to sit by her. Any other day, she would have excused herself to go somewhere, anywhere, else. Unfortunately, Lily had to stay put and wait for Professor Perkins to pass out our schedules, so she was stuck sitting next to me. We sat in silence for a moment, the awkwardness spreading out before us.

"Try outs are on Saturday," I reminded Damon as I grasped at anything to talk about. The silence was getting to me.

"I know," Damon said nodding. "I was just telling Lily that she ought to try out. I think she'd make one hell of a beater." I paused a second, frowning. Lily and Quidditch?  
"Isn't that dangerous?" Darla asked sweetly. I could see through her façade, as if she was really concerned for the well being of Lily, but I remained quiet.

"I think Lily can handle herself," Damon said laughing.

"So, you're thinking of trying out? Which position?" I asked curiously. At least there was some conversation going, even if I didn't think that Lily should be playing Quidditch.

"I was thinking beater, since it's always been a great source of release for me," Lily said simply, flatly. I hesitated, my eyes on her. Beater? That couldn't be right. She was too small, frail. The other beaters would snap her in half.

"Usually beaters are a bit larger, muscular," I said diplomatically. I figured, if she was going to try out, she should be in a position that was better match to her size. "Your size would be more fitting of a seeker or chaser."

"I'm trying out for beater," Lily said emotionless. She shoved a piece of bacon in her mouth and started to read the back of a cereal box, ending the conversation. I glanced at Damon, trying to see if he could talk some sense into the stubborn girl next to me, but he just grinned and shrugged. Lily looked up as Professor Perkins stopped behind her.

"Miss Potter, your schedules," he said. "I think I will need to add Miss Goyle to your services, seeing as how you didn't do as well as I expected Miss Goyle."

"I'm sorry professor," Darla said sweetly. "I will strive to do better. It was just womanly problem, you know?"

"Ah, well hopefully those problems will not keep you from classes," Professor Perkins said handing the schedule to Darla. He flipped through and pulled out two more schedules. "Mr. Malfoy, Mr. West, remember this year is your O.W.L.s and I know you will do your very best."

"Yes sir," we all said as we looked at their schedules. I had a decent course load, not too easy, not too challenging

"What electives are you taking?" Darla asked as she leaned across me, placing her hand on my thigh purposefully. I felt my body clench in a rather unusual way, not quite pleasure, not quite pain.

"Divination and Care of Magical Creatures," Lily said indifferently.

"I'm surprised you didn't take Muggle Studies," Darla said with a cruel twist to her face. Lily laughed as she stood suddenly. Damon and I both looked at her.

"You must forget," Lily said with a slight tone of sarcasm. "I am the anti-Slytherin. I'm practically raised like a muggle when I'm not here. See you in potions, Darla."

I watched as she walked towards the door, my eyes trained on her. Unexpectedly, she turned and headed towards James, her schedule in her hand. She talked briefly with him, smiling and being the bright and cheery Lily that I so dearly missed as my friend. It hit me then. More than these feelings that I had for her, I desperately missed having Lily as my friend. I watched her laugh with her brother, and I really missed the sound when she would laugh with me. I was pathetic.

Lily chatted with her brother for a bit more before she practically skipped out of the great hall, an easy smile on her face. It was then that I truly realized that I missed my friend Lily more than I missed the stolen opportunity at a future with the auburn haired girl.

That first week flew by in a blur. O.W.L. years had always been touted as tough, and they were not kidding when they said that. I didn't know exactly who 'they' were, but they were correct. I had tons of homework from each class, and I felt like I was already drowning. My silver lining was Quidditch tryouts on Saturday. I woke early, eager. I knew the captain, Malvo Flint, wouldn't dare let a great player like me go, but still I wanted to do my best and prove my Malfoy worth.

I had to say that I was surprised when Darla stood near me, trying out for the team. I didn't ask her about it but I hadn't taken her as genuinely interested in playing Quidditch. I wondered how much of her interest had to do with the fact that Lily was trying out. Darla looked up at me, grinning, and I smiled back at her as Flint appeared before the long lines of Slytherins trying out, clipboard in hand.

"Alright, Slytherins," Malvo Flint said as he entered the Quidditch pitch. He carried a clipboard as he paced back and forth in front of the large group of us. I watched him as he checked the names off of the players. He eyed each of us, barely hesitating on me. I was probably a shoo-in. I watched as Malvo stopped in front of Lily frowning at her. "How old are you?"

"I'm a third year," Lily said calmly. I watched them carefully.

"Kind of runty, aren't you?" He asked. I was shocked that he was almost challenging in his words. I knew that he couldn't seriously think that she would be good on the team. Aside for a few pickup games with her year students, I hadn't really seen any noticeable talent.

"Possibly," Lily replied almost cheekily. I was surprised when I heard him laugh and continue walking, marking on his clipboard. I kept my face stoic as she looked down at me, almost surprised to see me there. I internally groaned as Damon grinned at her and gave her a thumb up. Lily grinned back at Damon and looked straight forward.

"Alright, let see what you have. West, beater, Malfoy, chaser, E. Goyle, chaser, D. Goyle, chaser, Potter, seeker, Bridges, keeper," Flint said. "Team up with me. Russo, keeper, Haughton, seeker, Wilson, Lacy, and O'Neil as chasers, and your two, whatever your names are, beaters. Alright, let's hit the skies."

Having known that Lily wanted to try beater, I wondered if she was terribly disappointed in being tried as a seeker. Personally, I thought that it was a better choice for her. Her dad was a great seeker in his day, even my dad reluctantly admitted to me that much. I took off to the sky, Darla on my tail. It would be weird to play chaser with her, but I would do my best. Elena and I already were used to each other, so play was going to be easy between at least the two of us.

I kind of forgot that Lily was off being seeker, falling deep into my chaser role than I ever thought possible. Darla kept dropping the Quaffle, until the point where Elena and I shot each other a look that we should probably not give her the ball anymore. Elena threw it over Darla's head, much to Darla's annoyance, and I caught it deftly.

Out of nowhere, Haughton was near me, and then I saw her. I held my breath as Lily sped by me, her body moving so fast and her so close that I felt the whip of her hair against my face, stinging slightly. I exhaled as Malvo sent a bludger towards her and missed, it cracking against my shoulder and knocking me from my broom. For once, I was thankful that I tended to fly low and the five foot fall was smarting, but not nearly as bad as it could have been.

I watched and internally cheered as Lily caught the snitch. Haughton screamed foul, but Professor Wood sided with Lily on the score before he berated Lily for her daredevil flying. Malvo flew towards me, to see if I was ok. I nodded, standing, before he could ask anything. I didn't need him thinking that I couldn't take a hit, protective gear or not. Malvo nodded and called the tryout over. He sent everyone off to the locker room. Darla skipped along merrily beside me, not having even broken a sweat.

"Did you see my baby get hit? I swear that Flint was trying to knock him off his broom," Darla said as she headed in to the showers. I caught Lily rolling her eyes as she headed towards the showers, herself, much sweatier and dirtier than my Darla. I grinned as Darla's voice fluttered back towards the main locker room. "Did you see it, Lily?"

"Mhmm," I heard Lily reply without the indignation that Darla obviously felt for my slight. I laughed and headed towards the boys' showers, eager to get a hot shower before all of the hot water was used up. I was lucky. Most of my shower was hot, for which I was grateful, and I stepped out into the main locker room. Darla was waiting for me, her face smiling.

"Are you ok?" she asked as she eyed my shoulder, as if she could see through my shirt. Damon laughed as he walked by.

"My boy, Score, is stronger than that," he said as he passed us. Flint walked out of his tiny captain's office and looked over the few of us that were still there.

"Malfoy, can I talk to you?" Flint said to me. I nodded once, leaving Darla with Damon. I followed him into the office, taking the seat across from his small desk. Flint sat down, pushing aside his roster.

"What can I do for you, captain?" I asked casually as he flipped through the papers on his clipboard.

"I want to run some things by you," Flint said to me as he looked up. "First of all, and don't take this wrong, but I can not fathom Darla being a good Quidditch player. I don't want you to take offense to that, but she just doesn't seem like the type. She was terrible at ball handling."

"No offense taken," I assured him. I was thinking the same thing.

"I just don't have time to teach something that comes naturally to much better players," Flint said to me. I nodded in agreement.

"You have to make the decision that is best for the team," I told him. Flint looked at me for a second and nodded.

"I am thinking of keeping West and Elena for the team," Flint said. "And you, of course."

"Thank you," I said simply.

"I have to fill three other spots," Flint continued as he looked at the roster. "I wanted your opinion on a few players."

"Which ones?" I asked curiously. Flint continued to scratch names off the list. He didn't look up.

"What do you think of Haughton?" Flint asked me. I thought about him.

"He's good, a little hot headed, but nothing that can't be used to our advantage," I said while he nodded.

"And what about Collins?" Flint said. He clarified for me, "The fourth year boy with spiky hair."

"I don't really remember seeing him play," I confessed. Flint looked up.

"He wasn't very good," Flint confirmed. He hesitated. "What about Potter?"

"Lily?" I choked.

"Yeah, I mean, I know she's small as hell, but quick and light," Flint said. "I was thinking seeker."

"Uh…" I said unable to think. He was actually considering her for the team. I swallowed. "I think she was actually more interested in a position as a beater."

"A… beater?" Flint asked incredulously.

"Yeah," I said.

"But she's so… small," Flint laughed shaking his head.

"I agree," I said quickly. "And you already have Nice as a seeker."

"Still," Flint said as he looked at me. "She comes from great Quidditch lineage, and she's got talent that can't be taught."

"True," I agreed. "She'd make a good addition to our team."

"But, beater? Really?" Flint said thoughtfully. "I am going to post the second round list first thing in the morning for tomorrow afternoon."

"Ok," I said nodding. Flint grinned at me and dismissed me, turning back to the roster before I even climbed free of the chair.

I didn't say anything to Darla or Elena that evening at dinner, though my eyes flickered to Lily once or twice almost reflexively. She was sitting with Kate and Shale, eating and occasionally talking to Damon who was near me. I would look up as she spoke, almost as if I was hoping that I'd catch her eye. I knew she was still pissed but I hoped that maybe, if she possibly made it onto the Quidditch team, she could one day stop hating me and start being my friend again. If all I could have was friendship, then so be it.

She smiled at me and instinctively I looked behind me, thinking that there was no reason for her to smile at me. I glanced to Darla who was focused on pushing her food around her plate, then to the random person next to me, who was looking off in the opposite direction. I glanced back at Lily and she laughed at my hesitant smile. She turned back to Shale and continued to talk. It caught me completely off guard.

I found myself thinking about her for a good bit of the night that night as I lay in my bed, trying to sleep. I had pulled Damon aside, telling him what Flint had said about round two tryouts. Damon was confident that he and I would make the final cut, but he did think it was a good thing that Flint was willing to give Lily the chance at second round tryouts. He, like Flint, agreed that she could be very valuable as a player, especially with her lineage.

I dressed early the next morning and headed down to the bulletin board to see the list officially posted with the second round of tryouts. Below my name was Lily's name, scratched into the parchment with Flint's heavy hand with ink. Darla stepped up beside me, running her manicured finger down the list. I glanced at her as she made a face.

"I didn't make the team?" she asked almost hesitantly, seeing her sister's name on the list but not her own. She paused at my name and then her finger hovered over Lily's name. "Lily did but I didn't?"

"I kind of like the idea of having you in the stands, cheering for me," I said quickly, not wanting her to go ballistic on me. She made a face and turned on her heel. I didn't watch her go but I heard the echoing slam of her dormitory door.

"Wow, she's pissed," muttered one of the sixth years that was standing next to me. I laughed as I glanced up just in time to see Lily slide towards me, her still donning pajamas. I caught her easily, her hands encircling my neck as she struggled not to fall. Her eyes widened as my arms wrapped around her waist, steadying her. I felt my heart take off in my chest and where her hands touched my neck I felt a jolt of electricity.

"Honestly, Lily," I teased as I released her waist and loosened her arms from around my neck. The last think I needed was Darla walking in on that sight. Lily was flustered, blushing a deep crimson. "If you wanted a hug, I would have been more than thrilled to comply."

"I wasn't hugging you," Lily retorted though her eyes widened in surprise at my offer. I had to admit, I was surprised at it, myself. "I was coming out here to see if I had really been put on the call back list."

"You have," I confirmed as I grinned at her. Lily turned away from me and to the list, her finger running down the list of call backs until she landed on her name. I was surprised when she hugged the sixth year that had previously made the comment about Darla being pissed. I had almost expected her to wrap her arms around me and I hated the thought that I was eagerly hoping that she would. I missed hugging Lily, and accidentally hugs were nothing compared to the hugs we used to share.

I watched as she cheered again, pulling free of the sixth year and practically dancing excitedly up the stairs. She looked so happy, so free. I wondered how happy she would be if she made the team. For the first time, I really wanted her to make the team. I wanted to be her teammate, because teammates were friends by association and then, maybe, things could go back to the way that they were before Lily saw me kiss Darla and everything became this dramatic mess.

During that afternoon tryouts, we actually had to suit up in our Quidditch uniforms. I watched as Flint dug around to find the smallest set of Quidditch robes in our training robes. Lily pulled them on over her clothes, they were still too large and she rolled the sleeves up. She stood down the line from me and looked straight ahead as Flint walked along the path, teaming us out. Flint and I were on one team, and Lily was on the other.

"Potter, suit up for beater," Flint told her. I stared as she nodded and headed towards the bin that had been wheeled out with all the padding and gear for the various positions. I nearly laughed as she began to pull on the wrist and shin guards. Even our small spare set was too loose on her thin framed wrists and shins, but in a pinch, they'd make due. I watched curiously as Lily took the beater club in her left hand and for the first time I realized that she was left handed.

"Ok, Malfoy, West," Flint said quietly as he drew us away from the opposing team. "I know this seems really unethical, but I need to see how Potter reacts to multiple player gang up."

"Er, you want us to gang up on Lily?" Damon asked uncertainly.

"I know, it sounds awful," Flint said as he roughly shoved his hand through his hair.

"Yeah, it does," I agreed with our captain, but I could see his purpose. If she was going to be on the Slytherin team, she couldn't be the weak link or burst into tears if she was ganged up on. I caught Flint's eye and nodded.

"Makes sense," Damon agreed without a further explanation. Professor Wood glanced our way and blew his whistle, sending us all into the air.

If I had not witnessed Lily in action, I wouldn't have believed that someone as slight as she could have been an affective beater. She was quick, even with the bat in her hand, easily defending her team's chasers while knocking well aimed bludgers at my team's chasers. Play after play, Flint would send a hard hit bludger towards one of her chasers. No matter where she was, Lily would zip over there and knock the bludger back towards one of us.

More than once, I actually dropped the Quaffle to avoid being bludgeoned by the bludger. Her hits were precise, and if I didn't know better I would have thought that she was actually targeting me. I knew she was aiming for chasers, but I seemed to get an inane amount of them sent my way. I was getting ready to score what seemed like my fifth goal in a row when Professor Wood blew his whistle. The snitch had been caught and the game was over. My team had annihilated the other and both sides of the tryout teams hit the ground in graceful moves.

"That was wicked intense," Damon said nodding toward Lily who had walked ahead of us into the locker room.

"Seriously," I agreed. I grinned at him. "We kicked some major ass out there today. At least you and I know we're both on the team."

"Hell yeah," Damon laughed as sat on our benches by our locker, beginning to pull off our protective gear and tossed it in the bins. I glanced over at Lily who was sitting on the bench across from us, her fingers hesitated as she pulled off her borrowed gear. She looked disappointed as she stood and dropped her things in the bin, heading towards the showers.

"Potter," Flint said loudly. "I want to see you outside now."

"Ok," Lily said as she glanced uncertainly at me. I looked away quickly, not wanting to let anything go. I knew Flint was going to tell her that she was on the team. With the way she played today, I knew that he'd have to be a stupid to not let her be on the team. She was an awesome seeker the day before and surprisingly good as a beater, which was saying a lot. I didn't watch as Lily followed Flint out of the locker room and back to the pitch. I headed to the showers, not letting curiosity get the better of me.

I was standing in front of my locker, getting dressed the rest of the way when Flint approached me, still sweaty and in need of a shower. He grinned at me and waited until I finished tying my tie. I looked at him, my eyebrow raised.

"I offered Potter a place on the team," he said.

"Oh?" I responded with grin, as if I didn't expect it.

"Beater," Flint continued without missing a beat.

"Beater, really?" I said. I was surprised. She wasn't the typical beater physique, but then again, that could work to our advantage. I grinned as he nodded.

"Well, see you at practice," Flint said as he walked off towards his office. I nearly laughed. Lily and I were going to be on the same Quidditch team. She'd have to get over her anger towards me. I waited for her, standing against my locker with my arms casually crossed. I had left my hair to air dry, the way I liked it, and I knew that she noticed that first about me when she stepped up to her locker, her eyes on me. She bit her lip slightly and turned to her locker, pulling out her bag. I wondered what she was thinking, but I knew that unless she told me in words, I'd never figure it out. I'd probably never really figure her out.

"Congrats on making the team," I called to her as she slammed her locker and walked towards the exit doors. She stopped and looked at me.

"Thank you," she said hesitantly as she went to continue out the doors.

"Are you going to stay mad at me forever? Even though I don't know what I did?" I asked her remorsefully. She may not have been ready to forgive me for whatever I had done, but I was ready to take full blame if it increased the likelihood that we could be friends. It came suddenly, this desire to bury the hatchet. She stopped again and looked at me, biting her lip again.

"I'm not mad at you," she said to me quietly. I had to strain to hear her words. "Just disappointed in you, that's all. I'm disappointed." Lily exited the locker room without another word. I grabbed my bag and headed out of the doors quickly. This was not over. Obviously I had screwed up somewhere, done something more than just kept my relationship with Darla quiet. Something I had done had Lily disappointed in me and I intended to find out what.

"Lily, wait up," I called to her as I chased after her.

"Baby! There you are!" Darla called out shrilly over the grounds, heading straight past Lily. I groaned as Darla snaked her arms around my neck and kissed me. For once, I was thankful that Lily didn't turn around.

"Darla, hey," I said gruffly.

"Ooh, are you cranky today?" Darla teased playfully.

"Just a little tired and annoyed," I admitted as I pried her from me. Darla looked slightly affronted.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked me as I looked towards the space Lily had disappeared from.

"I…" I started.

"Hey, Malfoy! A word?" Flint said interrupting me. I sighed a audible sigh of relief. Lucky for me, Darla took it as a sigh of frustration.

"See you later, Baby," Darla said kissing my cheek and running off towards the castle herself. I turned to see Flint jogging up to meet me. He had, thankfully, decided on taking a shower; his hair wet.

"Yeah, Flint?" I asked, careful to keep the edge of annoyance out of it.

"Look, I need a favor from you," Flint said quickly as he stopped in front of me. "I was intending on taking Lily to the Quidditch shop in Hogsmead next Saturday, but Professor Wood's called a meeting of all the Quidditch captains and I can't take her. All the gear we have here is way too big on her and she needs some well fitting gear. I was wondering if you'd mind taking her."

"Oh," I said stupidly. I don't know what I expected when Flint asked me for a favor.

"So, will you do it?" he asked me again, as I had yet to answer him.

"Oh, yeah, sure," I said recovering quickly. I shrugged indifferently. "No problem."

"Thanks," Flint said as he turned to walk away. He stopped and turned back to me. "Oh, and get her a broom. Slytherins can't compete on standard school brooms. She was fast as hell on one, amazingly enough. Could you imagine how quick she'd be on a premium broom?"

"No, I can't," I admitted.

"Just add the stuff all to the Slytherin house account, will yeh?" Flint said as he turned again to leave. He stopped a third time and looked back at me. "Thanks again, mate."

"No problem," I called as I turned and headed towards the castle. I didn't want to give Flint a fourth chance to turn and talk to me some more. I headed down to the dungeons, thinking I should probably just tell Lily Flint's intentions before she found out from someone else. I stopped for a moment, thinking. I wondered, silently, if maybe that was why Lily was so pissed at me. I wondered if it wasn't that I was dating Darla, but that she found out from someone other than me.

I pressed forward, almost heading to the common room when I remembered that Lily was supposed to help Kate and Darla with potions to bring their grades up. I turned quickly and went to Professor Perkins' classroom. Sure enough, Lily was in the classroom, supplies spread out on the black table before her. She was lighting a giant cauldron with her wand.

"Hey Lily," I said as I entered the room. The last thing I wanted to do was sneak up on her and give her a good reason to hex me.

"Hey," Lily said in almost a grunt unbefitting a lady of Slytherin. I nearly laughed at her greeting but thought better of it. I slowly entered the room, careful not to be too loud or too quiet.

"Flint wants me to take you down to the Quidditch shop on Saturday to make sure that you get the right fit," I told her as I stepped up behind her. There was no sense in dragging out the news. Lily looked up, surprise crossing her face. I smiled slightly, uncertainly and she breathed in a trembling breath. I didn't know what to make of it.

"Oh, okay," Lily said finally after what seemed like the longest delay in the world. The words came out a bit constrained and I smiled again, nodding. At least she hadn't flat out told me that she'd rather be dead than go.

"Good then, it's a date," I said suddenly without thinking. Lily looked up at him surprised, raising an eyebrow. I started to back peddle immediately, realizing my wording error. "Well, not a date, you know. Not a date-date. It's just uh… two of us doing something for Quidditch."

"Okay," Lily said in what almost came out as a laugh. The doors opened to both the classroom and Professor Perkins office. Darla squealed in an unintelligible way and flung herself at me, her mouth suctioning to mine quite unpleasantly. My eyes were wide with shock and I saw Lily and Kate exchange a look and the play gagged on their fingers before erupting into giggles.

"Mr. Malfoy, shall we leave these three to their work?" Professor Perkins suggested as he raised his eyebrow. I was relieved to be able to release Darla and I bolted out of that classroom as quickly as I could possibly go. As it was, Lily was already assaulting my senses without even either of us being aware. The last thing I needed was Darla assaulting my body, and in front of our head of house. Professor Perkins and I walked silently along the corridor together.

"Your Darla is sure a… aggressive one," Professor Perkins said in a serious voice. I glanced up at him warily and he laughed.

"You're telling me," I said in what came out in an unintentionally defeated sounding voice.

"Well, Mr. Malfoy, I wish you both the best," he said smirking as he turned towards the left while I continued towards the common room. Damon was waiting for me, grinning.

"This is going to be an interesting Quidditch season," Damon announced to me as he gestured towards the bulletin board. The Quidditch roster was up, written in Flint's hand again. There, below my name was Lily's name. We were, as it were, mates again… even if only in Quidditch.


	10. Nightcrawlers

**A/N:** Thanks to all the readers and to the reviewers. I do appreciate it. Aren't you glad these are getting out that much quicker? Me too! And so ends chapter 8 of SLP…

**Disc.:** I am the puppet master, not the puppeteer... no... that doesn't make much sense... you know what I mean.  


* * *

**Nightcrawler**

Damon and I were playing a game of exploding snaps when Professor Perkins came in, holding a vial. He headed towards us, a smile on his face. It was quite frightening, the intensity in which he looked at us. Damon and I shared a quick glance as he stopped in front of us.

"I need you two to come with me to my office," he said. Damon and I nodded at once, abandoning our game. Professor Perkins office was rather stuffy and cramped, and it smelled funny, but neither of us said anything.

"What can we do for you, professor?" Damon asked uncertainly as he looked at three small cauldrons balanced on his desk. Professor Perkins grinned.

"I am planning on introducing these three potions to my fourth years, and I wanted to make sure that it's not going to be too challenging," Professor Perkins said as he waved his hand towards the three. "I was wondering if you two could identify them for me."

"Sure," Damon and I both said at the same time. We peered into the first small cauldron to see a clear potion resting still despite the fact that the flame below it was on full. I looked to Damon who poked it with his wand.

"I'd say _Vertiserum_," Damon said as he looked towards Professor Perkins for confirmation.

"Good, good," the professor told him. I glanced into the second potion, a gold color that seemed to jump from its surface without ever spilling a drop.

"_Felix Felicis_," I said recognizing it at once from my text book. I had always wanted to get my hands on some of that to do really well in Quidditch, but that wasn't allowed. I pondered maybe nicking some to get things back together with Lily.

"Fantastic," Professor Perkins said excitedly. He gestured to the third potion. "How about that one?" Damon and I leaned over the pearly potion, ignoring the spiral steam that seemed to rise from its surface.

"I… I don't know," Damon admitted as he shook his head.

"Perhaps you should take a deep breath of it," Professor Perkins suggested. I inhaled deeply through my nose, surprised.

"I smell… fresh cut grass… hmm… and honey-suckle… cherry, a hint of cotton blossoms, and I think, linen," I said in a slight daze as the potion invaded my senses. I took another deep breath through my nose, eager to let the assault continue and fill my head and lungs.

"I know!" Damon said laughing as he looked at me.

"What?" I said as I breathed deeply again.

"It's _Amortentia_! A love potion!" Damon snickered. Professor Perkins laughed along with Damon and placed the lid over the cauldron as I went to take another smell. One it was capped and the door was opened, fresh air wafted in and cleared the fog from my head.

"Ah," I said warily. My mind racked over the possibilities. Those scents were not Darla. Darla always smelled like strong perfume, something I had grown used to but really didn't enjoy.

"Thank you boys," Professor Perkins said. "I'm glad to have had your help. This will be fun to do with my fourth year student. You should probably head to dinner."

"So, fresh cut grass?" Damon teased as the two of us walked toward the Slytherin table. I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks and I shrugged.

"I don't know," I admitted.

"Could it be a Quidditch player?" Damon laughed. "Though there are only two girls on our team, isn't there? Elena and… Lily." Damon's smile turned wicked as he took his seat. I sat and laughed at him.

"You are deluded," I mumbled as we began to fill our plates. Damon snickered.

"Sure," he said. He looked up and nodded towards the three girls that were heading our way. Lily and I made eye contact for a brief moment before Darla sat in my lap. I shuffled her effortlessly toward the bench next to me and glanced back down at Lily again who had opted to sit a few seats down from us.

"It was the funniest thing," Damon said laughing. I shot him a dirty look but it was too late and Darla perked up.

"What was?" Darla asked as she leaned forward on her elbows.

"Professor Perkins had us identify some very difficult potions," I said quickly trying to write it off as a mundane chore. Darla looked at me quizzically.

"I don't see how that is funny," Darla said as she looked to Lily. Lily shrugged and continued eating her food. I cheered silently; neither girl thought it was note worthy.

"No, that wasn't the funny part," Damon said. I nearly reached across the table and shoved a jacket potato down his throat. He was ignoring every dirty look I was shooting his way, and on purpose on that. "What was funny was Scorpius' reaction to one of the potions."

"Yeah?" Lily piped up. My heart kicked into high gear, the thudding almost audible. "What was his reaction?" She looked at me, a smile tugging on the corner of her mouth before she focused back on Damon.

"We were asked to describe what we smelled when we sniffed it," Damon said. "Scorpius almost got all trance like and was going on how it smelled like fresh cut grass, honey-suckle, cherry, cotton blossoms, and clean linen."

"Yeah?" Lily said looking at me with an almost malicious grin hiding below the surface. "What potion was it?" I couldn't help it; the color flooded my face bright red and my palms turned sweaty. I couldn't look away from her to give Damon any more dirty looks.

"Amortentia, the most powerful love potion allowed by the ministry," Damon said. "Highly potent and highly regulated. I'm just curious who smells like that?"

"Ugh, not me," Darla said. "I'd never let myself smell like stinky old grass." Lily looked at me, biting her lip, probably tasting her cherry chap stick. My stomach twisted behind my navel, the craving to taste it again purring deep within. The beast, the beast I had kept at bay for so long, roared deep within me, warning me that soon he'd break out of the cage I had buried him in. I wiped my palms on my pants, wanting nothing more than to break the eye contact that Lily and I seemed to be stuck in. Thankfully, she was stronger than I was and she pulled her gaze away, her cheeks aflame as she reached down to pick up the fork she'd knocked to the ground. I pulled my gaze away from her, the eye contact broken and I glared at Damon, drawing my finger across my throat. He laughed, and began to eat his steak and kidney pie.

I ate the rest of my dinner in silence, thankful that I had the excuse of patrol later to excuse me from having to be in the common room. I headed up to my dorm, throwing myself onto my bed with my homework, eager to block out everyone from my mind. Damon came in snickering and I threw my shoe at the back of his head. He rubbed where the shoe deflected off of him, picking up the offending shoe.

"Hey, what was that for?" Damon said scowling.

"You might as well as came right out and told Lily that I am in love with her," I hissed at him. Damon laughed.

"I knew I had smelled those scents to some degree before," Damon said as he tossed my shoe onto the end of my bed. "She does smell good. Nice and subtle, versus Darla's heavy handedness with her perfume."

"You know Lily knows now, right?" I snapped at him.

"So?" Damon said.

"How is that fair to her? She knows I love her, and yet I'm with Darla?" I explained. Realization flooded Damon's face.

"Hey, man, I wasn't trying to torture her," Damon said. "As it is, I heard Lily's friend, Kate, telling Shale that Lily didn't even know that you had no choice in this whole thing. Apparently Darla clued her in earlier."

"Yeah?" I said raising my eyebrow. I shook my head. "It doesn't change anything."

"No," Damon admitted. He laughed a second. "Maybe you'll get lucky and your grandfather will die before he forces you down the aisle to marry Darla."

"Real nice," I said scowling.

"Sorry," Damon apologized. "You'd better get to patrolling. I think Celeste's taking over for Elena, or was Elena taking over for Celeste?"

"Dunno," I said as I pulled my shoe back on and headed out the dormitory. I glanced across the common room to see Lily, Kate, and Shale together by one of the fireplaces, working on their homework. I wanted Lily to look up at me, to smile at me, but she remained bent over her parchment. I sighed and joined Celeste out in the main corridor, readying to spend the next couple of hours passing out detentions left and right to non Slytherins who were out after hours.

"Ready?" Celeste asked.

"Um, sure," I said dejectedly and the two of us headed off to patrol.

Celeste and I walked around for a while, silently, occasionally encountering students who were out of bed. We passed out half a dozen detentions, most of them being lost Gryffindors. Celeste laughed as the last one ran off crying towards the Gryffindor tower. I checked my watch, glad to see that it was time to head back to the common room. It was late enough and we were free to quit patrolling. Celeste reached the portrait first.

"That cow's not in her portrait again," Celeste said angrily. "And I'm tired as all get out."

"That's why they installed the prefect releases," I reminded her gently as I reached up and caught the hidden latch on the frame. The portrait swung open with a deafening creak. I held it open for Celeste to walk through when I caught a whiff of cherry and grass, among other things. I paused, glancing around. My eyes landed on the statue of Salazar Slytherin.

"Are you coming?" Celeste asked.

"Yeah, be right there," I told her as I closed the portrait behind her. I walked towards the statue slowly, my shoes undeniably loud on the stone floor. Crouched down in a ball, hiding, was Lily. I raised an eyebrow as I rested my hand on her shoulder.

"Oh, hello Scorpius," Lily said quietly as she looked up at me, forcing a smile. "Lovely night for a stroll."

"You're out of bed after hours," I said trying to sound stern. Lily stood and faced me, her head barely reaching my shoulder. She tilted her head up to look at my face, her bottom lip seized between her teeth.

"Just walking of the excitement of the day," Lily said truthfully. She smiled at me almost sheepishly. "How'd you know I was out of bed and hiding here?"

"I, er, just did," I said as heat rose to my cheeks. I was not about to admit that I had caught the scent of her, the scent of my Amortentia potion.

"You're blushing," Lily accused laughing.

"No I'm not," I denied shaking my head as my cheeks heated up a bit more.

"Uh-huh, yeah," Lily laughed. "Anyways, fine, live in denial. So, do I get points off or something for being out of bed after lights out?"

"I could give you a punishment," I reminded her almost tauntingly. Lily seemed to see through my empty threat and she called my bluff, stepping even closer to me until I could practically feel the heat radiating off of her. My breath caught in my throat, my heart began to race.

"But you aren't, are you?" Lily challenged in a low, almost sultry voice. It surprised and stunned me more than any spell could have.

"No," I admitted almost dazed. "I'm not going to."

"Good," she said grinning.

"Are you still mad at me?" I asked as I cleared my head slightly by shaking it.

"No," Lily said. She looked away.

"It's Darla, isn't it?" I asked her gently. Lily looked at me, frowning. She hesitated and I was tempted to nudge her chin with my hand, but I was a little afraid to touch her. Afraid of my reaction.

"You told me that I was too young and Darla's not that much older than me," Lily challenged not quite meeting my eyes. Her face was blazing hot, her cheeks red with embarrassment and disappointment. I really hoped that she wouldn't cry.

"You don't understand," I explained gently. I kept my voice quiet. "This is how it works for Slytherins. Your grandparents pair you up. To ensure strong lineage, my grandfather was required to select my future spouse. I don't have a say in the matter. Do you think I would really choose Darla over you?"

"No one seems to think I am a 'real' Slytherin, so it wouldn't surprise me," Lily said simply as she looked away from my face without meeting my eyes.

"Get over your lineage being Gryffindor, Lily," I said with authority, unable to keep from rolling my eyes. "You're a Slytherin, through and true. I would have chosen you. I would have, but it wasn't my choice to make. While my grandfather is alive, he will continue to hold me to this arrangement. He won't let me make the 'mistake' he says my father made."  
"Fine," Lily said in a thick voice. She turned away from me completely and I grabbed her arm, making her look at me. I could see the glint of tears in her eyes and I felt a desire to wipe them away from her cheek. I turned her face with my thumb and fore finger, making her looked up at me.

"Lils, please, you have to understand," I breathed slightly, my hands began to shake. "I begged him. I begged my grandmother to talk to him. Lucius Malfoy is not an easily swayed man. It's just how it is. My father only dodged it because his grandfather died before he could force them down the aisle. I would give up everything if it wasn't Darla, Lils. I would. I don't care for her like I care for you."

"I… you…" Lily said. I released her and we quickly looked away from each other, almost as if we were embarrassed.

"I know," I agreed sadly. "I know that we can't be anything more than friends, but Lily, if there was any way that you and I could be more, I'd jump on it faster than you could say 'Bethesda Boggles Black Beanies'. You know that, right?"

"I figured as much," Lily said. "But being friends is it for us."

"I never meant to hurt you," I vowed. "I did think that eleven was too young, still do. Thirteen, not so much, but we're where we're supposed to be."

"Well," Lily said after a moment of silence. She glanced back up at my face, sadness on her face and I wanted to wipe that look right off her face. "I guess I'll head back inside and off to bed. Think you could open the portrait?"

"Sure," I agreed as the two of us headed back towards the empty portrait. The lady had yet returned. I suddenly grabbed Lily, pulling her into a one-armed hug, her face pressed against my chest. I could feel my heart racing and I wondered if she noticed it, too. I reached up with my free hand and released the latch. "Sorry, just couldn't have you peeking."

"Mhmm," Lily said into my chest, the warmth radiating through out me. I opened the portrait as I released her, holding it open for her. Lily glanced back at me hesitantly as she headed toward her dormitory, and then she was gone. I headed toward my own dormitory, knowing damn well I'd not sleep tonight. Not with the feel of her body against mine, even for that brief moment. Her scent was invading of my clothes and person. I inhaled deeply, like I had the potion, not wanting the pleasure of the scent to evade me. I stared up at my green and silver draperies, thinking. I had pretty much confessed to Lily that I was unequivocally in love with her, and there was no a damn thing I could do about it.


	11. Used

**A/N:** I don't know… there seems to be a lot of copying and pasting going on in this chapter… I hope I can make it feel shiny, fresh, and new.

**Disc:** Just having a little fun.

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**Used**

Already, Flint had pretty much smoked us out on the Quidditch field. Most of us were bleeding or bruised, all of us were sweaty and dirty. We had been practicing for what seemed like hours, though the sun in the sky was contradictory to that fact. I don't know about everyone else, but I was already quite sore and quite tired. A glance at a few other's faces told me that I wasn't the only one.

"Ok, everyone out of the air," Flint bellowed loudly. I landed next to Damon who was laughing about a rather bone-headed drop of the Quaffle. Flint glared at him. "West, there's not any room for errors like that when we're playing Ravenclaw or Gryffindor."

"I know," Damon said quickly stifling his laughter. Flint continued to glare at us, his eyes landing on each one of us. I glanced down the line to see Lily standing there at the end of the line of us, about three or so down from me. She was standing very still, but she seemed exhausted.

"I want to hammer something home to you," Flint said as he took Lily's beater bat from her. I frowned, wondering what he was doing. His own bat was nowhere to be seen. "I want to give you a practical example of why you should avoid the bludgers at all cost, even if our beaters are supposed to be there to protect. You must be vigilant."

He reached into a bucket and pulled out six large muggle softballs, five hovering beside him in midair while he looked at each one of us. Unexpectedly, he knocked them at us, one by one. The ball made a thick thudding sound as it connected with my shoulder, the sting bringing pricks of tears to my eyes. I quickly glanced down the line at Lily, almost in horror as Flint batted the ball at her. I cringed hard, but the sound of ball and body never came. At the last minute, Lily stepped out of the path of the ball.

"That hurt," Damon whispered to me as he rubbed where the ball had connected with his stomach. I was already trying to work the ache out of my shoulder.

"That is a tenth the size of a bludger and much softer," Flint said ignoring the complaints and whiny groans of his teammates. Flint turned to Lily, holding out the bat. She took it, grinning. "Why did you dodge the ball?"

"Because I'm not stupid enough to let you hit me with a ball," Lily said with a laughing tone to her voice.

"Exactly," Flint said assuredly. I was surprised that he was not angry, and instead, he flashed a smile at Lily before looking at the rest of us. He didn't seem as pleased with us as he was with our youngest, smallest teammate. "I would have been more impressed if the five of you had the same sense that our little third year had and stepped out of the path of the ball. The idea isn't to get hit and keep on going, the idea is to not get hit in the first place."

"Now he tells us," I grunted to Damon. Damon snickered, causing Flint glared at us.

"So, hit the showers, enjoy what's left of the Hogsmead trip, and be prepared for our Gryffindor game next week," Flint said dismissing us without much more. "Lily, don't forget to hit the shop for gear."

"Will do, captain," Lily said saluting him with a smile on her face. I was surprised that she was so cheeky with him, and not only that, he wasn't getting pissy with her like he would have if it had been any of us. Flint raised an eyebrow at her and he returned her grin. It was the strangest thing. Shrugging, I headed in for the shower, not as lucky to get a really hot one, but I got clean well enough anyways. I dressed and waited by the lockers for Lily.

I watched as Lily took a seat on the bench, putting her socks and shoes on. She was wearing jeans and a pink shirt. I couldn't remember a recent time where I had seen her wearing muggle clothes. They suited her and I was surprised that she was comfortable in things other than her school robes. It was weird seeing her in that state.

"Almost ready?" I asked her. She looked up at me and smiled for a moment before she turned back to tying her shoes.

"Nearly ready," she said jumping up. "I just want to put my belt on." I watched as she pulled a pink belt out of her locker and began looping it through the loops on her jeans. She pulled her shirt into place and turned to me, slamming her locker door.

"I don't think I've seen you in regular clothes since that year before you started Hogwarts," I told her.

"I normally wear the uniform or my pajamas," Lily said. "It cuts down on laundry to have to do when I go home during Christmas."

"You do your own laundry?" I asked her in surprised. Having never done laundry myself, I couldn't imagine. I held the door open and she led the way out the door.

"Yes," she said. "I have since I was eight. We don't have house elves."

"Wow, really," I murmured.

"Mhmm," Lily replied without another word as the two of us headed towards Hogsmead. We walked in silence and I'd occasionally look at her just to catch her peek up at me. When I caught her, I'd grin and heat would flood her cheeks. It was so sunny and the sun caught the strands of her hair.

Once we were in town, I led her straight to the Quidditch shop. The shop keeper looked up, his frame almost as slight and frail as Lily's. I had seen him plenty of times and he waved us over to the measuring area, his tape measure quivering in midair for Lily to be measured.

"Out of your clothes, Miss Potter," the shop keeper said. I felt the heat in my face rise up as I turned away from her. I heard Lily laugh from behind me.

"I'm wearing basic Quidditch garments," Lily told me as she whipped off her jeans and tee shirt, tossing them unceremoniously into the chair closest to me. I'll admit it, I dared a peek, figure worse to worse, I'd see more of her than I deserved. Sure enough she was wearing the basic top and bottom, snug and form fitting to help from restriction and sweat build up. She had small curves; well small compared to the other girls we went to school with. It wasn't a bad thing, really, I just never thought of her in that way.

"Quality," the shop keep said as the measuring instruments went to work measuring Lily. The shop keeper nodded at the measurement tools. "You're a tiny thing. Beater, I think Flint said. Surprising, but Flint knows his Quidditch, and you do come from strong Quidditch lineage, even if it is Gryffindor."

"Nearly done there?" I snapped at him. I didn't like the way he insinuated that Lily was less of a Slytherin because her family typically hailed from Gryffindor. "Her lineage is nothing to mock. She's a damn good player, old man, and you'd be best to remember that."

"Yes, of course, Mr. Malfoy," the shop keeper said immediately. "My apologies, dear girl. This old man doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut."

"It's ok," Lily said. I watched as the man worked silently pulling boxes and having Lily try the gear on. He kept having to get smaller and smaller equipment, tightening the straps here and there.

"Dear, you are petite," he said in a quiet voice as he struggled to get the straps tight. "I think this is it, though, a wonderful fit. Have you hit puberty yet?"

"Uh," Lily said blushing. My jaw dropped open at the man's boldness and I grabbed the first thing closest to me and pretended to be reading it. Some tube of muscle cream that promised quick healing and no fatigue. Perfect.

"I'd take that as a no, then," he said not even being quiet. "Don't worry. Your frame doesn't look like it'd get that much bigger, even when you hit that special time." I could see the look of horror on Lily's face in the reflection of the mirror.

"I _have_," Lily hissed at the man, her face on fire. I nearly laughed from my own embarrassment.

"None the less, the Velcro straps will allow for you to adjust up if you need," he said as he piled the purchases in the bag. "Go ahead and get dressed and I'll get this all bagged up and get your broom."

"Mind handing me my jeans?" Lily asked me with a strained voices as she pulled on her tee shirt. I gathered the jeans up off the chair and held them out to her. She didn't quite meet my eyes, her cheeks still bright red.

"Smart of you to remember to wear that," I said with mock dissatisfaction.

"Disappointed much, Score?" Lily teased me and I choked slightly. I could feel my face warming up and I looked away quickly. She laughed as she pushed me slightly with her hand.

"No," I lied as i busied himself with Lily's stuff. I took the broom in my hand, the handle smooth. "I'll carry the broom and you get your bag."

"Good day, Mr. Malfoy, Miss Potter," the shop keeper said ushering us out of his store. I wasn't ready to let her go just yet, and apparently the sentiment was the same.

"How about a drink, my treat for you being so nice to take me to the Quidditch shop and wasting a good bit of the time we have here when you could be off with Darla," Lily offered as we walked along the sidewalk together.

"The Three Broomsticks?" I suggested smiling at her. She grinned and nodded

"Sure," she replied almost breathlessly.

"Lily Potter!" a voice called from behind us, the voice distinctly male and carrying loudly. We both turned slowly, looking behind us to see the source of the shouter. Lily squealed excitedly, bolting down the street quickly, running _to_ him. Running _from_ me. I followed pathetically down the sidewalk after her, though not nearly as excited about it or as quickly as she.

"TARYN!" Lily squealed as she jumped into his arms practically. The guy, Taryn, hugged Lily, spinning her and planting a kiss on her mouth. "What are you doing here?"

"I got your letter," he said. "My cousin apparated us here for the day. You are one heck of a girl to track down."

"I had to do some shopping," Lily said shaking the bag slightly. I felt awkward standing there, obviously ignored by Lily. She was still pressed against him, his arms were still wrapped tightly around her.

"What'd my girl buy?" He asked playfully. Lily held the bag open so he could peek inside. "Quidditch, huh? So it's true then? You're really a beater?"

"Yeah, and she's damn good one, too," I said interjecting myself into their awareness. Lily looked at me and smiled, though it was an almost apologetic smile.

"Taryn, this is my housemate, Scorpius. Scorpius, this is my boyfriend, Taryn," Lily introduced.

"The boy from the picture," I confirmed simply. We shook hands, practically trying to crush the life out of each other's hand, but without even a grimace.

"Taryn, we were just going to the Three Broomsticks for a round of butter beer. You must come. I want to show you off," Lily laughed. He slipped his arm around Lily's waist.

"I can't deny you, can I?" Taryn said. He looked directly at me and smirked, winking. "She is, after all, the best girl a guy could ever hope to get." I felt my fist clench around her broom handle. Lily's eyes remained focused on him, and I felt jealousy burning in my veins.

The three of us sat at a table while they waited for our drinks from Rosemerta. Lily was conveniently oblivious to the death looks and glares that Taryn and I were tossing back and forth at each other. After the drinks arrived, Taryn started talking about his own Quidditch career at Durmstrang, a bloody beater. He bored me to tears and I watched Lily gazing at him from over the rim of my glass.

"I guess when Lily and I are married and have kids, it'd be fair to say that our sons will be beaters, as well," Taryn said casually. I started to choke for a moment on my drink but forced the butter beer down

"You're betrothed?" I coughed out.

"No," Lily replied quickly as she looked at me. Her cheeks were bright red.

"Technically, no," Taryn admitted. "I want to wait until my last year at Durmstrang to ask her father officially, though I do think that I might broach the subject with Mr. Potter this Christmas. I know she's a bit young, but I can't let this one slip through my finger."

"Taryn, please," Lily said blushing as he kissed her neck lightly. I vomited a little in my mouth at the sight. Lily stood, grinning. "I'll be right back, guys."

"Don't take too long," Taryn told her grinning as he watched her walk away. Once Lily was out of ear shot, Taryn looked back at me, his hate filled glare full on me. "So, you're _the_ Scorpius, then?"

"I suppose so," I smirked. For as little as Lily had talked about Taryn to me, apparently she had talked enough about me to have Taryn glaring at me like that.

"You know, you don't have a chance in hell," he threatened as of the bar maids came up. She leaned on the edge of the table with her hands. Her low cut blouse barely contained her overwhelming amount of breast that threatened to spill.

"Is there anything I could get you boys?" she asked. Taryn's eyes stayed firmly planted on her breasts.

"You, me, and a hotel room?" Taryn said laughing as he glanced up at her. She giggled, her breasts dancing in front of his eyes. I turned my head in disgust.

"You're bad," she taunted as she reached into her pocket. She scribbled something down and handed it to Taryn. He took in and tucked it in his pocket.

"I'll definitely give you a call," Taryn said grinning. He slapped the waitress on her rear, causing her to erupt into a fit of giggles as she walked away. He laughed and turned back to his drink.

"What the hell was that?" I asked angrily. "You're supposed to be with Lily."

"I am with Lily," Taryn said shrugging.

"Dude, you can't be with a girl like Lily and slap the rear end of some floozy waitress," I told him angrily. "How could you even accept her telephone number? You can't just sit there and flirt with random women behind Lily's back."

"You'd better mind your business," Taryn threatened. "What Lily doesn't know won't hurt her. Plus it's not like Lily's letting me get far enough quick enough."

"What?" I choked out. Anger had me clenching my fists and it took everything in my power to keep from cocking my fist back and knocking the shit out of the guy in front of me.

"If you're smart, you'll keep your mouth shut," Taryn threatened as Lily headed towards us. She looked at Taryn's face and then mine, worry evident in her eyes.

"Is something wrong?" Lily asked nervously as she sat down next to Taryn. He looked at her with that same sick, sappy, false smile and shook his head.

"No, of course not, sweetie," Taryn said. "Just a little friendly banter between two Quidditch players."

"Oh," Lily said slowly, uncertainly. She looked at me, her eyes questioning and seeking some sort of confirmation that we had been bantering about Quidditch, which we had not been doing. I wasn't about to lie for this bastard and I clenched my jaw almost as tight as my fists were.

"I'm going to find Darla," I said quickly through my clenched teeth, standing.

"Be a sport and take Lily's bags," Taryn said pushing the bags toward me. I looked at him as if I couldn't believe that he was so bold. Had he been any other guy, anyone other than Lily's boyfriend, I would have hexed him into next week.

"Really, you don't need to," Lily protested. She turned to Taryn. "Taryn, he doesn't need to."

"It's ok, Lils," I said quickly as I took her bags. "I'll catch you back at the castle." I bolted out of the Three Broom Sticks as quickly as I could and contemplated finding Darla. Realizing that Darla probably wouldn't be that understanding about my carrying around Lily's shopping, I headed back to the school, towards the Slytherin locker room and to Lily's locker. I tapped the lock with my wand, the metal device springing open. Inside was neat and clean with a change of muggle clothes. The locker emitted the faintest smell of her and it actually caused me physical pain.

I placed the bag on the bench and began pulling the items from the bag. I slipped one of her wrist guards on, unable to Velcro the guards closed. She was just so damn tiny, so frail. It made me angry to think that Taryn was wherever when he didn't deserve her. I mean, yeah, I gathered I had no claim on her, either, but she would have been better off alone than with that guy.

I pushed the thoughts from my mind and finished unloading the bag. I folded her Quidditch robes and put them away as Flint entered the locker room. I glanced up, looking at him over my shoulder. He nodded once and headed into his office, leaving the door open. I closed up Lily's locker and headed towards the exit door, poking my head in the open doorway.

"Hey, Malfoy," Flint said. "Did Lily get everything she needs?"

"Yeah," I said nodding. "I brought it back to the locker room for her since she ran into a friend that she wanted to hang out with."

"Are you off to find Darla?" he asked. I suppressed a grimace and nodded.

"Yeah," I said.

"Good," Flint said laughing. "She was giving me dirty looks in Hogsmead. I guess she was pissed that I sent you to help Lily." I made a face.

"I thought you couldn't do it because you had a captains' meeting with Professor Wood," I said crossing my arms. He nodded.

"Professor Wood realized that it was a Hogsmead weekend and released us before everyone arrived. I figured you'd not mind hanging out with Lily," Flint said coyly as he looked down. "See you on Monday for practice."

"Yeah, ok," I said as I left the locker room. Most people weren't back from Hogsmead yet, so I took my books into the common room and found a place that was out of the way. I did work on a few papers that I had coming up due in a few weeks, as well as some of the reading assignments that I had. I watched as Lily flittered into the room, her face cheery and she had a shirt twisted around her hand. Kate and Shale were with her, laughing. If they hadn't been laughing, I would have been concerned that she was injured, but then I recognized the color of the shirt, Taryn's shirt, and I sat back down.

Frustrated, I slammed my book and tossed them on my bed. I sat for a bit across the common room watching Lily chat with her two friends animatedly. She held the shirt still, in her hand, and I knew she was fawning over that prick of a boyfriend. I saw Darla walk in the common room and I stood immediately. I barely looked away as I took Darla by the hand and led her out of the common room.

"Scorpius, hi," she said surprised as I practically drug her over to the nearest broom closet. I jerked the door open, disappointed to see that it was already occupied. After the third one I found, blissfully occupied, I opted for an empty classroom.

I didn't ask Darla for permission. Instead I gathered her up against me roughly and kissed her. I could feel her fingers tangling in my hair and I kissed her harder, not so much trying to hurt her as I was trying to erase anything else in me that wasn't her. Darla was my present and she was to be my future. It was time for me to grow up and quit lusting over any other silly little girl. I pulled Darla ever closer, not breaking the intensity between us.

Darla struggled against me after a moment, pushing at my shoulders. Reluctantly, I released her and she stumbled back a bit, panting. She looked at me warily, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. I stepped forward, apologetically. Her eyes were hesitant and I cupped her cheek.

"Sorry," I said quietly. "I got a little carried away."

"It's ok," Darla said quietly as she allowed me to wrap my arms around her. "It was just so… unexpected."

"I should have asked you for permission," I said as I kissed her forehead. "I don't know what came over me."

"It's ok. I missed you too," Darla said as she snuggled her face against my shoulder. I nodded wordlessly and felt terribly guilty for using Darla to try and crush the thoughts of another girl from my mind. Especially since it was something that was quite an epic fail for me.


	12. Ceiling

A/N: Continuing on…

Disc.: Manipulation, that's all.

* * *

Ceiling

I walked into the locker room on Monday afternoon, ready for practice. I had spent Sunday just laying with Darla out by the big tree and for once, she was quiet. It concerned me that she might have been frightened by my reaction to her. I had never been one to be so forceful, even when I wanted something I never just took. Typically, I would manipulate the other person until she or he gave me what I wanted, and best of all they believed it was their idea in the first place. I had stroked Darla's hair, just being still and silent with her. She had sent me word through her sister that she was going to the hospital ward for her 'issues'. I worried about her.

My eyes fell on Lily sitting on the bench near her locker. She didn't look up at me and I continued to my locker, changing out of my uniform and into my practice robes. I watched her curiously as Lily pulled on her own practice robes before she started positioning her shin guards into place. I waited for a minute while she struggled to get her wrist guards on, looking rather silly while she tried to use her body to help pin the guard in place. I sighed and walked over to her.

"Need some help?" I offered as I stood there. She looked up at me in surprise, her eyes widened slightly. I took the seat across from her and held out my hands to her. She looked down at them then back at my face. Lily shrugged.

"Sure," Lily said as she extended her wrists to me. Her skin was soft under my fingers as I adjusted the guards.

"You want to make sure they are snug so that you don't get fatigued early on," I told her quietly as I pulled the rigid inserts into a proper place. "You'll learn how to effectively strap them on yourself, but until you do, make sure someone checks the tightness. We can't afford to have one of our beaters getting hurt."

"So sweet of you to be concerned," Lily said to me softly as I pulled the Velcro tight, securing it.

"Of course, I'd be concerned about you, Lils," I said looking at her almost surprised that she could even question it. I took a deep breath, trying to ignore how hard my heart was racing while her hands were in mine. "We're friends. That's why I want to talk to you about Taryn."

"He already told me what happened," Lily said quickly in an almost defensive tone. She pulled her hands out of mine. "I can see where you'd misunderstand but he threw out the number that forward waitress gave him."

"Lily, I don't think you quite understand," I started slowly as I looked at her. "He practically grabbed the waitress in a very inappropriate place."

"Taryn isn't like that," Lily defended. I took a calming breath, refusing to get angry. Taryn didn't deserve Lily defending him like she was.

"I don't think you know him quite as well as you think you do," I challenged quietly. "Guys like him are only out for one thing."

"Funny," Lily said standing. She grabbed her broom and started toward the door. "Taryn said the same thing about you." I exhaled, frustrated as she walked through the double doors. Of course Taryn would say that. Sighing, I grabbed my own broom and headed for the field, ready for Flint to give me his worst.

Flint did not disappoint and by the end of our practice, we were all sweaty and panting, standing in a line. Each of us held our brooms to our right, our dominant hands, aside from Lily who I saw was holding hers in her left hand. Flint spent the better part of the end of the practice screaming at Elena, Damon, and myself. His face turned an almost puce color as he shouted.

"West, if I need to I will coat your hand in glue if you think it'd help you keep the Quaffle in your hands," Flint threatened. I heard an exclamation from somewhere down the line but I knew better than to try and look. Flint would have had me running muggle sprints or something. When we were finally dismissed, we all drug ourselves into the various shower vestibules. I was a little irritated when I stepped free of my shower, shivering. There never seemed to be enough hot water to go around.

At dinner that night, Lily's crossness at me didn't rear itself. She sat between Shale and Damon, across from Darla. I held Darla's hand under the table for part of the night while we ate while. Lily was in a great mood, giggling at Damon's corny jokes and playfully getting onto Shale for stealing a roll from her plate. Kate, Darla, and Lily discussed a third year girls dormitory slumber party.

I went to bed early, my muscle sore. I didn't have patrol, so it worked wonderfully and I slept soundly, like the dead. I woke up feeling refresh that next morning, stretching and climbing from my bed. I looked at myself in the mirror as I dressed, Damon raising his eyebrow at me with a smirk. I rolled my eyes as he began to mimic my dressing moves.

"Maybe if you did a better job, you'd look neater," I suggested as he pretended to straighten his tie at the same time I was straightening mine. I laughed. "Are you going to muggle mime school once you leave here?"

"A mime is a terrible thing to waste," Damon teased laughing. I groaned at his cheesy joke.

"You know, you fail at miming. I don't think you're supposed to talk," I said. I thought about that for a moment. "In that case, you really should strive to be the best silent mime you can be, Dame."

"Very funny, Score," Damon laughed as the two of us walked out into the common room.

"Are you coming to breakfast?" I asked as he leaned against the back of the couch.

"I'm waiting on Elena," Damon said. I raised my eyebrow and nodded once. "Are you going to wait for Darla?"

"No, she's laid up in the hospital wing with womanly issues or something, again," I said making a slight face. Damon wrinkled his nose and waved me off. I wasn't surprised to find myself sitting at the table with so few people. It seemed like everyone was having a slow start this Tuesday. Glancing around, I grabbed the plate of bacon and dumped it on my plate, knowing that at any minute Damon would be down here complaining that there was no bacon. I laughed quickly then stopped, realizing that if anyone crossed by me laughing alone, I risked being classified as a nutter.

A few people quickly joined me, gathering up the better breakfast choices while the sleepier, slower Slytherins missed out. I wondered what was taking Damon and Elena so long when I saw Lily heading my way looking rather exhausted. I glanced up as Lily huffily took the seat next to me, throwing her bag on the floor at her feet.

"Why so down?" I asked as she glanced around crossly. Lily looked at me suddenly then to the large pile of bacon in front of me. I grinned.

"No bacon makes for a bad day," Lily said pouting. She glanced at my pile again, barely restraining from licking her lips.

"Would you like a piece or two?" I said lowering my voice and picking up a piece, slowly putting it in my mouth.

"Very much so," Lily said in an almost defeated voice.

"What will you give me?" I taunted. Lily's smile faltered as her eyes met mine. There was a hint of uncertainty in them raging war with her desire for the bacon.

"What do you want?" Lily asked me hesitantly. Knowing that she was probably thinking I'd ask for something bad, I smiled. Truth be told, I had no clue. I was just teasing her and making it up as I went along.

"Nothing bad, but I'll have to think about what it will be later," I promised as I picked up a few crisp pieces. "So, do we have a deal?"

"I don't know," Lily said hesitantly again, her eyes following the pieces as I waved them in front of her face. I smirked and shrugged.

"Sucks for you because this bacon is so crispy and tasty," I taunted as I went to put them in my mouth, slowly and carefully bringing them closer. Lily groaned.

"Ok, ok," Lily said snatching the bacon from my hand. "You're so mean."

"I'm a business man," I explained laughing.

"So, where's your shadow?" Lily asked after a minute.

"Darla's in the hospital wing with womanly issues," I said rolling my eyes without meaning too. I am sure that Darla's womanly issues were bad, but I never heard of another girl in the whole school being unable to do anything for three days of the month. I didn't mean to come off as indifferent, after all I didn't have those parts, but it seemed awfully extreme and trying to talk to Darla about it sent her into a mood according to her sister, Elena, so I never brought it up.

"This bacon is so good," Lily said. I grinned as I boldly scooted closer to her, now that the students around us had made themselves scarce. I went to say something, to crack some random joke, when Professor McGonagall burst into the Great Hall. Everyone, including Lily and myself, turned to look.

"Classes have been canceled for today," she announced loudly. Cheers went up around the Great Hall, my voice as loud as anyone other. They rarely canceled classes and I didn't care why it was canceled. That was not the sentiment, however, with all of the students and goody two-shoes Rose Weasley jumped up.

"Why?" Rose demanded before she realized who she was sassing off to. I was surprised that Rose actually had a voice that could project as loudly as hers did. I wondered if Lily's could, too, if she felt strongly enough to speak out. Professor McGonagall gave Rose a look and she sat back down quickly.

"Someone took it upon themselves to glue everything to the ceiling of all the classes," Professor McGonagall said. I laughed aloud, standing and following the throngs of students that were abandoning breakfast to see this sight. In every countless classroom, someone had repositioned every last piece of furniture to the ceiling with some sort of magical adhesive. It was brilliant. Lily was standing in the doorway of one of the charms classrooms, a fist full of bacon in her hand. I pushed forward, bending my mouth down near her ear so that no one could overhear me.

"Your brother's a genius," I whispered in Lily's ear, causing her to shiver involuntarily.

"Hmm," Lily murmured noncommittally, not looking at me. She took a bite of bacon.

"Is that my bacon?" I accused grinning at her. She turned around to face me, a smile on her face almost as angelic and innocent as a virginal first year. She hid the bacon behind her back, not letting me see.

"What bacon?" Lily laughed as she took off back to the common room. I laughed and contemplated following her but Damon and Elena caught up with me, laughing at the sight.

"I swear, that Albus Potter is a bloody genius," Damon said as he admired the handiwork. "Such attention to detail. Such skill. He should have been a Slytherin."

"As if Slytherin could handle two Potters," Elena laughed. "That Lily's a prankster enough on her own, or so the rumors go."

"Lily?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah," Elena said lowering her voice. "Rumor has it that she was out all night long. Probably came to help the other Potter."

"Gryffindors and Slytherins working together?" I asked in mock indignation. "What is the world coming too?"


	13. Yet More Quidditch

**A/N:** Continuing… thank you to all of you who are reading and reviewing. I do appreciate it. It make it worthwhile on so many levels. This chapter is a long one and probably should have been subdivided, but it's not.

**Disc.:** The challenge is to create something new out of something that is not.

* * *

**Yet More Quidditch**

I glanced at Lily while we headed to the field to play Gryffindor. It was her first official game and she looked a little nervous. For a brief moment, I could have sworn that she was going to bolt out of there, that or puke, but she didn't. I caught her eye, smiling reassuringly at her, before our team took to the air. I guess the Gryffindors thought that Lily would be easy on her brother, James, because they kept passing him the Quaffle. I nearly laughed the first time I glanced up to see Lily send a line drive Bludger, right at his head. It was good that I looked up at them because I would have hated myself had I missed Lily's perfectly executed Bludger contacting with the side of James' head. He had moved slightly, but it still clipped him and gave him one hell of a minor concussion.

We killed the Gryffindors that game. It was spectacular! When Nice caught our Snitch, the Slytherin house roared in celebration and our team collapsed in on itself, hugging and patting each other's back. I could pin point the moment that Lily's arms wrapped around me, her scent and warmth engulfing me quite tauntingly, and I could feel the distant disappointment as they went away, a chilling longing left in her absence. There was no time to dwell because I had screaming in my ears as Darla attacked, proud of me and quite vocal about it. I kissed her, and quite enjoyed it for the moment. Nothing is sweeter than a victory kiss.

We had a hell of a victory party, the days of the stuffy tea party victory celebrations gone out with the seventh years last year. The whole dungeon was decked out in green and silver streamers, large tables piled high with victory. There were bottles of butter beer for the younger students and stolen sippers of fire whiskey for us older students. I stood in the middle of the large group, Darla's hand firmly in mine, as I talked technique. It was a while before I noticed that Lily was not at the celebratory party.

"Where's Lily?" I asked casually as I looked away from Darla to Damon. Damon shrugged and looked around.

"You know what? I've not seen her since we left the locker room," Damon said glancing up at the clock.

"Maybe Flint knows?" I suggested casually. I shrugged like Lily's whereabouts were of no consequence to me though suddenly the idea was at the forefront of my mind. It was irritating how quickly all my thoughts turned to her. Damon shrugged and placed his cup down.

"I'd better go check," he said laughing. "You know how much trouble our darling little third years can get into."

"Ok," I said casually as I turned to Darla. "Do you want a drink or something?"

"No, I'm good," Darla said. I grinned.

"Ok, mind if I head off to chat with a few people? I'll be back to collect you later," I said kissing her cheek. I didn't wait for her response, but instead headed away. I mingled with others, waiting until the last minute to return to Darla's side. She looked a little annoyed, but I didn't push it. I spent a little time with her, not really paying much attention to Darla until she looked at me with a pale face.

"Hey, kiddo, you ok?" I asked as I looked at her.

"No…" Darla said weakly. "I think I should go to the hospital wing and see Madame Pomphrey." I looked at her for a moment, calculating the days up in my mind, and nodded. It was that time of the month again, of course. Always, it seemed. This was going to get old when we were married, surely, and I couldn't even imagine how she would be if we had children. She didn't seem as hearty all of a sudden, her frailness coming across as I slipped my arm behind her and taking most of her weight on me, carrying her out of the portrait hole.

Darla was nothing to ease into a hospital bed as far from James Potter as possible. I barely glanced over at him, to see that Lily had done a wonderful job hitting him in the head with the bludger. While he'd probably look fine in the morning, his head looked a little lopsided at the moment and horribly bruised. I nearly laughed but my attention was drawn towards Darla and her now inconsolable crying. Madame Pomphrey was shaking her head, looking at Darla with such sympathy, but said nothing as she shoo-ed me out of the hospital wing.

I was worried about Darla as I walked back to the common room. It just didn't seem normal for her to be in so much pain and to be so weak after what seemed like a common, normal girl thing. I never saw any other girls practically living in the hospital ward during their monthly, not even Darla's sister, but it wasn't like I was really going to walk around and ask girls about that. My mind immediately thought of Lily. I knew that if there was anyone other than Elena that I'd ask, she would be it.

"Hey, man. I came looking for you," Damon said as I entered the dormitory. I was already in the process of taking off my tie when I glanced at him, the boy lounging out on his bed with a book.

"I had to take Darla to the hospital ward," I said casually. Damon raised an eyebrow at me but didn't say anything. He didn't want to talk about it anymore than I wanted to.

"So, I figured out where Lily ended up going," Damon said rolling his eyes. I paused and waited for him to tell me but Damon was just grinning at me.

"So? Where'd she go?" I finally asked when I realized that he wasn't going to just tell me.

"She spent the whole time up in the hospital ward, hanging around her brother," Damon told me. "I ran into her on my way to nick some more butter beers from the kitchens."

"That must've been miserable," I said casually as I pulled my shirt free and started dressing in my favorite sleep shorts. "You couldn't pay me to hang out with a bunch of Gryffindors on purpose. Not for any length of time."

"Yeah, well she's related to a few of them, so maybe they're nicer to her?" Damon suggested. "Anyways, she felt bad about her brother's face. But don't worry, she told me she'd not hesitate to bust him in the head with a bludger again, if need be."

"Good to know," I said laughing.

"Hey, Score," Elena said as she walked in our room. Instinctively, I pulled my shirt to cover my chest.

"Hey!" I complained.

"Sorry, I should have knocked," Elena said laughing slightly. "Anyways, I wanted to let you know that Darla and I are leaving tonight for a few days. Our Great Aunt Penny died this evening and we have to go for the wake and what not."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Damon piped up as he offered her his arms. She rolled her eyes.

"It was Dragon Pox, and I'm not so upset about it," Elena confessed as she waved her hand around dismissively. "She was a mean old bag and no one liked her, not even her husband, Uncle NiCad. We just have to go for the funeral, since it was my mom's aunt and all."

"Oh, well, I hope you guys travel safe," I said.

"Thanks," Elena said. "Do you know where Darla is?"

"Hospital ward," I told her. Elena paused for a minute and groaned, rolling her eyes.

"I swear that sister of mine is such a hypochondriac," Elena said shaking her head. "Heaven forbid there is ever something actually wrong with her. She'd probably die."

"Probably," I laughed and Elena left, waving.

With no Darla around, I wandered around for a while that next day. I found myself outside of the library and without a second thought, I pushed through the door and took a glance around. I was getting ready to turn around and leave when I saw Lily sitting at a table all alone, a few pieces of parchment before her. She wasn't looking at her papers, instead she was staring off into space, a dazed look upon her face. I studied her a moment, her hair twisted around a pencil and pinned in her hair. A few strands looked as if they had escaped and had no intention on rejoining their auburn haired brothers.

"Hey, Lily," I called despite getting a dirty look from Madame Pince. I expected Lily to look up and shush me, or for her to smile, but Lily didn't look, lost in her thoughts. I walked closer, not saying anything. I stood next to her for a good minute, certain that she was going to acknowledge me in some way, but she was still staring off into space. I reached forward and touched her arm, causing her to jump. Her cheeks turned bright red and reflexively, she tucked her hair behind her ear.

"What are you so lost into thought with that you didn't hear me?" I asked with amusement. She blushed harder.

"Just reliving the glory of the game," Lily admitted with an embarrassed grin. I smiled, nodding. I had been prone to daydreaming in my early years of Quidditch, reliving exceptional games.

"That was a hell of a game. I have to say I'm proud of you," I said grinning. I was proud of her. I had doubted whether she really would be able to play rough against her family, and yet she seemed ready and willing to put her brother in his place during our first game against Gryffindor.

"I'm just one player," Lily reminded me modestly. "The win was all of us working together, well that and West keeping the Quaffle in his hands for a change."

"Too true," I laughed. It had been a team effort, and we all worked so well together on the team. Still, her modesty was surprising. Most Quidditch players were a little full of themselves, including me. Her ability to share the credit was refreshing in an innocent way.

"Where's Darla?" Lily wondered aloud. Reflexively, I made a face.

"Why do you always ask about her?" I asked in annoyance. Lily glanced at me, her eyes were wide with surprise.

"It's really more for me than for you," Lily admitted. I looked at her curiously but didn't reply. I wanted to ask her what she meant by that. I wondered why she needed to remind herself of Darla, but I couldn't bring myself to voice the words. It wouldn't make it any better to know what she was thinking, or how she felt about me. What would the point be to know that she felt the same for me as I felt for her. We looked at each other for a moment, and I knew without knowing. We couldn't speak of it, though, because we both knew that nothing could come of it.

"She's with her sister," I said after a minute more of silence between us. "Her Great Aunt Somebody or the other died of Dragon Pox."

"Oh, how awful," Lily shaking her head, "you'll give her my apologies?"

"Yes, of course," I promised. Madame Pince glared at me and I looked away, towards Lily, as I sat down next to her. I watched Lily a bit more, studying her face.

"Wow, Dragon Pox," Lily murmured as she bit her bottom lip in thought. The thought crossed my mind for a brief moment to help her with that but I forced it to the back of my mind. "I didn't think it was really that fatal."

"I don't know," I replied, pulled from my internal struggle. "I don't know how old the aunt was. Maybe age has something to do with it."

"I'm really sorry, Score," Lily said as she placed her hand on my shoulder. I could feel the slight weight and the immense warmth that radiated from her hand and I very nearly convulsed from it.

"Why are you apologizing to me?" I asked her uncertainly. I tried to smile but it was wrought with confusion and I heard Lily shy as she smiled at me, sympathy overflowing from her eyes.

"You've lost a part of your future family," Lily reminded me gently.

"Lils, I didn't know the lady and Darla and I aren't married yet," I reminded her in return. I took a deep breath and added unintentionally aloud, "Or ever if I could convince my grandfather." I paused, looking at Lily, uncertain as to what her reaction would be. She smiled ruefully.

"Good luck with that," Lily said with a laugh suppressed in her words. "Lucius isn't one that gets swayed easily."

"You're telling me," I agreed, nearly laughing myself. "If my grandmother and father would let him, he'd have me marked with that antiquated dark mark on my next birthday."

"No, really," Lily exclaimed quietly, not trying to draw the attention of Madame Pince to us. She looked at me with horror and slowly removed her hand from my shoulder.

"Yeah," I confirmed. Seeing her terrified face, I added quickly, "Hey, he's not going to. It's illegal now, you know, to brand groups. Plus I don't want him marring my forearm."

"Hmm," Lily said as she pushed back the sleeve to my shirt. I held my breath as she rand her finger along the skin of my forearm, right where a dark mar would have been burned, had my grandfather had his way. The twist behind my navel was intense, the clamp of wanton desire warning the rest of me that there would be no resolve it the assault continued. She breathed quietly, "It is a nice forearm." I couldn't control the intense shudder that rippled through me, nor the need she was waking with in me. I laughed it off, her approval of my body, and I brushed her finger from my arm quickly before I pulled her into my lap or pinned her to the library table in front of all those students and Madame Pince.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" I asked quickly, needing to put a little distance between us or to get some fresh air. My craving for her continued to burn, the ache peaking uncomfortably as I denied it. Lily looked down at the partially written paper before her.

"I really should work on this essay," Lily said slowly as she looked at me. I gave her one of my most pleading looks, not wanting to be apart from her but not certain that I could maintain my distance much longer. I leaned forward fighting the urge to kiss her as my resolve crumbled around me.

"C'mon Lily," I whispered. My mouth inched closer to hers and I had to force myself to whisper in her ear to keep from kissing her. "I won't bite."

"I think that your biting me is the least of my worries," Lily teased me in an almost breathless way. She was better at it than I was: the control. I could see the darkening desire in her eyes, even if she would deny it. Lily took a breath and nodded, shoving her belonging in her bag quickly, eagerly.

"Did you write Taryn of your success?" I asked quickly. I didn't want to talk about Taryn, or to remind Lily of Taryn, but I had to. As Lily had to ask about Darla for her own well being, to remind Lily that I was not available, so did I of Taryn. Lily and I could never be, no matter how much we seemed drawn to each other. I sighed in a painful relief as Lily stood, nodding. I was already on my feet.

"You know, I wish you weren't so much taller than me," Lily said changing the subject, leading away from the subject of her boyfriend. My momentary distraction had cleared my head just enough to regain breathing for the moment. "You're going to give me a crick in the neck from looking up at you."

"Awe, you look up to me?" I teased as I slouched down to be more her height. It bothered my shoulders and back to be scrunched up like that. "Is this better?"

"Stop," Lily laughed as she hit my shoulder playfully. I started to right myself almost immediately, the position not comfortable. "That's terrible for your posture."

"Whew, good, because it was so uncomfortable," I admitted as the two of us headed out of the library. Lily laughed at me and we headed toward the common room so that she could drop off her bag. She grabbed her sweater, surprisingly, and the two of us headed out onto the grounds.

"Feels like it's going to be a hard winter," Lily said as she pulled her sweater tighter around her. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, to hold her. I wanted to draw her up in my arms and crush my mouth against her until she was breathless. I nearly stopped at the rapid path of my thoughts. So much for the fresh air clearing my head. "Here we are on the cusp of October and the leaves are already changing and there is chill in the air."

"Better?" I said stiffly as I half-heartedly tossed one of my arms over her shoulders, knowing that it was all I could do without completely crossing a line that neither she nor I needed me to cross. I was the older student, I had to be in control.

"Y-yeah," Lily stuttered and I peeked down at her curiously.

"I wish things were different," I admitted without thought. I hesitated, regretting that I had let it slip.

"Yeah," Lily said to my surprise, the same remorse echoing in her own voice. My heart began to race at the thought that maybe she felt the same about me, again. Just maybe things were back to the way they had been before this mess got out, before Lily started dating Taryn and before she found out about Darla. I glanced around to see that we were fairly hidden from the school, and without thinking, I pulled Lily into my arms. I expected her to fight back, to resist me, but she surprised me by resting her head on my shoulder. How perfectly she fit there, her cheek against my heart. I wondered if she could hear the rapid tempo in which it was pounding out, the thumping confession of my love for her, Lily Potter. She looked up at me, her eyes were filled with curious caution and knowing, and my fingers touched her cheek so gently I had to really focus to figure out that I had reached out and touched her. Her skin was incredibly soft, warm, despite the chilly air.

"You know, I love you," I confessed quietly as if I didn't want anyone to hear, including her, even though we were utterly alone at the moment. "I hate that I do, because I can't be with you, but I love you."

"Scorpius," Lily protested. I touched her lips gently with my finger, hushing her, as I ignored the intense desire to replace my fingers against her lips with my own lips, to part them, to taste her.

"Shh," I breathed, barely hanging on to my sanity. "Give me this moment, please. For this moment let's just pretended that nothing is standing in our way. There are no boyfriends, no girlfriends. Just let's pretend that it's just you and me."

"I want to," Lily said as her own resolve was slipping away and I nodded, almost encouraged. I bit my lip hard, trying to hold back, but lost and I leaned my face into hers, my lips parted in anticipation, as if I had no control over myself any longer. It was Lily who had to be the voice of reason, the one to keep us sane, as she turned her head and continued in a strained voice, "I just can't."

"I… I understand," I breathed after my mind caught up with what my body had intended. Sensibility flooded me as heat rose to my cheeks. I immediately released her, though reluctantly. "I'm sorry, Lily. I shouldn't have even suggested it."

"It's ok," Lily said distantly. She wasn't looking at me, instead she focused on the sky. "We should head back. It's nearly dinner time."

"Yeah," I said in disappointment, not for the situation but for my lack of control.

"I'm sorry," Lily apologized looking up at me. She forced a smile, as if through it she was forgiving me. I felt horrible. "You know I'd be more than happy to have you be my first real kiss, but I can't cheat on Taryn. Plus, you have Darla and this wouldn't be fair to either of them."

"You're right, Lils," I agreed though inside I hated them and myself and the cosmos. I quickly kissed Lily's cheek, figuring I was damned anyways. I didn't look at her, not wanting to see her response, and instead, I suggested dinner. "Let's go to dinner."

I sat the whole night, thinking and beating myself up inside, first about the fact that I had gone so far as making Lily feel bad about turning me down then about the fact that I wanted nothing more than to be her first real kiss. I had kissed plenty of girls, plenty of times, and I had Darla to kiss, but something about Lily's never having had a kiss, a real kiss, called to me like nothing I had ever felt before. I watched her eating, watched her talking. Her mouth called to me, beaconing for me to close the gap between us. Hurriedly, I shoved the last of my food in my mouth and fled the table, unable to stop myself. If I had waited a moment more, I realized as I pushed through the great hall doors, I would never have been able to stop myself from kissing Lily Potter right there and then.

Much like her second year, one of us avoided the other like the plague, only this time, I avoided her without a word or reason. I would catch her eye across the room, the look of confusion and hurt on her face, and I would run off to take extra patrols or spend time alone with Darla. Darla was confused about the sudden change in my attention, though she reveled in it. During practices, I stayed a step ahead of Lily, and was surprised that she was giving me my space, something I didn't have the decency to do for her. It made me feel even guiltier. She was a far better friend to me than I had been to her.

I had to force myself not to run from her when I saw Lily heading my way on the morning of the Slytherin-Ravenclaw Quidditch game. Instead, I held the door open while I continued to talk to Damon. She glanced at me wordlessly and headed to her locker, starting to suit up for the game. I watched her while she pulled her clothes free of her body, her under Quidditch garments hugging her body. I couldn't tear my eyes away, but I was happy that no one seemed to take any notice of me.

"Alright, everyone, line up, let's kill these Ravenclaw losers," Flint barked. I snickered as I queued up behind Lily. I could smell her shampoo as she pulled her hair up in a pony tail. Damon was standing in front of her and I leaned forward, my mouth down by her ear. I heard her inhale sharply.

"My first goal is for you," I whispered so that only she could hear. She turned to say something to me but we were all ushered out into the pitch to play. The air hit us much like a brick of ice. We took to the air, the wind stinging our eyes, abasing our cheeks. It was harsh out there in the air, the Quaffle felt like a block of ice as it slapped in my hand. I struggled to keep my broom on course as I flew up to the goal post to pass it through the hoop.

Professor Wood blew his whistle, signaling the end of the game and I glanced at the score board, groaning. We had lost by ten points, and I immediately glared at Nice for a moment before I landed on the nearly frozen ground beside Lily. Lily looked disappointed but she patted my shoulder none the less in a reassuring manner. I turned to grin at her but it happened so fast. One minute, she was standing next to me consoling me, the next a bludger came out of nowhere, connecting hard with the side of her face, full on. I grabbed for her as her legs buckled for a moment. I was so certain that she was going to pass out.

She was tougher than I gave her credit for and she regained her balance. Lily jerked out of my arms and tore down the field faster than I had ever seen an injured person run, chasing the Ravenclaw beater, Rhett Brookes. I ran after her but Lily made it to the beater first and had knocked him to the ground, her tiny fists clenched as she pounded into him.

"Lily! Stop!" I yelled as Lily continued to wail into the boy, his arms up to protect him. I grabbed Lily by the back of her robes, jerking her up off of the beater that she had expertly pinned to the ground. She was as light as I assumed that she would be, but she struggled against my grip, trying to get back to hitting the boy.

"He knew that the game was over!" Lily shouted as she twisted and lunged, trying to continue the working over she was dealing the boy. I looked down at the fourth year beater who was sobbing on the ground, his front two teeth missing and his face covered in blood. Professor Wood had appeared out of nowhere, his wand in his hand, as he looked at the beater. Giving the ok, he sent the beater to the hospital ward.

"She'll grow your teeth back, son," Wood called to the boy who was now weeping. He turned and looked at Lily. "Let's see what we've got here."

"Brookes hit her with a bludger well after the call of the win," I explained as Professor Wood tilted Lily's face to get a better look at it. I looked, too, to see the damage. Her cheek was already dark purple, the front of her robes were covered in her own blood.

"Maybe you should go get checked out by Madame Pomphrey," Professor Wood said cringing. "Faces aren't meant to stop bludgers."

"I'll be ok," Lily protested. I snorted at her bull-headedness and knew that she wasn't fine. Her face was swollen and it looked like it had to hurt. I could only imagine how bad it would look in good lighting as icy raindrops began to pelt at us from the sky.

"Take Potter up there, Malfoy," Flint said to me before he turned to Lily. "Malfoy's going to stay with you to make sure you actually go and get honest treatment. Great left hook, by the way." I led the way, staying only half a step in front of Lily, listening for her to try and escape.

"I can't believe I hit him," Lily said in an awe-filled voice as we walked back to the castle. I glanced back at her to see Lily examining her fist, scrapes and abrasions crisscrossing the delicate cream colored skin from where she exacted her revenge on Brookes.

"I can't believe we didn't get to him first," I admitted. Once inside the castle, I turned to her and got a good at Lily's face. I touched her chin tenderly, turning her face toward the torch to get a better look at the damage that the bludger created. I couldn't help but cringe. It looked like it hurt like hell and her cheek was nearly black it was so bruised. "Does it hurt?"

"Yeah," Lily said as she reached up and touched her bruised cheek with her finger. She cringed under her own touch, so I didn't dare.

"I bet," I said. I hesitated a moment before I dropped my hand from under her chin. "I'm surprised you didn't cry, to be honest."

"I did, you just didn't see me," Lily admitted as she forced a grin. She wiped her bruise-free cheek and held up two fingers, something invisible glistening. "I have two older brothers and older cousins. I am the baby. You just don't let them see you cry."

"Awe," I said tenderly as I put my arm around her shoulder, jostling her gently. "I wouldn't have made fun of you. Maybe brushed away your tears and… well… we'll just leave it at that."

"Yeah, probably for the best," Lily said smirking as she looked up at me. I guess her attempt at the smirk hurt more than she let on, but still she cringed slightly despite her obvious attempt to look brave in front of me. We continued to the hospital ward, Madame Pomphrey looking up as we walked in. She shook her head and made a sound of displeased contempt.

"Sit here and change…" Madame Pomphrey said directing Lily to one of the curtained hospital vestibules. Lily grinned at me sheepishly, following it up with a cringe.

"I don't think you want to stick around for the end part of this undressing," Lily said blushing slightly, at least from what I could tell from her non-bruised side. My heart started racing and I stepped out of the area, turning my back to the small enclosure despite there being a perfectly proper barrier up. Madame Pomphrey remained behind the screen, doing whatever it was that she was doing.

"You can go back in, she's decent," Madame Pomphrey said as she nodded toward the bed as she pulled back the privacy curtains. I nodded once and headed in. Lily looked so frail laying on the bed, the bruising already looked like it was fading slightly.

"So, I hope you don't mind," Lily said as I slipped my hand into her hand and stood beside her sickbed. "I volunteered you to sit with me while the skele-patch fixes the fractures in my skull. Apparently that Ravenclaw idiot cracked my head and now I'm not allowed to go to sleep until it's been six hours."

"I don't mind," I promised with a smile as I took a seat, knowing that I'd have sat by her bedside for a lifetime if she had asked.

I dropped her hand as James Potter entered the hospital ward with his cousin, Hugo. He glared at me but neither of us acknowledged each other as he checked her over. Before long, the tiny space was full of Slytherin teammates and the two Gryffindor players. Tensions ran high and I nearly laughed as Madame Pomphrey kicked them all out. James glared back at me as he pushed through the door and I smirked at him in response.

Dinner was brought up to us by a crazy little house elf. I ate silently and kept my eyes on Lily as she ate. Every once in a while, she would grimace or frown, though I wasn't sure if she was aware of it. Over all, her bruising had healed and she was nearly back to normal.

"Are you ok?" I asked as I looked at her again from over the tray I was eating. She had made a face again.

"I think I must have bit my lip," Lily said touching her mouth. I watched as she pulled her fingers away to see a faint pinkish red tint glinting off the light.

"Looks like it," I said quietly as I fished an ice cube out of the bucket of ice nearby. I wrapped it in my napkin and held it out to her. Her fingers brushed mine as she took it, electricity jolting awake my senses. "Hold this to your lip for a second or two. It should take the sting off of it."

"Thanks," Lily said after a few minutes. "That feels much better."

"Done here?" I asked as I reached for her tray, needing a distraction. She nodded once and I set them together with a few other trays that had been stacked up for other random sick people. I went to sit back down but Madame Pomphrey reentered, her robe tied around her night gown and her hair up in rollers. She checked Lily over quickly.

"Your temperature looks good and it's nearly been six hours," she said. "I think you'd be safe to sleep in your own bed tonight."

"Good," Lily said.

"Get dressed and I'll send you with a night pass," Madame Pomphrey said as she turned her back on Lily to get the pass. Lily went to stand and she swayed a second. I grabbed her around the waist, pinning her against the bed for a moment. My body burned with excitement at the thought that only the thin night gown and my Quidditch robes lay between us. She looked up at me in surprise, and there was something else in her eyes, something I didn't understand.

"Do you really think you're ready?" I forced myself to ask her as I remained against her. She nodded once, swallowing.

"Don't be silly," Lily breathed. "It was just a momentary sway. I'll be ok." I reluctantly pulled away from her and headed out of the curtained area, allowing her to dress while I got our pass. We left the hospital ward, slowly, walking along the empty corridors, not talking. Our hands kept bumping. I glanced down at her as she looked up at me, hesitation in her eyes. I stopped walking, uncertain. We both blushed. I didn't know what it meant, what she was trying to tell me with her body language and her eyes.

I held my breath as Lily bit her lip, looking up at me almost expectantly. She took a hesitant step closer, and it was all I needed, all the permission I would ever have needed. I snatched Lily's hand up and practically dragged her up the stairs of the astronomy tower. I expected her to resist, but she seemed just as eager to get up those stairs as I was. I dropped her hand and shoved the doors open to the exterior observatory, not caring if the sound woke the castle. All rational thought had left my mind.

The grounds lay before us, spanning for acres, cast in a silvery moonlight of the crescent moon. I watched carefully as Lily placed her hands on the rail, her head tilted up to look at the moon smiling at her among the millions of twinkling stars. The air was cool, not quite as bitter and biting as before, the storm seemed to have passed and left behind cool, fresh air. I stepped forward, cautious, and slipped my arms around her, Lily's back to me. She twisted around in my arms, her back turned to the grounds. I felt bold, careless all of a sudden. I wanted her. I needed her. I needed her like I have never needed another person in my entire life.

"Tonight, let's just pretend," I breathed, urging her to let loose the control and the things that held her back, us back. Lily closed her eyes and did not speak, and for a brief moment, I thought that I had finally crossed a line that I was not meant to cross. Instead, she tilted her head back, mouth slightly parted and welcoming, my silent answer. I lowered my mouth, closing the distance between us swiftly. I took things slow, made a conscious effort to be gently, despite the urge to roughly pin her to everything solid and kiss her so passionately that she would forget her name.

I slipped my hands to her face, buried my fingers in her hair. Our bodies clung to each other, like polar opposite magnets. We couldn't have pulled apart if we had wanted to. I felt her hands knotting in my own hair, her tongue danced with mine, shyly at first and then when more confidence as I guess she realized that she was good at this. I nearly smiled at the thought, despite her first kiss, she was good at kissing. I felt the urge to push this kiss further, to continue forward, but I struggled against that beast within me, though my resolve was weakening with every gentle whimper. I thrilled in the thought. I was Lily's first real kiss.


	14. Christmas the One

**A/N:** Thanks, again for those of you taking the time to read and review. As you remember, SLP had the Christmas chapters broken up into 3 parts… I think I am going to have to break it up a bit more… I am actually having a great time writing this from Scorpius' POV, mainly because there is so much that we were just not aware of going on when we were getting the story from Lily's POV. I know that there are few chapters a long ways down the road that we get a little Scorpius POV, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. So… without further ado, here is the next chapter.

**Disc.: **Manipulating the words.

* * *

** Christmas the One  
**

I had promised her that we would never talk about that night, and yet it played over and over in my head more times than I cared to admit. It caught me in the most inopportune times, a hitch would catch in my breath and my heart would start thundering in my chest. I looked at Darla, sitting across from me in the carriage as we hurtled through the country side towards King's Crossing. I took a deep breath and confessed.

"You kissed her?" Darla said in a quiet, defeated voice. She looked down at her hands, twisting them around each other as she thought.

"Yes," I said. She refused to look up at me. "I'm sorry, Darla. I tried, I've been trying."

"I know," she whispered.

"If I could change things, if I could change the way I feel, I would," I said quickly. She looked up at me, tears glistening in her eyes.

"I cared for you," she said.

"I know, and I care for you," I promised.

"But Lily…" Darla said nodding, understanding.

"I'm sorry, Darla, really," I said looking down.

"You know, your grandfather is going to kill you," Darla threatened. I nodded.

"I know," I said regretfully. I looked up at her, handing her a tissue. She dabbed at her eyes and stared at me.

"Maybe, maybe if I gave you time? Maybe if you got Lily out of your system," Darla suggested weakly. I knew what she was offering me. She was going to step aside and let me try to work with Lily.

"No, Darla, it's not like that. I'm not going to just get Lily out of my system," I said shaking my head. I looked at her quivering lip and it tore me to pieces. It wasn't Darla's fault that I couldn't love her like she deserved to be loved. Sure, she was annoying but Darla deserved someone who loved her. I had decided. I would never get married if I couldn't marry whoever I wanted. My grandfather would just have to disown me.

"But… but…" Darla stammered as she tried to form the words. She hung her head and I could see the tears dripping onto her lap.

"Darla," I said as I moved to put my arm around her. She pushed me away.

"We could try, I could… I could learn to live with that," Darla whispered. I knew she was trying to be strong, to show that I wasn't killing her a little with every moment.

"Darla, I can't do that to you," I told her as I tried to hold her hand. "You deserve someone that loves you."

"But…" Darla said as she trailed off. She acted as if she couldn't breathe, couldn't go on. Her eyes reflected the hurt and the rejection.

"You're a wonderful girl," I told her softly as I brushed her hair out of her face.

"So… that's it then? You won't even try?" She gasped as the tears streamed down her face. She didn't even bother blotting at them so I wiped them away with my hand.

"Darla, honey, you and I would never be truly happy together," I said quietly. "I want you to be happy."

"I'm sick, Scorpius," Darla blurted out in a sob. "Dying." My resolve faltered.

"What do you mean?" I asked slowly. Darla did, after all, have a tendency to be a drama queen, so it didn't surprise me to hear her use anything possible to keep me there with her, but then to claim… that she was dying… it seemed so extreme.

"Something's wrong with me," Darla whispered. She wasn't crying anymore as she looked at me. "All those times I have been up in the hospital ward… I wasn't really there."

"What?" I asked.

"Surely you noticed that I wasn't there the day that Lily got hit by the bludger," Darla said in a strained voice. "Surely you noticed."

"I… I didn't really…" I stuttered. Darla hung her head.

"I should have known, when you didn't ask me about not being there," Darla said frowning softly. She closed her eyes, fighting whatever demon was raging within her.

"Darla," I began morosely. She raised her hand to stop me, opening her eyes. They were bright with unshed tears.

"I guess, I should be grateful, really," Darla said sighing. "When I found out about it, I was concerned about you, how you'd do."

"Darla," I protested.

"No, listen to me, Scorpius," Darla said in a quiet voice, cutting me off. "Your grandfather told me not to tell you, but I can't just keep it to myself, Scorpius. I don't know how much time, really. The healers don't either."

"Darla, please," I begged her not caring that I sounded like I was weak or whiney. "What's wrong with you? Won't you tell me?"

"It's… fatal, that's all you need to know," Darla said. "It's not contagious. It's a genetic thing, so even if I wanted to, I couldn't have kids with you. Not knowing that I could pass it on."

"But… Elena…" I retorted as I ignored the loud noises that were outside in the corridor.

"Elena is without the enzyme, so she's fine… her body isn't destroying itself, cell by cell," Darla said almost bitterly.

"Is there no hope?" I breathed. Darla looked at me for a moment, closing her eyes as she shook her head.

"All my pain, all that time," Darla said in a whisper. "It wasn't 'woman troubles' but an autoimmune disease that was eating me up on the inside, destroying everything until it was found. Funny thing, you know?"

"What?" I moaned, my arm over my eyes as I tried to block out the horror of things. My betrothed, whether I wanted her or not, was dying and there was nothing I could do to spare her life.

"The very people that our fathers and grandfathers hated, the muggles and the muggle-born, it was a muggle doctor that ran the archaic tests and passed down the diagnosis," Darla breathed. "Though, it sounded more like a death sentence."

"Darla, I am so sorry," I said as I threw my arms around her. "I really am."

"Me too," she cried as she buried her face into my chest. I patted her back, stroking her hair. She knew that I didn't love her, not like she loved me, but I didn't like to see her hurting this way and she knew it. We sat like that until her tears subsided and dried. I finally released her and sat back against the seat next to her. I felt her hand on my cheek and realized that she was wiping away my tears. It was bitter sweet.

"You don't have to be strong," I promised her. "If you want, I can skip Christmas with my family and I can stay with you."

"What would that accomplish?" Darla asked softly. "I think it is time for us to admit to our families that this union isn't going to work."

"I don't want people to think I am ditching out on it because of your illness," I said. She turned to me and laughed.

"Well, I know that you're willing to wait out the thing to the end, but I don't want to," Darla said through a soft gaze. "Instead, I'm going to spend the time I have with my family, perhaps see a healer in Bermuda, and then after break, we'll see each other again."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"If anyone asks, until we are ready to tell our families, we're taking a breather," Darla said authoritatively. I closed my eyes for a moment then agreed.

"Ok," I whispered. She smiled at me when I opened my eyes.

"Once we get back to school, I want to do something for you," she told me and I looked at her curiously.

"For me?"

"Yeah," Darla mused with a curious glint in her eyes. "I know Lily Potter would make you happy, and at the same time would piss your grandfather off. I want to help you get Lily Potter."

"Help me… get Lily? But after what she and I have done?" I stammered. Darla shrugged slightly.

"You don't chose, can't chose, who you fall in love with," Darla said. "Plus… I want you to be happy, even after I am gone."

"Darla, really," I said as I realized I was wrapping my arms around her.

"Lesson One, Scorpius, Lily is a hopeless romantic, even if she never admits it," Darla said as the train began to slow.

"Really?" I asked uncertainly.

"Trust me. She and I have shared a dormitory since first year," Darla said. "She may seem all tomboy-ish and rough, but she's really a tender hearted girly-girl on the inside."

"You know, you don't have to do this," I told her as I stepped off the train before her. She looked up at me and nodded.

"I know," she said. "But consider it my dying gift to you. Only, you can't tell people… no one must know. People always treat you differently when they think you are sick."

"But you are," I reminded her and Darla actually rolled her eyes at me.

"As if I could forget," Darla said. The two of us glanced up to see Lily wave briefly at us before she disappeared through the barrier with her family. "She's completely, madly in love with you, too, so you know. The way you love her, only… probably more so."

"I don't think that's possible," I told her as I picked a piece of lint off my jacket. Darla laughed.

"She's said your name in her sleep," Darla teased gently. I looked up, my cheeks red with embarrassment.

"She never mentioned that," I said. Darla laughed again.

"I don't think she knew we heard her," Darla giggled slightly as Elena came up beside her. Elena looked at me and then at Darla, not certain what to think.

"We'd better get going, Darla," she told her younger sister, indicating that their mother was waiting for them. I wrapped my arms around Darla tightly.

"I'll see you on the train on the way back to school, y'here?" I whispered in her ear.

"Of course," she said and I kissed her cheek. I didn't know that it was the last time that I would ever see Darla. At the time, I felt free, buoyant as I walked towards my father waiting for me. He looked at me, an eye brow raised and we walked toward the apparation vestibule.

"We have a problem, Scorpius," Dad said as I looked down at my suitcase. I raise my own eyebrow at him, matching his signature look. He nearly cracked a smile.

"A problem?" I asked.

"You can't come home," Dad said as he indicated to the suitcase. "Your grandparents have Dragon Pox and they're all green and spotty at the moment. It's worse in the ill and elderly, and well… things are not pleasant with Dad at the moment."

"Ah," I said. "Um, ok… so where am I going to stay for the holiday?"

"I have an idea, only… I think you're not going to be too thrilled," Dad said as he picked up my suitcase in his hand and offered me his arm. I took it as I tried to ask, but the wind was knocked out of me and I couldn't get in a word edgewise. We landed on the front stoop of a small house on a long street of identical houses.

"Where are we?" I asked curiously. I didn't recognize the house or anything. It had a cute yard in the front with was probably nice landscaping had it not been so darn cold.

"A coworkers' house," he said evasively. I looked at him.

"What coworkers' house?" I pressed. He laughed.

"Don't worry, it's a Slytherin house," he told me. He coughed turning his head and I swear I heard him tack on, "sort of." I didn't get a chance to ask, though, because a minivan full of people pulled into the driveway and I froze, recognizing the driver. Gold rimmed glasses, wild dark hair, and that famed lightening bolt scar, anyone would have recognized the driver as Harry Potter.

"Lily's DAD?" I choked out as Harry stepped free of the van, looking rather… put off. He tapped his wand on the van and strolled over to us in a hurry.

"What's going on here, Draco?" Harry asked quickly. I thought he had been cross, but if he had been, his words weren't cross.

"Sorry to pop by unannounced, Harry, but I didn't really know where else to bring him," Dad said hurriedly. "Lucius and Narcissa have both suddenly come down with a nasty case of Dragon Pox and I really can't have him at home."

"Of course," Harry agreed as he looked at me. I tried to look inconspicuous as I looked at him. I certainly didn't want him finding out that I had kissed his baby girl in the astronomy tower. As easy going as everyone always said he was, I doubt that he'd be that easy going about me kissing her.

"I was hoping, really, that I could leave him with you," Dad said apologetically. Harry paused a moment and he nodded, unlocking the door.

"Of course, of course," Harry said gesturing for us to go inside. "Let me just un-spell the van so the other kids can get out and I'll be right in. Make yourselves at home."

"Dad, seriously, the Potters?" I hissed at him angrily. "You could have asked me. You could have…"

"I was under the impression you liked Lily Potter," Dad teased quietly. I felt my face go bright red.

"I… but…" I sputtered as the others headed in the house. I glanced up to see Taryn standing there, his hand locked around Lily's hand and I knew that there was nowhere else I would dare be, if only to protect her from that bastard. Dad caught my eye and smiled knowingly.

"Rose, Hugo, help your selves to snacks Grandma Weasley sent over," Harry said tiredly as he sat across from Dad at the table. Harry rubbed the bridge of his nose slightly and I noticed that he was going a tad gray here and there. "Ok, guys and Lily, Scorpius is going to be stay with us for the holiday."

"Why?!" James and Taryn both protested. I turned to see Harry shoot them both rather annoyed looks and I nearly laughed. I didn't expect anything less from either of them, James as my long time foe, and Taryn must have suspected that I had a thing for Lily.

"Er, why?" They both sounded so falsely concerned it was sickening.

"Dragon Pox," Dad said and the others quickly moved away from me, as if I had the disease.

"I don't have them," I grumbled.

"My parents both seemed to have come down with it," Dad explained, though I didn't see where they really needed an explanation. Sometimes, I wondered if my dad really was ever a Slytherin, the way he always tended to be so damn diplomatic, even when it wasn't called for. "I have to be there to care for them, but Scorpius needn't catch it."

"Doesn't he have like a wife or something?" Taryn suggested hopefully.

"Darla and I are having a bit of a breather at the moment," I said meaningfully as I glanced Lily's way, but found her own eyes quickly going to the plate of cookies that Rose held out before her.

"Anyways," Harry said quickly. "We need to figure out where Scorpius can sleep." I had been curious about this, myself. I mean, James and I were nowhere near even civil enough, nor were Taryn and I. I was morbidly curious to see where Lily and Taryn were sleeping, and I hoped, prayed, that Harry was a more traditional father and the two weren't sharing a room.

"Not my room," James and Albus both said loudly, in protest. I nearly laughed. I had been expecting that. I saw Harry glare at James and I coughed to cover up a laugh.

"No offense, but Slytherin can sleep in the chamber of Gryffindor," James added quickly. I had figured as much.

"He can take my room," Lily said quietly as her eyes raised to meet mine. She was biting her lip slightly, as she figured it out in her head quickly, while trying to keep the peace. "Taryn can take Albus' room. Albus can bunk up with James and I'll sleep in the television room."

"That… would work," Harry said thinking through her planning. I saw his smile for her, the warmth evident and he nodded. "That would actually work fairly well, and yeah, that sounds like a plan. Taryn in Albus room so he doesn't have that whole Gryffindor complex and with Lily already being a Slytherin, that'd work perfectly."

"I can't very well banish Lily to a couch in the T.V. room," Taryn protested in what sounded more like a whine but was probably supposed to be chivalrous or something. I had been about to speak up, myself, but damn that Taryn beat me to it.

"Would you rather Lily and Scorpius share a private bathroom?" Albus muttered under his breath. I felt my breath catch at the thought, and a moment later Taryn still hadn't caught on. The confusion was easily notable, written permanently on his face and Albus had to explain. "Lily and I have a connecting bathroom and closet."

"Sleep well on the couch," Taryn told Lily as he patted her on the head like some sort of dog. It was degrading and I was surprised when all she did was roll her eyes at him. I'd have liked it better if she had punched him, or at least told him off. I really hated Taryn.

"It's a pull out sofa," Lily explained as she crossed her arms and sat back. At least her voice sounded indignant!

"Well, it's settled then," Harry said standing at the same time that Dad did, and the two shook their hands firmly as if confirming some important business deal instead of parking me at the Potter's for Christmas.

"You sure about this?" Dad asked concerned for a moment as I saw him look from me to Taryn to James and back. I'm sure Dad noticed the hostility between the three of us, neither of us liking each other. "I mean you already have a house guest."

"Of course," Harry said grinning at me. He winked at me, which was surprising. "Really, what's one more kid? We'll be fine, Draco."

"I do appreciate it," Dad said as he shook his head. "Dragon Pox of all things."

"It's going around, I hear," Harry commented as he walked Dad to the door. Dad looked at me one last time, nodding once, and left without another word to me.

"This is going to be a fun week," Taryn said sarcastically just loud enough that we could hear him but not loud enough that Lily's father would. I nearly laughed at the dirty look Lily shot at him. I watched her release Asher from his basket and the cat darted away from all of us and up the stairs of the house. Harry closed the door and looked at all of us, the Weasley kids, the Potters, Taryn, and myself. Almost anticipating something, he smiled.

"Lily why don't you show the boys where they will be sleeping," Harry suggested to his daughter and she nodded. She gathered her bag and indicated that we should follow her, Taryn and myself. The stairs and hall weren't terribly long and she stopped in front of a plain door, opening it and pushing the door wide. She turned to Taryn and smiled.

"This is Albus' room," Lily said. "Feel free to mess with all his toys."

"They're not toys! Their action figures!" Albus yelled from downstairs. I laughed quietly to myself at Lily's brother's response. I stood back, a few feet from the doorway as I watched Taryn walked in, dropping his stuff on the small twin sized bed. I felt a little ill watching Taryn as he wrapped his arms around Lily who had entered with him, and I felt unexplainable rage as he pulled her down onto the bed. She laughed, almost as if enjoying it, and jealousy raged from within me. I nearly cleared my throat to remind them that I was there.

"I can't say much can happen on a bed this small," Taryn teased as he kissed her neck and cheek. I wanted to shove my wand through his head for touching her, as irrational as that seemed. It annoyed me that she didn't protest harder, and instead she laughed and pulled away.

"My dad is just down the stairs," Lily protested. She glanced over to where I was standing, my arms crossed against my chest and I knew that my loathing for Taryn and my intense desire for her left her uncertain of what was evident on my face. I wasn't sure I understood it much, myself. I shouldn't have cared so much about her. She wasn't mine. She pulled away from Taryn, almost reluctantly, and stood. "Right, be back in a minute or two Taryn. I have to get Scorpius settled in."

"I'll be right here," Taryn said patting the bed he was still laying on. I hated that she laughed at his boldness, as if it was all a silly game to her. Taryn had pretty much told her that he wanted her in his bed, and yet Lily just laughed. I waited, patiently, as she exited the room and I shot Taryn a nasty look of contempt before I followed her down the hall. She stopped at the last door on the right, her hand on the knob, and she hesitated. She turned, biting her lip uncertainly in such a tempting way that I wanted to join her in that activity. She took a deep breath.

"I… I just wanted to say I've not redecorated my room since I was a little girl, so it's a bit… girly," Lily said in such a low voice that I had to lean in to hear her. Every inch closer was like tempting me a bit more with the thing I craved most, my addiction. Her face was hot, I could nearly feel the heat radiating off of her.

"I'm sure it's nothing I can't handle," I said in an almost dismissive voice. My heart picked up the tempo, suddenly excited that I would be sleeping in Lily's bed. While sleeping with her next to me would have been much more exciting, the idea of sleeping in her bed was pretty damn alluring on it's own. Lily turned the knob and pushed the door open, leading the way into her room.

"Wow," I breathed in a gust as I looked around the room. She wasn't kidding when she had told me that it was girly. Had I not seen it for myself, I wouldn't have ever believed it. At school, she came off as a tomboy, probably because of her kick-ass Quidditch skills, but here, at her home, her domicile. It reeked of femininity that I never would have associated with Lily Potter, Slytherin Beater. Pink and frills and lace were everywhere. She had a princess canopy and the room honestly looked as if a literally femininity oozed from every surface.

"Told you," Lily said as she also looked around the room. My eyes landed on her cat, Asher, as he lazily looked up from his spot in the middle of Lily's bed.

"Well, it's very pink," I teased playfully. Lily groaned and turned to flee but I anticipated it and I grabbed her hand before she could leave. It felt so right, her hand in mine. "No, really it is great. Thanks for giving up your room but you know, I'll gladly take the pull out sofa." Secretly, I hoped that she'd turn me down, the idea of Taryn being so close to her, to be able to walk through their shared bathroom undetected bothered me.

"Grandmother Weasley says that it is bad karma to not allow guest to sleep in the bedrooms," Lily told me. I didn't know much about Karma, but I had a bad feeling about Taryn, and this wasn't going to be something that I would insist on her too much, her taking her own bed. Plus, I was morbidly curious to see what it would be like to lay beneath Lily's bedding naked. The idea excited me and I dropped her hand, turning for a moment so that I could coax my tension to at least wait until we were alone, it and I. Lily, thankfully, was unaware. "I don't mind, anyways. The sofa bed is quite comfortable."

"Do you think you and I can hang out a bit this break, just you and I?" I asked her as I turned back to see her face. Lily hesitated, glancing at the doors that lead to the adjoining closet and bathroom, which caused me to look as well. Right, the boyfriend. It made sense that she was hesitant to want to spend time with me alone when she had her boyfriend so close.

"I… we can see how it goes, ok?" Lily promised so diplomatically should could have been my father's daughter. He was always leaving things open ended like that. It drove me nuts, but I wasn't going to say that to Lily.

"Ok," I replied simply as I nodded.

"Why didn't your dad hug you good-bye?" Lily asked me after a brief moment. It was not something I thought she'd ask me and it caught me off guard. I shrugged and moved away from her, placing my bag on her bed.

"Dad's never been a hugger," I confessed quietly. "He hasn't hugged anyone since my mum died. She was the last person he hugged."

"That had to have been hard," Lily said with such sympathy that it nearly made me want to break down and cry. I never talked about my mother, and I really didn't feel like having this conversation. I could feel the burning ache, the hole in my heart left when my mother died, and it was threatening to tear open again. I battled it, knowing that I had years of practice hiding my true feelings.

"It was five years ago," I said dismissively, as if it was nothing to talk of her demise and such the short time since. It killed me and I just wanted to drop it. For the first time ever, I wanted Lily to just go and leave me alone.

"I remember her from dropping Rose and James off the platform that first day of you all's first year," Lily said thoughtfully, unaware of the torment her words were to me. I fought it, the urge to push her out the door, to slam it and lock her out. "She was very beautiful."

"Yeah," I said simply. Without meaning to, I laughed. I don't know why I did that, or why I couldn't get my mouth to stop leaking the words I needn't say. "But she died doing something she loved and my grandfather hated. That is the only way to go."

"Yeah," Lily agreed as she looked at me with such concern that it hurt. I forced a smile. She looked like she was going to say more, but I was there, at my thresh hold, ready to break. I could feel the memories of my mother's death bubbling to the surface, and I was failing at keeping them at bay. I didn't want Lily to stand witness as I broke down and cried, and I could feel it coming. I needed to get her to stop talking, to get her to leave.

"Enough sad talk," I said at once, my voice strained though I attempted to keep it light and I rolled my eyes. I had one card up my sleeve, a sure fire way to get rid of her and never in a million years did I ever intend to use it, but I needed to be alone, a private moment to try and seal up those wounds again. I sighed. "I'm sure the boyfriend will be wondering where you went."

"Maybe," Lily said almost thoughtfully, though she didn't seem too eager to leave. I turned my back on her at once, the tears that had been threatening to spill, the memory of my mother, all overwhelming and out of control. I couldn't believe that I was crying and I didn't make any motion to wipe my eyes, to draw to attention my weakness. "So you know if you ever need a hug I am right down the hall way in the T.V. room."

"Thank you," I whispered nodding, unable to trust my voice at any louder decibel.

"And I've not forgotten that night," Lily said barely above a whisper as I heard her shut the door. My whole body froze. The thing we weren't discussing, the thing we weren't acknowledging, I knew that it was playing on her mind as much as it was mine. I wiped my face with the back of my hand the tears glistening and reflecting the pink that was all around me. I wanted someone to talk to about Lily, and for once, I knew that my dad just wouldn't do. I needed my mum.


	15. Christmas the Two

**A/N:** Thank you to all who are reading and reviewing. Yes, I am reading them and I am trying to catch up with replying (but I am totally sucking majorly at it at the moment). I am hoping to keep up with this pace of chapter releasing, but I am unsure that I will be able to, and there might be a week (gasp, a week!) delay here soon, as I am packing up my little car and all my little children and driving several states away for fun and games (ok, not really fun and games). Anyways, I checked and yup, where I will be, there is internet, so woo… there will be updates, but of course, during the 16 hour car drive, typing will not be had… I don't think I can manage to drive and type at the same time, and I don't have time to teach my computer to transcribe while I dictate. Ok… more chapter!

**Disc.:** Manipulation of a world I did not create.

* * *

**Christmas the Two**

Lily was a lot like her mother, though I'm sure Lily probably hated that. The woman, Ginny, looked at me in surprise as she sat down at the dinner table. Had I had dark hair, she probably wouldn't have done a double-take as she started eating her dinner. I might as well as been a clone to my father, the way that people said I looked like him, but many people didn't realize that to a degree, I was just as much as my mother's son as I was my father's. But Lily, she really was a lot like her mother in ways that she was probably not aware.

Ginny Potter had been a professional Quidditch player but had given it all up for home and family, taking a job at the ministry. I wondered as we all ate whether she ever regretted leaving her job. Part of Lily's intensity for Quidditch no doubt came from Ginny. There were so many of us at the table for dinner, the noise was unlike anything I had ever experienced, but it was fantastic. Between four adults and the seven of us kids, it was like a party. I didn't get a chance to talk to Lily at dinner, as she was sitting by Taryn at the far end from me, but Lily's cousin Rose was quite polite.

"So, you're doing well in Quidditch," Rose said pleasantly. James scowled but said nothing.

"Um, thank you," I said as I looked at her. She grinned.

"So, do you think that Professor Perkins will have us try and brew Vertiserum next term? I'd love to get my hands on a bit of that to feed to Hugo the next time Crookshanks comes around purple," Rose said and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I thought I overheard him trying to convince Professor McGonagall into signing the Headmistress' permission waiver to let us," I told her and Rose beamed.

"That would be a great learning experience, and fun, too," Rose said. I nodded.

"Not to mention passing a little to your brother," James teased as he stopped resisting and joined in the conversation reluctantly. He glanced at his own little brother. "You know, I'd love to give some to Albus to find out what the hell he was thinking by gluing the classroom furniture to the ceiling. You know, he still won't confess it to me." I laughed.

"I think, and I could be wrong, but I think it was your sister, not your brother, who pulled that little prank," I confessed to him. James looked at me in disbelief.

"Nah, not Lily," James said certainly.

"No, I'm pretty sure it was her. See, Damon West, our chaser kept dropping the Quaffle for whatever reason, and Flint threatened to glue it to his hands," I said hurriedly as it all fell into place. "I heard some have a 'light bulb moment', you know? An 'ah-hah' moment? Anyways, the next day the stuff was glued to the ceiling, she was crazy tired, and she stole all my bacon."

"Your bacon?" James asked raising an eyebrow.

"Well, ok. That probably had nothing to do with it, but still," I said laughing. "You have to admit, your sister does have a bit of a wild side to her."

"Yeah, well… hmm…" James pondered that as dinner wrapped up. He hesitated and then looked at me, I assume resolved that I was staying with them and he might as well make the best of it. "Hey, Scorpius, do you want to go up to the game room and play Smash City Brawlers?"

"What's that?" I asked naively. James laughed.

"Oh, this is going to be great!" He laughed again. We abandoned the girls and headed to the room over the garage, accessible by the second floor, near Albus' room. It was a large room with a fireplace, a television, a couch, and other random things. Apparently, Smash City Brawlers was a muggle video game and it was simply addictive. It was good to see that I was not the only one who had never played muggle video games, and I enjoyed whipping Taryn all over the screen, doing to his character what I would have loved to do in real life.

We played well into the evening, even after Rose and Hugo went home. Finally, Harry had to send us off to bed so that Lily could get some sleep. I kicked her cat out of the room, closing the doors between the room and the hall and the room and the bathroom. With the lights out, the room was dark and I peeled my clothes off until I was down to my boxer shorts. I glanced at her bed, uncertainly. It was like bedding down with a lover for the first time. I was a little unsure, a little unpracticed. I pulled down her comforter and top sheet, the pink bedding was insanely soft and worn in my hand. I climbed into the bed and pulled the comforter up to my chin.

The warmth was nothing compared to the aroma that was simply Lily as it emitted faintly off of everything. It was surrounding me, caressing my senses as I tucked my face into one of her pillows. I could feel my heart racing, my pulse pounding as other parts of me ached and throbbed. I groaned, not wanting to defile her bed the first night I slept in it. The longer I laid there, inhaling her intoxicating scent from her bedding, the more pronounced my conditioned became. Finally, I had no other choice. Either I took matters into my own hands in Lily's bed, or I did so in the bathroom. I tried to be reasonable and slipped off to the bathroom, careful to be quiet as I took care of business, one stroke at a time.

I felt ashamed afterwards, but only because it was still thrilling to have her scent cling so firmly to me. I washed my hands and headed back to her bed, finally able to lull myself into believing that it was normal for a boy to do that when he was that worked up. I sighed softly, catching a lungful of her scent as I drifted off into a strangely erotic dream that involved Lily and me in the middle of the ocean on a water broom.

I yawned stretching as I climbed out of bed. I could hear the other making a lot of noise down the hall, the sounds of video game violence echoing. I grabbed a pair of my jeans off the floor, sniffing them to see if they were still fresh before I pulled them on. I was in the middle of buttoning them when I looked up to see Lily stepping out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her. Her hair was damp, and I watched as a water droplet disappeared below the upper edge of her towel.

"Oh," I said in surprise. I couldn't move to finish buttoning my pants or to cover up my bare chest. I was firmly rooted to that spot, watching with envy as water droplets disappeared between the valley created by the towel and the edges of her face. Her face was getting redder and I could tell that one of us had to do something. We couldn't stand there motionless and not have bad things happen between us. As it were, I wanted nothing more than to cross the room, jerk the towel free of her body and take her right there on her bedroom floor.

"Sorry if I woke you," Lily mumbled finally as she moved towards the dresser. She jerked a few pieces of clothing free and practically sprinted back to the bathroom, closing and locking the door firmly. The sound of the lock seemed to echo in the silence of her room and for the moment, I couldn't focus on anything. Finally, I was able to regain control of my body again, and I finished getting dressed in record time, knowing full well that I wouldn't be able to stand it when she came back through the room. I would do something rash.

I glanced in at the others as I headed down to the kitchen, surprised to see that we were all alone. Harry and Ginny Potter had obviously gone to work and we were left to our own devices. I was partially through making breakfast when I heard Albus. It felt like someone doused my inside in ice water.

"Oh for Merlin's sake! Not on my bed!" Albus exclaimed loudly from upstairs. "And not my sister."

"Hey, your sister's hot," I heard Taryn say and I wanted to pound his face in with the hot skillet that I was cooking my eggs with.

"I don't want to know that," Albus' voice wafted down the stairs. "And, I never want to see that again. Don't taint up my bed making out with my sister, man. That's just not cool."

I looked up as Lily jetted down the stairs. I made sure that I wouldn't betray the hurt and anger in my face as I held out the plate of eggs and bacon I had just made. Suddenly, I wasn't hungry anymore. She hesitated, looking at the plate in confusion as I placed it on the table.

"I made you breakfast," I said quietly, trying out my new, controlled voice. I began to pour her a glass of juice, careful not to show how much my hand shook.

"Thank you," Lily said as she sat down at the table. I scooped a little bit of eggs and bacon onto a second plate, though I wasn't sure that I was actually going to be able to eat it. I felt sick to my stomach.

"Are you ok?" I asked her suddenly when I realized that she was staring down at her plate with a rather blank look on her face. She looked up at me, surprise on her face as she nodded.

"Yeah," Lily said though her voice sounded uncertain.

"I just want whatever will make you happy," I promised her quietly as I stared down at my plate.

"Me too," she said and I wondered what would make her truly happy. I wondered if I was making it harder on her, but then again, she didn't know that Darla, my dear sweet Darla wanted us to be together. I began to eat, trying to ignore the way the food seemed to settle on my stomach uneasily.

"Hey, can someone go out to the woodshed and get more firewood for the fireplace?" James yelled down from upstairs. It was just the escape that I needed to clear my head.

"Sure thing," I yelled back. I took a final bite of my food, not really tasting it, and placed the plate in the dishwasher. I pulled my coat on, fastening the buttons, and pulled my hat on over my hair. I heard Lily excite behind me and I turned to look at her as I inhaled the brisk December air. Lily led the way towards the back yard, heading towards a shed. Piled next to it were full sized logs.

"The logs have to be split first," Lily told me as she opened the shed. Her movements were so fluid, graceful and I felt a little uneasy with the thought. "The axe is in here."

"It's dark," I said as I touched her shoulder reflexively as we entered the very dark shed.

"Yeah," Lily said as she looked up at me, the only light coming from the open door. Her eyes were wide with innocence and she wet her lips slightly with her tongue. It undid me. I didn't even bother trying to stop as I pulled her face to mine, my hands on either side of her face. I kissed her, my heart soaring like an eagle. I felt her hands on my face, and for a moment she seemed to struggle with what she wanted. I was so certain that she was going to push me away. She buried her fingers in my hair, knocking my hat aside as she tangled her fingers in my hair. She seemed to hunger for my kisses as much as I hungered for hers. I could feel the desire slamming against the weakening dam that was keeping me from doing something I wanted, something that was stupid.

The knowledge that she was only thirteen, that I couldn't, flooded in my head. My fingers itched to move from her face and to cradle other parts of her body but I relented. She wasn't going to stop kissing me; I didn't want her to, either, but I had to be the voice of reason, the person who acted in her best interest. Reluctantly, breathlessly, I pulled away and looked at her, my hands still on her face. Involuntarily, I touched my tongue to my lips, the hinting taste of cherry remained and her lips looks slightly swollen, her cheeks bright red.

"You taste like cherry," I said needlessly. I figured she knew it, but I had to say something, anything. She blushed, pulling out a small tube of lip balm.

"Cheery Cherry," Lily explained as she carelessly waved the tube between her bare fingers. It slipped and fell to the floor. I was about to pick it up, but Lily was already kneeling to pick it up. She grasped it in one hand and reached up looking for a holding to stand. She grasped my belt, her hand on my side, as she proceeded to stand.

"What in Merlin's Stones is going on here?" Taryn demanded angrily. I looked down at Lily and realized what Taryn probably thought, what anyone would have thought, with Lily down on her knees in front of me. I immediately jumped back, Lily barely on her feet.

"Oh, nothing like that," I explained quickly, my hands up in a nonthreatening manner. I backed up slowly, not wanting to get into a fight with Lily's boyfriend in front of her, not that I couldn't take him, but out of respect for her and her family as a guest.

"I dropped my lip balm," Lily explained as Taryn advanced, curiously aware of how it must have looked. She held up her lip balm as if it was proof, enough to keep Taryn from wanting to fight me.

"Don't stand up for him," Taryn snapped at her. I felt my blood boil at the way he spoke to her.

"Don't talk to her like that," I threatened as I started forward. I clenched my fist just to see Taryn was in the same stance. It was only a matter of moments, we were going to fight. I felt Lily's hand on my chest and I glanced at her to see Lily holding us apart, standing between us.

"Don't tell me how to talk to my girlfriend," Taryn threatened. "Or else."

"Or else what?" I challenged, rising to Taryn's threat. No little Durmstrang beater threatened me unless he planned to put his fist where his mouth was.

"Easy you two," Lily snapped at us. "Nothing happened. Come on, Taryn. Let's go back inside, back upstairs." She began to pull on Taryn's shirt.

"This isn't over with, Malfoy," Taryn shouted at me as he began to let her pull him away.

"No it isn't… _whatever your surname is_," I retorted, not remembering or caring what his last name was. Lily glanced at me, and I swear I thought I saw her suppressing a laugh. Lily continued to pull on Taryn with all her might, the boy reluctant to walk away from a sure fight. He glared one last time at me before I was alone in the shed. I swore loudly as I picked up the axe and headed to the wood pile. I was surprised how releasing it was to split logs, the manual labor working off some of my pent up anger. With every swing, I imagined the wood was Taryn and I was severing him from Lily.

I gathered an arm load of the freshly chopped wood and hauled it wordlessly up to the television room. I saw Lily sitting in Taryn's lap, and his tightened grip didn't go unnoticed by me. Surprisingly, James tossed his controller to his cousin and he came over to help me stack the wood in the holder. Together, we started the fire and before long the room was toasty warm.

"These games are addictive," I said as my turn came up. Hugo handed me his controller, the plastic warm. "Makes me wish I didn't live in an all magical household."

"I love living in an all magical house," Taryn said glaring at me and I rolled my eyes.

"Anyone want to help me make lunch?" Rose asked. I turned to see Rose touch Taryn's shoulder, volunteering him. He looked less than pleased. "Taryn, why not you?"

"Uh, sure," Taryn said. Lily seemed almost eager as she climbed free of Taryn's lap. She snatched up James' controller and smirked as she sat on the very edge of the chair, ignoring Taryn as he left, much to my pleasure. We waited impatiently as the fighting game loaded up.

"I hope you don't mind getting your butt kicked by a girl," Lily teased me as she chose her character. She picked a very cute little girl character with pink pig tails and brass knuckles.

"You talk a big game, Lils," I taunted as my own character had huge muscles and spikes in his head. "Let's see if you can put your fist where your mouth is."

"You mean your money," Lily laughed at my misquote of the muggle saying.

"Either way," I grinned.

The game began, and we both dodged, jerked, and twisted our bodies as if we were the characters in the game even though the movements did nothing for the game play, actually. It was the dance of the gamer, the bobbing motions to avoid the opponent at all cost. Lily and I both played our hardest, and for a moment, I was certain that I had her but Lily was victorious. Her little character snapped my character's head off, laughing as the blood spurted from the stump of a neck. Lily cheered as she jumped up and down. Her controller was an extension of her, held high over her head as she looked at me, laughing.

"I won! I told you!" Lily laughed, not evening being slightly modest about it. I smirked, though it was slightly humiliating to be beaten by a thirteen year old girl, but I took my defeat with grace and handed my controller over to James so that maybe, perhaps, he could regain some of the testosterone in the room that I had lost for team male in my defeat. James laughed, not seeming to be doing much better at it than I had against Lily, when Rose stormed in, nearly slamming the plate of sandwiches down on the table. Taryn was right behind her, looking a little smug and a bit annoyed, carrying a pitcher of juice and a stack of cups. He placed them down on the table and pulled Lily roughly into his lap, ignoring her sound of protest as James' character overtook hers in the moment of distraction. She tossed the controller to Albus and tried to reach for a sandwich.

"I missed you so much," he whispered to her. I only barely overheard him because I was sitting so close "We should go for a walk."

"Now?" Lily asked frowning as she struggled again to reach a sandwich from her place on Taryn's lap. She didn't seem too eager to go for a walk, but I knew she'd go.

"Yes, now," Taryn said. He wasn't smiling and I wondered if it had anything to do with Rose's sudden change in attitude. I watched as Lily shrugged and followed him out of the T.V. room, and I was curious to find out what he had done.

"Rose, what's up with you?" James said dismissively as he jerked his head, dodging one of Albus' blows.

"Nothing," Rose snapped quickly. James placed his controller on the table, surrendering, and looked at her.

"What happened, Rose?" James asked.

"I don't want to talk about it," Rose said shaking her head as she shot him a dirty look.

"You never not want to talk about it," James said. Rose glanced at me and I put my hands up quickly as James glared my way.

"I was here with you the whole time," I said quickly.

"James, don't be stupid," Rose said with a sigh as she rolled her eyes. "Just drop it, ok?"

"If someone hurt you…" James threatened and he momentarily glanced at me.

"James, Scorpius didn't do anything," Rose said with great exasperation.

"Seriously, man, I was here kicking your sister's butt up until the end where she completely murdered my character," I reminded him.

"Old habits," James muttered as he shoved an entire sandwich in his mouth at once. I was impressed at his ability and he grinned, waving his hand at me in challenge. I tried but gagged.

"Wimp," Rose teased though she wouldn't even attempt it.

"I don't see you trying," I taunted her. She laughed.

"Who do you think taught James that?" Rose asked and we all laughed. I glanced at the window for a moment, wondering if we were going to ever get snow, if Lily was going to come back to the television room, and what Taryn had done to get Rose so worked up. I didn't have long to think about it because Harry returned home in the middle of our trying to shove sandwiches in our faces and he took up one of the controllers in his hand.

"Who's up for a little Smash Bash?" Harry asked as he waved the controller at us… the siren song to the sailors as it were. Before long, we were engrossed in video games and completely, blissfully unaware at the passage of time.


	16. Christmas the Three

**A/N:** Thank you guys so much for reading and reviewing. I know I am totally sucking at replying to all of them, but I am replying to them as much as I can (and I am replying to some, guys). Alright… continuing on…

**Disc.:** Still manipulating.

* * *

**Christmas the Three**

With the Potters not having house elves, everything had to be done by them. Ginny cooked us dinner some nights, though Harry's food tended to taste a bit better, the dishes had to be set at the table by us. I glanced up that night as Albus and I set the table for dinner as Lily and Taryn walked in the kitchen door. Lily didn't have a jacket on, which seemed rather careless since it was so cold outside. James looked up too, though it might have had to do with the fact that he was unloading the dish washing machine thing and the cold air hit him rather hard.

Lily looked sad, almost hopeless. I tried to catch her eye, to give her a reassuring smile, but she didn't even look my way. Resolved that it would be this way, I ended up taking my seat at the table across from James. I glanced down the table where Lily sat squeezed between Taryn and her father. She kept herself focused on her food, though she seemed to just push her food around her plate aimlessly.

"What's up with you tonight?" James asked Lily in a slightly teasing way. She looked up, her eyes flickering to mine for a moment before she focused completely on James. "Usually we can't get her to shut up."

"I just don't feel well tonight," Lily said in a defeated sort of way. Ginny nudged Harry, who put his hand to Lily's forehead. It was a completely unusual way to check if she was sick. I nearly told them to take her to a healer, concern quickening my pulse. I knew it wasn't my place, so I kept my mouth shut.

"You are a bit warm," Harry agreed without missing a beat. "Maybe some aspirin and early to bed with you."

"Yeah," Lily said as she looked back down at her peas.

"And Lily, remember you gloves and hat," Ginny reminded her. I smiled thinking how motherly Ginny sounded and for a moment I longed for my own mother. I pushed the thought from my mind. "The next time you go out, you know?"

"Yeah," Lily said nodding as she moved her food around her plate a bit more, ignoring the rest of us.

"Sweetie, you need to eat," Taryn said gently. Lily looked at him for a second and nodded. He sounded so fake in his concern and sweet; it was annoying.

"I know, sorry," Lily mumbled as she took a bite of her peas.

"Nothing to be sorry about, silly Lily," Taryn said laughing. The rest of the table joined in the laughter, except for me who continued to shoot him dirty looks, and Lily had to force herself to laugh as well, though it sounded off to me. The rest of dinner was full of work talk and Quidditch, but nothing more. Lily was the last one at the table, and I looked back at her as I followed James and Albus up to the television room. Taryn and James were engrossed in a first player shooter game, so I headed back downstairs to check on Lily. She seemed off after her walk with Taryn. She was stand at the sink, staring out the small window that over looked the yard.

"Lily?" I asked quietly as I touched her arm. She jumped, blushing; obviously startled.

"Sorry, Score, didn't see you there," Lily said as she pressed a hand to her heart.

"Are you ok?" I asked her with concern. Lily hesitated as she looked at me, obviously toying with some deep seated trust issues. She sighed and nodded once.

"Yeah," Lily replied. I knew she was lying but I didn't push it, not directly. She picked up her plate and scraped the remaining bits into the trash before rinsing her plate and placed them on a shelf behind a lowered down door.

"Didn't you and Rose hand wash these last go round?" I inquired as I peered at the wire shelves curiously . Lily nodded and she looked relieved for the topic change.

"It gives us girl time to bond, but I'm not about to wash them all by myself," Lily said as she started the machine. I looked at it again still rather glad that we have house elves to do that sort of thing for us. Still, it was rather fascinating.

"Wow, and it does it all by itself?" I said as I prodded the dish washing contraption with my wand for a moment. She rolled her eyes.

"Yeah," Lily said. She shrugged. "I mean you still have to put them away yourself. It's not like magic or anything. Just a muggle contraption to make doing the dishes easier."

"Wow, genius," I admitted almost reluctantly as I crossed my arms. I leaned back against the counter as Lily grabbed a sponge and wiped the table down. She was much more fascinating to watch from behind than the dishwasher, but I knew she was still not ready for talking about more substantial things. I could be patient, for her.

"You sound like Grandpa Weasley when you say that," Lily said cracking a smile. I grinned back, grateful to have seen her first real smile since she went for her walk with Taryn. The more she spent with Taryn, the more I thought about her being with him, the more I hated him.

"You'd never guess that I was into that kind of thing, huh?" I teased as I lowered my voice, stepping closer to her. I put my finger to my lips, grinning. "Let's keep that our little secret and hope you can do a better job not blabbing it." I meant for the action to be playful, but her smile faded and she took a step back from me.

"Oh," Lily said as her face darkened a bit and she leaned away. "Taryn knows you kissed me the night of the bludger."

"He does?" I asked curiously. "You told him?"

"No, apparently Rose did," Lily said scowling. I frowned. I didn't know Rose all that well, but that didn't seem like something Rose would do. She seemed pretty loyal.

"Why would your cousin tell him about that?" I asked her frowning. Lily looked away hurriedly and shrugged.

"Taryn says that Rose came on to him and then told him that," Lily said. She looked at me uncertainly. She was biting her bottom lip and I wanted to kiss her. I forced the thought from my head.

"What do you believe?" I asked her knowing damn well that if I said anything against Taryn she would turn against me. I really doubted that Rose would come on to Taryn. Looks aside, whether I knew Rose well enough or not, I knew with all my being that she would not have come onto Lily's boyfriend. Taryn, however, was a skunk and I knew he was probably guilty. Lily opened her mouth to reply but her dad walked in from the garage. He looked at the two of us curious, we were standing there barely a foot apart from each other. I moved away from Lily quickly, as if she was repelling me. I didn't want him to think anything of us standing so close to each other.

"What are you two kids up to?" Harry asked us. I grinned shrugging.

"Dishes," Lily said pointing at the dishwasher. He grinned at us and nodded.

"My aunt used to make me hand wash all our dishes, even when we had one of those," Harry said. Lily rolled her eyes and I started heading up the stairs slowly, not wanting to hear a story of Harry Potter's muggle youth. I am sure it was fascinating, but still not something that I wanted to hear.

I was up playing in cohorts with James against Albus and Taryn when we all heard the elevated voices of Rose and Lily coming up the stairs, louder than the rocket launchers and the sounds of the tanks. They got louder and louder, angry words floating up to us. We tried to ignore it, to ignore the shouting, but when the door slammed we could ignore it no longer. James went to stand and find out what the shouting was about, but by then Lily had already stormed upstairs and slammed her bedroom door.

Part of me was curious what had happened, part of me was eager to stay out of it, and a very hidden part of me wondered what she was doing in the room. It was a sick, almost obsessive side of me that kept Lily on my mind more than she should be. I knew it, and silently I could admit it. I was hopelessly addicted to Lily. It was a sickness, I'm sure, but it was a sickness I didn't want to get over.

We gamed until Harry came home. He called us down to help with the dinner since Ginny was working late and he was supposed to go ahead and feed us without waiting for her. Harry was quite a cook, and the house began to smell delicious. Harry started giving us chores to do in preparation and he glanced at Taryn before he turned to me.

"Hey, do me a favor, Scorpius," Harry said. "Can you run upstairs and let Lily know it's dinner time?"

"Um, sure," I replied not even looking at Taryn. I walked up the stairs, wondering if Lily was still in her room or if she had left. I went to her bedroom door and knocked once, quietly. There wasn't any reply and I opened the door.

Lily's room was dim even with the curtains open and the outside light spilling in. Lily was laying on the bed, her arm across her face. I paused, waiting for her to look up to acknowledge that I was there. I looked at the way her chest seemed to rise slow and steady, and I knew she was asleep. I slowly walked over to her bed, careful not to startle her if she wasn't really asleep.

"Lily?" I whispered as I touched Lily's shoulder barely, startling her awake. She looked asked touching Lily's shoulder, startling her. She looked around disoriented before her eyes met mine again. She had creases from her arm and her tears had left her face splotchy. She was still beautiful.

"Huh? What?" Lily said with her voice thick from sleep.

"It's dinner time," I told her quietly. I frowned slightly as she sat up, turning her face from me almost immediately. "Is something wrong?"

"Did you tell Taryn we kissed?" Lily asked me almost aggressively. I scoffed at the idea.

"Not a chance," I reminded her simply. "I don't fancy a fight while being a guest of yours."

"My parents," Lily said me. I frowned.

"What?"

"You're a guest of my parents, more specifically of my father," Lily told me as she climbed free of the bed. I watched as Asher curled up where Lily had lain.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked her uncertainly. She seemed to ooze hostility.

"I didn't invite you here, Scorpius," Lily said at him, crossing her arms. "You have Darla."

"Where is this coming from, Lily?" I looked at her with great concern. Her attitude, behavior was a complete 180 from one my Lily, the Lily I knew and loved.

"This was supposed to be _my_ Christmas Holiday with _my_ boyfriend," Lily said to me in a quiet voice. She sounded almost defeated. "Taryn knows we kissed, Rose told him."

"I don't know your cousin that well, but Rose doesn't seem like the type to break your confidences," I told her as I looked up from where I sat on her bed. She wheeled around on me, her hands on her hips.

"You don't know Rose well at all. No one else knew. I didn't tell him, you didn't tell him, it had to be Rose," Lily snapped at me. "I really wish you had never come."

I opened his mouth to say something but words wouldn't come out. I closed and opened my mouth a few times, surely looking like a fish out of water, but I couldn't form any words or thoughts. I was truly speechless. I settled for my mouth hanging open, feeling like I had been physically hurt by her words. I stood there and I watched as she turned her back on me and bolted from the room.

I waited a moment before I followed down the stairs. I slipped into the seat across of the table from Lily. She didn't look up or over. She kept her attention on her food and the table was bathed in uncomfortable silence as we ate. I glanced up to see James give me a look, almost as if to ask what was going on. I shrugged, not really sure why Lily was so pissed at me.

After dinner, Harry went out to the garage and James and I went upstairs. I sat and watched Albus and James battle for a few minutes before I decided to escape to the bedroom. I glanced briefly at Albus' closed bedroom door and I could hear them in there together, and it turned my stomach. I pushed the bedroom door open, ignoring the partially open bathroom door. I could hear him talking to her, pressuring her. The more he encouraged her, the angrier I became.

"I don't want to wait for this any longer, Lily," I heard Taryn say clearly as if I was in the room next to them. "If you loved me, you wouldn't make me wait any longer."

"Taryn," Lily protested a little loudly. She didn't sound like she was too thrilled with the words Taryn said. I knew I was livid. I heard the bed complain as they sat on it. I couldn't stand it anymore. I hated him, hated what he was doing to her. She may not have had the sense to tell him to stop, and it may not have been my place, but I couldn't stand by and let Taryn have her.

"Lily?" I queried as I pushed the communal bathroom door open, stepping into Albus' room. My heart slammed to a stop as I saw Lily laying on her back underneath Taryn. Her shirt was pushed up to just under her breasts, Taryn's hand was further, his leg locked over hers. Lily looked embarrassed to be caught in that position, my eyes flittered to the locked door before they returned to the couple. Taryn was glaring at me, but the glare had a malicious smile curled on his lips.

"She's busy, Malfoy," Taryn said to me winking. My blood boiled and I frowned at him.

"Lily, this isn't like you," I said as Lily struggled to a sitting position. Her hair fell away from her face and she looked genuinely embarrassed that she had been caught by anyone in that position. Lily jumped up, breaking free from Taryn. She ran to the door, fumbling with the lock before she left the room.

"I… I hear my mum calling me," Lily mumbled as she jetted out of the room. Taryn leaned back on the bed, grinning at me.

"You have to know, I hate you," Taryn said casually to me as if we were discussing a dislike of beets. "I can't wait until I am free of you."

"I didn't do anything to you," I challenged him as I crossed my arms. Taryn pulled himself free of the bed, carelessly casual as he leaned against the bed post. We were standing maybe a foot away, facing each other.

"No, but my girl seems to have decided that you were the kind of guy she'd rather be like and if I have my way, once I am finished with her, I'd make sure she was so ruined that even you wouldn't want her," Taryn laughed. I didn't think about it. I couldn't have ever imagined doing what I did next. It was almost as if I was sitting from the side watching as my face contorted in rage. I had no control as I cocked my fist back and it stuck out, colliding with Taryn's jaw just as Lily re-entered the room, just in time to see me crack my fist into her boyfriend face, twice in quick succession. First the jaw, then his nose.

"Scorpius!" She yelled at me as she rushed to Taryn's side. I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins, my hands were trembling, and there was a sting to my knuckles. It was worth it, the way the blood was rushing from his face.

"He hit me because I defended you," Taryn lied with a nasally voice as blood poured from his nose. Lily looked at him in horror, rushing past me to the bathroom to get a cold wash cloth. She glared at me as she rushed by. I hadn't confirmed or denied that I had hit Taryn, that would have been stupid. She saw me do it. Instead, I remained silent, uncertain that I would be able to cease the words once I spoke.

"How could you hit him?" Lily demanded as if I had struck a child or a saint instead of this foul, loathsome creature that didn't deserve her. She was still glaring at me as if I was the one wrong in all this.

"He's using you, Lily," I murmured as I stepped towards her. She looked at me in horror and Lily moved away from me.

"Leave me alone," Lily insisted. She glared at me, acting as though I were the wrong one in all this.

"Please, Lily, listen to me," I insisted in an almost pathetic attempt to get her to listen to me.

"I'm so sick of boys," Lily snapped as she rushed out the room mumbling something about ice.

"Told you. She's going to be putty in my hand," Taryn smirked. He stood up, stretching and ignoring the blood. He rubbed his jaw slightly, it no more stinging than my hand at the moment. "I think tonight, after everyone goes to sleep she and I will spend some grown up alone time."

"She's thirteen," I said in horror, realizing what he meant. He smirked and shrugged. Lily being only thirteen, and innocent at that, was nothing to him.

"So?" Taryn said shrugging. He headed toward the door. "I have needs and since I can't have Rose, Lily'll do." I looked up just as Lily walked into the room. Her face was blank, a little pale, and I had to wonder, hope even, that she heard Taryn's words.

"Lily'll do what?" Lily asked as Taryn stood before her. I braced for her to hit him but found myself disappointed.

"Always have my heart, love," Taryn said kissing her cheek tenderly as he took the ice from Lily. She looked at the two of us, frowning, and stalked away with a little huffiness to her step. I followed, Taryn behind me, knowing that it was probably not wise to turn my back on her boyfriend. I took a seat, glancing at Lily curled up in a chair. She ignored us, Taryn and I. I couldn't blame her. Taryn was an ass, and I am sure I wasn't exactly winning friend of the year myself. Still, I was willing to come out the bad guy if I kept her safe and innocent from someone like Taryn. She deserved more than he had to offer, and I was pretty sure that she deserved more than me, too.

I was dead asleep when I was awoken to shouting and yelling. I was running down a hallway, as a grown man, in a hospital. I could hear someone yelling for me, telling me that time was running out, that I was going to miss it, the birth of my son. I could hear Lily crying out for me and panic welled in me, she sounded like she was in so much pain. I was reaching for the door, just outside her room, and then I was jolted awake by real life yelling. I sat up, looking around disoriented as the door swung open to my room.

Lily rushed in, crying, and she scrambled into the window seat overlooking the yard. She wrapped her arms around her legs and I watched her bury her face against her arms. She stared out the window after a second, staring across the yard. I took a deep breath, steadying myself and forcing my strange dream deep in the recesses of my mind.

"Lily?" I asked softly as I climbed free of the bed. I picked my tee shirt up off the floor and pulled it on, covering up my shirtless chest. I moved closer, standing to her side slightly, and Lily looked up at me. Even in the dark, I could tell she had been crying, was still crying.

"He's been lying this whole time," she cried. I frowned and wrapped my arm around her shoulder in a friendly sort of way. I didn't want to say anything mean, though I was tempted to tell her that Rose and I had been trying to explain that the whole time. It wouldn't have done any good to say to her 'I told you so' or that 'I told you he was scum'.

"You know, it's going to be ok," I murmured, trying to be comforting as I touched her hair. My fingers caressed her cheek, her skin like fire under my touch. "You're hot."

"Now's not the time," Lily groaned shoving my arm off of her shoulder and I nearly laughed at the misunderstanding, only I was too tired and the situation was too serious. I could only imagine what had been the straw that broke the camel's back. I shook my head.

"That's not what I meant," I explained as I placed my wrist against her forehead like her father had done. She felt like fire against my flesh it was nearly painful to touch her. Panic welled up in me, thinking she was sick, really sick. "I think you have a fever."

"Could be the tears," Lily murmured as she leaned against my wrist and I wondered if it was cool to her. I hated Taryn for this, certain that his having her outside without proper winter wear was the reason she was sick. I forced myself to stay calm, not wanting to upset her.

"No, I'm pretty sure you have a fever," I said as I pulled her off the window seat and back to the bed. She resisted me little, and my arm stayed around her for a moment longer than probably respectful. I stood there, waiting for her to pull away from me or for her to cling to me, I didn't know which. She didn't make a move in any direction and I sighed. "Get in the bed, Lily. I'm going to get your mum."

"She's taking Taryn home," Lily mumbled as she climbed into the bed. She wavered slightly and seemed very week to me. I felt panic again, wondering how sick she was. Was she as sick as Darla, just from being outside for a while? It would be my luck, certainly. I needed to get her to a healer, or a healer to her.

"I'll get your dad then," I told her quickly as I sprinted from the room. I was thankful that Ginny had already left with Taryn, uncertain that I could stand to see him after he had gotten her so sick. Harry was downstairs, sitting at the table with what looked like a cup of coffee. He looked up at me almost as if he was weary and for the moment I forgot about Lily being sick.

"Scorpius, son, you have no idea how angry I was upstairs," Harry said quietly as he practically strangled his cup. "I mean, I have never wanted to physically hurt anyone since… well… in a really long time. My Lily is just so… innocent."

"Yeah, oh, Lily's got a fever," I said remembering why I was downstairs in the first place. "I don't know, but she seems kind of sick and I'm worried about her. Maybe she needs a healer or something."

Harry hesitated for a moment, his eyes on me before he put his cup down and headed up the stairs. I followed behind him, uncertain if I should or not. I stood in the door way as Harry crossed her room and placed his wrist to her forehead. He paused before he looked at me and took a deep breath. He stood and crossed to the bathroom, running some water. I waited as he returned with a bowl full of water and a wash cloth. He looked at her carefully in the light, a cropping of little red spots on her arms.

"Can you sit with her a moment while I go down to the fireplace and floo for a healer to stop by?" Harry asked me as he wrung the cloth out and rested it on Lily's forehead. She was passed out cold and didn't even flinch though I imagined she should have.

"Sure," I said as I walked closer to the bed. Harry disappeared out of the room and I reached out to touch her face. Her cheeks were like touching unshielded flames. I pulled back looking at Harry in horror as he returned with a little woman.

"She's this way, Healer Jin," Harry said and I stepped back.

"And you said spots?" she asked as she looked over Lily's arms and legs. I turned my head quickly as the healer lifted Lily's shirt without warning.

"I know that Dragon Pox is going around, but this is different…" Harry murmured. It was like they were completely unaware of me.

"It's not Dragon Pox," Healer Jin said and I felt my breath leave my body in a rush for relief. Harry glanced over at me curiously but said nothing else. Healer Jin wheeled around and looked at me.

"Have you had chicken pox, dear?" She asked me. I frowned.

"I don't even know what that is," I admitted. I looked at Lily. "Is that what Lils has?"

"Lils?" Harry muttered under his breath good naturedly. Healer Jin shooed me from the room.

"It is the opinion of the healers that when able to, all children should be exposed to chicken pox," I heard her tell Harry. "It increases their immunity against dragon pox and even sphinx pox."

"Hmm… infect them on purpose?" Harry said as he looked at me. "I'm fine with my kids, but I'd better ask your dad, Scorpius. Might as well see if Rose and Hugo can come by."

"I want it," I piped up. Harry looked at me and nodded.

"I still have to ask your dad," Harry said. "I'll floo over there when Ginny gets home. You might as well head off to bed. Hope you don't mind either Albus' bed or the sofa bed."

"I'll just crash on the sofa bed, if you don't mind," I said as I wandered away. I thought a few minutes and then jerked out a piece of parchment from the desk in the corner of the television room. I wrote my dad a note:

_Lily's come down with chicken pox and Harry's coming to ask you how you want to handle it with me. I want it, Dad, and it'll get me immune to dragon pox. I'm just saying. -Score _

I headed down to the kitchen and to the formal living room where the Potter family owl lived in a gilded cage. I tied it to his leg and opened the back door, letting the owl out as Ginny came in. She raised an eyebrow at me but still smiled. Harry met her halfway across the kitchen and explained to her what was up. Ginny glanced at me as I started back up the stairs, I climbed onto the sofa bed, the place where that bastard tried to hurt her, and I tossed and turned most of the night.

In the morning, Harry woke me. His hand was on my shoulder and he shook me gently. I blinked confused as I regained my bearings. He looked sad, horribly sad, and my heart started to pound in my chest. If anything had happened to Lily while I had lazily slept, I'd never forgive myself. I sat up immediately, ignoring my shoes, and headed towards Lily's room but Harry caught my arm and shook his head. His hand was on my shoulder while he guided me down to the formal living room. My father was there, looking warily at me.

"What?" I asked with panic. Something was wrong, I could tell. I took a seat on the chair, not caring that I looked like hell with my hair sticking up all which way and my clothes horribly wrinkled.

"It's Darla," Dad said as he looked over at me. I felt my body twitch slightly.

"What about her?" I asked almost defensively.

"She went to visit your grandfather, to beg him to let her out of the arrangement, and she contracted Dragon Pox. She didn't know and your grandfather thought he was on the mend," Dad said quietly. "She… she…"

"Darla died last night, Scorpius," Harry finished for my father. Dad threw him an appreciative glance and nodded to confirm it. I felt as if my insides had been doused in ice water, my bones replaced with cold steel. I couldn't move, my lungs burned, and I realized I was holding my breath. I will it's release, the breath escaping in trembling gasp.

"But… I thought that dragon pox wasn't supposed to be fatal," I managed with a trembling voice.

"Normally, no," Dad admitted. "Darla was very sick and it took… it… she went really quickly."

"Darla's dead?" I asked. The words sounded weird in my words and in my voice.

"I'm sorry," Dad and Harry said in unison. I felt numb.

"But… she was fine…" I lied. I closed my eyes pinching the bridge of nose for a moment. I couldn't believe it. In the matter of twenty four hours, Taryn was out of Lily's life and Darla was dead. I felt an ache in me, sad for the loss of life. I didn't love Darla like I loved Lily, but still I was sad that Darla was lost. I felt a few tears slip down my face and I forced them away angrily.

"She wasn't fine, Score," Dad said. He looked at me uneasily. I forced a few more tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand.

"I want to be the one to tell Lily, when she's better," I said quietly. "I mean, I know Lily and Darla were dorm mates, but Darla was my betrothed. I think I ought to at least get to do that."

"Of course, son," Harry said patting my shoulder. "You tell her when you're ready, and if it gets too hard, or you can't, I can do it for you, or Ginny."

"No, I can handle it," I said quickly. "When I'm ready, when Lily's well, I'll tell her."

"Of course," Dad said as he looked at me. He turned to Harry. "I really do hate to give bad news and go, but my father's health is failing and I have to return home to help my mother with him. I do hope that little Miss Lily starts feeling better, and if the healers think that chicken pox is the best way to go, by all means, give them to Scorpius. There's a few hours to dawn, so I think it'll be safe to apparate from the garden."

"Take care," Harry said as he shook my father's hand. Once it was the two of us, Harry looked at me standing there next to me and did something unexpected. Out of nowhere, he hugged me tightly until I thought that I wouldn't be able to breathe. It was then that I realized that I was crying so hard. Darla, love or not, was dead. My betrothal was over and I was free, but Darla was dead.


	17. Christmas the Four

**A/N:** A few people asked me if I had some affinity to gaming, and truth be told, while I do like to play some video games, most of my observations have been from watching my sons, husbands, and friends playing games (like at this very minute, my two oldest sons are playing some sort of war game on the PS3 while my youngest two kids are playing the Wii). This chapter takes us up to the end of chapter 12 in SLP (for those of you who are doing a side by side). Hm… maybe this is going to be longer than SLP…

**Disc.:** I did not kill Darla, it was the Dragon Pox. I swear.

* * *

**Christmas the Four**

Rose and Hugo arrived shortly after breakfast and before any of us could go up to play video games or anything, we were ushered into Lily's room. I don't know what I expected, but seeing Lily in a night gown with mittens on her hands was comical. Albus and James had practically danced on their way into the room and embraced their young sister. She looked annoyed.

"Should we rub our heads on her belly?" Albus asked grinning. I fought the urge to grin as Lily frowned and pushed her brothers away.

"Get off," Lily growled at them. Albus laughed as Rose and Hugo entered the room all of the way while I hung back at the door, not wanting to go any further.

"Is that all of you?" the healer asked. Rose looked around.

"Where's Taryn?" Rose asked curiously. Lily scowled.

"He went home last night," James said darkly. Rose and Lily looked at each other, bursting into girlish tears. James glanced at me and we both shrugged as Rose threw herself half way to Lily, met by the awaiting arms of Lily. We looked away uncomfortably, as if it was indecent, as the girls cried and hugged, their words unintelligible. Rose pulled away, wiping her eyes.

"I guess that ought to be enough to get all diseased up," Rose laughed as she grabbed a tissue. Hugo rolled his eyes, hugging his younger cousin. She made a face as Hugo laughed, rubbing his cheek against hers. I laughed a little too, though quietly.

"Go on son," the healer said pushing me toward Lily suddenly. I couldn't help but blush slightly and quickly hugged Lily. I pulled away.

"Is that even enough contact?" James snickered. I shot him a dirty look, before I smiled almost cruelly at him.

"Would you rather I kiss her?" I taunted him. James made a face, shaking his head.

"No, not particularly," James said to me. I rolled my eyes.

"Well," I said crossing my arms. I looked to the healer for answers. "Is that contact enough?"

"I'd say perhaps," she said. She grinned. "Except you, son, I'd prefer you have a little more physical contact." She nodded towards Lily.

"Splendid," I said rolling my eyes as the other boys bounced merrily from the room. I felt conflicted, on the one hand I wanted to hug her and be with her, on the other hand I had just learned about Darla's passing not but a few hours before. It was all really confusing. Rose blushed at me, her cheeks bright red and headed to the bathroom. The healer busied herself with something in her bag and I moved a bit closer.

"Might as well get this over with," Lily said as she crawled across her bed, crawling closer to me. "Want to rub my belly?"

"Not particularly," I said as I cracked a smile. I was curious to touch her, but not when I was supposed to be catching a disease from her. Lily laughed and her light hearted laughter drew me in. I touched her face slightly, grinning.

"Awe, c'mon," Lily said pulling away reluctantly. I glanced at the healer.

"Quickly," I whispered. Lily looked and nodded once, giving me permission. I was surprised that she was allowing me so soon after what happened with Taryn. I didn't think about it, I just went for it. I leaned forward, my hand still on her face. My mouth touched her, tongues touching tentatively, and I felt the muscles in the pit of my stomach twist intensely. The more she kissed me back, the more I wanted to kiss her. It was a win-win thing. Lily grinned at me as she pulled back, breathless.

"That should infect you well enough," Lily laughed as she pushed me away with one hand. He hand felt natural on my body, and for a brief moment I didn't want to move away. I did, anyway. I wouldn't push her.

"Indeed," the healer murmured with a twinkle in her eye. I blushed as she shooed me out of the room just as Rose reentered. I headed to the television room to play video games. With Taryn gone, it was if things had suddenly eased and changed. I knew that James and I would never be best friends, especially when he found out that I was madly in love with his sister, but we were civil and even friendly. We played video games for the rest of the day and slowly came down with fevers until we were miserable.

By Christmas Eve, I was donning a set of spelled on mittens and a horrible rash covering me from head to toe, including some rather sensitive spots. It was torture to not be able to itch. Lily was there with us, the five of us miserable while she was mitten free and nearly spot free. She was being mean, refusing to scratch us. She grinned at me as James tried to scratch his arm with his foot.

"I guess we're not going to the annual Slytherin ball," I moaned as I struggled to scratch my arm with the stupid mittens on. She giggled at me.

"I could still go," Lily teased me but she shook her head. She held up a piece of paper. "It was canceled this year because of the out breaks of chicken and dragon pox. Apparently, though, getting chicken pox will keep us pretty safe from getting dragon pox."

"You could be less cheerful about this, you know," James grumbled at her. I turned my head to laugh without him seeing. Lily was less inconspicuous and laughed at him right in the face. She jumped up.

"Juice anyone?" She asked us as she looked at us. I raised my empty glass as did the others and she nodded as she danced around the room, taking our glasses.

"I can't believe Mum and Dad sent us here to get a disease on purpose," Hugo grumbled as he went to chew on his arm. Rose blanched and turned her head.

"At least you'll get over it before Christmas Holiday ends," Lily reminded as she grabbed the last few juice cups. She danced around balancing the stack of glasses. "And maybe the snow will finally fall heavily enough to stick in time for Christmas."

"Ugh, your too damn cheerful," I moaned from his place on the floor. Lily grinned as she reached down and tousled my hair with her free hand.

"You guys were all cheerful when I was the one who had the disease," she giggled as she danced gracefully from the room. Lily fetched a tray of juice and cookies that Grandmother Weasley sent for the kids to enjoy while they were all ailing. Lily skipped back, balancing the tray of juice and cookies that their grandmother, and nearly fell over James' legs.

"Watch out," James growled as he caught the tray second before it crashed onto the table and Lily frowned at him as she nearly stumbled into me.

"What were you doing on the floor?" she asked him as she regained her footing.

"Scratching his back," Albus snickered as he tried to bite his mittens off. I laughed him and Lily laughed as she picked up the game controller.

"Anyone want to play?" Lily asked with feigned innocence. The rest of us in the room groaned. None of us had been able to play the games since we were forced to don mittens to keep from itching. It made going to the bathroom the most exciting times of the day, since the mittens could come off to do the bathroom business and wash up. During bathroom times, I spent more time itching than using the bathroom, and I was happy to do that.

"Sucks," Hugo said crossing his arms. "Figures we'd get the stupid Muggle Pox."

"Chicken pox," Lily reminded him lightly as she flipped the channel to the game and began playing against the system. She was fascinating to watch, so beautiful. She was terribly focused on the game and ignored us as we tried to trip her up. She lost horribly, laughing as her character failed to beat out the computer. "Stupid Turtle Ducks."

"Koopas!" James howled with an indignant glare. "You can't call them 'turtle ducks'. They're Koopas!" I laughed hysterically at James' reaction, and at Lily who had stuck her tongue out at him defiantly. She threw one of the couch pillows at him, missing.

"Fine, fine," Lily laughed as she threw another one of the pillows at him. "Stupid Koopas. Better, Jamesie-poo?"

"Not really," James glared at her. "And don't call me Jamesie-poo."

"I kind of like it," I taunted snickering. James shot me the bird.

"Fine, call me Jamesie-poo, but he's got to have some ridiculously sweet pet name too, like Scorpy-worpy or something," James threatened at me maliciously towards Lily.

"You wouldn't dare, Potter," I threatened back with my eyes on Lily. She bit her bottom lip slightly.

"Oh, wouldn't I?" Lily challenged as a grin spread across her face. It was intense. "Cutesy nicknames for everyone!"

"Get her!" Hugo called in a battle-cry. The five of us sprung into action, ganging up on Lily with our mitten-spelled hands and our strong wills; she had no chance in hell of getting away. We caught her off guard and she wasn't a match for us as we held her down. We tickled her until she released the controller and gasped with laughter. She had tears streaming down her face.

"I surrender! I surrender!" Lily gasped. "No nicknames! I promise! I swear! On all my future children."

"You'd better mean very distance future children," Harry warned lightly as he came into the room to check on the itchy brood of teenagers. We all looked up laughing as he stood there, a smile on his face. I wondered for a minute how he felt with me pinning his daughter, suddenly aware that I was sitting with her legs pinned under me. I climbed free of her quickly, releasing her properly, as had the others started to move off of her.

"Of course, of course," Lily said as she struggled slightly into a sitting position.

"Well, I'm glad that you are all getting along well enough," Harry said. "I just thought that you guys might like to spend some time out in the snow." The electricity increased in the room at the word. Fifteen or not, snow was still exciting!

"Is it sticking?" Lily asked excitedly as she jumped up and ran to the window. We all peered out the large picture window of the television room, jerking the curtains back to see white stuff coming down in torrents. Sure enough a winter wonderland was forming down below just as the street lights were coming on outside.

"It's sticking," Harry confirmed as we hurried to pull their gear on, caring less and less about their fevers and the speckled rashes. Itchy or not, we were going to tear up some snow!

"It's about time," James said and I nodded, pulling my boots on over my shoes.

"It's just not Christmas without snow," Rose confirmed. Lily laughed.

"Scorpius, hey," Harry called to me as we headed out the room. I looked at him and he signaled for me to stay behind.

"Yes?" I asked uncertainly. Surely he didn't know I was in love with his daughter, or that I wanted her. I thought I was doing better about things, hiding my feelings.

"Your dad wanted me to let you know that your grandfather passed away this morning," Harry said with great sympathy. His hand was resting on my shoulder, as if to hold me to this world.

"Lucius died?" I asked in an almost whisper.

"Yes," Harry said quietly. "The Dragon Pox."

"Why didn't my dad come tell me?" I asked. He glanced away for a moment and I swear I thought I saw him suppress a smile for my benefit.

"Your grandmother needed him at home, since she's mending but still a bit on the weak side," Harry said quietly to me. "Plus, he didn't want to risk catching chicken pox and possibly infecting your grandmother. She's not nearly one hundred percent yet."

"Oh," I said numbly. It was confusing, they way I felt. I mean, I should have been more upset about it, about my grandfather's passing, but this was the man who took away my playroom when I was six, beat me when I was bad, and told me to suck it up when my mother died. It was hard to be upset when someone as evil and cruel as Lucius Malfoy died. I could still sometimes feel the torturous twist of my body when he conditioned me against the Cruciatus Curse when I was bad. If my father or mother ever knew…

"I'm sorry for your loss, son," Harry said and for the second time in so many days, he was embracing me as if I were his son.

"I'm more upset about Darla's passing," I confessed without meaning to from his hug. He released me slowly and smiled.

"I can believe that," Harry said simply and he nodded towards the door. "Better get out there before all of the good snow is taken."

"Will do," I said as I started out the door. I turned and looked at him. "Thanks, Harry."

"No problem, Scorpius. You're always welcome," he told me and I smirked. I wondered if that sentiment would remain if he knew how crazy I was about his daughter. I glanced at him one last time, and thought to myself that he would probably be ok with it when we were older.

That night, Albus surrendered his bed to me, which was so nice of him. He shrugged and rolled his eyes, but I knew how much it meant for him to give up his room to a Slytherin. Lily was joyful, cheerful even, dancing around excitedly. It was, after all, Christmas Eve, and she was happy. I wondered when I would tell her about Darla and about my grandfather, though less about the latter. I had mentioned it briefly to James while we were chopping wood and he had been truly sympathetic.

"Dude, seriously, I'm sorry about Darla," James said pausing with the axe in his hand. He wiped the back of his forehead with his still spelled on mitten. "How are you holding up?"

"Decently," I replied. We didn't talk about my grandfather's loss, but of my loss of Darla. My grandfather, though it should have been more heartbreaking, it wasn't.

"What did Lily say?" James asked me curiously. I shook my head.

"I've not had the heart to tell her yet," I confessed. He looked at me and nodded once. "I've not told anyone really yet, aside for those who already know. I just can't bring that sadness into Lily's holiday. Not like this."

"I can understand that. Lily can be a bit emotional, and I imagine she and Darla must have been friends, being dorm mates and all," James said. I nodded once, though I wasn't sure that they were really all that close. I didn't really know how Lily would react. Would she be relieved that there was nothing holding us apart? Would she be mad at herself for being thrilled? I wasn't even sure that Lily liked me as much as she used to, though the infecting kiss had really got my heart racing. My heart was a traitor, and I was glad that she was blissfully unaware.

"We'd better finish up here," I said suddenly. I glanced at him and sighed as he resumed swinging the axe. James and I were getting along, but I knew that we would most likely not continue once we were back at school. I had to admit, away from Gryffindor and Slytherin prejudices, he could be a pretty awesome friend.

Lily looked up at me as I walked in, carrying a load of wood. She was sitting at the table reading a book. I grinned at her and carried my stack to the living room fireplace. I placed it in the wood holder and headed upstairs to my room, Albus' room, to see an owl pecking at the window. I opened the window as large as it would open, the owl soaring in and landing on the foot post of the bed. A cumbersome package was strapped to its' leg. I hurried over, untying the beast and slipping in a few coins into his tip bag before practically launching it out the window.

I was happy that it had come, the perfect gift. On all my trips to Diagon Ally, in the shop window of Mistress Penny's Shoppe, I had always stopped and looked at their trinkets and things. When I was a small boy, before my mother had died, I had actually gone into the shop with her. I couldn't have been more than six years old, just before Lucius took over my education. Back then, life was still light and free and pure. I had wandered around the store, looking at the random baubles and things I had no interest in as a little boy. Mum had promised me a trip to All Quid Quidditch Pro Shop if I could be a good little boy. It was painful, but I would be the best little boy there was to make sure I could go see the new Star Streak broom line.

"Scorpius," my mother had called to me as I was perusing these little hinged boxes. I looked up surprised to see her standing beside me. She knelt down to my level and adjusted my short pants, tying my shoes the muggle way.

"Yes, Mummy?" I had replied. My eyes still held that wide-eyed childhood innocence to them. She tousled my hair.

"What are you looking at?" she asked me curiously as I glanced down at my hands. In it was a wooden box, carved, with a serpent on it. She looked at it and smiled almost wistfully. "Ah, a carved box. One day, I must tell you the story of Jean Malfoy someday."

"Ok," I said looking up at her smile. I placed the box down and found myself playing with a locket. Mistress Penny, a rather ancient looking witch, grinned at me toothlessly and it frightened me a bit.

"Young Mister Malfoy, I see you have grand tastes in treasures like your mother, Infamy," Mistress Penny said as she took the locket in her hand. She leaned close to me, dropping her voice to a very dramatic whisper. "Do you want to know a secret about this locket?"

"A secret?" It was ever boy's dream to know a secret or to hold a treasure in their bare hands.

"A very special secret," she whispered. "You mustn't tell a soul."

"I promise," and I was serious. I even put my pinky out, ready to pinky swear like I had seen some auburn haired kids out in the main drag. She smiled and linked her little finger with mine. Her skin felt like paper.

"This, my son, is more than a locket," she whispered. I watched as she ran her finger along the seam of the locket, almost as if caressing it. It sprung open, a lilting, delicate song springing forth unseen from behind the invisible cogs below the metal work.

"Wow," I had said and she smiled as she snapped it closed. She put her finger to her mouth and nodded once, placing it back on the platform. I looked at the price and swallowed the desire to get it for my mother, the most important woman in my life at the time. Even at six years old, I knew that with as many zeros that followed that first number in galleons there was no chance I'd ever have it.

That had been nearly ten years before, and the objects remained in my mind, reinforced by my mother's story of Jean Malfoy and his love for Simone. A decade, I couldn't expect that Mistress Penny was even alive anymore, or that such a spectacular locket or box would still be there, but I was persistent and I owl-ed the shop, desiring the locket. I held the box in my hand, knowing what it contained. I couldn't even think about the amount of money spent, just that this was, for me, a step in a direction that I was ever increasingly excited about.

I opened the box, checking the locket against my memory. It was still as it had been all those many years before. The box, untouched, felt satiny smooth under my finger tips. I hoped that she liked it, my heart rate increased. Just like Jean's anticipation of Simone's reaction, I was nervous to see how Lily received such a personal part of me. The locket slid silently into the box and I wrapped it easily, having watched it be done many times before. The paper was silvery, mirror like, and I tied a green bow around it, thinking I had done a pretty good job. I took a deep breath and slipped it under my pillow. I knew that Christmas Day, tomorrow, would take forever to come.


	18. Christmas the Five

**A/N: **Thank you those of you who are reading and reviewing. While this story will probably not have the popularity that SLP had, I am glad to see the names of people who are following it. It makes me happy. The next chapter will probably be a while since I am leaving for Texas in a few days and will have to kind of find a place to live there and what not… (joy oh joy). - Written before I left for Texas. Woo, I am in Texas, and yeah, house hunting (and living with four kids in a hotel room, always fun), but I am working (on my writing) so it does make things better.

**Disc.:** Borrowing characters for my own twisted devices.

* * *

**Christmas the Fifth**

I stretched as I woke that next morning, vaguely aware of the actual day. The light that filtered in through the window of Albus' room was gray, almost hesitant to wake as I was. Cold air touched my face, causing goose bumps on my arms as I pulled free of the covers. I listened for a moment, testing the sounds of the morning for life elsewhere in the house. All was still for the most part and I pulled my jeans and a sweater on, heading toward the bathroom to take care of business.

"Asher, no," I heard Lily mumble in her sleep. I glanced over to see the door ajar and blushed slightly, realizing that I had left the door open slightly while I relieved myself. That could have been potentially embarrassing.

"Lily, you up?" I asked her as I pushed open her bedroom door. She was curled up in her bed, totally encased in her blanket. Her eyes were closed tightly and she didn't look thrilled about her cat walking up and down her body, kneading her through the blanket. Lily didn't have an opportunity to respond to me. James and Albus burst into the room loudly. Asher took a swipe at them, a hiss hung in the air.

"CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS!" Albus shouted jumping onto Lily's bed. He turned to me with a devilish look in his eyes. "Come on, Scorpius. Help hold her down so I can tickle her." I laughed and rushed the bed with every intent on holding her down. I didn't second guess whether she'd be ok with it. Her skin felt cool in my hands, smooth.

"NO!" Lily cried as my hands pinned her down. She laughed and struggled against me, holding her while James as Albus tickled her roughly. "Stop! I hate it!"

"Say I'm the greatest," Albus taunted as she laughed hard. We were all laughing pretty hard, her body still twisting under my restraint.

"I'm the greatest," Lily gasped with laughter. It was too much and we laughed harder. I released her.

"That's not what I meant," Albus said as Lily sprung on him, pinning him down on her own and tickling him. James laughed and was pounced on by Lily next. He tried to struggle away, but Lily managed to get a few tickles in before he over powered her and pulled free. I knew what was coming and I was already backing away when Lily looked at me, an evil glint in her eyes. I raised my hands in surrender, hoping to dissuade her from coming after me.

"Lily… get that look out of your eyes," I warned her as I increased the speed in which I backed through the bathroom. I saw her spring, poised to attack, and I took off running from her. She sprung on me as I turned, the two of us tumbling against Albus' bed. Her knees were on either side of my hips, her fingers touched my skin under my sweater as she tickled. I laughed, fighting the other sensations that were building deep within me.

"I got you," she laughed as she tickled me, her laughter light as her finger tips as the moved against my skin. I laughed, but the laughter was more to remind myself that this was tickling, nothing more. No matter how it felt, she was tickling me and nothing more. I was losing that argument and I twisted away easily, out from under her. She flung herself back against the bed, looking up at the ceiling like I was. I was grateful that she wasn't looking at me, certain that my body would betray how I felt. She was breathless, laughing, and I glanced at her when I was finally almost certain that I was in control of my body.

"Yeah, you think you're so great because you run fast," I teased her careful to make my voice light. Lily stuck her tongue out at me and jumped up off the bed. I sat up, watching her cautiously aware that it wouldn't take much to crumble the resolve that I had around me.

"Come on, Score, let's go see what Santa brought us," Lily teased back winking at me as she offered her hand. I hesitated, not certain that I could restrain from doing anything stupid. I took her offered hand and she smiled at me warmly. James pushed the door open to the room and grinned at us. I looked at him curiously, not certain as to why he was grinning.

"Ooh… holding hands," James teased, his arms crossed against his chest. I immediately dropped Lily's hand as if it was on fire and stepped away from her. My face felt like it was on fire. Lily made a face at her brother, ignoring me, and started towards the exit door.

"Let's go see if Mum and Dad are up," Lily said heading out the door into the hall. Harry and Ginny looked at all of us, smiling sleepily as we all hit the hallway at once.

"Happy Christmas, kids," Harry said as the we joined them and headed down the stairs. I glanced to see the Potter's tree surrounded by shiny wrapped packages. I couldn't help but feel the excitement that seemed to radiate from James, Albus, and Lily. "You guys are looking better, indeed. Less spotty."

"Not itchy," Albus said holding up his arms. I laughed, my own spots were nearly gone too.

"Good," Ginny said grinning sleepily passed us to pour herself a cup of too strong coffee. "We're still going to have to pass on going to Grandma Weasley's house though. She said she'd floo over here with dinner for us and the others, but yeah. With Grandpa Weasley feeling under the weather, she really isn't up to having a house full."

"But she sent presents," Harry said as he nodded toward the tree. We eyed the tree together collectively. "For all of you." Jams, Albus, and Lily immediately rushed towards the tree; I followed more reluctantly. I didn't know how to handle large family Christmases like this. Every year, there were presents under my very own little Christmas tree. I wasn't sure how I felt about the situation. I sat near the sofa in their living room, a little bit back as Harry handed each a gift. Lily took the seat near me, perched on the sofa. I felt the light weight of her hand on my shoulder, her mouth lowered to my ear.

"Pretend to be excited when my grandmother gets here," Lily breathed quickly. Her breath was warm, tantalizingly sweet, and it tickled me deep to my core. "She always makes us these sweaters and she likes to see us get excited about them."

"I will," I promised as I turned to face her. Our faces were unnaturally close and I could feel the temptation welling up inside me, threatening to break free again. I swallowed nervously as she grinned. Her cheeks had taken on a hint of a blush, a stain of embarrassed rosiness, and she sat back against the sofa, poised to unwrap her gifts. She got the standard fare, games, clothes, books, and whatever. Half of it looked muggle in origin. Harry caught my attention, holding out a box to me. I had a few opened gifts, randomness that supposedly showed that people really cared for me. I glanced down at the unfamiliar handwriting, seeing my name and Grandma Weasley was a little unnerving. I looked up at Lily briefly, smiling, and I winked at her as I moved to open the box.

"Mother Weasley hand makes the sweaters," Ginny told me as I admired the intensely green colored sweater, a silver thread serpent woven in it. It was amazing.

"Wow," I breathed as fingers traced the ornate design.

"She always did give non family members the better ones," Ginny teased as she saw the sweater. "Remember the one she made you Harry?"

"That I do," Harry chuckled.

"It's really great," I said truthfully. No one had ever made me anything before, and certainly never a sweater. It was amazing. Eagerly, I jerked off my own sweater, ignoring the fact that I only wore a skin tight white shirt underneath. I pulled the sweater on, amazed at the perfect fit of it. I looked at Lily, ignoring the way my hair fell into my face from the sweater. She was sitting there, her own sweater in her hand. "How does it look?"

"Uh…" Lily said staring. I had rendered Lily speechless and I grinned at the knowledge.

"Dashing, Scorpius. I swear she really goes all out for these things sometimes," Ginny said quickly grinning at me and I wondered if she was trying to spare Lily's feelings, the way that she seemed to jump in to save Lily from having to respond. "Kids, why don't you carry your stuff upstairs before Rose and Hugo get here for brunch."

"Ok, Mum," the boys said. Lily looked away quickly, gathering her presents and heading up to her room. I gathered mine and followed suite, leaving them on the bed. I reached under my pillow, the paper still perfect despite sleeping with the box under my pillow. It hadn't been uncomfortable like I had assumed that it would have been.

I took a few deep, steadying breaths. Her reaction would make or break me. I already knew this. I could feel my anxiety building in me and I closed my eyes. For a brief moment, I could feel someone beside me and I was afraid to open my eyes. I took another deep breath, a familiar friendly scent surrounding me, my mind suddenly went to thoughts of Darla, and I could feel the pressure of someone's hands on the small of my back, pushing me forward in encouragement. I took one final deep breath, opened my eyes, and crossed through the bathroom. I didn't hesitate at the door, instead I knocked and pushed the door open, my eyes landing on Lily.

She was standing with her back to me, facing her reflection in the mirror. Her expression looked slightly bewildered and a bit uncertain, as if she was experiencing something that not only confused her but tempted her in ways that I could only hope to one day tempt her. She was biting her bottom lip, practically chewing it, as she studied her expression. I hesitated.

"Are you ok?" I asked quietly as I looked at her. Lily looked at me in the reflection of the mirror and smiled slightly. Her face still held some of the confusion behind her smile.

"Yes," she said. She turned, crossing her arms as she looked at me. She suppressed her confusion and instead smiled at me broadly. "The sweater looks really good on you. She really out did herself."

"Your grandmother has talent. Mine wouldn't know what to wear if it weren't for shops and such," I joked as I walked towards her. Her smile faded for a moment and I hesitated, but the sensation of someone invisibly pushing me from behind propelled me forward and Lily half smiled and uncrossed her arms. She reached out and touched the silver threading of my sweater, her fingers hesitating as she caressed the design firmly. I suppressed the shiver that craved to shudder through me.

"She really did a wonderful job," Lily murmured. I laughed lightly and looked at the two of us in the mirror. I hesitated, looking at my hair.

"Wow, I really messed up my hair, didn't I?" I commented, trying to not focus on her too much. I wasn't sure that I could look at her for too long without losing my nerve, or control. Lily turned towards me, my eyes flickering to hers then back to the mirror. Lily looked up at my hair almost shyly then at she met my eyes in the mirror. She shook her head, though, and I wondered what it was all about.

"I like it. Kind of dangerous and reckless, in a tousled sort of way," Lily grinned as she looked away for a moment. I caught her eye in the mirror, her deep pools of blue almost drowning me, and I raised my eyebrow just like my father does. She laughed lightly at me, her hand remaining warm and small on my chest. "Trust me."

"I do," I breathed. I blushed at how soft and throaty I sounded, despite myself. I felt myself clearing my throat nervously. My stomach twisted with a mix of torment and excitement. Lily's eyes left mine and rested on her hand, still on my chest. She jerked her hand away, and her cheeks turned bright red.

"Sorry," she mumbled as she stepped away from me. I was grateful for the distance, a chance to collect my thoughts. I again felt the sensation of warmth, not in my back like before, not pushing me forward towards Lily, but in my hand and my eyes landed on the silver package I was still holding out of site.

"Here," I said quickly thrusting a small silver wrapped gift into her hand. It wasn't exactly the smoothest delivery I had planned, but I supposed it worked. "I didn't want to give it to you in front of your family in case you didn't like it."

"Oh, Score, you didn't have to get me anything," Lily said frowning at the package. Her words were so soft and she was already frowning, I knew it wasn't a good sign. Her delicate little fingers traced the loop on one side of the bow and I half expected her to toss the gift aside. My heart thundered in my chest. "I didn't get you anything."

"I don't care," I said genuinely as I forced a smile. I leaned against her bed, nearly sitting on it while trying to keep it light. I didn't want her tossing the gift back at me. It would have killed me. I winked at her, but she didn't see it, her eyes still on the box almost bewildered. I pressed, "Open it."

"Um, ok," Lily said shrugging and her casualness of it scraped at my insides. I was tempted to take it back, to tell her I made a mistake. I reached for it but I felt as if someone was holding my arms to me, unable to retrieve the gift. Instead, my eyes were focused on her, her nimble fingers loosening the bow. Almost as if in slow motion, the ribbon fell away from the package and slid through her finger like water. She didn't move to pick it up, and neither did I. I didn't move at all, holding my breath as she cautiously removed the tape. She stared at the wooden box for a moment before she looked at me. She was biting her lip, questions in her eyes, and I could hear my heart thundering in my chest. I couldn't speak so I nodded to her, urging her to continue. She seemed to understand what I was trying to convey because she opened the hinged box silent and look inside. Carefully, she dipped her hand into the box and pulled the chain slowly, painstakingly slow, from the box. Between us, the oval pendant dangled. Our eyes were both locked on it, as if it had hypnotized us. I swallowed.

"It's a locket," I told her. My voice came out low, almost hoarse, as if I hadn't spoken in a thousand years. She looked up at me, and damn if she was unreadable.

"A locket?" she asked me slowly. I managed a smile, taking the necklace from her. I slid my finger carefully along the side much as Mistress Penny had done all those years ago to show me the secret of the locket. It, as it had when I was a child, slowly opened and filled the room with the faint music. Lily looked at me in surprise. Her eyes widened and she stared at the pendant with wonder.

"It's a locket with a hidden music box inside," I explained. I looked at Lily, her expression frozen on her face. I snapped it close in my hand swiftly, the echo of the clicking, securing mechanism spanning between us. Her face remained the same. I felt my heart squeeze uncomfortably, and not in the way it usually did. It was rejection, a sour twisting rejection that made me want to run and flee. I forced myself to breath and I replied to her silence in strangled words. "You don't like it, do you?"

"I love it," she said in a breathless sort of way after shaking her head. "I just don't think I've ever had a gift so perfect for me." Her words sent my heart soaring. Until that moment, I never realized how much Lily's approval really meant to me. I was excited, unable to force my grin into submission.

"Let me help you put it on," I said eagerly as I held the chain in my hand. She was looking at me in the mirror now, turning her back to me so that I could more easily affix it. I unhooked the clasp and encircled her with it. Without meaning to, my fingers caressed her neck as I latched it again and I pulled my hands away, the chain resting on her slender neck. I was tempted to kiss where the clasp touched but Lily turned too quickly and threw her arms around me, hugging me. Her body was so warm pressed up against mine that I nearly stumbled and fell.

"I love it, Score. Thank you so much," she breathed excitedly in my ear. I couldn't respond with more than a quiet groan, my body threatening to show Lily how much I desired for her to be pressed against me so willingly. She pulled back a bit to look me in the eyes.

"I'm glad you like it," I said quietly as I looked at the conflicting emotions playing out in her expansive blue orbs.

"Now I feel bad that I didn't get you anything," Lily said to me as she pulled away. Her fingers automatically went to the locket, toying with it, and I wondered how much of that would remain once she got used to the weight of it. She looked at the necklace and pendant in the mirror, watching herself distractedly as she played with the locket.

"Don't," I told her. She was biting her bottom lip and seemed totally focused on her reflection. I wondered what she would say if I told her how much that simple action drove me mad with lust and longing. I blushed at the thought.

"Kids! Rose and Hugo are here!" Harry called from downstairs. Lily looked at me, conflict again in her eyes. I picked her sweater off the bed and held it out to her.

"You'd better get your sweater on," I said smiling at her lightly. Lily was still playing with the locket around her neck, her free hand stretched out for her sweater. In one beat of my heart, Lily was in my arms, her mouth crashing down on mine. It took all of my strength to turn my head and not pin her between me and her mattress. I was treading on very dangerous grounds, the amount of my desire for Lily and the knowledge that the timing wasn't the best. I pulled back from her and smiled lightly, trying to keep the edge of lust out of my voice. "No need to go soft on me Lils. It's not that big of a deal."

"Oh," Lily said slightly dejected. I swore silently at myself as she pulled her sweater on over her head. I hadn't meant to reject her and I feared that was exactly as she had taken it. It killed me inside, not knowing what I wanted, to what degree. I stepped closer to her for a moment, despite my shaky resolve, and I lowered my mouth to her ear to whisper. I fought my urge to kiss her neck or bury my face in her hair, instead I just spoke, trying to keep my voice even.

"Don't get me wrong, Lils," I said in a breathy sort of way in her ear. I kicked my internal self for not being more in control of my lust. "It's not that I don't want to kiss you. I do more than I could ever tell you, but don't feel obligated to kiss me because I gave you a little present."

"I… ok," Lily said frowning slightly. I kissed her cheek and pulled away, unable to concentrate on much more than not attacking her, not taking her there. I struggled for a moment, trying to keep my resolve.

"Let's go eat brunch," I recommended. I had no other choice. If I had remained, I couldn't be held responsible for my actions. I nearly sprinted from the room, afraid of what would happen if I was alone with Lily Potter for one more moment. I wanted her, truly wanted her, in ways I had never wanted a girl before. It was frightening and intoxicating. I felt the warmth of hands trying to pull me back and I wondered if Darla was trying to keep up with her promise, as she had, from the grave. The thought sent chills through me and I darted into the kitchen to greet the others.

I tried my hardest to keep my eyes to myself, but every time I looked up, Lily was looking at me, her face would light up, heat rising to our cheeks. Either she or I would look away quickly once caught, round and round we went in a vicious cycle that boiled my blood and made me crave things I didn't quite understand. I wanted her, to be with her, like no other person I have ever been near in my life. I was so certain that every person in there could look at my face and see the welcomed torment with in me.

While the girls cleaned up, James, Albus, Hugo, and I tried to play a few of James and Albus' new video games but the thick white snow called to us, begged for us to make snowmen and to have snowball fights. We fought it, fat and warm from our large brunch, but the snow continued to beckon to us, urging us until it was undeniable, unavoidable.

"We should go see if the girls want to go play in the snow with us," James said as he held up his controller in utter victory. I silently swore as my character lay dead in a pool of it's own blood.

"You just want to quit while your ahead," I challenged but tossed the controller down. James laughed and lead the way out the room, Hugo and Albus' heads together plotting.

"Let's go play in the snow," James said to the girls as we entered the room. I glanced at him and nearly laughed as he wiggled his eyebrows at them. "All bets off."

"Sounds like a threat there, Potter," Rose taunted as she reached for her coat. James was already there, snatching his gear off the hooks. Hugo and Albus had already pushed their way through their older siblings, leaving the rest of us behind as they headed out.

"Indeed it does, Speckles," James tease tweaking his cousin's nose. The two of them didn't bother pulling on their coats first, just grabbed them as they ran out the door. I could see Albus and Hugo already creating a snow fort and building up their arsenal of snowballs. I watched Lily for a moment, trailing behind the others as she reached to take her coat off the hook. I had grabbed mine from where I had left it draped over a chair the last time I had gone to cut wood. Lily slowly walked to the hook, reaching to take her coat off the hook when I stepped up beside her, straightening my own warm coat around me. I began to pull free my scarf, knowing that she had already replaced hers a few times from before. I wound it around her neck, grinning.

"I'd hate to think you cold out there," I told her quietly. Lily blushed and nodded.

"And you?" she replied. I watched curiously as her fingers trembled as they worked the buttons. I grinned at the thought that maybe I was having the same effect on her that she was having on me.

"I'm covered," I promised her as I pulled a little of the delicate green and silver fabric of a female Slytherin scarf. Her eyes went to it immediately and widened with the knowledge that I had her scarf after all.

"Mine?" she breathed, her words sending shivers down my spine. Her face lit up brightly and a smile played on my lips playfully. "I knew you had my scarf!"

"Shh!" I whispered lightly as I pressed my finger to her lips. They felt so soft, so tempting and with them parted slightly, I could feel her breath on me, teasing me, taunting me. I grinned, trying defuse the conflict rearing up inside me. "You think you'd be better at being quiet, yet you never can hush for a second."

"So, are you going to explain?" she asked me with a knowing smile on her face.

"I guess Ash took it," I lied lightly, shrugging. Lily rolled her eyes, not believing me for a second. Hell, I didn't believe me, either. I leaned forward, about to kiss her and decided that I better not tempt myself so readily. I pulled her hat down over her eyes, laughing. Before she could recover, I was already sprinting out the door, half in jest, half in need to put some distance between us before I really lost control. Even reminding myself the my betrothed had just died, or that Lily was just thirteen helped quell the desire that pent up so uncomfortably inside of me. I heard her laughter in persuit of me, and I tried to run faster, vaguely aware of something trying to hold me back, pull me back. I groaned slightly at the thought that if Darla had turned into a ghost and was haunting me, it was going to be very uncomfortable. Out of not where, a ice cold snowball collided with the back of my head. I continued to run, scooping up snow as I did. I flung it blindly behind me, vaguely aware that it had fallen apart well before I hit her.

"Come back here and face me like a man, Scorpius Malfoy," Lily taunted me as I ducked behind the shed. I pulled up short, just around the edge and waited for her. She ran by me, not realizing that I was waiting and she squealed as I put my arm out, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her into my arms. That last part was accidental.

"Thought you'd catch me, eh? And here I caught you," I taunted her, my mouth near her ear. She pulled back slowly, laughing, but with a glint of trouble in her eyes. She glanced to the snowball in her hand, my eyes following. I looked at her almost pleadingly. "No, Lils, please."

"Oh," Lily said grinning as she shook her head and crushed the snowball on my head, the snow slipping down between my collar and neck. I laughed as she pulled free of my arms and ran off, ducking behind the rubbish bins. I ran after her, trying to find her and managed to run straight through the snow ball fight of Rose and James versus Hugo and Albus. I dove to the ground, barely missing being onslaught of snowballs. From where I was crouching, I saw Lily running off in the opposite direction. I scrambled up out of the snow and took off after her. I reached for her, tripping over a snow covered item and fell into Lily. Luckily, a soft snow drift caught us and she was laughing. Playing off my fall, I laughed.

"I told you, I'd catch you again," I teased her as I had her pinned to the snow. Reaching beside her, I scoop up a handful of snow. Her eyes glanced at the loose grip of snow and she shook her head.

"Score, wait," Lily pleaded as she fought a fit of laughter. I smirked at her, shaking my head and ground the snow into her hair. It covered her hair, clung to the stands and fluttered down around her face. She laughed hard, unable to hold it in and I continued to scoop up more snow and cover her in it, as if I were trying to bury her. I felt her shift slightly under me and a warming sensation flooded my body.

"I win," I said, not allowing my voice to take on that quiet tone that it tended to when I talked to her. It was embarrassing when it happened, when she reacted to me that way. She laughed as she struggled a little under me causing my blood to boil a bit more, my desire to increase. It was an alarming sensation as her movement under me warmed me and stirred me, while the sudden fistful of snow slid down the front of my shirt. Her fingers were frozen, and yet they burned where they touched me. I jumped up, alarmed, despite myself.

"How's that?" she taunted. I looked at her, laying still on the ground below me, looking up as I tried to force the snow from my shirt.

"That was downright cruel, Lils," I told her as I glared at her with a hunter's look in my eye, readying to pounce on her. She looked at me in mock horror. "I think I'm going to have to teach you a lesson."

"Ooh," Lily taunted as she started to crawl away. I pounced on her, feral like, pinning her again against the snow again. I scooped large handfuls of snow and thrust them down her shirt, ignoring the heat from her body against my hand.

"Two can play at that game, Lils," I taunted her as I fell away from her, my back against the cold snow. I ignored the cold, the shivers, as she giggled, scooping the snow out of her clothes. We looked up at the sky from ou position in the snow, the cold threatening to freeze us. I focused on breathing, trying to match mine to hers. Without warning, Lily rolled to her side, her body pressing against mine lightly enough to not bother, but enough to cause a slight hitch in my breathing. I glanced around, thankful that we were hidden behind the shed. How convenient!

"I was thinking," Lily said quietly as her fingers toyed with the buttons on my jacket. I looked at her face, uncertain as she bit her bottom lip, wondering what she was thinking. She continued to play with the buttons on my jacket, still not saying anything and the silence stretched between us.

"Yeah?" I murmured slightly, startled by how deep it had come out. I was beyond the years of tormenting changes, and yet there was this deepness that rarely escaped me that tripped me up. I was looking at her face, and her eyes immediately met mine, as if she recognized the change in my voice. Her cheeks were rosy, her lips kissable, and I felt as if I was being drawn into her. It was crazy. Her fingers touched my cheek, traced my mouth gently. I couldn't stop myself. I reached to her own face, ran my thumb over her lips. Where she touched me tingled deep inside, and where I touched her felt like electricity running through my fingers. My heart was pounding and I didn't need that warmth of someone pushing me towards Lily. I didn't think. I pulled her hard against my body, ignoring the snow, and I kissed her roughly. I cradled her face, her hands nearly frozen against mine, but my body felt as if it was on fire. I couldn't stop myself. I didn't want to. My mouth left hers, the sweet warmth of her beautiful lips and tongue, and I kissed her, my mouth trailing along her jaw. Even in the icy cold, I was hard.

"I…" Lily murmured as my mouth trailed up to her ear. I could feel her pulse in my hand, her own breathing as quick and excited as my own.

"It's too cold out here," I breathed headily in her ear, her body convulsing excited for a moment against mine.

"Inside?" Lily barely whispered. My heart stopped for a moment, then took off pounding in my chest.

"Yes," I breathed excitedly, not sure what exactly we planned to do, or whether we could actually do anything, but the thought, the idea that maybe we could continue this a little more private excited me further. I was sure she was aware of how much I wanted to close the distance between us right there and then. She pulled away almost reluctantly, and that made me happier than I could ever imagine. Without saying anything, Lily had made me aware of how much she wanted to be with me. We stood next to each other, hesitating before we moved toward the house.

Lily's mom, Grandmother, and her Aunt Hermione were sitting at the table in the kitchen, sipping coffee as we closed the door and began to remove our outer wear. The three They hesitated before they headed inside. Ginny, Molly Weasley, and Hermione were at the table, sipping coffee, as Scorpius and Lily began undressing from their snow gear.

"Shoes, off, socks off," Ginny said as she barely looked up us. "I don't want any of you getting sick. All wet clothes off." I immediately removed my shoes and socks, glancing at my bare feet critically. My toes looked too long in my opinion. I glanced away and to Lily's grandmother.

"The sweater is lovely, Mrs. Weasley," I said as my fingers went to the silver serpent on the front of the sweater. The woman looked at me and smiled kindly, warmly, as if she truly enjoyed the time it had to have taken to make that sweater. I believed she must have really enjoyed it. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome, dear," Grandmother Weasley said as she offered me an even warmer smile. That unconditional love, it was something that I was not used to from random people. It was warming.

"I'll put them in the dryer," Ginny offered. "You two need to get into dry clothes and get some hot chocolate in you." I pulled my sweater off over my head, my back to them, and I tugged my shirt back down to my jeans. Ginny offered me a cup of hot cup of cocoa while she waited on Lily. I glanced at Lily out of the corner of my eye. She was holding her own cup of cocoa in one hand, jerking her shoes and socks off with the other. I grinned as she peeled her wet sweater off of her body and I glimpsed her bare midriff, before she, too righted her shirt. I watched her sort of dazedly as she walked up stairs, still drinking her cocoa, and I started to follow her.

"Scorpius, wait dear," Grandmother Weasley called to me. I paused at the bottom step and turned to look at the three women, Ginny who was starting the machine, Hermione and Molly Weasley at the table.

"Yes, ma'am?" I replied as I waited.

"I wanted to express my condolences to you about Darla Goyle," she told me. I glanced upstairs for the moment.

"Thank you," I replied.

"You know, dear, if it's too painful to tell the other kids…" Grandmother Weasley said to me in a kind voice.

"I told James," I confessed. I hated it, the way my voice trembled as I spoke of it. "And I will tell Lily… I will… I just…"

"It's ok," Ginny said in a motherly tone as she patted my shoulder. I hadn't realized that she had made her way to me.

"I will tell her, I promise," I said quietly. "I just want her to have a nice holiday. I'll tell her after Christmas."

"It'll be ok, Scorpius," Ginny promised me. I looked up at her and nodded once. Dismissed, I ran upstairs and headed straight into the shower. I hoped that the hot water would drive away the chill that seemed to have sunk in. I jerked on a pair of pants and a tee shirt, running my hands through my hair for a moment before I headed to Lily's bedroom door. I tapped on it lightly as I entered.

Lily looked up at me as I stood in her door way, barefoot and wearing only sweat pants and a tee shirt. I tried to stop myself, but the sight of her standing there by her bed, looking absolutely normal and yet absolutely ethereal over took my senses and I rushed her. My mouth met hers, our tongues dancing, as I pushed her back against her bed. She felt amazingly warm in my arms, tasted sweet like the cocoa she had been drinking and of her own taste. I felt the urges, my hormonal teenage male angst driven urges build up in me as she buried her fingers in my hair, the wet strands causing resistance against her fingers. I shifted above her, on top of her, and the way she felt below me was maddening. She held herself against me, not shying away, and it made me want her even more.

Finally, for a moment, she pulled back, a smile on her face. We were both breathing hard, and there was nothing I wanted to do more than to continue to kiss her at that moment. Well, there was, but I knew that was not the path we were reasonably going to follow at the moment. I smiled at her again, lowering my mouth to hers, sampling her mouth before trailing down to her jaw, and slipping just below to her neck.

"I love you," she breathed. I froze, my heart slamming to a halt. I pulled back, my face betraying my shock, and I frowned.

"Don't say that," I said in quiet fear. "It's not fair to hear." Her confessing that she loved me, I just couldn't handle it. I felt rotten.

"I don't care," she said again, her angelic face set in an almost comically childish pout.

"I don't deserve your love, Lils," I told her as I pulled away, rolling onto my back so that I was merely lying next to her on the bed. I couldn't bring myself to look at her, to know she loved me, truly loved me and I couldn't confess to her, to alleviate the guilt she no doubted struggled with over Darla. I didn't deserve her love at all. She was too good for me, and I didn't deserve her.

"Scorpius! Your dad's here!" Ginny called from the bottom of the stairs. For the first time in my life I found myself sprinting, running from Lily and glad that someone had interrupted us. I didn't want to risk what I was afraid of in my heart. I was pretty certain, though afraid to admit, that I loved Lily, too. And it wasn't that I was afraid of my love for Lily, no, but I was afraid that for once, we were on the same page, and I didn't want to risk losing her now that she was well within my reach.


	19. Christmas the Six

**A/N: **I know I've been slacking. Things have been hectic, but, you know… better late than never. Also, here in the next couple of months, you will probably see a change as my country of location from USA to another country. I'll keep you all informed. Oh, and there is a lot of copying and pasting here, because part of this was sort of already in Scorpius' POV in the original.

**Disc.:** Borrowed for my diversions.

* * *

**Christmas the Sixth**

My dad looked at me curiously as I sat down across from him at the table. Perhaps he could tell that there was something different about me, the flush in my cheeks or maybe the way I averted my eyes after only seconds of meeting his. I didn't help matters that I had come in as my dad was talking about Lily.

"Yeah, with as well as the kids get along, Lily really should come with us to the islands," my dad said as he looked at Harry. "I mean, it's work for me, but there are some fun things for the kids to do, and my mother would accompany Lily as her chaperon."

"Wow, that's very generous of you," Harry said as he looked at Ginny. She nodded once.

"It'd be up to her of course," Ginny said.

"Of course," Dad said smiling at Ginny. Lily walked in and we all looked up. She was cradling her cat, Asher, and got the fur ball some tuna on a plate.

"With your mom being a chaperon, there shouldn't be any issues," Harry said confidently. He glanced at me and I fought to suppress a grin. There would definitely not be any issues. Lily seemed oblivious to us as she walked the cat into the garage. I watched her carefully, not wanting to look too eager or interested. I was already in deep trouble with her, and I didn't need anyone else to know it. She sat, not meeting my eyes, her fingers tracing a random, invisible pattern on the smooth table top.

"So, it's Lily's choice then," Dad said smiling. Her head snapped up at the mention of her name, almost reflexively.

"What?" Lily asked. Her voice held surprise that she had come up, her name at least, in the conversation she wasn't paying any attention to. Heat touched her cheeks for a moment, a quickly and subtle blush.

"Malfoy, er, Draco has invited you to spend part of the summer with him and Scorpius at the beach in the islands," Ginny said to her. Lily blushed harder. I looked down at the table for a second, grinning, before I looked back at her with a straight, tell-less expression.

"Oh, well, that's really kind, thank you," Lily said quietly as she looked at me with confusion. I wondered what was going through her mind right then. Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly, but I remained stoic. It was her decision, one way or another. It wasn't my place to choose for her, though I was excited by the prospect of getting to spend at least part of the summer with her. I wanted her to say yes but I couldn't decide that for her.

"Of course, with O.W.L.s coming up, I'm sure Scorpius will be very busy," Hermione said. The adults at the table collectively rolled their eyes and groaned at her response. I contained my urge to laugh. My dad had told me quite a bit about the adults at the table, including how bossy and bookish Mrs. Weasley had been in school. "A holiday at the beach would be just the thing to decompress."

"I… I will think about it," Lily said hesitantly as her eyes flickered to me briefly. I pretended that I didn't see. She forced a smile. "I'm going to lie down. I think all the snow has zapped me at the moment."

"There's plenty of time to decide," Draco said quietly. He smiled at her, a genuine smile, and Lily nodded once.

"Happy Christmas, Mr. Malfoy," Lily murmured before she headed upstairs alone. I watched her walk upstairs, but the only person who seemed to notice was my dad, and Malfoys don't rat-out other Malfoys.

"Have you told her yet?" Draco asked me cautiously. I pulled my attention back to the adults who were looking at me rather sympathetically.

"Not yet," I said again for what seemed like the millionth time. I knew I needed to tell her but I was holding back, not wanting to ruin her holiday. The longer I waited, the harder it was going to be, I got it. I understood.

"You don't have to do this on your own," my dad told me. I knew this, as well. Everyone had offered to help or to even be the one to tell Lily. I didn't know why I was so insistent that it be me. Maybe I hoped that she'd rush into my arms, declaring her love to me. Too late, she had already done that.

I left the table and headed up to the television room. There was a dreadfully long muggle film on Scottish War on, men running about in kilts and face paint. I looked away from the movie to Lily. She was on her back, one arm across her body, the other tucked behind her head. She was asleep, the rhythmic rise and fall of her breathing almost mesmerizing. I stepped forward, curiously watching for her signs of feigned sleep.

"Lils, you asleep?" I breathed as I stroked her cheek with my fingers. She didn't wake, just mumbled something and turned towards my touch, her face now pressed into her arm. I laughed quietly and sat down in front of her. I glanced up as James flung himself in one of the spare chairs, the thing creaking in protest.

"You like her, don't you?" James asked me with his voice quiet. I hesitated, wondering if I should lie or tell the truth. James and I weren't exactly mates, and this was his younger sister, but what good would have it done for me to lie? He could probably read it on my face.

"Yeah," I grunted in confession. I quickly looked away from him, almost afraid of what I'd see. Would he be angered? Disgusted? Lily was, after all, his baby sister. We waited in silence for a bit, the movie playing out in all its bloody gore as a man received an arrow in the fleshy part of a bare butt cheek.

"Please don't hurt her," James threatened in a low voice as Rose entered. "Because if you do, I'll hurt you."

"Hey, hot cocoa," Rose interrupted James' threat at me as she pressed a mug into his hand. My eyes flickered to her for a moment. "Awe, I swear. If I had a baby sister, I swear I'd want her to be just like Lily."

"Take her," James laughed as we watched Rose walk across the room. "She's too girly for me, even with Quidditch."

"Eh, she's perfect the way she is," I said smiling as I glanced over my shoulder at her. She sighed quietly, turning away from the back of the couch, her arm now dangling over the edge of the couch. Lily's arm rested against my body, heat rising off of it. I could smell her invading my head and I fought the urge to grown.

"You'd think so," Rose challenged. I looked up at her almost in discomfort, her eyes trained on me, their look meaningful.

"Yeah," I sighed in almost defeat. I apparently hadn't hid it very well, though I didn't realize that I was being that obvious about my attraction to Lily.

"This is not good, Scorpius," Rose reminded me carefully. I nodded once, looking back to see a man charging another man.

"I know," I grunted. It was quiet for a moment, the only sounds were coming quietly from the television as the war continued.

"Have you told her about Darla?" James asked quietly. I glanced at him for a second, his legs draped over the arm rest of the chair casually.

"Not yet," I shook my head. I took a deep breath, readying to explain. It felt like I was explaining this a lot. "I just want her to have a Happy Christmas, you know?"

"It's been a week since it happened," Rose whispered to me. I looked over at her, her eyes sad and sympathetic.

"I know," I promised. "I'm going to tell her soon."

"I was surprised that you dad didn't let anything slip," James said quietly. I glanced back at Lily, her breathing coming slow and steady.

"I told him not to say anything," I confessed. I continued to look at Lily, the desire to brush some of her hair out of her face nearly overwhelming. I stayed strong, though, keeping my fingers to myself. "He trusts me to handle it properly."

"Funny how it worked out," James said. I shrugged, not really seeing where there was anything funny about it.

"I'm sad and thankful, all in the same," I admitted.

"You know, if it's too hard, Mum and Dad will tell her for you," James told me. I knew this, having been told this several times. It was wearing on me, as if everyone thought that I was avoiding it for some reason. I was, but still…

"I'll do it," I snapped. "Just not today. Tomorrow, or maybe the next day."

"You wait too long, you run the risk of one her friends telling her," Rose prodded gently. Her words were true, but I didn't want to hear them.

"How the hell am I supposed to tell her and not hurt her?" I growled in demand. "I just promised you I wouldn't hurt her."

"She's going to be upset and hurt no matter who tells her," James said to me. "I don't think that counts. Plus I meant that I'd get you if you hurt her. This is just her." I waited a moment, trying to understand what the hell he had just said. I frowned.

"That doesn't make any sense," I said shaking my head.

"Yeah, it does," James defended.

"Not really," Rose remarked. James shot a look at her, and I smirked. He didn't like to be contradicted, not that I blamed him, but hell if he wasn't making a lick of sense.

"You're supposed to be on my side," James said. She laughed at him, and I joined in.

"There are no sides, James," Rose reminded. She looked up as Albus and Hugo bound into the room, grinning from ear to ear. I glanced over at the two, aware that they were up to no good. Their smiles were just too falsely innocent.

"Dad's taking us down to the pond to ice skate," Albus said. His hands were behind his back. He stepped up to the back of the couch. I saw his eyes flicker to Lily but they returned to looking at the three of us as if he'd never taken his eyes off of us. "You guys in?"

"Yeah," James and Rose said.

"Sure," I said. I looked at Lily still sleeping on the couch. "Should we wake her?"

"We've got it covered," Hugo laughed as they dumped fists full of snow on her face. Lily jumped up with a screech, disoriented and pissed. I jumped back quickly, not wanting to get hit by her. Some of the snow the boys had dumped on her had landed on me, anyways.

"Hugo! Albus! I'm going to _kill_ you!" She screamed as she jumped over the back of the couch, poised to kill them. They laughed and bolted out of the television room, her on his feet and running out of the room. I laughed. I couldn't help it. I brushed the snow off my arm as I stood, Rose a few steps away from me now as she started sweeping the snow off the sofa.

"Not much of a morning person still," Rose laughed. The three of us headed out of the T.V. room, down the stairs, and halted at the base of the steps. We watched in amusement as Lily had Hugo pinned to the floor. The adults were sitting at the table, half frozen with shock and amusement. Albus was within arm's reach, jinxed with a leg-locking curse. Lily didn't seem to notice that there was an audience watching.

"I swear to Merlin and to the Wizengamut that you will pay dearly," Lily said as she slapped Hugo's stomach into a nice strawberry color.

"Lily," Ginny said quietly after Lily abused Albus with the same belly slapping technique. "No underage magic outside of school."

"Uh," Lily said looking up at everyone. She stood, her face blazing hot in embarrassment and she cleared her throat as if she were about to make a speech. I watched her in amazement, the snow that was melting in her hair glinted like little diamond hung in the darkening strands. "So, what's the plan for the rest of the day?"

"Ice skating at the pond," Harry said with a smirk. I looked away from Lily to Harry for a moment.

"Sounds like fun," Lily said. "How about ice hockey?"

"Ice hockey?" My dad asked and I turned to look at him before returning my gaze to Lily. She wasn't looking at me, instead she was glancing out the window, her hands twisting and wringing each other.

"Muggle sport," Harry said. He grinned. "You'll love it." I turned my head back to my father in confusion. He was coming with us?

"You're coming with us?" I asked frowning.

"Fathers should spend time with their sons," Grandmother Weasley said to me. I nodded once.

"Wouldn't that apply to Mr. Malfoy taking care of Grandfather Malfoy?" Lily asked innocently. I watched her begin to pull clothes from the dryer. "Is his Dragon Pox any better?"

"Um," Dad said as his eyes met mine. I could feel everyone's gaze on me, heavy.

"Well, Lucius doesn't _have_ Dragon Pox anymore," I said hesitantly. She smiled at me, the only way that Lily could, and it seized the unhappy words in my throat.

"That's good," Lily said as she handed me my sweater, the one that Grandma Weasley had made me. "I'll be back down in a bit. Don't go and try to leave without me."

"We won't," Harry promised as he looked away from me for a moment.

"I'm going to talk to her later," I promised quickly. "I just want to wait until the moment is right."

"I told you, if it's too hard we don't have a problem talking to her," Ginny reminded me.

"It's complicated, that's all," I confirmed. Yeah, it was complicated and messy and I didn't want Lily to have a bad holiday. It was a real mess.

"I still think she's too good for you," Ron said to me crossing his arms. "Too good to be a Slytherin." His wife, Hermione, elbowed him hard, hissing his name in protest.

"You don't know her, Uncle Ron," Albus said laughing hard at a private joke that no one seemed to know. "She's downright diabolical."

"Are you talking about me," Lily teased as she bounced down the stairs. She was grinning, Asher on her heels, her hair flipping behind her as entered the kitchen. She was wearing the sweater again, her eyes sparkled with love and light. How could I take away that happiness?

"Always," James teased as he rolled his eyes. "I swear. You are so conceited sometimes."

"I learned it from the best, big brother," Lily laughed as she threw her arm around his shoulders. Even though James was just her brother, I felt a pang of jealousy. I wanted her arms around me again. "Come on. I can't wait to whoop you on the ice."

"As clumsy as you are?" Rose snorted. Lily shot her a look but the other's laughed.

"I'm not clumsy," Lily frowned. "I just don't know how to break."

"Ok, ok," Harry laughed as he could see things quickly accelerating. "Bundle up and lets all go."

Donning winter wear, we all squeezed into Harry's van. It was a tight fit. Hermione ended up sitting on Ron's lap, Dad was next to Grandma Weasley, and the girls ended up sitting on the floor. I almost offered to let Lily sit in my lap, but I didn't. I knew she'd say no, and frankly I didn't want to put myself in a position of not only rejection but scrutiny. Instead, she settled against the side of the van, her shoulder pressed against my leg. It gave me an unobstructed view of her.

"Do you think that they're going to get Ballego to join the South American Quidditch team?" James asked his Uncle Ron. I half listened while I watched Lily pull a book out from under one of the seats. She settled back, opening it, and began to read. After a minute, she looked up at me, her eyes meeting mine.

"What?" She hissed at me. I grinned and shook my head.

"Nothing," I told her.

"Oh, ok," Lily laughed at me, rolling her eyes. She went back to reading the book. My heart began to race when she rested her head against my knee, her eyes devouring the words on the pages.

"Oh, is that the new _Day Walker_ book?" Rose hissed at her. Lily looked up, grinning, her face lighting up..

"No, I've not gone to get it yet," Lily said. "I'm re-reading the third one, first before I beg Dad to take me to get it."

"_Day Walker_?" I asked James as I turned to look at him. I had never heard of these books before. James rolled his eyes.

"Some stupid muggle series," James said shaking his head. "Totally girly. It's definitely not something _our_ kind would read about."

"What's it about?" I asked curiously as Lily's cheek pinked slightly.

"Magic," Lily said. Lily glanced at Rose and the two of them started giggling.

"Uh, ok?" I said not really getting what was so funny. We read books about magic all the time at school. It didn't seem too funny to me.

"It's a muggle book, so it's complete hogwash," Hermione explained to me, turning to look at me while she spoke. Her face was twisted with annoyance and disgust. "A few of the kids around the neighborhood got hooked and of course these two got hooked. Trashy, I say. If you want to read about magic, read a text book."

"Mum, you just don't _get_ it," Rose said with an almost exasperated tone to her voice.

"It's not _about_ the magic," Lily confirmed. She looked at Rose, who prompted erupted in a fit of giggles with her.

"I still don't get it," I said with a confused sort of smile on my face. James sighed.

"We don't either," James confessed. Girls were so weird sometimes, I just didn't see what the big deal was about the book, but apparently it was not meant to be understood by me.

Lily turned back to the page, reading it. I hate to admit it but I watched her, saw how she sometimes smiled at the pages, sometimes frowned, and occasionally would hold her breath just to release it in a shuddering manner some pages later. Her reactions were amusing. I wondered what the hell was so interesting that it would cause her to have those reactions, but I knew that I couldn't very well ask her in front of all her family there. She bit her lip, leaning forward and for a moment I wanted to help her with that. It was maddening.

Lucky for me, the van stopped and we all began to tumble out. The girls had been most cramped and they took a minute to stretch their legs while Hugo and Albus began pushing and shoving each other for the joy of it. I looked at the book as I climbed free, the corner bent over to hold her place as I tried to submit the title to memory for later.

We all pulled our skates on, careful to tie them tightly before we headed over to the pond. Lily's Uncle Ron checked the thickness of the ice and then we were all set free to skate as we pleased, the adults watching as we took to the ice. I saw first hand what they meant when they said that Lily was clumsy. She was awesome fast, faster than even James probably, but she had no ability to stop and landed in the goals a few times, and once even knocked Rose down. I could only imagine how much rear to ice contact must hurt.

After what seemed like her twentieth time on her butt, I skated up to her, offering hand. She took it in hers, our mittens keeping our hands warm and free of skin to skin contact. It probably helped keep my head clear.

"Do you want me to teach you to stop?" I offered as she gingerly rubbed her bottom. I laughed as she turned to face me "Or at least to turn to avoid a collision?"

"Sure," she replied, grinning as I took her by the arm. "But be warned, everyone has tried to teach me and I just can't learn."

"I think I can teach you," I said confidently. Lily laughed. She actually laughed at me for it.

"Your funeral," she teased me. My heart stopped for a moment, a wave of emotion flooding over me. Before I could say anything or react, I found myself rushing to the ground, Lily's grip still tight on my arm.

"Ouch, Lils," I grunted as I struggled back to my feet. I hadn't expected to fall down quite so soon in teaching her to stop.

"Sorry," Lily said shrugging sheepishly. Her cheeks were pink, be it from cold or embarrassment, I didn't know.

"It's ok," I grumbled and she laughed.

I really tried to teach her, I did, but apparently stopping wasn't something that Lily could learn. I ended up staring at the sky more times than I would care to admit, a few times on my stomach. Without meaning to, plenty of swear words were grunted in protest but it didn't seem to help much, Lily still fell and she still drug me down with her. I felt bad for her because she was trying, really, but she just wasn't getting it. If falling was a skill, she'd have that down pat, but since she was aiming at stopping, we were failing epically. She seemed as frustrated as I was, and I wondered if she had put too much faith in my ability to teach her. She'd rise, force a smile at me, and try again. I felt as if I was failing her.

"I'm sorry, Score," Lily groaned as she lie on her back, rubbing the back of her head. She still looked like she was going to get back up and try again, and as much as I hated to think it, I thought perhaps it was time for her to give up and maybe wear a helmet and padded bottoms when she ice skated.

"It's ok," I said to her quietly as I helped her up again for the twentieth thousand time. I grinned at her, my thoughts twirling in my head. "I've got an idea. It won't teach you to turn or stop, but at least you'd get to do more than go into a straight line until you crashed."

"I'm game for anything you are suggesting," Lily said as she stood next to me and for a moment I wondered wickedly is she truly meant anything I suggested. I forced those thoughts from my head before she could read them on my face and I grinned at her, sliding my arm around her and resting my hand on her hip. Her face flushed slightly, the heat radiating off her body.

"Let me lead," I breathed slightly as I started us in a slow loop. She laughed as she looked at me.

"This is nice," Lily admitted. She snuggled against me, my heart taking off in my chest with excitement as we did a few laps.

"Yeah, it is," I agreed as I looked over at my dad sitting with Harry and the other adults. I sighed slightly without meaning to.

"Is something wrong?" Lily asked as she looked to where I was looking. I shook my head.

"Not really," I said as I forced a smile. "I just want to talk to you later, if you don't mind."

"About?" Lily asked. I knew my smile waivered slightly. It was getting to be time for me to tell her, to tell Lily that Darla had died and that I wasn't bound by the marital contract anymore. I felt the warmth of a hand on my shoulder, almost encouraging met.

"My official engagement to Darla," I whispered, afraid to break the silence that seemed to drape over us. Lily closed her eyes for a second as she exhaled.

"Well, we knew this was coming," Lily said forcing a smile. She hugged me briefly and skated away. I felt the warmth of the invisible hand push me toward Lily, as if telling me to chase after her.

"Wait, Lily," I called. She looked back at me, her toe pick catching the ice. She ended up face first in to the ice, her arm catching her just in time to not scrape up her pretty face. I stopped and offered her my hand, but she rejected it, standing on her own. How I adore that about her. She looked at me and stomped her skate into the ice in a momentary slip of age.

"I'm sick of stuff not working out," Lily snapped at me. Her eyes were tearing up, upset, and she didn't bother to brush them away. Instead she stomped her foot again to make her point. It was as if in slow motion. The sound of the ice cracking sounded like it was in my head, echoing. We both seemed to look down as the ice seemed to split open like a mouth, a vortex ready to consume us. I looked back up at her horrified face. She was quicker on her feet and her hands collided with my chest with such force that I landed on my back and slid away from her as the icy water consumed her whole. I yelled for her, the words meaningless even in my head as she dipped below the icy surface, gone. I jerked my head and yelled for our parents before I returned to looking at the icy hole that seemed to be freezing up, slush forming at the water's surface. Panic consumed me.

"We can't get any closer!" Ginny shouted to me as the ice creaked and groaned underneath them. I looked at them, still at least ten, maybe twenty, feet from me. I hadn't moved, still on my back, still looking at the hole, hoping Lily would surface. She was running out of time, but I didn't know that. I didn't know anything. I jerked off my coat and my skates, tossing them aside. I rolled carefully on my stomach, the ice groaning under me.

"Lily! Lily!" I called to her, panicked, as I slid across the ice to the opening. It seemed to take forever to get there and I hoped that she could hold on. I ignored the tears that seemed to be stealing away from my eyes, just reached into the water. I have never felt water so cold, the ice burned at my flesh as if it were fire and not ice that I had plunged my hands into. It stung, stealing my breath. I reached deeper, my numb hands searching for her, until the water lapped at my shoulders and slid down the front of my sweater. Some of the water had already turned to ice in my sleeves. "Lily! Please!"

Then, as if someone was taunting me, I felt something brush my numbing fingers. I grabbed at it, missing, and dread threatened to consume me. I didn't know how much time had passed, how much time she had been under the water. I pushed forward, the water cresting my chin. I could feel those same invisibly warm hands there with me, as if holding me from falling in. I said a silent prayer, asking anyone, everyone to help me find Lily and for her to be ok. I felt the warmth on my cheek and I slipped forward, slushy water entering my mouth. I never once thought that I was falling in myself, face first. The warm hands held me firmly, and then as if by a miracle, I felt something familiar and soft brush my hand. I didn't care what it was, I just grabbed on with my frozen fingers and held on, tugging and pulling.

Her hand broke the surface of the water first and I dove arm first in to the water, teetering on the edge and threatening to fall in myself as I slipped my arms around her body and pulled her out of the frozen water. Her head fell back, her skin was so blue and ice cold. I lowered my ear to her mouth, straining to hear anything remotely like a breath. She wasn't breathing and panic bubbled up in me. I didn't try to fight the tears that stung in my eyes. My arms were numb, dead, and yet I managed to encircle Lily's body and drug her to a closer spot to the adults, who in turn were backing up on the ice as well, carefully. Finally, Harry summoned us, our bodies sliding effortlessly across the ice into our parents' waiting arms.


	20. Christmas the Seven Shattering

**A/N:** And so… we continue…(this one was fairly easy to write because most of this chapter was already pretty much in Scorpius' POV). Most of it was converting it and filling in a few blanks here and there.

**Disc:** All in fun.

* * *

**Christmas the Seven / Shattering**

I had never seen so many people move so quickly. They were shouting commands erratically to each other, sense having long since left the words as they spilled from the mouths of my friends and family. The only thing I could think of was that Lily was not breathing. I wasn't a genius, but I knew damn well that not breathing was never a good sign. I didn't hear the words of anyone, my ears flooded with the thudding of my heart, as if it had decided to go into overdrive to make up for the fact that Lily's heart wasn't beating.

I barely registered my father's hands on me as he shoved me into the front seat of the Potter's van, the heat blasting like fire from the vents. I couldn't feel anything, I was detached, maybe in shock. My father didn't hesitate with propriety, just dove in, yanking my clothes from my body. I didn't see where he tossed them and I shivered involuntarily even with the way the heat baked at my skin. Dad whipped off his coat and covered me, tucking the edges in around me to warm me up.

"Lily?" I asked fearfully. I couldn't bring myself to look for her, her blue, frozen face the image burned on my mind. I could hear the sound of fabric being torn nearby me, close enough I could have turned and looked, but I was a coward. I couldn't make myself look. Commonsense told me that they'd have to remove her clothes, more so than they did mine, and while I was curious what she looked like I couldn't bring myself to look.

"Harry's trying his best," Dad whispered to me, keeping his body close to mine to help me warm up. I saw his eyes glance to the back of the van and I knew she was there, naked and frozen and dead. I shivered.

"Dad, I tried to tell her but I didn't get to," I confessed like a little boy. Even my voice echoed the child of my youth, so small and timid. "I tried to tell her."

"Right now, don't worry about it," Dad murmured as he wrapped his arms around me. The wailing sound of the ambulance pulled my focus for a moment before it returned to Lily.

"Dad," I said nearly hysterically. "Dad, I can't lose her. I can't do it."

"Shh, Score," Dad said as he held me closer. I could smell his cologne and the warmth and loved radiating off of him. My father was hugging me though he'd not hugged anyone since my mother died. I knew then that it was bad.

"Dad," I whimpered. "I'm scared I'll never get to tell her that I love her."

A medic came to me and started checking me out, wrapping me in what seemed like very unusual aluminum foil. I was still in the front seat of the Potter's van when the other medics wheeled a gurney behind me. I watched, wrapped up, as they took off running, pushing an aluminum foil wrapped Lily to the ambulance. Dread washed over me, I had waited too long. One of the medics was up on top of her, breathing for her and pressing on her chest, getting her blood flowing.

"Dad?" I asked him as I turned to look at my father. I had no idea what look was on my face, but I bet that it was tons worse that the horror struck one on my dad's.

"They're doing everything they can," Dad assured me as the doors slammed on the back of the first ambulance and sped away with Lily and Harry inside.

"I don't want her to die," I gasped, my breathing coming quicker as I began a full on panic attack of sorts.

"Of course not," Dad said as he held my face in his hands.

I could see her, naked, and yet it held nothing for me like I had thought it would. Granted, had the circumstances been different, perhaps, but then they weren't different. Lily was ice cold and blue and I felt a shudder shake me through my very core. My medic forced me on my own stretcher and my father followed me into the back of the ambulance. I looked at him from under the oxygen mask they forced on my face. He looked guarded.

It what seemed like an insanely short time, I was being unloaded into the emergency department of St. Mungo's. My father followed, his face etched with worry. I felt my heart rate kick it up a notch, fear stabbing at my insides. I ignored the questions asked of me, and the needle of the warm saline IV that was to help warm me up. I held on, trying to fight the sudden sleepiness that seemed hell bent on consuming. As the adrenaline faded, so did I.

I don't remember falling asleep, or the oxygen mask being taken off me. I didn't know how much time had passed from the accident and my awaking. It was all really disorientating. Like walking into a movie half way through without any clue what had happened up to that point. I looked around my room silently, and at first I was certain that I was alone. I looked at my hand, a nasty bruise spreading where the IV entered my body. A quiet snore interrupted my scattered thoughts and I looked over to the slouching figure in the chair.

"Hello?" I tried out my voice, it coming out huskier than I was typically used to. The figure stirred slightly and Harry leaned forward, looking like he'd been to hell and back a few times tonight. My stomach clenched in fear.

I wasn't really with it, the conversation, and when the nurse came in to check me, I nearly fell back to sleep from the exhaustion. She was cheerful, bubbly and it bothered me. I struggled to remember why I was here in the first place, the words forming on my tongue but failing to escape. After my first pathetic attempt, I shook my head hard, clearing the sleepy cobwebs from my mind and gathered all of my strength.

"What about Lily?" I asked a little more forcibly. The nurse looked to Harry, who looked exhausted.

"I'll talk to him," Harry promised her. She nodded and glanced at the wheelchair in the room, a look that didn't go unnoticed by me. Harry watched her leave before reluctantly looking at me. Fear boiled up in me, threatening to consume me. It had all came crashing back. I had meant to tell Lily and she had slipped under the ice. The last I had seen her, she was blue and cold, not breathing.

"What's going on?" I demanded uncertainly. Harry took a deep, trembling breath. Her father was with me, I couldn't remember why, and no one seemed eager to tell me what the hell was going on. It was worse than not knowing.

"I wanted to wait until your dad returned," Harry said quietly. He took another deep breath.

"Is she… dead?" I asked, barely able to form the word, as dread and fear swept over me. Harry looked up at me, pain in his eyes as he looked at me.

"The thing you have to remember, Scorpius," Harry said in a shaky voice. "There is the rule of three. You can only be without oxygen for three minutes, in freezing water for three minutes. Lily was under that water for almost ten."

"Lily?" I breathed in a quivering voice. I didn't try to hide the tears as they spilled unashamed down my face. I hadn't been quick enough, had I? I failed Lily. I ignored the warmth that seemed to squeeze my shoulder. I didn't care if it was Darla's damn spirit. I had failed Lily and how pointless was it?

"Scorpius?" Dad questioned as he re-entered the small room. I looked at my dad and to my horror, he had tears in his eyes, too.

"Dad?" I cried and he wrapped his arms around me tightly, holding me. "Can I see her? Please?"

"Harry?" Dad asked looking over at the other man.

"Sure, of course," Harry said with his own throat thick.

Though my legs worked fine, I was placed in a wheelchair and wheeled to Lily's room. I didn't know what to expect. After all the last time I had seen Lily, she looked dead. We entered her room, the lights dull and coming from behind her. My eyes fell on her and I felt a sense of relief wash over me warmly. Her lips looked pink, kissable. I knew her mouth intimately, though I'd never admit that to our fathers. I knew that the coloring was good, it meant things were good or at least better than they had been when she was all ice blue and pale.

"They don't know if there will be any effects to her being under water for so long until she wakes up," Dad whispered in my ear as if we were in threat of waking her up. "The healers are being cautious." She looked as if she were just sleeping.

"Can I touch her?" I asked, not looking at them. I had to feel her warm and soft under my hands, to know that she was ok. My dad pushed me closer to Lily's bedside, minding her IVs, and I reached out, my fingers hesitating over her skin. I was afraid of touching her. She looked so fragile, so breakable. It tore at me. I studied her face, unable to touch her yet. She looked like my Lily, sleeping, aside from the tube in her mouth, delivering oxygen into her lungs, the tape marring her otherwise perfect mouth. She, too, had a bruise where her IV went in, though hers was much bigger than mine.

"The IV is a little hard on you guys because the temperature of the saline is higher than normal body temperature, and it is pushed quickly to ensure that it warms quickly," Dad explained. I nodded, reaching out, uncertain what to expect when my fingers brushed hers lightly. She felt warm, almost hot to the touch, soft.

"She's warm," I said in surprise. I looked at my dad and Harry.

"Her temperature is actually higher than normal," Harry said as he brushed some of Lily's hair from her face. He was standing on her other side, protective of his youngest child. You could tell that Harry loved his daughter.

"She has a fever?" I asked as I looked back at her again.

"No," Harry assured me as he stepped away from Lily, towards the door. "They just want to keep her a little warmer than normal to see if that will help reverse some of the effects of her long submerge in the water. They are cautiously optimistic."

"We're going to run down to get some coffee," Dad said to me, touching my shoulder. I didn't even look up, no response, just stared at Lily sleeping. I was alone with her, hesitant as I reached to touch her face. I traced every inch of it, the warmth tingling against my finger. She was ok, she was alive. I could feel my heart release some of the cold fear that had squeezed it. I closed my eyes, memorizing everything about Lily while ignoring the machines that beeped and grinded around us.

Before I knew what I was doing, I pushed up out of my chair, my legs a little wobbly as I stood there by her bedside. I cradled her face, caressed the length of her neck. My fingers rested at her collar bone, her pulse thudding steadily on my finger tips. I leaned forward, wetting my suddenly dry lips before I pressed my mouth against the corner of hers.

Suddenly, unexpectedly she was choking and gagging. The sound was horrid, skin crawling, and her monitors went wild as she fought against her breathing tube. Her eyes looked wild, terrified, disoriented. A hand crashed down on my shoulder, forcing me back into my wheelchair and I was sent quite unceremoniously from Lily's room just as my dad and Harry turned the corner. Harry rushed in, my heart thudding too loudly in my ears to hear what was said, and my father wheeled me back to my own room.

I was released later that same day, but Lily was kept. I paced around the house for three days before my Grandmother agreed to take me up to see her. I had failed, someone else having told her what was up with Darla and everything. I had to know if she hated me. I carried a bouquet of flowers, standing for a moment outside of her room. I took a deep breath, knocking once before I entered. I stopped, uncertain if I should leave or stay.

Lily was sitting up, her head resting against the shoulder of her doctor while he listened to her lungs, the stethoscope pressed again her back. My dad had mentioned that Lily had been trembling sometimes, a lingering side effect of the ice water. I ignored her glares and placed the flowers on the counter. The doctor glanced at me, a smile tugging on the corner of his mouth for some reason. I pretended that I didn't see.

"You're doing fabulously, Lily, and it looks like you'll be back home in time to catch the train back to school," he said to Lily. I busied myself examining a string on my sleeve.

"And the coordination problems?" Lily asked quietly. I froze, this being the first time I had heard her speak since she got mad at me and stomped through the ice. It sounded incredibly wonderful, squeezing my insides.

"I have faith that it will return in time," the doctor said knowledgably. He wrote down something on a piece of paper, something I couldn't see, and showed it to Lily. Lily's eyes flickered to me for a second, confirming it was about me, before returning to the doctor's face. Her face flushed slightly and a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. She was beautiful, so beautiful, it hurt.

"No, he's not my boyfriend," Lily replied to the doctor in French. I pretended to be busy with the string on my sleeve. These were words I was not meant to understand, though why she assumed I didn't speak French I don't know. A lot of the pure blood families taught more than one or two languages, all to give us a leg up on the competition when we were older. I almost missed the doctor looking at me and grinning.

"Are you sure, because I think he's in love with you," the doctor said, again in French. I wanted to smack him. What I felt for Lily, it was much more than love. Love was a pale word for what I felt towards Lily. I continued to look disinterestedly at the string on my cuff. I caught Lily blushing and I turned my head towards her, wondering if I should let her know, them know, that I understood everything they said in French. Something told me that it wouldn't go over well.

"We go to school together, that's all. He's a friend," Lily confessed. Her words, French or not, wavered on the lie. She knew we were more than friends. The doctor laughed and patted Lily's hand.

"Ok, ok," he said in English. "I'll be back in later to check on you. Son, make sure she eats her breakfast, will you?" I nodded at the doctor, promising.

"Not the eggs," Lily groaned as she glared at the covered dish on the bedside table.

"Will do," I said nodding again, watching as the doctor headed out of the room before I moved towards Lily's tray. "Ok, let see what they try to pass off as food now a days." My heart pounded as I stepped closer to her, as if I could feel her warmth just by standing there.

"Why are you here?" Lily asked me crossly. I looked up at her, confused.

"I'm visiting you," I said simply. I lifted her dish's cover and smiled. "Oh, look. They gave you eggs after all. And bacon. How about a bite of bacon?"

"I don't want any stupid bacon," Lily said tersely as she crossed her arms for a moment, looking to me as if she was trying to hug her insides in. She uncrossed her arms, smoothing the blanket down. "I want to get the heck out of here. I'm fine."

"Your hands are shaking," I told her as I took her hands in mine.

"They say it'll pass," Lily said frowning.

"And my dad said that your dad told him that you're not regulating your temperature properly," I shared with her the knowledge that my dad had passed along to me. Lily pulled her hands away from mine, the pair suddenly feeling rather empty without her hands. She crossed her arms and pressed her hands hard against her body again.

"You know, they said I can't play Quidditch for the rest of the years?" Lily growled at me angrily. I sighed and nodded.

"Yeah, I had heard," I told her quietly. She was irritated, agitated.

"Well, it's crap, you know?" Lily snapped. "I can still knock a bludger like nobody's business."

"I don't doubt that," I said laughing lightly. Silence stretched between us and I wondered if I should bring up Darla or if I should wait on Lily to broach the subject.

"Why didn't you tell me about Darla?" Lily demanded suddenly. I looked up at her, surprised that the silence was shattered and she had blurted out the demand quite like that. She was glaring at me, holding me in contempt, her arms still crossed. I knew no matter what I said, she'd be right. I wasn't going to win this one with her, and frankly I wasn't sure that I deserved to.

"I wanted you to have a nice holiday," I confessed weakly. "I didn't want to put a dark cloud over it by telling you that Darla died."

"Oh, so it's better to have let me erroneously believe that I was making you CHEAT on her?" Lily snapped at me. Anger and detest dripped from every word as if they were molten lava. "Everyone knew about her in my family but me. How could you do that to me? That whole time, everyone knew and I didn't. And what's worse was that I was there, kissing you and being with you, feeling guilty about the fact that your fiancé was at her home without you, and in reality you should have been grieving her death."

"Lily, I didn't want to bring that kind of sadness in your life," I said.

"It isn't your place to decide what sadness should or shouldn't be in my life, Scorpius," Lily told me angrily.

"I wanted to protect you," I practically pleaded.

"No, you wanted to be selfish," Lily accused as she glared at me. I had never known coldness in her eyes until right then. "You knew I felt guilty about Taryn and Darla, and you let it continue when you could have ended my guilty feelings."

"Lily, I didn't think…"

"Exactly, you didn't think. So I suffer because of it," Lily snapped. Her words caught me like she had physically slapped me, the words biting and harsh. She glared at me, her breathing raged filled, coming in shallow little gasps. A healer came in before I could say anything else to Lily, to plead my case.

"Is everything ok in here?" she asked as she checked Lily's monitors.

"Fine," Lily snapped. The healer made a sound of disapproval and shook her head.

"Honey, you're O2 SATS are not very good right now," she said. "I know you hate it, but you're going to have to put the mask back on for a bit. Son, maybe you should come back some other time until she can calm down."

"Ok," I said as the healer turned on the oxygen and started to fit the mask over Lily's face. Lily jerked it off.

"Don't bother coming back some other time," Lily told me angrily as she and the healer began to wrestle with whether or not Lily would allow the mask be on her face. I hesitated at the door, looking back as the healer forced the mask on Lily finally.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," I promised her. Lily threw a fork at me; I ducked out of the room just in time to miss being impaled by the prongs. She was angry, angrier that I have ever seen her.

I wanted to return to see her, but my dad suggested that maybe I should give her time and space. I needed her to forgive me, to at least try and understand why I did what I did. I wrote her half a dozen letters, sent them to her just to have them all be returned to me, unopened. They added to the dozens of letters I had started and balled up in frustration. The things I wanted to tell her, needed to tell her, couldn't be said on a piece of paper.

My grandfather's funeral was a solemn even. Not many people attended, most of the ones that would have attended were ill and old, two things that don't mix well with the frozen earth. I didn't cry, just stood there strong, between my grandmother and father. I was surprised to see Harry there but by then my father had already forbid me to bother the Potters anymore. Lily needed time and whether I wanted to give it or not, she needed it.

On the last day of holiday, as I loaded my trunk into the train, I could feel a wave of sadness flow over me. I went from having two girls who were crazy about me, to one of them dead and the other hating me. I was taking the early train, ready to get back to school. I knew Elena was using the floo-network, and I believed that Damon was apparating into Hogsmead. I wondered about Lily, how she was getting back to school but I didn't need to. I saw James hauling their stuff onto the train and I was tempted to go and help him before I remembered. Things were different now that we were back to school.

By the time I settled into my favorite chair of the common room, it was rather full, but no one seemed to be talking or making a noise. Everyone had heard about Darla's passing and at least in the Slytherin common room we were subdued. I watched as Damon came in, snow clinging mercilessly to his hair. He began to rake his hands through it, knocking the melting snow free.

"Scorpius," he said quickly, tossing his bag down on the chair. I stood and we quickly hugged, a short, manly hug. "How are you?"

"I'm hanging in there," I said as I returned to my seat. Damon sat down across from me, his hands grasped in front of him. He looked sad, almost worried.

"My parents told me," Damon said shaking his head. "Did you go to the funeral?"

"I couldn't," I said. Neither of us seemed strong enough to say Darla's name aloud. I wondered how Elena was holding up. She was, after all, the one who had known Darla longest, as her older sister. I stared silently at the fire, only glancing up every once in a while.

"It's going to be weird," Damon murmured as he, too, focused on the fire. "To look to our third years and be one less student."

"Yes," I choked out at the thought. How would it be to look at the third year girls and not see Darla? I felt the heat at the back of my neck, strange sensation, and I hoped that I wasn't going mad. I hoped even harder that Darla wasn't haunting me. I looked up to see Elena heading over to us slowly. "It's definitely going to be weird."

"Scorpius?" Elena said in an almost questioning tone. I stood, embracing her lightly and kissing her cheek.

"Elena, how are you?" I asked her quietly. She tried to smile but it came off as pained.

"As to be expected, I guess," she said. She looked at me almost concerned. "And you? How are you? I wasn't surprised to not see you at the funeral. I knew it would be too hard."

"I wanted to go, but I couldn't," I confessed. It was another thing I had felt weak about. I hand't gone to Darla's funeral. Hell, I barely made it to my grandfather's funeral. Death scares me, and losing a loved one scared me more. She nodded as she sat down next to me. She was crying, tears flowing down her face. She dabbed at them with a handkerchief but the tears were coming too quickly to halt them. I felt worse.

"I know, I understand," Elena said in gasping breaths. The three of us sat silently by the fire as others joined them in silent reflection.

"I can't believe she's gone," Damon said quietly.

"She will be missed," I promised her as I rested my hand on Elena's shoulder. She turned to me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. I didn't know how to console her, so I patted her back awkwardly as she sobbed loudly.

"Where are the third years?" Damon asked quietly.

"Professor McGonagall has them in the Great Hall," I told him. "She figured that they'd need a little time to cry it out alone without the rest of us trying to comfort them. They brought in a few professionals."

"I just can't believe she's gone!" Elena wailed loudly. Without thinking, I pulled her in tighter and squeezed, trying to hold her together as the portrait opened up. "Life will never be the same."

"No, life will never be the same," I admitted as I looked over at the third year Slytherins slinking in. Lily's friend, Kate, came in crying, Shale to her left. I felt my heart slam to a stop for a moment before it took off racing as Lily stepped in behind her. She didn't look up, just allowed Kate to embrace her, tears spilling down her face. Lily's cheeks were flushed, her eyes bright with tears. I wanted to push Elena onto Damon and rush across the room, embracing Lily. I held on to Elena a little tighter.

"I just don't understand," Kate wailed. Lily was talking to her, patting the girl's back. Lily looked at the three boys she was with: Shale, Tavis, and Zane. She shook her head, the words she said barely louder than a whisper, something I hadn't heard though my eyes seemed to strain to hear her voice.

Shale and Lily exchanged looks, Lily sighing and nodded. She released Kate to Shale and walked towards us, stopping a good few feet from Damon, Elena, and myself. Damon and I looked up; Elena had begun to pull away reluctantly, sniffling. Lily cleared her throat, not to get our attention, she already had that, but to clear the threat of tears from her.

"Um," Lily said quietly. "Can I please have a pass to take Kate to the hospital wing? Callie and Nina went there immediately but Kate thought she'd be ok. Um, apparently she's not."

"Yeah, sure," I said quickly as I pulled a pass out of my pocket. I held it out to her, almost hoping our hands would brush against each other and I could tell her everything I wanted to say to her in a single touch. Lily took it from me, not touching me and not saying another word. I watched her as emotion played harshly on Lily's face as she looked at Elena.

"I am so sorry for your loss," Lily offered with her voice barely louder than a whisper. Elena stood, pulling away from me. She threw her arms around Lily, sobbing. Lily bit her lip and patted the older girl's back like she had patted Kate's. Lily pulled away. "Darla will be missed."

Lily returned and guided a sobbing Kate back out the portrait hole, struggling slightly under the awkwardness of Kate's weight. I watched for a minute wondering if I should follow. I didn't know what the right thing to do. I thought a bit more on it, but the house elves began to serve us dinner in the common room. Lily never really left my mind, but Elena seemed to need to me more. Elena was in no mood to do her patrolling, so she went to bed in the fifth year girl's dormitory and I did patrol alone.

The whole castle seemed under a dark cloud. Normal voices seemed entirely too loud and everyone whispered. It seemed like coldness and darkness met me at every turn as I did my patrol. I continued silently down the corridor, my hands shoved deep in my pockets. I wasn't even half-heartedly looking for rule breakers. I just meandered along. I saw James heading towards me, his own stance similar to mine.

"James," I said nodding once as I passed the Gryffindor prefect.

"Hey, Scorpius," James said. He touched my sleeve, in essence stopping me from continuing down the hallway. "I heard about your grandfather. I know things were kind of crazy, but I'm still sorry for your loss."

"Dragon Pox killed a lot of people this holiday," I admitted, though I wasn't nearly as sad about my grandfather dying as I had been about Darla. James nodded.

"Darla," he confirmed. "Is Lily still mad you didn't tell her the minute you found out?"

"She's barely talking to me," I said frowning with a slight shrug. "She's not making it obvious, but she's so different."

"She'll come around," James said hopefully. "She had a rough time there."

"I know," I said as James started walking away, though I didn't really believe it. Lily could hold some serious grudges. I continued, heading towards the kitchen thinking that maybe some hot chocolate or maybe even some cooking sherry would do, since I doubted that I could get my hands on some fire whiskey.

"Scorpius! Seriously man, you are the hardest person to locate," Damon said as he touched my shoulder. "I've been looking all over for you."

"Something wrong?" I asked with a slight panic in my voice. I had been so involved in my own thoughts that I hadn't even heard him calling to me.

"No," Damon said. Realization spread over Damon's face. "Oh, sorry man. I didn't mean to worry or panic you. No, I just wanted to let you know Elena decided to go to bed finally. She's not doing well."

"I imagine not," I mumbled as he continued to walk. Damon fell into step next to me, matching his pace with mine for a moment in silence.

"I don't know how I'd react if my kid sister died of Dragon Pox," Damon said shaking his head. "What a freak thing. I mean, I know like older people and really young people die all the time of it, but Darla was thirteen."

"They say she had an underlying medical problem," I said quietly, not wanting to share that I knew. I didn't want anyone to know that we were going to break up. I didn't know why, but I figured that it wouldn't be anything anyone knew. Darla and my last secret, just like I didn't want to let on that Darla had promised to help me get Lily. Stuff people just didn't need to know. Damon nodded, walking silently.

"What are you going to do?" Damon said.

"Well, by proxy Elena should slip into Darla's roll," I said quietly. "However, she and I both talked and neither wants a union. With my grandfather passing, he can't enforce the rules."

"That's great," Damon said. I scowled at him. I knew he didn't mean it like it came out, but still there was so little good coming out of this. Maybe if Lily was mine, maybe, but then she wasn't so maybe not. Damon quickly back peddled. "I mean, it sucks about Darla and your grandfather, of course, but you know, there's a silver lining to this all. You and Lily."

"Yeah, except that she hates me," I said crossing my arms. I know I sounded like a little child, but I couldn't help it.

"She doesn't hate you," Damon assured me. I wanted to demand how he could possibly know, but Damon was my friend and I couldn't.

"You didn't see the way she looked at me when I told her about Darla," I explained as I shook my head. "You would have thought I killed Darla and confessed it."

"Surely it wasn't that bad," Damon protested.

"You're right," I said sourly. "It was worse."

"She'll get over it," Damon insisted. I raised an eyebrow at him and shook my head. The two of us walked along the corridor in silence for a bit more. The big clock chimed eleven and Damon yawned.

"Go ahead," I said smirking. "I'll be along in a bit."

"Think you could give me a pass?" Damon asked sheepishly. I laughed and handed him one.

"I doubt anyone's really whole heartedly upholding curfew," I confessed to him. Still, Damon took the pass and jogged back the way they had come. I looked up, surprised that I had found myself at the hospital wing. I hesitated as the door swung open, pulling back into the shadows for as Lily walked out the door. I watched her as she headed towards me, worried that she might find me lurking in the shadows. How would I explain this to her? She didn't notice me, her face dejected, tears threatening to spill. I admired her ability to hold herself together when she was alone and could afford to cry. She looked like she was struggling to keep her emotions in check.

I slipped out from behind her in the shadow and silently followed her. Lily stopped, searching her pockets for something. I thought I heard whispered swear, though I couldn't be certain, and Lily continued down the corridor. She passed the hall way that would lead to the dungeons and instead headed towards the astronomy tower.

I followed her carefully, not wanting her to find me following her. She broke into a run at the base of the tower, running up the spiral stairs until I heard the door open to the classroom up above. I followed her, hesitating on the outside of the classroom, not sure if I wanted to follow her. If she was meeting someone, I was certain I didn't want to come face to face with that. I knew if she was meeting some other boy, it'd break me into a million pieces.

Curiosity had me following her up the stairs regardless, two at a time until I came to the door. I remained silent as I slipped into the classroom. I could see her in the exterior part of the room, where the balcony over looked the school grounds. I remembered the last time I was there, with her, as if it was yesterday, the muscles of my stomach began to clench and twist in anticipation. It nearly caught me off guard, how much I wanted her. I stealthily slipped onto the balcony. She had her back to me, her hair loose and the snowy breeze catching odd strands of it, elbows resting on the railing. Her hands covered her face.

"Please, just leave me alone," she whispered the words fainter than the wind. It was snowing, the snow trapping in her hair. I looked to the sky, wondering when the light snow had become more blizzard-like. It hadn't been long since I last looked outside at it.

"Why are you out here without a coat?" I asked with genuine concern as I stepped toward her. She didn't need to be out in this weather unprotected, not after already nearly drowning and freezing to death simuatenously. She put her hand up as I came closer; I slid to a stop, nearly losing my footing on the slick, snow covered stone floor.

"I need to be alone," she whispered. Her whispered carried back and I wondered why she wasn't using her full voice, why she was whispering. Out here, we couldn't get caught for being out of bed after hours, especially with me being a prefect. I watched her a moment, her shoulders shaking slightly with silent sobs. She was crying, I realized, and was trying to keep it from me. Guilt washed over me and I moved forward, pulling her firmly into my arms. She struggled, trying to push me away from her, but I held on tighter. I had to show her that I loved her and that I cared. I would always be there for her.

"No, Lily, listen," I breathed softly into her ear, keeping my voice louder than a whisper, but only just so. "It's ok if you want to hate me or be angry at me. I was wrong to keep it from you, and selfish. I didn't want to you to be sad while I was with you because I loved every moment we shared. But you can't be out here with a coat. You can't get careless or sick or hurt just to spite me."

"I…" Lily breathed with her hands on her face. I kept her tight against me, her arms between her chest and mine. I buried my face in her hair, breathing.

"It's ok to cry, Lily. You don't have to be strong," I promised her as I held her tight, ignoring her attempts to push me away. "Shh, it's ok to be sad. I'll hold you together so you don't have to hold yourself together anymore."

"It's not that," Lily wailed loudly as she pushed against me harder. She was strong and she nearly broke my grasp on her. I wouldn't give up that easily, holding her without hurting her.

"Then what is it, Lils," I practically begged as I pressed my cheek against hers, ignoring her nearly frozen tears.

"I'm a horrible person!" Lily cried as she tried to turn away from me, jerking in my arms. I still barely maintained my hold on her. She growled, "I was _glad_."

"G-glad?" I stuttered in shock. My arms loosened and Lily broke free.

"Yes," Lily hissed at me as she crossed back to the railing. She kept her back to me, unable to meet my confused eyes. She seemed to struggled to form the words. She gripped the railing with her bare fingers, ignoring the layers of ice that had built up on it.

"Why were you glad? About what?" I asked her uncertainly as I took a step forward, a step closer to closing the distance between us. She moved away from me if she had anticipated me moving closer.

"She was such a nasty, mean spirited girl," Lily said distastefully. "When my dad told me she was dead, I was glad because she was the one thing I hated the most about being a Slytherin. I am not a nasty, mean spirited person and she was the embodiment of it. I felt she got what she deserved."

I stood there, mouth hanging open. My heart stopped beating and I stood there for a good few minutes, unable to speak. I had never, ever heard a mean word, a nasty word, ever slip from between Lily's lips and yet she had managed to spill out her whole heart to me on exactly how she felt about my dead fiancé, Darla. I knew that they hadn't been friends, but still. To talk so cruelly, to say that you felt that someone deserved to die, I just didn't know how to react to that.

"Lily…"I said finally, in shock.

"I immediately felt bad about it. No one deserves to die," Lily immediately countered. She looked at me, her face damp from the tears that seemed to torrent down her face. She brushed them away with her bare hands. "What _kind_ of person does that make _me_, to be _glad_ my dorm mate died?"

"Lily," I said as I stepped forward hesitantly, holding out the handkerchief I had pulled from my pocket.

"Oh, I'm not _done_," Lily moaned quietly as she took it and began mopping up her face. "When I overheard your dad tell mine that your grandfather died and that your union was unenforceable, I was even _happier_. I was _done_ of the snotty bitch and didn't have to worry about your evil, loathsome grandfather."

"Lily!" I exclaimed. Now Darla may not have been her best mate, she hadn't really known my grandfather well enough to hate him as much as she seemed to. She looked at me, sad and defiant. I didn't know if I should try to hold her or smack her. Both suddenly seemed too tempting.

"_I told you!_ I told you I needed to be alone!" Lily accused me as I continued to look at her in shock and bewilderment. She bit her bottom lip, hard, as if she was trying to draw blood. "I _told _you I am a horrible person!"

"Wait, Lily," I tried to stop her but she pushed past me and headed back inside, disappearing from sight. I thought about chasing her but my shock held me firmly planted where I stood. It was a first for me in many ways. I had never experienced someone hating another person to the point that she wished the other person was dead. I never expected to ever hear such from Lily, especially when Darla had never really done anything to Lily. Sighing, I left the tower, taking the stairs two at a time so I could catch up with her. I caught her in the common room, her face tear stained and blotchy. She looked horrible, destroyed. It hurt. I caught her wrist in my hand loosely.

"Let go of my wrist, Scorpius," Lily told me as she tried to twist away.

"I'm not done talking," I growled. The sound shocked me, the deep, ethereal sound that crawled up from inside of me.

"I tried to tell you that I needed to be by myself," Lily said through gritted teeth. "Why can't you listen to me?"

"You made me feel bad about not telling you about Darla, and all that time," I said harshly, the growl still evident, my own anger a manifestation of this raw emotion that burned at my insides. "All that time I was feeling bad about not telling you, you were secretly happy she was gone. Do you know how bad _I_ felt that I had kept it from you?"

"I feel bad enough about it, you needn't remind me," Lily moaned softly as she tried to twist away from me. I tightened my grip on her wrist, her skin clamped under my hand.

"I can't believe you'd keep that from me," I said as I looked at her. I felt hurt, betrayed, though I wasn't entirely sure why.

"Well," Lily said finally pulling free, her hand sliding out from lax grasp. She reached up to her the back of neck and released the clasp of her necklace. I looked at her, uncertain. My mind seemed not to be able to understand what she was doing, though it looked like simple enough actions.

"W-what are you doing?" I asked. I couldn't say it, put the actions into words.

"What I should have done ages ago," Lily said with her jaw still clenched. "I'm finished with you, Scorpius. You were _never_ meant to be with me. Malfoys and Potters just don't mix."

"Wait, Lily," I said quickly, as my eyes and brain caught up with each other. This was not what I wanted. I was angry, yes, but I didn't want THIS to happen. "Please, wait a second. Let's talk about this."

"No," Lily said shaking her head. I refused to take it from her, my hands out of sight. I wouldn't take it and she'd have to keep it. She threw the locket at my feet when she realized that I had no intention of making this easy on her, it bouncing against the floor and landing at the tip of my shoe, the chain falling over the top of it. I watched in horror and anger as she turned her back on me and stormed out of sight, slamming her dormitory door so loud that a few people looked out of their rooms, curious and sleepy.

"Go back to bed," I yelled angrily at them, my voice loud and full of hatred. I didn't want anyone to stand witness to this, the anger that threatened to flood over me and consume me. I didn't even watch as the others jerked back, hiding in safety behind their wooden doors. I glared at the locket at my foot, full of rage and confusion. I drew my foot without thinking about it and I brought it down hard on the locket, it trapped between my foot and the stone floor. The sound of shattering metal and glass echoed in the silence of the night.


	21. Spring Begins

**A/N:** For those following along at home, we just left behind chapter 14… Thank you to those of you who are reading and reviewing, I do appreciate it. :) I love the PMs from folks, too, and I'm glad I have been able to turn you guys on to not only my other stories here and in fictionpress, but my other writing outlets. Enjoy.

**Disc:** All in fun, fun in all.

* * *

**Spring Begins**

I was trying to do my best to avoid Lily though it seemed like every time I closed my eyes, her face was right there, waiting to torment me, be it in my own head or with her physically near. Everything had spiraled out of control and I hated how things ended before they even started between us. I retrieved the locket that next day, it was exactly where I left it, and I threw it in the waste paper basket. I didn't care about the loss of money. Money was nothing to me, nothing at all. I was still mad, upset, angry at her for all she had admitted, and a little upset at myself for my reaction. I take that back, I was just as much if not more upset at myself for my reaction. I dug the pieces out of the trash, tossing it in a little hand carved ivory box that had belonged to my mother. The pieces rattled around with the heart-shaped stone on the inside, reminding me every time that I looked at it of Lily.

I was still really angry most of January with her, avoiding her, and as February came, my anger faded and my longing replaced it. I went to Quidditch practice, knowing that it was hit or miss if she was even going to be there, and even if she was, she wasn't playing. We had a new kid, some guy named Griffon whom I didn't really like. I just didn't think he had the skill we needed him to have. We played and lost against Hufflepuff, which should have been an easy win. Still, I remained distant from her. She wanted to be free of me, and while I didn't share the same sentiment, I wasn't ready to break the silence between us.

"Hey," Damon grunted in my direction.

"Hey," I grunted back. He smiled and lowered his voice.

"I'm going to invite Lily to Hogsmead," he said. I looked at him, a little like he was crazy and a little smug that she'd say 'no' to him. He didn't ask, probably because he knew that if he asked me if it was ok, I'd say 'no'. Damon just told me, confidently, and I let it go. She wasn't mine to claim, even though jealousy edged its way up my chest and took its place in the base of my heart.

I wasn't really worried about Lily, though. A new foe lay unspoken, the rumor mills wheeling the stories out: Lily had a beau, and a secret one at that. That bothered me more than it probably should have. After all, Lily was free to date whomever she wanted. Plus, rumors were just rumors and I couldn't see how she could possibly have time to date anyone. She had school, homework, Quidditch practice with Flint, and she hung around her friends. I tried to catch her sneaking out, to see whom she was sneaking around with, but she never snuck out anywhere. They had to be just rumors.

So, Damon telling me that he was going to invite Lily to Hogsmead didn't faze me in the slightest. These rumors about her dating, though, bothered me, festering in my head like an unhealed sore. I missed her, desperately. I didn't realize how much she really, truly meant to me until I wasn't near her or around her anymore. I didn't have any excuses to be, and she sure as hell didn't seem like she wanted to come near me on her own accord.

I sat in the locker room, half dressed while Damon scoured the area for Lily. She was practicing more with us, just flying mostly, a little evasive maneuvering. She walked in and it really felt as if the world stopped for a moment. She wasn't paying attention to any of us, just fiddling with the strap on her bag, a slight smile playing on her lips.

"Hey, Lily," Damon said as she walked in the locker room. She grinned at him and my stomach clenched. She never grinned freely at me anymore, but I knew that smile. I wanted that smile to glow at me with the overwhelming friendliness that Lily emitted.

"Hey, Damon," she said as she passed him. She wasn't very far from me, but she hadn't noticed me or chose to ignore me. I watched as she opened her locker, the thing insanely neat and tidy compared to my locker. She hung up her back pack, and I saw her hand tremble ever so slightly while she took off her jacket and loosened her tie.

"So, the weather's pretty terrific today," Damon said as he leaned against the locker next to her. I watched almost eagerly as she her fingers went to her buttons, undoing each one slowly, as if it was either very challenging to do so or she was trying to taunt every male in the room. She glanced at me for a fraction of a second, almost involuntarily. Her expression remained the same as she removed her shirt, her under Quidditch wear covering her perfectly. She looked thinner, and I wondered if she was eating well.

"Yeah, it really is," I heard Lily agree. I looked away, not watching anymore. "What?"

"Nothing," Damon replied.

"There's a variable wind south, south west," Lily continued on knowledgeable about the weather. "Sun's not too bright, which is good."

"Yeah," he said. I glanced over to see Lily take off her skirt and pulled on her Quidditch pants before sitting down and fastening her protective gear. She held out her wrists to Damon, wordless, and Damon began to fasten the Velcro. His fingers brushed her skin more than needed and the jealousy inched up a bit in my chest.

"Thanks," Lily said. "I never can manage to get them tight enough for comfort."

"So, are you going to Hogsmead after practice?" Damon asked. He seemed to hesitate a bit and I wondered if he was nervous or if he was playing up the sensitive role for Lily's benefit. Lily pursed her lips together for a second, her tempting and so familiarly kissable lips.

"If you're asking if I'll meet up with Scorpius, then the answer is no, sorry," Lily said. She was either pretending I wasn't there or she really hadn't taken notice of me. My ego deflated a bit. I wasn't even noticeable to her anymore. I turned my back on them, glaring at the inside of my messy locker. I didn't want to watch anymore.

"No, actually, and please don't laugh, I was wondering if you would like to hang out," Damon said and his discomfort sounded genuine. I caught Lily's movement out of the corner of my eye when I turned my head.

"Hang out?" Lily asked as she pulled her shoes on.

"Yeah," Damon said scratching the back of his head and looking away nervously.

"You mean with you?" Lily asked skeptically.

"Well, yeah," he said as he smiled slightly.

"Like a date?" Lily asked as she stood and pulled her hair up in a rubber band, it had finally grown to shoulder length and she was able to tie it back. That movement, I couldn't help but watch though I pretended not to.

"Well," Damon said as he flushed a little redder. Silently I cheered. Lily's tone had pretty much set the stage for the conversation to end horribly. She didn't want to go on a date with him. "I mean, we could if you wanted to, be just as friends."

"No, um," Lily said grinning at his sudden shyness. "Yeah."

"Yeah?" Damon asked confused. Inside the jealously took over. She was going to go with him, I had lost.

"I'd love to hang out with you," Lily said grinning. She leaned forward slightly. My breath caught in my chest. If she was going to kiss him right there in then, I didn't know if I could stop myself from taking out my best friend. It was all terribly confusing. My stomach lurched slightly, anger and sickness battling for control. "If I manage to survive Quidditch practice."

"You're doing fine," Damon said quickly, reassuring her. "Your aim's been a bit off but you're doing fine."

"You're too kind," Lily groaned as she slammed her locker. I didn't watch her leave. I closed my eyes for a second, my fists clenched. When I agreed to Damon asking Lily out, I never in a million years assumed she'd agree.

"_Stupid_," I breathed through clenched teeth as I stood, slamming my own locker and storming out the door towards the pitch. I heard it before I saw it, Lily's laughter, and it felt like a hot blade had sliced into my chest and carved up my heart. I hadn't seen her smile or laugh, not beyond the forced smiles and awkward laughter, since before her accident. I miss it, terribly, and I missed her more. If Damon was going to make her happy, who was I to complain? All I ever wanted was Lily happy.

I ignored Flint during his speech of sorts, instead I watched the way that Lily smiled, the way the spring sun caught in her hair. She tucked a rebellious section of hair behind her ear, ignoring the way that the cool, damp breeze seemed destined to free it over and over. Flint blew his whistle, which sent the other players in the air. I took off, ready to start.

"Potter, Malfoy," Flint called. I couldn't help but frown when Flint said their names so closely together. Lily was very graceful at the way she pulled to a stop in front of Flint, I looked at her as I pulled to a stop myself.

"Yeah?" I asked with all the luster of a muddy pool. Lily and Flint both shot me a look.

"I want you two to work together today," Flint said. "I want Lily to get a bit more work out in the defense of an actually chaser, to make her ready for Tuesday's game."

"Wait, what?" I asked with a frown. I looked at Flint almost incredulous that he'd let her do this when it was his job to make sure that we were doing the best to take care of our players. "She's not supposed to play for the rest of the season. Doctor's orders."

"Let me worry about that," Flint said as he flew off. I lightly grabbed Lily's arm in my hand, my eyes on her. She looked at me in shock and something else, maybe a bit of coldness in her face. I ignored the cool look on her face.

"Lily, what are you doing? Did you agree to this?" I asked quickly. Lily glared at me, her eyes falling on her arm that was still in my hand, and she jerked away roughly as if I was holding her hard against her will.

"Look, I've seen a specialist who thinks I'm ready," Lily said. Her voice was cool, but there was an undercurrent, a pleading that I would understand. "I've already sat out the Hufflepuff game, which we lost. Griffon is a joke. He's terrible. I have to play otherwise Ravenclaw or Gryffindor could end up ruining our lead."

"But Lily," I said, my voice inching up an octave rather embarrassingly. Lily shook her head.

"FLINT!" Lily yelled shrilly over the pitch. Flint headed back over to us, his eyes on the two of us, guarded and wary.

"Yes, Potter?" he said with an almost exasperated tone to his voice. I wondered if she had wore on him until he broke and agreed to let her train with everyone else more aggressively.

"Pair me up with someone else," Lily told him. She wasn't asking. He raised an eyebrow at her, which was exactly what I was doing. She had never been one to challenge authority so face-forward. I almost expected Flint to scream at her, to rage, but he took a deep breath. It sounded almost like an exasperated sigh.

"I think you'd be best to practice covering Scorpius," Flint said in a no-nonsense way. Lily crossed her arms and Flint flew very close to her, blocking her from my view. I strained to hear what he was telling her, never once having ever had our captain try and talk to me so privately before. I couldn't hear a damn thing, and I wondered if Flint was talking at all or if he was just staring her down. I could see the muscles in his neck move slightly, and I knew he must have been talking to her. Curiosity nearly had me inching closer but I didn't.

"FINE!" Lily snapped. She took the bat from her left hand, her normal hand, and moved it to her right hand. She glared at Flint as he flew off laughing, whether it was at her or just laughing, I didn't know.

"You could hurt yourself," I said once more. She shot me a dirty look and I imagine it took all her resolve to not only shoot me the one-fingered salute.

"Go do your job, Malfoy, and let me do mine," she said as she waited, looking at me. I wondered if she hoped I would fight her more on the topic, but she was a big girl and I could see that I wasn't going to win this one. I flew off, joining the others for the practice game and Lily covered me like a glove. If she and I weren't on the odds, I would have loved to have her cover me in so many other ways, too. Hell, despite the fact that we were at odds, I wanted her. It was alarming.

The intensity in which Flint hit bludgers my way was alarming, as well. Flint made a point of hitting the bludgers as hard as he could at me, as if trying to permanently unseat me, assuring that Lily had to not only hit them away, but to aim for other players. They shared a continuous, almost violent exchange of bludgers, the sound of ball and bat cracking over the pitch while the others continued to score. It was hard not to see the heat between the two of them, the pure hatred that seemed to unite ball and bat over and over again, no matter where they were.

It sent shivers down my spine, the passion for Quidditch. I missed the passion that Lily seemed to exuberate. I had to admit, even right handedly, Lily was good. All the practices and one on one that she had been participating in seemed to have done her game wonders, and she was better than she had ever been. Still, I wondered why she was using her right hand instead of her much more dominant left. The game continued until the snitch was captured and they were released. Lily knocked one back at Flint for good measure, though much softer, and the captain caught and crated the ball.

"Lily," Flint called as Lily started to walk towards the locker room with the others, she was nearly even with me on the path we were etching in the grass. She turned back and joined Flint. I hesitated. "She'll be along to talk strategy in a bit, Malfoy."

I headed into the locker room, pulling my gear off and shoving it in my locker rather roughly. I jerked my uniform off, shoving it in the laundry cart adding my pants. I was down to the bare minimum, the under Quidditch gear clinging to my frame. I glanced up, near the door it swung open and Lily plowed right into me. I grabbed her to keep from sending her sprawling to the floor. Her hand landed on my chest, the heat radiating from our bodies in a rather sinful way. She looked at me, her eyes wide with surprise and something else, maybe longing though I wondered if I added that because I desperately wanted it to be true.

I could smell her, everything my love potion had been, and my stomach clenched eagerly and almost painfully. My body wanted her more than my mind seemed to comprehend. She didn't make a move to pull away, and for a brief second my mind played tricks on me and I could have sworn that she leaned into me. I swore quietly and pulled away quickly; my body felt as if it were on fire from how close our bodies were. I turned my back on her quickly, not wanting to see what she had done to me, and how she had so quickly and effectively aroused me. She exhaled in a shaky breath and moved away from me, without even so much as a word of apology.

I sat down quickly, my back to her. I couldn't look at her and get my body under control. I heard Damon approach her but she made a sound and I looked up to see her silencing him with a raised hand, stalking off to the showers. It sounded like a good idea, personally, and I stood careful to not draw attention to anything south of my waist band. Damon looked at me in surprise but I only shrugged as I headed to the showers.

To stand there in the shower and not abuse myself was torture. The thought that not too far away, she was naked as well, lathering and soaping her perfect body did nothing to help my issue. I wasn't really a fan on self help when it came to relieving arousals, but I was tempted just to have release and less tension. I rinsed off and changed into my pants, ignoring the way that things refused to be calm and lay right in my pants.

I stepped out into the main locker room, my hair still wet, to see Lily sitting on the bench in front of her locker half dressed. She was wearing a white tank top, her shoulders slumped forward slightly. She didn't look up as I started messing around in my locker. I frowned and sat down with my back to her, finishing up getting dressed.

"Hey, Lily," Damon said. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah," Lily said though she sounded like she was being dragged off to do something she didn't really want to do. I frowned at the thought and stood, getting ready to close my locker.

"Do you want to come?" Damon asked me. I looked at him like he had lost his mind. Best mates or not, I didn't really want to go along as a third wheel on his date with Lily. From her expression, Lily agreed with me.

"Me?" I asked almost stupidly. We were the only three people in the locker room. Who else could he have been talking about.

"Yeah," Damon said as he slipped his arm around Lily's shoulders to keep her from bolting, which she looked like she was about to do for a second. Damon seemed to be looking at me intently, as if trying to convey something I just couldn't read. Lily laughed lightly, almost playfully, as she pulled away and jerked her tee shirt on over her head.

"How many tee shirts are you going to wear?" I asked her suddenly, wondering how many layers did she really need. It wasn't cold out side. Lily and Damon looked at me as if I was a bit crazy. I hated that they did that.

"I only have the one tee shirt on," Lily said frowning. "The other one is practically underwear. No, actually, it is underwear; it's an undershirt. We don't all fall out of bed fully dressed and ready for the day."

"Yeah, right," Damon snorted as he shook with laughter and walked away. "I'll be outside."

"Be right there," we both said at the same time. We looked at each other, heat rising to Lily's cheeks. She pulled her jacket on, gathering up her uniform. I started to head for the door, confused.

"Scorpius," Lily said quietly. The word cut through me and I stopped, hesitating as my hand rested on the door. I turned slowly and looked at her.

"Yeah?" I said quietly. She took a deep breath and gestured for me to return to her and her locker. Not knowing what she had in mind, I walked cautiously back towards her, standing with the bench between us. I was less than a foot away from her, but I could smell the damn shampoo and the warm, intoxicating scent of her body hovering between us, tempting me. It took all of my will power not to slip my hand in her hair and gather her against my body, all I was to not kiss her.

"I think you should take this back," Lily said as she reached back into her locker and pulled out my scarf. "It's just easier if I don't have any memories of us from that time." I looked at it for a moment, trying to comprehend, trying to think. A coolness slid over me, a cold rejection.

"I don't want it," I said coldly. She held it out to me, a dejected look on her face. I hated that look on her face.

"Well, I want mine back," she said firmly and I wondered how much she really meant that and how much she was trying to make a clean break. I looked at her face, studied it. She had her bottom lip pinned between her teeth, as if holding something back. She was trembling slightly, though I wasn't too sure if it was fear or another emotion, or if she had been fooling Flint all along that she was better when she really wasn't. I hardened my resolve and looked at her sternly.

"Tough," I said coolly. I would not relinquish her scarf back. It was mine.

"Tough?" she said smirking. Her smirk caught me off guard, as did the way she seemed to be fighting the urge to smile. I wanted her to, I missed it more than I could have ever thought. Seeing it there, tempting and promising, it drove me insane. I didn't care about anything else anymore. I just wanted her back, if nothing else, than as my friend.

"Yeah, tough," I said as I moved around the side of the bench to stand next to her. She turned and looked at me, her locker to her side. She tilted her head up so that her eyes could meet mine, and I wanted to crush my mouth down on hers, run my lips down her neck. I swallowed against my train of thought and steeled my face against her for the moment. "Maybe I don't want mine back, and maybe I don't want to give yours back either. I stole it fair and square from you, Lily."

"I knew it!" She said poking me in the chest with her finger. It didn't hurt but I wanted her to do it again, to touch me in any capacity. I wanted it all. "I knew you stole it from me."

"In my defense, you left it on my bed," I said. This was the closest thing to a real conversation that we have had since the night I broke the locket. I cringed internally at that memory, not wanting to think about it.

"You told me Ash took it," Lily said. I couldn't help it, the petulant way her bottom lip poked out at the statement. I smiled big, almost confident.

"Maybe she did, maybe she didn't," I said lightly, dismissively. Lily laughed in spite of herself. I loved the way it sounded, the way it caressed me all over and taunted me, teasing in a playful way. A ghost of a memory from the past, the laughter reminded me of the fun loving Lily I had the joy of falling in love with. It left too quickly.

"I wish you'd take it," Lily said sobering slightly.

"What will you give me if I take it?" I asked quietly, not ready for this to end. This was better than I had ever hoped for, we were talking and getting along. Maybe there was hope for us yet. A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth and she put her hands on her hips.

"So, to get you to _take_ something from me, I have to _give_ you something?" Lily asked shaking her head. I grinned and took the initiative.

"Nothing big, just some time," I breathed almost in her ear, a private secret for just us, even though we were totally alone.

"Time?" Lily asked as confusion entered her eyes and they seemed to search my face for something. There was a glimmer of hope in them, and I nodded once.

"A date, you and me," I said almost obscenely breathy, excited. Lily stepped back, the scarf in her hand.

"You know, I'll pass," she mumbled and shoved the item into her locker. She closed the locker door, not looking at me. I felt my hope shatter, a million slivers of glass and crystal raining down on us.

"Is it really that bad?" I asked with a frown, trying my best to pull together a mask, to hide how I truly felt. She looked at me, almost sad, nearly apologetic.

"To go on a date with you? Yeah, it is," she said simply and she bolted out of the locker room before I could say anything at all. I slowly followed, disappointed. Things had felt like they were going so well there, and then they went up in a cloud of smoke. Damon and Lily were waiting just outside the doors for me, her not looking any different. Damon had launched into a conversation about Quidditch. She seemed to be concentrating pretty hard on that, ignoring me. I wish I could have said that I didn't care.

It would have been a hell of a lot easier if Lily had been easy to get over, but damn it, she was Lily and I couldn't just get over her. It confused me. No girl had ever had the spunk and tenacity that Lily seemed to have. We walked three wide, Damon in the middle, to the Three Broomsticks, taking a booth and a round of butter beer in glasses. I stayed quiet, watching her. She seemed nervous, not sitting as close to Damon as I had expected her to. She seemed fidgety, too, her fingers alternating between touching her collar and various items on the table. She murdered two napkins into minute confetti. I couldn't recall the last time I saw her so nervous. She glanced up as Damon excused himself to the bathroom, and still she continued to fidget. It was unnerving.

"Are you nervous about being with Damon?" I asked her curiously. Lily looked up at me, her eyes wide in surprise, as if I had shouted the question at her.

"Merlin, no. Why?" Lily asked.

"You've torn up those napkins as if they did some sort of great injustice to you," I teased her lightly, aching to get us back to some semblance of what we once were. She glanced down at the napkins and blushed as she swept them into her hand. She emptied them into a new napkin, balling it up to keep them from escaping. The silence was awkward and without thinking about it, I cleared my throat causing her to look at me almost timidly. It was alarming, though I didn't know why. "So, you and Damon are on a date?"

"No," Lily said frowning. "Not that it is any of your business. We're just hanging out."

"Do you want to date him, Lils?" I asked her. I hid it well, but the pain was almost unbearable. How she answered it, I felt that it might kill me just that much more. Lily looked up from her hands, a smirk on her face. I loved that smirk, sometimes. Now, I feared it slightly.

"I'm… sort of already _seeing _someone," Lily said hesitantly. I couldn't my surprise. I had heard whispered rumors, but here she was stabbing me with these words, confirming it. I wanted to die. A lot.

"You are?" I forced out trying to make myself sound normal and not broken. Lily nodded. "Is it someone I know?"

"Yeah, sort of. You know of him," she said quietly. I stood, afraid that my face showed exactly how much her confirmation tore at my heart. I didn't realize that I cared SO much.

"I'm… I think I'm going to go use the bathroom," I mumbled not trusting my voice. She didn't look at me, only nodded as she touched her collar yet again. She didn't watch me practically run to the bathroom, something to be grateful for, I suppose.

I stopped just inside the door, surprised to find Damon reading a magazine, sitting on the counter of the restroom. I wanted to groan. Chalk it up to Damon to try and get us back together. He looked up at me, frowning at the scowl that seemed to be plastered on my face.

"Is it not going well?" Damon asked with almost innocents etching in his frustration. I crossed my arms and gave him my most pissed off look I could must without crying.

"Did you know she was dating someone already?" I demanded. Damon twitched slightly.

"I had heard… _rumors_… but I don't think it's serious," Damon said.

"What makes you think she'd choose me over this other bloke?" I asked with an almost childish whine to my voice, masked only with anger. Damon shrugged.

"You guys are good for each other," Damon said. "I figured you guys needed a fighting chance."

"But she's dating someone," I complained. Damon nodded.

"How great could this guy possibly be if no one knows who it is," Damon challenged. "So far all we have are these rumors whispered that she's seeing someone. No one knows where they started nor have anyone actually ever seen her out with anyone. She doesn't seem to have time to actually date, so I figure it was possible that the rumors are just rumors."

"She doesn't want to date me," I muttered, looking away from him with hot shame flooding my face. "She and I, like she said, don't mix."

"You two are so blind," Damon snorted as he flipped the page. "She's still crazy about you and the number of times she comes up in your speech, either you are crazy about her or you really love talking about flowers."

"I don't talk about her," I protested. Fuck, my face was on fire. I could feel the heat, not to mention the nice red color it seemed to have flushed according to my reflection.

"I didn't want to say anything," Damon said as his cheeks turned a little pink. "However, I think this is one of those times I have to break the code of not speaking about guy issues. You kind of talk in your sleep. Not very loud, usually, but enough that I have heard."

"I don't talk in my sleep," I retorted as my face turned even brighter red. I didn't think it was possible, the color. I looked like I had been doused in red pain, long gone the alabaster hue of my face, all the way into my white-blond hair.

"Um, ok," Damon said. He looked away as embarrassed as I was about this. Damn it, I bet I did talk. I sighed loudly, in defeat.

"What do I talk about?" Scorpius asked almost timidly, afraid of what Damon would say.

"Her," Damon said. He closed his magazine and jumped up off the counter and stood next to me. "Look, you and I are best friends, and you have to know that I would never go against you, but you do talk, and going by what you talk about, you are still crazy in love with Lily Potter. If it wasn't for you, I'd date her myself, so I know you have to be insane to not want to do everything in your power to get her back."

"Well, she doesn't want me back," I reminded him, crossing my arms.

"I doubt that," Damon said shaking his head. "Well, she may not be aware of it yet. Speaking of, we've been gone so long we'd better get back."

Damon and I exited the restroom and our eyes landed on Lily at the same time. Flint was standing in front of her, talking to her. She was still, listening as he talked. Neither I nor Damon could hear what was being said and we started walking towards the two of them. Lily glanced over at me, her eyes locking on mine for a second before her mouth moved to say something to Flint. He stopped talking and looked at the two of us.

"Wonder what's up?" Damon wondered aloud as we edged closer to the table.

"Damon, I hate to do this," Lily said quietly as she stood. "I'm going to have to cut our date short. Flint needs me."

"Flint?" Damon asked frowning.

"I want to make sure we can get in a bit more one on one practice," Flint said as he stood there. His words were casual but there was an undercurrent to the way he spoke them. Damon and I exchanged a glance.

"Oh, ok," Damon said smiling. "Do you want us to come along and help?"

"No!" Flint and Lily both said at once, a little loud. We were startled by their response. Flint went back to looking cool.

"Enjoy your afternoon," he said. "There's no need for you to give up your afternoon for her. It's nothing I can't handle alone."

"It's easier to work one on one without an audience," Lily added casually as she picked up her drink. She finished it and started digging around her bag for some money. Flint was faster and tossed some up on the table.

"See you back at school," Flint said as he placed his hand on Lily's upper arm and lead her away. Damon and I watched them leave and then we looked at one other.

"What in heck just happened there?" Damon demanded as they took their seats. I shook my head, shrugging.

"I have no idea!" I said in earnest. It looked to me that Flint just walked in here and stole Damon's pseudo date away from him.

"We should follow them," Damon said as he fished out a few more coins to cover the rest.

"Follow them? Why?" I asked. I didn't want to catch either Flint or Lily's wrath if they caught us following them, and after all, it was just more Quidditch practice.

"Something's just not right," Damon said crossing his arms.

"I am not about to get in trouble for following Flint and Lily," I explained as I shook my head. "They seemed pretty adamant that they do not want our help."

"And that doesn't strike you as odd?" Damon pressed. I thought about it for a moment, contemplating.

"Well, yeah," I said. I sighed as I shook my head in disbelief for what I was about to do. "I am going to regret this. Let's go."

We didn't know where to look, and it was by chance that we were on the lane that led to the Shrieking Shack. The two of us walked the path slowly as the heard music wafting down faintly from the house. I looked at Damon, both of us hearing it at the same time, and we picked up the pace, slipping undetected between the barbed wire fence. I peeked in through the murky, dusty windows, unable to see anything. Not seeing any way around it, Damon and I headed inside silently as we followed the music.

In the back of the house was a perfectly clean room, devoid of dust. I heard the slow music hit a sour note and a male whispered a swear word. Damon and I slipped toward the room, sneaking in the door. Flint was sitting with his back to the door at a giant piano that's cleanliness alone was enough to make it look out of place. Lily sat next to him. She had removed her jacket and sat in her jeans and tee shirt.

"I'm never going to get this," Flint said gruffly as he slammed his fists down on the piano. Lily placed her hand on the small of his back, rubbing it gently.

"You're doing wonderful, Malvo. You've only been practicing for two months," Lily said. Flint grunted.

"You play," he said. "It always calms me down." She laughed and nodded as he slid off the bench. Damon and I backed up out of sight quickly but watched as Flint sat in a chair near the piano. He closed his eyes, tilting his head back.

"What do you want me to play?" Lily asked him quietly.

"Anything," he groaned. "Anything at all."

Lily placed her fingers on the keys, letting them dance along in a familiar pattern. I couldn't remember if I had ever seen her play, but it was breath taking. I listened, trying to place where he had heard that song before. It seemed so familiar. I held my breath as her fingers danced along the keys. The song was familiar, but more ornate sounding on the piano. My mind almost automatically began picking the song apart, removing the fancier tones and I, instead, listened to the melody. It was the song from the music the locket played. I felt my chest contract painfully and I bolted out of the house. Damon was on his heels.

"Scorpius! Wait up man," Damon called once we were free of the house.

"I can't," I shot back at him. "I know how to fix this."


	22. Breaking Up

**A/N:** I know its been a while, but I've been very busy planning my overseas move.

**Disc.:** I am only warping these characters for my (and your) viewing pleasure. I didn't create them.

* * *

**Breaking Up**

I left Damon following, trailing, as I ran back towards Hogsmead. A few people called to me, vying for my attention. I ignored them, ignored Damon as I skidded down the steps to the dungeon. He followed, muttering under his breath as we entered our dormitory. I headed to my dresser and opened the box. I peered inside for a moment.

"Do you think I could repair this?" I asked. Damon raised an eyebrow and looked at all the shatter little pieces of the locket.

"I… I don't know. It looks pretty destroyed," Damon said poking his finger into the box, moving the pieces around. "Wouldn't it be easier just to buy a new one?"

"It would if there was another one like this, but that's not the point. Do you think I could fix this?" I asked closing the box. I placed it up on the top of my dresser. No one ever asked me why I had a box that looked so feminine on my dresser out of respect. They had known it was my mothers.

"I think you could, if you wanted to," Damon said slowly as he looked at my face. "What are you thinking?"

"That if I fixed it, maybe Lily would be ok," I said hesitantly. Damon raised his eyebrow again. "You know, that it'd make things ok with us."

"You think fixing a piece of jewelry is going to fix the problems you two have?" Damon asked me as he crossed his arms. I opened my mouth to say something when Elena knocked and entered our room without waiting for us to give her entrance.

"Did you hear?" Elena asked quietly as she crossed the room. She was keeping herself together, but some days were worse than others. Today, she looked tired, stressed.

"Are you ok?" I asked quietly and she seemed to be physically holding herself together with her arm. She sat down with a huff.

"Not really," she admitted and she looked at her shoes for a minute. I looked to Damon but he could only shrug. She sighed and looked up, recollected. "Anyways, do you want to know what I just saw?"

"I don't know, do I?" I asked. I felt the weight, the ghost of hands on my shoulder and wondered if Darla was hanging out with me. I definitely wasn't going to discuss that little snafu with anyone. The last thing I needed was someone calling me crazy or having me forced to go to the hospital wing. Elena met my eyes and there was such sadness that it was nearly overwhelming.

"No, not really," she said in a defeated voice. "But I think you need to hear it now, from me, before you witness it for yourself."

"Um, ok," I said shrugging. Whatever she had to tell me, it couldn't be that bad. Hell, my betrothed had died and the girl I love was cold and distant. It couldn't get much worse. Oh, was I wrong.

"I saw Lily…" Elena said. She took a deep breath and in a rush continued. "I saw Lily kissing Malvo Flint in front of the great hall."

I stood there, looking at Elena, frozen. My mind heard what she had said, it could understand the words individually, but together they refused to make sense in my mind. Lily, my Lily, was kissing our captain in front of the great hall? No. That didn't make any sense. Lily was Lily and she didn't just kiss people, kiss authority, like that. I opened my mouth to protest, then closed it unable to make words come out.

"No, it can't be," Damon said. Thankfully one of us still had his wits about him. I couldn't form a coherent protest in my head, much less anything to speak.

"I saw it with my own eyes," Elena said warily as she watched me. I kept opening my mouth, to protest, and kept snapping it shut with unformed words.

"Maybe she was properly thanking him for the extra practice, or whatever," Damon continued in my favor. Elena got a sharp look in her eye.

"If that is how people are supposed to properly thank someone, then my parents like to properly thank each other behind closed doors," Elena said firmly.

"She… kissed him?" I finally managed. Elena looked at me and nodded sadly.

"Open mouth, full on," Elena said with a gentle voice. The room jerked slightly and I stumbled. Damon grabbed my arm.

"You going to pass out, man?" Damon asked. I jerked my arm free and shook my head.

"Malfoys don't just pass out," I growled. Anger swept over me, burying the hurt that was tearing at my insides. "I need to get some air."

"I'll go with you," Damon said and I caught him throw Elena a look as we walked out. I stopped him.

"No," I said firmly. My hand was on his chest, holding him at bay. "I need to be alone."

Damon allowed me to leave on my own, though I could tell that he didn't want me to. I half expected him to yell for me to not do anything rash or stupid, but that was too late. I had. Sure, no one knew about it, but I had given my heart over to Lily in ways that I hadn't even been aware of. I was left, shattered and broken as I headed up the stairs. I hope that I wouldn't cross their path, Malvo and Lily's. I just couldn't stand it.

I walked around alone for about a week, not really there. Sometimes people were physically near me, but emotionally, spiritually, I was alone. Hell, even the weight of whatever spirit that was normally near me seemed to have all but disappeared. Truth be told, it was a dark time and I wasn't even really aware of the people who normally surrounded me. I was a shell of myself, not truly Scorpius Malfoy, but a shadow of the man with the beautiful exterior.

"Man, you need to snap out of it," Damon whispered at me at breakfast one morning. I had been stirring my tea for at least ten minutes, unaware of my surroundings. It was hyperaware of Lily just a ways down the table, holding hands with Malvo. The silver lining was that I had yet to see them kiss.

"Sorry," I mumbled. Damon was right, I did need to snap out of it. Slowly, I allowed my head to break the surface of despair. The feelings were still there, the salt in the wounds, but little would change that. I grimaced.

"Did you get your potions paper written?" Damon asked. I nodded slowly, as if slightly drugged.

"I did it last night," I said quietly. Damon sighed.

"It's going to be ok," Damon promised. I looked at him skeptically, and the first flickers of anger lit my eyes.

"No, it's not, and you can't even promise something like that," I said in a low growl. A slight relief crossed Damon's face. I guess anger was allowed, but wallowing in a numb void was not. I preferred the numb void, personally, but who was I to know what was healthy or not.

"Oh, damn it," Damon said as he reached around in his bag. "I forgot my Herbology book. See you in class."

"Bye," I said glancing back down at my cold tea. I made a face and pushed it away, deciding that I still wasn't hungry. I stood, and when I did Lily's eyes flickered to mine. It felt as if the air was knocked from my lungs and they couldn't draw a new breath. I was going to suffocated if I stood there for another moment, and I forced my legs to push me forward, out of the great hall. I decided that I would just go to class early when a pair of strong hands pushed me into the nearest wall. James was at the end of those hands.

"What the hell?" I demanded. My voice sounded angry. Anger was a good thing. Hotter than numbness and better feeling than pain, anger suited how I felt now.

"Why the hell is she with him?" James demanded in a low growl. He glared at me, as if it was my fault that Malvo and Lily were together. "I had a hard enough time understand why she was with you, but this… this I can't even begin to wrap my mind around."

"I don't know," I growled back. We kept our voices low to not draw attention, but some interactions did anyways and a few curious eyes flickered to us as their owners passed us by. "You think I like this any more than you do?"

"He's too old for her," James said angrily.

"I agree," I squeezed out from between clenched teeth. James wasn't telling me something I didn't already know, and frankly I was getting angry having to face this fact with him so up in my face about it. I wanted to yell at him, to hit him, something. I wanted to tell him that if I could change the fact that his sister was dating Malvo Flint, I would in a heartbeat.

"You told me that you would never hurt her," James reminded me. James' voice didn't drip with anger, it was flooded with anger. It was nearly tangible, like I could have been slapped upside the head with it. "I want you take that back. I want you to hurt her, by hurting him. Anything to get him and her broken up."

"He's the captain of my team," I countered. I was still angry, but also weary, tired. I wanted to hurt Malvo, I wanted Lily, but I felt like I was constantly at war to win her heart and now it was gone, a lost battle. "Not to mention that he's older and larger than me. It'd be suicide."

"I'm willing to risk it," James said suddenly and I couldn't help it. I laughed, not a laugh of joy or elation, but one of just surrender with a hint of pain. I pushed James' hands off my shirt before someone came along and got the wrong idea, and found that James was laughing too, in the same defeated way. The sound died as quickly as it had come and James' face became a mask of seriousness again. "Isn't she worth it?"

"Yes," I said in a breathy voice that I even cringed at hearing. James raised an eyebrow at me with the breathy sounding word and I cleared my throat. "But if she's happy, really happy with Malvo Flint, who are we to take that happiness, even if we want to."

"He's too damn old for her," James retorted in a snarl. "Half a decade almost."

"She'll be fourteen soon," I said quietly. To me, the voice of reason sounded vaguely tired. Perhaps reason was tired of fighting.

"Not until the end of summer," James continued. He didn't sound angry, just lost and uncertain. He looked helpless. "And still, I think you are too old for her but it's a heck of a lot better than Flint."

"So, what do you want me to do about it?" I asked and the words held something I hadn't expected. They sounded pained, nothing like I was feeling inside, but still pain none the less.

"Well, for one, quit pretending that it doesn't kill you to see them together," James said. I stopped for a moment, stopped everything, breathing and thinking and everything. I looked at him, stared at him in disbelief. "We can all see through that brave front shit you've been pulling, except for her. Maybe if she knew you actually care for her, she'll come to her senses."

"She'll never come to her senses," I whispered almost afraid that anything louder would hurt to say. "I've tried before to get her to understand that none of the bad stuff matters. I want to be with her."

"Well, work harder, try harder," James said. He lowered his voice as a professor walked by, eying the of us talking in the corridor. "Look, I know what goes through our minds when we're with a girl. I can only imagine that at his age, they don't have the inexperience that holds them back."

"You're… talking about… sex, aren't you?" I clarified. My heart came to a grinding halt and all the implications of a relationship between Lily and someone Malvo's age rushed in flashes of false memories in my head. I felt sickened by the idea, and from the pale look on James' face, he wasn't a fan of the idea, either.

"I don't want to think about it," James moaned and for a moment I thought he might be sick. I shook my head gently.

"She wouldn't, you don't think?" I questioned. My voice was barely loud enough for James to hear, and hear me he did. James looked even paler and leaned against the wall quickly.

"I'd hope not," James moaned. He closed his eyes for a second. "Look, I don't want anything bad happening to her. She's my baby sister. I just know that she's really naïve and I'd hate to think that he would take advantage of her. And he will."

"You don't know that," I protested. I mean, part of that was Slytherin pride, and part of that hoped that no one would ever take advantage of Lily. James raised an eyebrow at him.

"You did. You were her first real kiss, something she wouldn't even do with her boyfriend," James reminded him. Oh, yeah. Right. The kiss. I nodded hesitantly, unwillingly.

"Right," I said in an exhaled breath. "Good point."

"So, you have to do something," James practically begged. "I'd rather have you with her over him. At least give him a run for his money, will you?"

"I'll try!" I snapped. I would rather take angry words to the begging words of James Potter any day, especially over doing something about his sister. Before James could make any more requests of me, I stormed away. I had a broken heart because of one Potter, I wasn't going to be late because of another one.

I didn't know what James expected me to do about the whole thing. It wasn't like Lily would just accept me back into her arms, and she was still barely talking to me. Granted, I had been distant since Elena had told me be about Lily and Flint. I nearly asked Damon for help, but I couldn't bring myself to admit that I was clueless. I shouldn't have been, but I was.

Damon and I were walking to class later that week, discussing our upcoming Quidditch match against Gryffindor. I had to admit that the possibility that Lily would get to return to play against our rivals was a slight source of hope, a glimmer down the dark tunnel I felt like we were walking along. Damon nodded.

"Seriously, we'd have been better off if we had played with one less player," Damon said as we turned the corner to the long corridor. We both stopped short, and I felt like someone had punched me in the gut and stolen all of my precious air. Damon made a small sound and if I replied, I don't even know.

I couldn't look away at first, the image held me as if I couldn't make sense of it. Lily, so small in comparison to Flint, was standing against him, her head tilted all the way back. He had hunched over to meet her, and managed to scoop her up against him. They were kissing and it couldn't have been mistaken for anything but a passionate tongue-tying experience. I felt a wave of nausea rip through me, anger and disgust and pity all swirled around the wounded hurt feeling.

I turned and walked away, Damon on my heels. It was one thing to hear the rumors, to see them holding hands together and talking, but I just couldn't stomach her kissing him like that. Maybe if I had expected it, or had fair warning instead of swinging around a corner to see it, I would have fared better.

"Dude, you ok?" Damon asked and I glanced at him as I continued to hurry away. He took a step back, and I wondered what my face had looked like. I headed to the first restroom I could find and went to the sink. I tried to ignore the way that things were blurring, hoping that by ignoring them I wouldn't cry. I refused to look in the mirror before me, just clutched the sink for support and glared at the faucets. Damon waited without a word.

When I had composed myself better, we headed to our last Quidditch practice before our match against Gryffindor. I sat on the bench, readying myself when Flint came in, slamming things as he walked by. Whatever got his panties in a wad, he was pissed. He slammed the door to his office, kicked some stuff around, yelled at no one, and then came out. He swung the door open and glared around the now silent locker room.

"Griffon, you're back in the Gryffindor game," Flint growled.

"Why?!" a few players protested. Flint glared.

"Potter's been permanently benched," he snapped and headed back into the office, slamming the door again. I was certain that the glass would shatter in its frame, but they used that special wire reinforced window panes. Probably because of events like these, I'd think.

"Dude," Damon said as he closed his locker and a glimmer of hope welled up in my chest. Maybe Flint and Lily were fighting and that's why he benched her. It'd be a petty reason, but I was willing to live with it if there was trouble in paradise.

"Serious anger issues," I said almost giddy as the two of us headed out to the pitch. Griffon still sucked monkey balls. How he ever made it as a replacement player, I'll never understand. Sometimes I wondered if he was truly that stupid, or if he had to work at it. Sure, he could play a good beater when he focused, but it took so little for him to get distracted.

I didn't see Lily or Flint together, and I wasn't going to start asking around. That just would have been déclassé. I wouldn't do that. Still, I couldn't fight the hope that was building into a purring beast within my chest that maybe they were breaking up, and maybe she'd need a shoulder to cry on. I felt like skipping, which is very un-Malfoy. I didn't.

I entered the common room the morning before the match to see Lily and Flint already up, standing off to the side talking. Their body language was tense, and I wondered if this was it, if they were breaking up. I tried to make myself look unobtrusive, checking my watch and looking back at the dormitory door for Damon. All of my hope was dashed when Flint and Lily kissed, and a knife turned in my stomach, slowly. I decided not to wait for Damon and headed to breakfast depressed.

I sat there, glaring at my orange juice and bacon as Lily walked in the doors. I didn't look up, really, just caught a glimpse of her as I reached for the jam for my toast. She walked towards me and I refused the swell of hope in my stomach. Too much vanquished hope could kill a man, and I already sometimes wished that I was dead. She hesitated but continued on down the table where she normally sat with her friends. Sure enough, Kate, Shale, and a few other third year students arrived and sat down around her, effectively hiding her from me.

She pouted a bit, and I knew it was about the benching. I heard her making comments over the din of the great hall. She threw me a pleading look, almost as if she wanted me to talk to Flint and convince him. Her look said it all, words or not but I shook my head and refused to look at her. I did glance up when Flint strolled in, stopping to smile and plant a kiss on her forehead before making Shale scoot down and give him room. It pissed me off. Hope was an evil thing.

If she was annoyed by the permanent benching by game time, it didn't show. She sat with her friends and cheered for both sides like a crazy person, yelling and screaming loudly when both sides scored. When I scored, even knowing she cheered for all scores, a certain pride washed over me when I heard her scream my name excitedly.

I decided then that I would do whatever it took for her to be happy again, to be my friend. To hell with James Potter. He was her big brother. If he wanted Lily and Flint to break up and be no more, he could do it his damn self. If she was happy, truly happy, I would be ok with that. I thought about that, her happiness, and the wheels started turning on ways that I could fix things between us. If nothing else, I wanted Lily back as a friend.

"Get your head in the game, Malfoy," Flint shouted at me as he blocked a bludger, sending it racing toward James Potter. "I'll call a time out and replace you if I have to."

"No, I'm good," I growled at him, pulling my attention off of Lily. I refuse to have Flint remove me.

"Good," Flint shouted. "And stay away from Lily."

"Not a chance in hell," I challenged as I flew off. Flint wasn't going to keep me from trying to rectify things with Lily, her boyfriend or not. I raced around the pitch, playing hard. I scored several goal, partly to hear Lily cheer for me, partly because it was my duty as Chaser. I dodged the bludgers as best as I could, Griffon trying to keep up and to keep attentive. Griffon failed on one, distracted by something mundane, and a bludger clipped me. It stung a bit, but thankfully nothing was broken. I shouted something at Griffon who looked startled that I yelled at him. It was a hard game, the Gryffindors hell bent on not losing twice to them in one season.

We played our best.

Unfortunately, we lost by ten points. The disappointment dripped from us as we walked back from the pitch, mirrored in the steady drizzle that had cropped up un-expectantly. I hung back, stuck on broom duty, and watched as Lily congratulated her brother and cousin. She wrapped her arms around them with promises and deliveries of giant hugs before heading back towards the door of the locker room to wait for Flint. I passed her slowly, cautiously.

"Good game, Scorpius," Lily said quietly. I stopped and looked at her, hanging out just beyond the door that would lead me to a hot shower and dry, warm clothes. She smiled at me, touching my face before she realized what she was doing. My heart leaped in my chest, unexpectedly. Where she touched my face tingled with excitement. She blushed and pulled back. "How's your arm?"

"Good," I said as I looked down at the hand she had just used to touch my face; her fingers twitched slightly. I pulled my protective gear off, rolling up my sleeve to show her the slight bruise already forming. "It's not broken or anything."

"That's good," Lily said as she smiled again, that wonderful sun peeking from the clouds smile and she reached out, touching me again. Her fingers tracing the outline of the bruise. She grinned. "Shame we didn't win."

"Yeah," I said. I watched her shake the rain out of her hair. The simple action had my heart racing faster as I watched water trail down her neck and disappear between her skin and the collar of her shirt. "Why not wait for Flint inside?"

"Only players are allowed in the locker room," Lily reminded me quietly. She looked down, taking a shaky breath as if she was fighting some huge emotion. "I'm off the team."

"You are?" I exclaimed. I knew she had been benched, but completely kicked off the team? It was news to me.

"Yeah," Lily said. She frowned. "Even if I could have gotten cleared, I'm failing Herbology. I'm on academic expulsion for the rest of the season."

"How can you be failing Herbology?" I asked in confusion. Lily was bright and everyone loved her. She was a good student, and Professor Longbottom was supposedly a family friend of her parents. How in the hell did she fail Herbology? Lily shrugged.

"I stopped going to class," Lily shrugged. I stood there, in the rain, staring at her. I didn't believe it at first, but she didn't continue and I had to believe that it must have been true. She just stopped going to class. It was so unlike her. I thought on it a moment, carefully, slowly. I didn't particularly like Herbology, but I was making good marks. Maybe I could make this work to my advantage.

"How about this," I said mustering my nerve. "I'm not a fan of Herbology, but since there's not going to be any celebrating going on tonight in Slytherin, how about I try to help you get at least a passing grade."

"Ok," Lily said after a second. I fought the urge to be surprised that she agreed. It was then that I realized that I had been so sure that she would turn me down. "Sure. I mean, Professor Longbottom is being really cool about it, if I can make up all the work he won't even tell my parents."

"Sounds like a plan," I said forcing my voice to be even. "Say we meet in 30 minutes in the library?"

"Sure," Lily said grinning. I glanced up at the sky, trying to fight the urge to beam like a fool in love. I didn't want to let on to her that this would be good for me as it was for her.

"Come inside before you catch a cold," I said quietly. I reached out without another word and took her hand in my, pulling her towards the doors to the locker room. "I won't tell."

I almost wished that I hadn't brought her in the locker room. Flint was there, in various states of clean but undressed. I looked away as Flint embraced her, kissing Lily in a way that I could only wish I could repeat on those soft, damp lips. I hauled it towards the showers, certain that there wasn't a single lick of hot water left. I was right. I shower, scrubbed, and shaved. I would look perfect, I decided. Give her a physical reminder, a scent reminder, of who I was. I felt a little silly for a moment, wondering if I was making too big of a deal about this. It was, after all, only studying. I headed towards the main locker area, and stopped. I pressed myself into the shadows; Lily and Flint's voices were hushed but upset sounding and if it was bad, I didn't want to catch wrath from either of them.

"Look, Lily, I told you I'd keep it up for as long as the ruse remained intact," Flint said quietly. I couldn't see them from where I was hiding, but I could hear them and Flint sounded defeated.

"I didn't break the ruse, Malvo," Lily protested with a thick voice, and I knew she'd had been crying, was crying, or would be crying soon. It ached in me, the knowledge of that voice.

"I know," Flint said quietly.

"I don't understand," Lily said.

"Look, Lily, I did something really stupid, ok? I shouldn't have agreed to this, I should have known better," Flint told her quietly. I wanted to peek around the corner, but I didn't. I didn't want to interrupt and I didn't want to be seen.

"Everything is going great, Malvo, really," Lily said. "Everyone thinks it is true."

"That's the problem, Lily," Flint said frustrated. He lowered his voice so that I had to strain to hear him. "I want it to be true."

"What?" Lily finally asked. I wanted to ask the same thing. I thought that they were together, and it seemed at that moment that there was more to it.

"Look, Lily. I told you, I'd pretend to be your boyfriend to keep the guys away from you unless the ruse became less of a ruse," Flint said very quietly. It was getting hard to hear, and also impossible to not want to hear. "Honestly, I thought that you'd fall for me and I'd have to decide to end it. I never, not once, in a million years have thought that I'd fall for you so completely. You're thirteen years old. I turn eighteen tomorrow. That alone should have knocked some sense in me, kept my feelings at bay. I can't let this continue, Lily." I didn't know what his expression was, but I could guess, having fallen in love with her over and over myself. I knew that feeling, how good it felt, and how much it hurt.

"But… you said," Lily mumbled.

"I said I'd keep it up until it fell apart," Flint told her quietly.

"You fell for me?" Lily asked uncertainly.

"Yeah," Flint said. I closed my eyes, wondering if things would change for them, if she'd give herself fully to Flit now that she knew he would be in it for the long haul if she wanted.

"Why's that so bad?" Lily asked suddenly. It was as if the air had been sucked from the locker room, I couldn't breathe. She was opening herself up to him, giving him everything short of permission with that. I felt a cold hand crush my heart. Flint would take the open, I knew it. I never had a chance.

"Because I know you don't feel the same way," Flint said finally after what seemed like a long, tortured silence. "You may not see it but you're crazy about someone else."

"I can pretend," Lily insisted. "I've been doing great so far."

"What kind of guy would that make me?" Flint said in a cool laughter.

"Malvo, please," Lily begged and it made me cringe. "Don't break up with me. Wait until the summer."

"No," Flint said firmly. I wondered how strong his resolve was, because had it been me, I'd have crumbled under it and given her whatever her heart desired at that very moment.

"Why not?" She breathed and I knew she didn't trust her voice anymore to speak. She was crying.

"Because, damn it Lily I don't want to pretend to be in love with you," Flint said angrily. He slammed a locker and it made me jump. "I thought I could do it, that's the only reason I let this thing go public in the first place. I told you I did a stupid thing. It wasn't falling in love with you. It was thinking that you'd fall in love with me too."

"H-how long?" Lily asked with a shaky voice.

"How long what?" Flint asked crossly.

"Have you felt this way? How long have you _l-loved_ me?" Lily asked. Her voice was low, a whisper almost, and I was certain that she was definitely crying.

"I was attracted to you from day one of Quidditch practice," Flint said regretfully. "Had I not been, I probably wouldn't have even thought of letting you try out. I already wanted you when we won the first game. I was in love with you the day you got hit with the bludger in the game against Ravenclaw."

"Then why did you agree?!" Lily asked him shrilly. Anger was good, very good. It got me through some hard times, and with Lily reverting to angry, tear choked words, maybe she'd be ok.

"I thought you might see me the same way I see you," Flint said regretfully. "You pretended well enough, but I could tell it when I kissed you. You're not in love with me. At least not like I am with you."

"Please don't do this," Lily begged. I hated that she begged, mainly because she wasn't begging to stay with me, but Flint.

"If you want, we can tell everyone that you broke up with me," Flint said coldly. He sounded like he was trying to hide his own emotions behind anger. How easily we hid behind our anger to not share how we were really feeling.

"Malvo, this isn't what I want," Lily said.

"I'm sorry if this is hurting you, Lily," Flint said, his voice warmer. "I never wanted to hurt you. Trust me, for as much as this is hurting you, it's killing me."

"Please," Lily begged again. I dared to peek, still hidden in the shadows as I edged around to see Flint drop his book bag by the door and rush her. He scooped her up roughly and kissed her. I felt jealousy well up in me, the heat of his kiss with Lily tangible. I was careful to stay hidden as I watched Flint pull away slightly.

"Tell me you felt anything like I feel," he challenged with his voice thick. I knew that thickness, hidden from it time and time again. Whatever he saw on her face must have confirmed it for him, because I slipped back into the shadows as he nodded and put Lily back on her feet. "Don't worry, Lily. You'll survive this, and we'll always have the Shrieking Shack."

"So, that's it then?" she said angrily.

"Yeah," he said. Flint sounded further as he walked away from her. I didn't dare to look as I heard the door open. "You'll invite me to your wedding, though?"

"You're such a masochist," Lily laughed through her tears.

"You'd better get a move on," he said to her quietly. "I hope Malfoy has a better chance than I did."

"It's not like that," Lily protested as her voice moved away from me. I heard the door slam and I waited, listening for anyone else. I peeked around the corner, thankful that they were gone and I checked my watch as I hurried to get my back pack out of my locker. I had ten minutes to get to the library, and much to my surprise, I was eager. Hope was crawling out of that dark place inside of me and encouraging me. I hoped it wasn't all for naught and a ghostly squeeze silently promised that it wasn't.


	23. Revamping

A/N: Trying to keep up the momentum, writing in the parent pick up lane and trying to not get my lunch on my computer. Multitasking at its best.

Disc.: I created the plot, wove the heart ache, but the characters are not mine.

* * *

Revamping

I ran full speed across the courtyard, heading straight to the library. I paused just outside of the door to calm my breath and my heart until I looked unaffected. I smoothed my hair down and headed in, my eyes scanning the library. My eyes fell on Lily, sitting by the window. I watched her for a moment, wiping her eyes with her hands. It pained me to see her so upset, to see her crying. It confused me that she was so upset over the break up. They had been pretending, or at least she had been. I wondered if maybe a tiny bit of her hadn't been.

I shook the thought from my head and continued into the library. It wouldn't help matters between Lily and myself if I admitted to overhearing the conversation between them. Plus, if she was starting to really feel for Flint, I didn't want to know about it. She looked up at me as I placed my bag on the table. Lily quickly ran her hands over her face, forcing the tears from her eyes. I sighed, knowing I needed to at least ask about it.

"Are you ok?" I asked dutifully as I took the seat right next to her at the table. I hadn't planned on sitting that close to her but the idea that she might need to reach for me, might need my shoulder to cry on had me planted firmly next to her. She smiled at me, a smile that didn't reach her eyes, and she nodded slightly.

"Yeah," she said. She turned away from me and began digging in her bag until she retrieved her Herbology textbook.

"You don't look ok," I said to her. She made a face at me.

"Gee, thanks, Malfoy," she said rolling her eyes. "Just what a girl wants to hear."

"No, I meant… _never mind_," I said frowning. She was already twisting my words around, and I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. She laughed.

"I know what you meant," Lily said looking away. "So, you really think you can help me out with this Herbology stuff?"

"Yeah," I said as I scooted my chair closer to hers. I hesitated before I put my arm on the back of her chair. I could smell her, the sweet scent on the air and I knew I was pushing the envelope, sitting so close to her, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to be closer to her. "After all, I did take it two years ago, if you remember."

"Hmm," Lily said noncommittally as she bent over the book. We worked well beyond dinner, trying to get Lily caught up on her course work. I watched her steady hand write her papers, work on the worksheets. She was relentless, eager to fix her mistakes.

"So, Flint's the reason you were skipping Herbology?" I asked quietly, keeping my voice a whisper as Madame Pince passed near our table.

"It was his free period," Lily replied not looking at me. I wondered what they had done during his free period, and why no one had noticed sooner. I mean, how anyone couldn't have noticed Lily's disappearance bothered me.

"That was pretty dumb of you, Lils," I said as I instinctively leaned closer to her. I pointed at one a line on her parchment. "I don't think pollination fits the sentence about the blooming of Horned-Tip tubers. They don't really have pollen."

"Um," Lily said as she crossed it out. Her voice was quiet, and I wondered if I had offended her. I could feel warmth radiating off of her as we sat so close. She didn't make a move to put distance between us, and neither did I.

"Look, I wasn't calling you stupid, just your actions," I whispered softly. "You're really smart and to shirk your responsibilities because of your boyfriend is irresponsible. Especially when he has a duty to make sure that you are becoming the best possible you that you could be." She turned her head a little to look at me, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. We were sitting so close, too close.

"No worries there," Lily breathed.

"What do you mean?" I feigned ignorance. I couldn't go and tell her that I already knew. It'd come off as creepy, me hanging out in the shadows watching her.

"We… we kind of broke up," Lily said as her voice shook a little.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said quietly, my eyes flickered towards a nearby table to make sure that we weren't getting overheard. She smiled at me, but her eyes filled with tears.

"No you're not," Lily said. "But that's ok."

"No, really Lily," I insisted. I wasn't sorry that they broke up, that was true, but I hated to see her hurting. "I'm sorry you're hurting."

"That's very sweet of you," Lily mumbled after staring at me for a few seconds. I couldn't read her expression, several emotions ran just under the surface. She blushed that beautiful rosy blush that I loved and she quickly turned back to her books. "I'm surprised that you don't want to know who broke up with whom."

"I figure you'd tell me if you wanted me to know," I said casually. Frankly, I couldn't have cared less but that would have been rude to say so. Instead I glanced at the fraction of an inch my arm was to her back, and I counted the steps it would be to go from arm resting on the back of her chair to have her in my arms, our mouths fighting for dominance. I needed only take that first step, to slide my arm around her, to pull her close. I wondered if she'd protest if ran my tongue against her lips and parted them. I nearly shivered with the thought.

"What?" Lily asked. I met her eyes and it was my time to be embarrassed. I wondered how long she had known I was staring at her, thinking about kissing her.

"Nothing," I said as a smile crossed my face. Heat crawled up my face, much to my displeasure, and I turned the focus back to her paper. "Finish up that last line so we can go grab dinner."

"Ugh, I don't really want to eat with all those people," Lily said as she picked up her quill and continued to write.

"You have really neat handwriting," I commented, suddenly uncomfortable with the silence between us. I had watched the elegant motions her hand went through to form her words.

"Thanks," Lily said.

"I don't think I've ever seen it before," I murmured. I couldn't ever remember ever seeing her handwriting before. It was professor perfect, elegant. She grinned at me, almost teasing.

"Probably not," Lily said. "There's been no reason for you to."

"I'll have to change that," I commented with a grin. Lily raised an eyebrow.

"And how do you plan on doing that?" Lily asked. I shrugged. I hadn't thought that far out.

"I haven't worked it out yet."

"You'll let me know, though, huh?" Lily smirked. Her stomach growled.

"You don't need to worry about it," I said as I glanced over the paper she had just finished. "Let's go grab something to eat."

Instead of heading to the Great Hall, I took Lily by the hand and led her towards the kitchen. Her hand felt perfect in my hand and I never wanted to let go. I was almost positive that Lily would have pulled away, but Lily didn't resist, just followed along behind me curiously. The kitchen was warm, bright. The scents of the dinner being served up in the great hall made my stomach growl with anticipation and the house elves seemed thrilled to have us there. Lily looked around, almost wide eyed and startled, and I led her to the table. I decided to sit across from her. I didn't trust myself to keep my hands off of her, and I didn't want to push it. My body wanted to, definitely, and it kept battling with my mind, reminding me how easily my mouth could fit against hers, our bodies could be pressed together. I caught my breath in my throat at the mental image of pinning her to the bench, and I knew I made the right choice. It would have been a meal from hell, to keep such temptation at bay.

"I've never been in here before," Lily murmured as overly eager house elves placed plates of food before us. I hadn't expected that, but it explained her expression of wonderment on her face.

"Really?" I asked. "I'm surprised your brothers didn't tell you about this. They visit here often."

"The way they eat, I'm not surprised," Lily said laughing. I couldn't help but laugh. I had seen the way her brothers ate, and it wasn't a surprise that they'd know the way to the kitchens unimpeded.

"Now, you will have to keep it a secret," I warned her in a teasing way, a smile placed carefully on my lips. Another one of Lily's firsts lost at my doing. It made my mind fight to wander, but I wouldn't let it wander to that, to pinning Lily between the benches in stages of undress. "We're not technically supposed to be in here."

"Ooh," Lily teased as she started eating. She grinned at me, one of her happy grins that reminded me why she was worth every moment of pain and hurt that I had been in over her.

The meal continued with an easy flow of conversation and I couldn't help but silently cheer inside. She didn't seem averse to conversing with me. It was better than I could have ever hoped in a conversation with her. She laughed at my jokes, even the silly, corny ones, poked fun of the careful way I cut my meat (to which I reminded her that we hadn't all been raised with savages like James and Albus), and in turn I teased her about the way she dipped her pot roast into her potatoes before eating it. I knew it'd end, the conversation, and I honestly tried to drag it out as long as possible.

"Desert?" I suggested. Lily looked warily at the piece of cake the house elves had put between us. It was chocolate and looked positively to die for, death by chocolate. I balanced the fork in my hands, tempting her with it.

"I shouldn't," Lily said as she pushed her hand to her stomach. I grinned because truth be told, I think we had both already over eaten by leaps and bounds, and I couldn't help but wonder if she wanted to delay the end of this as much as I did. "I think I've already eaten more than a girl my age should eat."

"The house elves made it especially for you," I said trying to make her feel guilty for thinking about turning it down. I stood before I could really think about what I was doing and joined her on Lily's side of the table. "One little bite and they'd probably not be _as_ heartbroken about you not eating the cake they made than as if you just walked away."

"Fine, one bite," Lily said rolling her eyes. She held out her hand to me, requesting the fork. I relinquished the fork to her and watched as she took a very small bite. I shook my head, trying not to laugh.

"Oh, that hardly counts as a taste," I coughed, choking on the laughter. I failed and laughed anyways, snatching the fork out of her hand.

"No, I took a bite," she laughed as I speared a huge bite with some fudgy icing. She tried to slide away from me, but I wrapped my arm around her tightly. I ignored the way my body seemed to vibrate with anticipation at the very mention of touching her, and felt things contract and tighten as she wrestled and struggled with me a moment, her head tilted back with the laughter that spilled out from her lips.

"You don't want the house elves to hurt themselves thinking you didn't like it," I told her as I continued to hold her tightly. "Now open up."

"It's too big," she complained as she wiggled around a bit. I laughed at the words, though entertaining the sudden thought that I'd love for her to make that same complaint later on, in a less pure way, in a more compromising position. It caught me off guard, and my grip on her was tightened. She was pressed forward against me and I knew I was pressing my luck. I threw caution to the wind, just slightly. I felt fairly certain about this, though, and continued to hold her body to mine.

"You'll live," I laughed. She rolled her eyes and took the bite. She chewed and swallowed it down with a huge glass of milk. How something so simple could be so sensual, I'd never understand. "Good?"

"You tell me," she said as I reluctantly released her. I suddenly needed a bit of space between us, before I did something incredibly stupid. She took the fork from me, her fingers brushing mine with electricity, and speared an even bigger bite.

"Lily, that is twice the size I gave you," I laughed as I continued to back up a little. My back was suddenly against the wall, practically, and for a moment I felt like a trapped animal. My heart was racing excitedly and I met her eyes. She got a wicked glint in her eye, climbing toward me. Tight things tensed even more and my body was threatening to take over.

"You'll live," she mocked as she leaned forward, balancing herself by pressing her hand into my thigh. I fought and nearly lost to the sound that wanted to escape out, one between surprise and ecstasy. If it was even possible to be more tense, I felt my body clench at her touch and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. She dropped the fork swiftly and grabbed the large piece of cake, shoving in into my face. It vaguely reminded me of a wedding move, and that idea had me excited and confused.

"I can't believe you!" I exclaimed laughing as I leaped forward and pinned her to the bench underneath me without thinking about it. "You'll pay for that, Lils."

"No!" She shrieked with laughed as I rubbed my chocolate cake covered face on her face like Ash would rub her face on my neck or face. I did my best to ignore the thoughts that would lead to removing clothes and hoped she'd not realize my sensitive state of confusion and arousal. "Oh, gross! Cake crumbs and fudge, all on my face. This is not very Slytherin of you."

"Maybe not," I chuckled as I let her up. I didn't want her to feel what I felt, not like this. Instead, I released her and she seemed unaware. Lily struggled to a sitting position as a house elf procured a bowl of warm water and wash cloth for us. Lily reached for it, but I grabbed it first. My hands were already clean and I didn't risk smearing chocolate everywhere. "Let me."

"Mm," Lily replied as she watched me wring the cloth out, the excess water falling back into the bowl. The sound tickled something deep in with me, more than it probably should have. I moved forward, touching her face with the cloth. I wanted to touch her everywhere, but behaved, keeping at the task at hand. Her eyes were closed and it would have been nothing to press my moth against hers, to part her lips and steal her breath.

"Perfect," I said almost breathily as I finished with her hands, my fingers still touching hers slightly. I had managed to get all of the stickiness off of her face and hands. She opened her eyes slowly and stared; I didn't know what her expression meant. She just watched me for a long moment, her eyes wide with whatever emotion was playing below the surface.

"I should reciprocate," Lily said grinning slightly at me. She held her hand out for the wash cloth and I relinquished it to her very capable hands. "I'm just glad you didn't decide to lick it off me."

"Damn, I should have. It'd only be fair," I teased. Her mentioning it brought the image to the forefront of my mind. While licking someone's face never appealed to me, the image of running my tongue along her lips, nibbling on her chin and face made that part of me that I was fighting roar with desire. I closed my eyes under her touch, enjoying the seeming innocent contact between us. I let my mind wander and suddenly I realized that she had stopped touching me. I opened my eyes to see her face very close to mine, inches away, with her bright blue eyes wide and her bottom lip being assaulted by her teeth. She was deep in thought and I had thoughts of my own that had me wanting to close the distance, to kiss her. Not only to kiss her, but to press her against the bench and kiss her breathless. I smiled, a pained, tortured smile, and stood. I carried the bowl to the counter, putting distance between us. I needed to, to maintain my sanity. If I kissed her and she turned me down, I wasn't sure my ego could recover from that.

"It's getting late," Lily said as she glanced at the clock. "You probably have prefect duty."

"I do," I said nodding as I glanced at my watch. "I'll walk you back."

"Thanks for dinner," Lily said as she followed me out of the kitchen. "Sorry about the cake."

"It was fantastic," I promised as I turned to look at her. "I can't think of a better way to eat cake."

"I doubt you actually ate much of it," Lily teased. She glanced at me quickly. "It was good, though, you were right about that. It was one of the better meal times I've had in a long time."

"I feel the same," I said honestly as I opened the portrait hole for her. "Sleep well, Lily, and we'll work on more of you Herbology make up work. No more skipping classes, either, or I'll tell your parents myself."

"Ooh, threats," Lily said playfully. I raised an eyebrow at her. As much as I enjoyed spending time with her, I didn't like that she had skipped class for anyone. I put my hands on her shoulders, making her face me and I leaned in. For a panicked moment, I wasn't sure what I was planning. I fought the urge to wet my lips as I practically pressed my mouth against her ear.

"I'm serious, Lils," I whispered in her ear. My lip brushed her ear accidentally and I fought the urge crush her under my mouth. "You're too smart to let one boy ruins your life. Don't let him."

"Mm, okay," Lily breathed her response. She shivered and I pulled back, smiling.

"Good girl," I said, though it oddly sounded in the same vein as 'that's my girl'. "Goodnight and I'll see you at breakfast."

"Goodnight, Score," Lily replied with a dazed breathlessness. She smiled at me, one of the smiles I was used to, when she loved me, and I couldn't help but smile back. She turned and headed into the common room alone. I nearly skipped to patrol, but didn't skip. I still had my image to uphold.

"Well done," James said as he fell into step next to me. I glanced at him with a frown.

"Um, ok?" I said. I wasn't exactly sure what he was giving me credit for.

"I mean, it took you long enough to get Lily and Flint broken up," James continued and I stopped him.

"I didn't have anything to do with that," I said shaking my head. "I just learned about it before dinner, when I was helping your sister with homework."

"I wondered why she missed dinner," James said frowning. "Did you make sure she ate something?"

"Yes, of course," I said matching his frown. "I couldn't very well have starved her, now could I?"

"Well, whatever," James said. "Whatever caused them to break up, I'm grateful. He was too old for her."

"Yeah," I agreed. James glanced at me and then grinned.

"Don't think that I'm going to just give you my blessing to pursue her," James laughed. "Remember, we still don't get along, you and I."

"Awe, and here I was thinking we were making headway," I taunted as I jinxed his shoe laces. He went down hard but I didn't make it two steps before he cast a jelly-legs curse and it felt like the bones in my legs were suddenly gone.

"That'll teach you," James laughed as he rolled to his back. He sat up tapped his shoes with his wand.

"No, that'll teach you to always be on your guard," I laughed as I muttered the counter curse under my breath and my legs felt solid again. "Eventually, you know, we're going to have to lose this pettiness."

"Thank Merlin it's not today," James laughed and he headed back towards the Gryffindor tower. I rolled my eyes and headed back towards the dungeon. I was tired, and frankly ready. I couldn't wait for the Easter holiday to begin. I planned to spend it working on a project, something to keep me occupied and to hopefully win a bit of Lily back.

Elena was waiting for me that next morning. We were supposed to take a roll call of who was staying and who was leaving for the Easter holiday. We went dorm to dorm, knocking and talking notes. My heart began to pound incessantly as Elena knocked on the third year girls' door. Callie answered the door as Lily jerked her shirt into place. I got an unexpected glimpse of a bit of her bra and the expanse of her stomach.

"We just wanted to get a head count of who is floo networking home for the Easter holiday," Elena said as she held a clipboard. I stood there, looking pretty. No one was paying me any mind, so I was able to get a glimpse of their dormitory. It was a little messy, but not too bad. Lily seemed to be looking for something and when she reached to touch the top of the armoire, her blue shirt rode up her back a little.

"I am," Lily said waving her hand. She tossed a look over her shoulder to make sure Elena had her down.

"Me, too," Callie said.

"I'm going home with Shale," Kate said blushing bright red. I heard the girls giggled and couldn't help but roll my eyes. Girls could be so silly sometimes.

"I'm staying here," Nina said dejectedly. "My parents are off Merlin knows where."

"Oh, come home with me," Lily and Callie both said at the same time. Lily laughed and looked at the other girl. I had never noticed how much smaller Lily seemed next to her friends, but it was plain as day, standing there in their midst.

"Really?" Nina asked looking at them. "Lily, nothing personal, but I don't think I could think if I was around your cute brother the entire weekend." I nearly laughed at the thought, not really caring which of Lily's brothers found cute. Lily's face was priceless. She stuck out her tongue and made a gagging gesture with her finger, causing Kate to giggle.

"No worries," Lily said grinning as she resumed her normal stance. She turned and looked at Elena and me, hands on her hips. "Oh, has anyone reported finding my blue shirt? I can't find it anywhere."

"No," Elena and I both said at the same time, sharing a glance. Maybe Lily had a different blue shirt that she was missing. I watched as Lily glanced down at the shirt she had pulled on and laughed.

"Never mind," she said giggling. "I found it."

"Third years, I swear," Elena mumbled we turned and left the doorway, Lily's laughter following us until the door shut. Elena looked at me skeptically. "And you like her why?"

"She's not normally that…" I said trailing off, trying to think of a word.

"Scatterbrained?" Elena offered. I rolled my eyes.

"She's probably just as excited about leaving as everyone else is," I defended. Elena rolled her eyes.

"Sure," she said with a smile on her face. I hated that look, like she could see right through me. I rolled my eyes and finished up the roster, turning it in before I gathered my belongings and took the first floo home. My grandmother was waiting with a house elf to take my bag.

"Scorpius," she said wrapping her arm around me lightly. "How's my favorite grandson?"

"I'm still your only grandson," I said. I hesitated. "I hope." Gran laughed.

"Unless Draco's done something I don't know about," she said as she led me out of the den. "So, do you have any plans this week?"

"I have a little project I want to work on," I mentioned. Gran raised an eyebrow, and with that slight gesture, I spilled my guts. It was as if that one gesture was a knife sweeping across my abdomen and everything tumbled out for inspection.

"You must feel very strongly about Lily," Gran said. I had expected her to be less understanding, but thankfully she just smiled and offered me the use of the dining room table. She watched as I laid out all of the little pieces. I had tried the repairing spell on it, but apparently the locket didn't think it was able to be fixed. I would show it.

"Mom? Scorpius? I'm home!" Dad called out as he entered the main part of the house. Gran was sitting there with me, and we both rose to join him for supper in the smaller dining room.

"Dad," I started but was cut off by the arrival of our dinner and then talk about the work that Dad was doing at the ministry. It was fine. I liked hearing about his job, what he could share. I was proud to be the son of an Auror, especially with our family's somewhat dark and checkered past.

I worked on the locket well into the night, taking over the fancy dining room table. I laid out each broken piece across the dark wood. Most of it was salvageable, but there were a few pieces that I had to have Gran apparate me to Diagon Alley for, and even a few muggle shops. I worked on it by hand, squinting at the smaller then possible screws and springs, gears and whatever those spindly things were supposed to be. I had no idea what I was doing, but I looked forward to completing the locket, to fixing it, and seeing Lily back at school on Monday. I hadn't figured out how I'd get it back to her, or if she'd even take it, but my heart told me that she would.

"Scorpius, have you seen the key to the Nagoya China cabinet?" Gran asked me as she came through. I looked up and shook my head.

"I've not seen it," I said. She frowned.

"Your father has decided to have company over for Easter dinner, and I wanted to use the very good china," Gran said as she placed her hand on her hip and began to poke around in the buffet's main drawer.

"Have you asked the house elves?" I asked and she shook her head slightly, disappearing off towards the kitchens. I repositioned the light and continued to work, stopping only to stretch a little and to work out the wicked cramps my muscles were getting from my ill positioning.

"Scorpius, perhaps a break?" Narcissa suggested as I tried to work the cramp out of the back of my neck. I looked up at her as she sat, holding a plate with what I assumed was my lunch.

"Gran, I have to fix this," I complained with an obvious edge to my voice. I was beginning to think that I had bit off more than I could chew, and while I could give up and Lily would never know, I didn't. I had to do this, and I was certain that it would be a turning point in our relationship.

"Wouldn't it be easier to just buy a new one?" Dad mumbled as a house elf trailed behind him, holding a tray with what I assumed was my father's lunch.

"Yeah," I couldn't help but grin at him. "But this is one of a kind."

"One of a kind?" Dad smirked in his very Malfoy-esque smirk. It was our trademark.

"It belongs to someone special, Draco," Gran explained to Dad. She began to pour us some tea and my dad looked from Gran to me and back again.

"Really?" Dad said and I swore that he was going to start teasing me about being in l-o-v-e. It was all it could be. Anything less would have had me setting the pieces and Gran's table on fire well before now. I rolled my eyes and pushed a piece towards another with a pair of microscopic tweezer things. "Is this someone special someone we know?"

"Yeah, probably, Dad," I said. I swore silently in my head as the heat rose up my neck and burned fire engine red against my pale skin. "I'm hoping by fixing this she'll realize that I want to be fixed between us."

"You know Darla's never coming back," Gran said to Dad with her quiet voice she used to gossip sometimes when she wasn't trying to come off as a gossip. "And Scorpius never really loved her. You want what's best for your son, as I did you. It's time, maybe, that he moves on to someone else."

"But he just said that things were broken between them. How could she be worthy of him if they hadn't worked out before hand?" Dad just didn't get it. I mean it was Lily-freaking-Potter. She was worthy of me and so much more. If anything, I wasn't worthy of her. He turned his line of questioning to me, which made me uncomfortable. "Who is she, Scorpius? You say I already know her."

"Dad, I don't really want to talk about it," I said blushing harder. The pieces began to just fall into place and I was moving quickly, trying to convey that I was too busy to talk. The locket was splayed open with its spilled out on the table. If that didn't speak 'too busy to discuss love life', nothing would.

"She must be very special," Dad said quietly in his thoughtful voice. It made me cringe because I knew he was picking it apart, the thoughts and interactions that had included him, me, and any girl that I could have been head over heels for. "I'd probably never slave over fixing… _what is that anyways?_"

"It's a locket that plays music," I said reluctantly as I threw him a glance. A half smile tugged at Dad's mouth, and my stomach flip-flopped uncomfortably. I didn't like that look any more than I liked his thoughtful tone.

"Interesting," Dad said as he fought and lost to suppress his grin. I cringed.

"Why?" Gran said in almost disinterest.

"Well, remember I told you I was having a coworker over for Easter dinner?" Dad reminded Gran in a wickedly slow voice. I began to squirm under the weight of those words, though my mind hadn't exactly caught on exactly as to why they made me uncomfortable. I had known his coworker was coming for dinner.

"I do," Gran said. I was still focused on the locket, trying to make myself as unobtrusive as possible. I didn't want to know where this was heading because I was certain (at least in the back of my mind) that I wasn't going to like it much. "I've already got the whole menu planned out."

"Well, my co-worker's daughter had a locket that played music," Dad said with wicked glee in his voice. "Only when I asked her about it, today in fact when she came to work with her father, did she no longer have it and seemed reluctant to discuss it." My stomach fell down somewhere around my feet.

"You didn't," I said wearily, almost begging it to not be true. My face was no longer on fire, it was napalmed. No survivors. I was horrified. "You invited the Potters for Easter dinner?"

"Well, this is interesting," Dad laughed slightly. Ok, I love him but sometimes my father is a bastard. I couldn't believe it but heat was radiation off of my face to the degree of certainty I would catch something on fire.

"The locket belongs to the Potter girl?" Gran asked quietly, not because she didn't know but she was covering for me, my weakness of telling her everything and not sharing a bit of information with my dad. It would look less she already knew it was Lily's locket. I growled a few four letter obscenities under my breath and turned back to the locket. I had one less day to get it repaired and I wasn't certain that I could do it.

"So, Scorpius, should I start calling Harry Potter '_brother_'?" Dad asked in a light, teasing manner. I didn't saying anything. I didn't even look up or respond. I felt my flesh be consumed in flames and I continued to work on the locket. In just a few days, Lily would be in my house and I wanted to have it done. My heart began to race. Lily would be here, and she'd be here soon.


	24. Easter

A/N: Continuing.

Disc.: I am only borrowing the characters for pleasure, not profit.

* * *

Easter

With Lily and her family coming for Easter dinner, I felt more of a push to complete the locket by the time they arrived. It was as if in my mind, I drew a line in time. If I could complete it before the line, then Lily and I would eventually be ok. If I couldn't, well, I didn't want to think about it. I just kept bent over the table until my muscles screamed in protest as they began to ache and burn. I continued to push forward. I would not accept anything less than completion.

My mood became a bit touchy come late Saturday night. I was running out of time and I still had a more pieces than places to put them. I was panicked. Whatever my dad or Gran said to me on their way to bed fell on deaf ears. I even ignored the cups of tea that the house elf brought me. My food went stone cold and untouched in my quest to complete the locket. At two in the morning, I sat back. All the pieces were inside where they ought to be. A sense of accomplishment washed over me and I cheered silently, weary. I ran my finger along the open seam of the locket and it sprung open. There was nothing but silence.

"No!" I gasped in surprise. It had never occurred to me that putting it back together wouldn't fix it. There was nothing but silence. "No! No! No! This can not be happening!"

In spite of my frantic whispers at the locket, it lay silent and I swore several four letter words at it. As if the inanimate object would decide that swearing would bring it back to the music and glory, my words were dripping with anger and hate. It couldn't do this to me. I felt the bitter sting of tears burning my eyes, and I fought them. Tears, even angry ones, wouldn't make the locket work. I went over it with a fine toothed comb, for three more hours, I worked on it. Frustration was like wildfire, and it burned and consumed.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I moaned at it. I clenched my fist over it and shook it hard, like an etch-a-sketch that needed a good erasing. "Why?"

I tossed it on the table in frustration and buried my face into my hands. I was so tired and time was up. I could hear the morning larks starting to sing and I knew that I had breached the line between repairing my relationship chances with Lily. I let out a shuddering breath, releasing my control and letting my emotions take over as they pleased. I pulled my hands away from my face and stared at the locket. I couldn't even bring myself to glare at it. It took too much energy to glare. I sighed in defeat and picked up the locket.

"Are you still up?" Gran asked as she entered the room, startling me. I jumped though her voice was barely louder than a whisper. The locket slid from my hand, my finger running over the opening before it thudded to the top of the table. Before I could answer Gran, the room filled with the most beautiful music, the song of the locket. I stared at it in disbelief and scooped it up in my hand, laughing and crying all in the same.

"I fixed it," I gasped between the tears as I hugged my Gran. She looked at me in concern and hugged me back.

"Scorpius, why don't you go up stairs and try to at least get a few hours of sleep before company arrives," Gran said. I grinned sleepily and ran up the stairs, locket in my hand. I latched it around my neck, the weight a firm pressure as I climbed into my bed.

"I fixed it," I breathed as sleep quickly consumed me. I immediately began to dream about Lily, and how much she'd be thrilled when I gave her the locket back, repaired. I dreamed about the kiss that would grow to be so much more. In my dream, I was reaching for the buttons on her shirt when a voice in the land of the waking intruded. I fought it.

"Mr. Malfoy, wake up," a tiny voice said shaking my shoulders. It was the stupid house elf! Didn't he know I was about to undress Lily in my dream? Didn't he know how much I wanted it?

"Go away," I grumbled as he kicked my foot out in the house elf's general direction. I missed completely but the dream became increasingly real for me. I could smell Lily and wanted to help her out of that shirt. A pair of hands touched my shoulders, the skin familiar and enticing.

"You should be nicer to your house elves," Lily whispered in my ear, her hands on his shoulders. I opened my eyes as I grabbed her wrists and flipped her up on the bed. It wasn't something I had planned, just instincts took over. Lucius had been convinced that my magical training was all that mattered but my mother had taken me for self defense lessons when I was little. She told me that some day the magic might not be enough. Grandfather Lucius had laughed at her, saying that magic beat all, but here I was, without my wand, pinning Lily to my bed.

I looked down at her, pinned under my body. My eyes went wide with surprise, first that I had automatically pinned her, then second as I thought about the fact that I was hard and it was pinned against her. That part of me didn't mind too much, but I worried that she knew and it bothered her. Her wrists were pinned by my hands above her head and she was breathing a little harder than normal, whether from fear or some other reason, I didn't know.

"Lily?" I asked uncertainly. The room was pretty dark, though my drapes were drawn tight against the windows causing the darkness. I felt silly for asking but I wasn't sure if maybe my dream had taken some new twist, or if she was really pressed between my body and my bed.

"Good morning to you, too, er, afternoon, really," Lily said. Her breathing was still coming a little hard and I frowned.

"Are you ok?" I asked. She was staring up at me with some expression that I didn't quite understand.

"You kind of startled me," Lily admitted. "I didn't expect to be pinned between your bed and you with my hands restrained above my head like this when I agreed to wake you since your house elf has been trying since we got her two hours ago. It's nearly dinner time."

"What time is it?" I asked. Lily turned her head, laughing.

"Ugh, time for you to go brush your teeth," Lily teased. I groaned, slightly embarrassed and let her up immediately.

"Oh, sorry about the morning breath thing," I said. I climbed off the bed, suddenly aware that I had pinned Lily between me and the bed clad only in my boxer shorts. I turned away from her quickly, so that she wouldn't see my morning condition. "Stay there, I'll be right back."

"Is… is that my locket?" Lily asked. I grinned at her over my shoulder.

"I'll be right back," I said skipping off to my bathroom. I closed the door, leaning against it for a second before I turned on the shower and climbed in, naked. The idea of Lily being just a few steps away, and how easily it would have been to step out naked did nothing to help my condition. I hurried, not wanting Lily to decide to go back downstairs. I think leaving the bathroom and her not being there would have been worse than if I went out there naked and she left. I shaved carefully, not wanting to mar myself, brushed my teeth extra well, just in case Lily and I kissed. The thought caused my heart to pick up the tempo. I jerked my clean boxers and pants on before I put one of the white tank underwear shirts, a wife beater, on and stepped from the bathroom. I stood just outside the bathroom door, blinking at the bright light.

My eyes scanned my room once my vision had normalized. My bed was made, though not to that strict way that the house elves did it, and the previously drawn curtains had all been open, the room spilling with the bright spring light. I had no idea what time it was, but I knew that it had to be much later than morning, possible late afternoon. By the window stood Lily with her back to me, as she looked out over my garden.

I stopped and looked at her for a moment, taking her in. She was wearing a blue dress that went just past her knees, black Mary Jane shoes with white socks that reminded me of a little girl, and her hair was pinned away from her face. She was kneeling on the window seat, her face practically pressed against the window. She glanced over at me, smiling. I took it as her welcoming me closer and my shoes were silent as I crossed the plush carpet of the floor. I pulled my arms through the sleeves of my shirt, rolling them up and ignoring the buttons.

"You have the prettiest garden," Lily told me as she pushed the window open. The air was warm, a gentle breeze ruffling her hair. It sent an almost overwhelming dose of her glorious scent crashing over me, threatening to knock me down. She rested her hands on the window sill, leaning a little out to let the sun warm her face.

"You like it?" I asked coming up behind her.

"Yeah," she said. She leaned a little further out the window and my heart started to panic. I reached for her and ended up resting my hands on her hips, afraid that she'd lose her balance and tumble to her death out my bedroom window.

"You're making me nervous," I admitted before she could ask why I was holding on to her like that.

"Afraid I might fall out the window?" Lily smirked as she looked back at me. She was totally teasing the hell out of me, but it was true. I was terrified that she was going to fall.

"Kind of," I admitted nodding. Lily rolled her eyes at me and pulled back from the open window.

"I'm a witch," Lily said. "You'd think I'd just fly or something."

"You need a broom," I reminded her. She laughed and it caused my heart to spasm. I hadn't heard her laugh, not like that, not directed at me, in ages. I missed it. She turned so that her back was to the window. She was still kneeling on the window seat.

"Very true," Lily said. Her fingers went to the lump under my shirt so un-expectantly that blood rushed eagerly south, to have her fingers against my flesh. My heart was throbbing with a sundry of emotion and desire, and her finger tips burned my skin everywhere she touched pleasurably. "So, did you just get another one to torment me?"

"No," I said in what came out a little breathily voice. It should have bothered me, but it didn't. Instead, I pulled the locket free from her hands under my shirt and let it rest against my shirt. It was then that I realized that my hand was still firmly on her waist. I dropped them almost as if she burned me. "I wouldn't do anything just to torment you. This is yours."

"It can't be," Lily said as I moved to take it off. The chain dangled the locket in a solid pendulum, her eyes following it. I held it out to Lily. She reached forward, her fingers caressing the front of the locket. She didn't move to take it from me. "I saw it after… that night. It was in like a million pieces."

"More like a billion," I said with a grin. She made a face.

"I guess money can fix anything," Lily grumbled. I felt my body stiffen and took a step back from her. I couldn't recall the last time I had heard an unkind thought as that spill from her lips.

"Hey, that's not very nice, Lily Potter," I snapped without meaning to as I clenched the locket in my hand. I couldn't help but be defensive. I was over tired and busted my ass for what? For her to say judgmental things? I think not. "I worked for five days nonstop. I just finished it this morning before dawn."

"I'm sorry," Lily said as she looked up from where she was looking, her eyes meeting mine. I made a face and resisted the urge to cross my arms. I could feel the tension ease out of me.

"You shouldn't just assume that because my family is affluent that we don't know the value of hard work," I chastised lightly.

"Really, it was rude of me," Lily mumbled as her cheeks flashed pink. I couldn't help but grin at her obvious discomfort. I poised the chain in my hands, ready to put it on her.

"Turn around," I said to Lily.

"Going to shove me out the window?" She asked unexpectedly and I laughed, unable to fight it. It was just an unexpected question and I couldn't help it. There was a lot of that going around, my not being able to help myself when Lily was nearby.

"If I was going to do that, I wouldn't need your back to me now would I?" I joked. She stuck her tongue out at me, and for a second, I wanted to touch my own tongue against hers, to slip it between her lips and part the seas. She stood, turning her back to me.

"Does it work?" she asked me as my fingers brushed the skin of her throat. I swept her hair to the side, exposing the back of her neck and put the chain over her head.

"Mhmm," I murmured as I securely clasped the clasp. With her standing there, her neck and skin so close, her scent removing all sense from my head, I was tempted, oh so tempted. I could imagine myself lowering my lips to the side of her neck, kissing and nibbling to her throat until her gasping breath was stolen when I pressed my lips to hers and invaded her mouth. I stepped back half an inch. I was tempted, but one kiss wasn't worth it and I wouldn't push it.

"How does it look?" Lily asked as she turned to look at me. I couldn't meet her face, just glanced at the locket before I put more attention on button up my shirt than was really called for.

"It looks great," I said, not needing to look at her to know it was the truth. I hesitated as I carefully picked up the locket from the front of her dress, sliding my finger along the crease. It spring open and played the song as clear as before. She grinned and threw her arms around my waist, her face pressing up against my chest. I wondered if she could hear the rapid thudding of my pulse, the stir of my blood in close contact.

"Thank you," Lily whispered. I groaned internally, knowing that whispery tone she used when she didn't want to let on that she was crying.

"Please tell me you not crying," I begged. She laughed, the sound was shaky, and she pulled away. She strolled over to my mirror, her fingers on the locket. I watched her carefully, confirming what I had finally put together. Every time I had seen her fiddling with her collar, it was because she missed the locket. Her fingers instinctively sought it out.

"I'm not," she lied as she grinned at me in the reflection and wiped her eyes. She was a terrible liar. "I'd better go back downstairs before someone thinks I've lost _some_ of my _virtues_ to you."

"Good point," I said as I laughed. She left me in the room and I fought the increasing urge to case her down and drag her back to my bed. I could smell her still in my room, so warm and sweet. My chest ached and I shook my head. I was truly doomed if I kept thinking about her.

Lily was sitting between her mother and Gran, sipping tea, when I exited the house into the garden. Lily looked up at me, a smile playing on her lips as I ambled over to where Dad, Harry, James, and Albus were sitting. They were a little more relaxed looking.

"You grace us with your presence," Dad said laughing in a teasing manner.

"_Meh_, I was up late," I said reflectively as I shrugged. I was careful to not make a big deal about it. The last thing I wanted was to go into it with an audience. James would never let me live it down, if we didn't throw punches right there and then.

"He's been working on a little project," Dad explained. I fought and for once won against the heat that always threatened to burn my cheeks. I was terrified that my father would continue, but Merlin bless Albus for changing the subject. I took my seat.

"So, didn't you two not get along in school?" Albus asked curiously. "What changed?" I had obviously walked in on a conversation, and was grateful that Albus Potter would not be swayed. I sipped my water and listened curiously. It had always interested me to know that before the second Wizarding War, Dad and Harry Potter hated each other.

"Well," Harry said looking at my father. "A lot. For one we both grew up."

"I still think it was the war," Dad said. Harry laughed.

"I wasn't going to go for the spectacular reasons," Harry said.

"Yeah, but those are a hell of a lot more interesting than the whole we grew up and matured reasons," Dad said rolling his eyes.

"Plus, once Lily was sorted Slytherin, it was kind of inevitable that we'd at least be cordial," Harry said. "That was the last thing that bridged us."

"Hey, we work together, too," Dad reminded him.

"Yeah, but I try not to think of that place when I'm not there," Harry said groaning. Our fathers laughed but the four of us just rolled our eyes. Adults can be so weird sometimes, and their little joke or whatever it was wasn't funny.

"So, Lily, have you thought more on my offer?" Dad asked after the first course arrived for Easter dinner. Lily choked slightly on the ham. Ginny patted Lily's back. I fought a laugh, not because of Lily choking but because my dad was always so blunt.

"Offer?" Lily replied as she dipped her bite of ham in her potatoes. I caught her eye, grinning. I loved to tease her about it, but I don't think anyone caught on the private joke. She grinned at me back for a flash of a second before she turned her attention back to my father.

"I have investment properties that I check up on in the islands, and I wanted to know if you wanted to come along with us this summer. Scorpius is usually bored to tears," Dad explained. "So, are you in? Two weeks of sun and surf?" I hadn't really heard much about it, past the initial offer because I hadn't really been home. Plus, I didn't want to get my hopes up just to have her say no.

"S-sure, if it's ok with my parents," Lily said as she looked at her father and mother.

"Fine with us," Harry said. Lily smiled.

"Granted, he'll have to do well on his O.W.L.s," Ginny added. Dad laughed. Yeah, damn those stupid O.W.L.S. and their scores.

"I think Hermione is wearing off on you," Dad said to Ginny Potter. She smiled at him slightly, and the adults continued to talk about random boring stuff. We kids mainly stayed silent, neither listening nor participating in the conversation. I watched Lily for a while. She looked at me and made a point of dipping her ham in her potatoes. I grinned and glanced at Albus and James, who were both chewing up food and showing each other. Not to be out done, I did the same and when the parents weren't looking I showed them my chewed up food. James fought his laughter to keep from drawing attention to us. After desert, we abandoned the adults and headed down to the interior set gardens.

"You know, I don't know if I like the idea of you spending that long of time with my sister," James said casually to me as he and I walked next to each other. Lily was a little bit ahead of us, next to Albus, and she laughed at James' comment. I did my best to not stare at her posterior covered by the swishy blue fabric of her dress.

"Please, you'd have to know that it really is the most boring place in the world," I said rolling my eyes. "I have more fun at your place than traipsing all over the Earth with my father, looking in on his business expenses." It was true. I hated these trips, even if it was the reason we lived posh lifestyles.

"Just mind your manners around our baby sister," Albus piped up. James and I laughed.

"Well, you know I'll be respectful," I said truthfully.

"Plus who knows," Lily called from the end of the path. "I may annoy the hell out of him he that he ditches me on the first day and I run off with an island local." I snickered, turning away for a moment. The idea of me ditching her was laughable. James' expression was priceless.

"Yeah," James said raising an eyebrow. "I don't think I like that idea."

"Anyways," Lily laughed as she prodded a statue. She looked up at us walking closer. "Scorpius and I are just friends, right?"

"Right," we three boys said in unison. Lily laughed and ran off to the right out of sight.

"Can't find me!" She challenged playfully as she disappeared around another corner.

"That sounds like a challenge if I ever heard one," James laughed.

"Losers buy the winner drinks at the Hogs Head," I anted. James and I shook on it and we headed off into the garden to find her. I had the upper hand since I knew the mazes and gardens like the back of my hand. I had spent my entire childhood playing in the gardens, learning their secrets. James, though had the upper hand on Lily's habits, so we were fairly evenly matched.

"Damn," I said to James as the two of them approached. "Your mum's going to kill them, isn't she?" Albus had found her and apparently they decided to try and drown each other in the nasty swampy pond. Albus was cheering at his victory while Lily had popped up out of the mud and slime coughing and sputtering. She dove at him and they both went under. We stared at the two of them wrestling around in the pond, mud and scum sticking and clinging to them.

"Yes, probably," James said sighing as he shook his head. "MUM! LILY AND ALBUS ARE FIGHTING!" James and I didn't move towards them, just watched as they dried to drown each other in the mud.

"Oh, for MERLIN'S SAKE!" Ginny cried out as she and the other adults joined us at the pond's edge. "Lily Potter, do not drown your brother."

"He pushed me into the pond!" Lily said as she shoved Albus' head under the water. "Scratch that, he tackled me down the hill into the pond." I laughed at the same time James laughed, both of us trying to cover it up with fake coughs.

"Lily, let him up," Harry said. Lily reluctantly let her older brother surface, sputtering. Dad covered his laughter in a false cough.

"I swear, we can't take you anywhere," Ginny snapped.

"I'm sure we can scrounge up some changes of clothes," Gran said with a cool calmness and I saw her smirk. "Follow me."

"Really, Mrs. Malfoy… er, Narcissa, it's not necessary," Ginny said apologetically. "I can just apparate them home. Merlin knows they don't deserve to remain."

"It's no problem. I can't tell you how many times I'd catch Draco or Scorpius down here, stark naked in the pond catching tad poles," Gran said. Lily busted into laughter at the thought, causing everyone of us to look at her curiously. She shook her head, still laughing. She caught her breath.

"I… just couldn't imagine Scorpius getting… anyways," Lily mumbled, her face red with embarrassment. "Never mind." She was so cute, covered in mud and slime, fire engine red underneath it all.

Lily went into my bathroom at Gran's insistence and my heart began to race as Gran sent one of the house elves up to the attic to retrieve an outfit of mine that I had out grown. My thoughts spun from the silly 'she's going to be wearing my old clothes' to the sexual 'she's going to be naked in my bathroom'. The more I thought about it, the more other thoughts ran through my head, like the fact that Lily was so young, so small. I'd be a monster if I took advantage of it.

"Hope you don't mind wearing boys' clothes," I said as I entered the bathroom holding a stack of clothes. "I tried to go with the most ambiguous of the choices, black tee shirt, blue jeans. Figured you'd have less of an issue with the whole girly garment thing."

"Um, yeah," Lily said as I piled the clothes on the long marble counter. I walked over to the showers and turned them on, turning the various knobs and levers.

"Take your time, enjoy," I mumbled. I pointed to the hamper. "Just dump all the dirty clothes in there and the house elves clean them up."

"Oh, ok," Lily said. She looked at me expectantly and I laughed slightly. God, she looked so young standing in the muddy blue dress, much younger than she was.

"I can't believe you fell in the pond," I said shaking my head as I headed out, closing the door firmly behind me. I went to my bed, Ash rubbing my legs until I picked her up and put her on my lap. I laid back against my bed and let the cat walk up and down me, kneading me as she saw fit. I waited, my eyes closed as I tried and failed to picture Lily undressing and tossing her dirty clothes in my hamper. I couldn't picture her properly naked.

She was three years younger than me, nearly. I felt like a pervert for even thinking that way about her. I felt worse for pinning her to my bed, for giving her hope where hope should not have been. I would have sworn, but the water turned off and I became hyper aware that at that moment, at that very moment, I could have walked through that bathroom door and she would have been standing there, naked. I ignored the pressure in my pants. I kept my eyes mostly closed, focused on petting Ash and tried to keep the thoughts of Lily out of my head. I wanted to kiss her, but at what cost? The door opened quietly and I looked over.

"I thought you drowned in there," I commented lazily as I allowed my fingers to caress Ash's fur. "I was going to give you like three more minutes before I went in after you."

"Yeah?" Lily said. I glanced up to catch her blushing as she sat on the edge of my bed, the farthest from me. She glanced at the wide open bedroom door and I didn't try to play it off. I had left it open for a reason. I wouldn't risk tarnishing her reputation, even in the slightest. I could see the question in her eyes, her eyes trained on the door.

"Yeah," I replied as the cat purred. It was a double edged response, meant to span the spoken and unspoken questions.

"How come you don't bring Ash to school with you anymore?" Lily asked.

"She's old and needs a quiet life to rest," I said simply as my fingers still brushed Ash's soft fur. "Plus with Gran being here alone, it's nice to know that they can keep each other company."

"That's very sweet of you," Lily said as she folded the towel she had been using to dry her hair. I shrugged and pushed myself off the bed. I took the towel from her, heading back to the bathroom. Despite the smells of warm and my soaps, I could still smell the very essence of her being lingering damply in the air. Muscles in my stomach twisted as I tried to ignore them.

"What can I say?" I said grinning as I rejoined her on the bed, keeping my distance. I didn't want to give her the wrong idea. "So, we're you serious when you said you'd run off with a local?"

"You mean on our trip? Only if I annoy the hell out of you," Lily teased. I rolled my eyes at her. I may have disliked the fact that I wanted her so much, but I couldn't imagine her ever doing anything that would send me running, or wanting to send her packing. "I mainly mentioned it to bother and worry James because he acts like I am some child that can't be trusted to make the right decisions for me. He so acts as if I'm too young. Like I can't possibly know what I want out of life, who I'd want to be with."

"Your brother does bring up a really good point," I said quietly. I had thought about it, but not enough to get my mouth to stop running. Inside I was screaming at myself to keep my mouth shut, yet the words continued to spill. "You and I aren't a great idea. Not right now, not yet."

"I never said we were," Lily said frowning. Her fingers toyed with the necklace.

"Oh, don't even think about giving it back," I said firmly as I reached across and stopped Lily's hand from traveling to the clasp. Her fingers felt like heaven under my hands, and I refused to let her give me back that locket. "I gave it to you for Christmas as a friend, and yeah, I blame myself for blurring those lines, but that it my fault, not yours."

"Oh, Merlin," Lily sighed. She looked at my exasperated and defeated. I didn't understand.

"What?" I asked.

"I know what you're doing," Lily said anxiously.

"What am I doing?" I asked uncertainly because I hadn't been aware of doing anything. I mean, I fought my urges to kiss her and to crush her beneath my body. I was behaving myself. If I was doing something, I wasn't aware of it.

"You're about to pull the age card, aren't you," Lily mumbled. "I knew it. You got to thinking about how you'll be sixteen soon, and I won't be fourteen until the end of summer and how you feel that three years is such a big difference."

"Well, it is," I said. Inside I was kicking myself.

"Not really," Lily grumbled.

"Look, we don't have to talk about it," I promised with a forced smile. "I'm content being friends."

"No you're not," Lily said pushing up off the bed and heading to the door. "You're as delusional as the rest of them."

"Lils, wait," I said in a panic. I didn't want her to leave, and suddenly our conversation had gone to shit. I didn't know what I had done. I was being good!

"I don't really feel like it, Scorpius," Lily said shaking her head. "I should have known when you had plenty of opportunity to kiss me on multiple occasions and you didn't take it. Granted, I did just break up with Malvo, _but still_… I would have thought you'd of all people want to scoop me up."

"I do like you, Lily," I promised. I cringed at the almost pathetic tone my voice took on. Lily laughed and forced a pained smile.

"Don't worry about it, Score," Lily said lightly. "You won't always feel the struggle between liking me and my being too young."

"I hope not," I said suddenly, and I watched her walk away from me. I watched her leave and inside I was kicking myself. I didn't even mean any of that, not really. Hell, I had subconsciously been thinking of ways to kiss her all day and to get her alone, yet I found myself acting noble and rather mature about it. I really didn't want to be mature about it, but something inside of me was holding me back. Guilt, maybe, for hurting her last time although she was just as guilty for that hurt.

I tried to make myself fell better because I knew I'd have a chance to talk to her at school on Monday evening when we all floo-ed back, so I forced myself not to stress about it when Lily and her family left. I remained cheerful and light as we all said our good-byes. She hugged me quickly, one of those we're just girlfriends kinds of hug; I would have loved to have held her a bit longer. She hugged me as if I were nothing more than a friend and parted without the hesitation that I sometimes felt on their partings.

"See you at school," I said hopefully. Lily nodded but she didn't look pleased.

"Yeah," Lily said as she parted with her family. She glanced back at me as if she wanted to say something to me, but didn't.  
"Please tell me you didn't screw things up with her," Gran said out of the corner of her mouth as she waved at them.

"What, Gran?" I asked as I turned to look at her.

"That girl is crazy about you," Gran said as she patted my shoulder and led me back into the house.

"She's thirteen," I reminded her. "We're just friends."  
"Those two statements are completely unrelated," Gran said as the two of us sat in the drawing room.

"What's unrelated?" Dad queried as he entered and stoked the small fire.

"Lily Potter's age and Lily Potter being Scorpius' friend," Gran said smirking at Dad, as if they both knew some great secret to life that I had yet to learn. I groaned, knowing that there was some story or lesson I was about to be shared.

"You know, your mother was nearly six years younger than me," Dad said casually. "Lily's what thirteen, fourteen?"

"Thirteen," I mumbled as I tried to scoot down into my chair. I would have been content if the chair had just eaten me. I did NOT want to have this conversation with either of them.

"Don't mumble," Gran chastised as she took a book from her personal house elf. Merlin, I hoped she wasn't going to start reading to me about youthful love. I couldn't stand it, and the very though embarrassed me.

"She's thirteen," I said a little louder and clearer.

"And you're fifteen," Dad reminded me, as if I could forget.

"I'll be sixteen in a bit," I reminded him. Dad grinned and nodded.

"But then she'll be fourteen," Dad said. Merlin, we probably could have done the age thing all night, but thankfully he continued with another thread of discussion, though not a better one. "I'm not saying you have to do anything you don't want to do, or that she doesn't want to do, but I think age is a poor excuse for why you can't be friends."

"Draco, this isn't about friends," Gran reminded my father in her gentle voice.

"I know, but the idea of anything more is unnerving…" Dad mumbled. I was about to say something about Dad mumbling but Gran beat me to it.

"Don't you start mumbling too," Gran said.

"Sorry Mum," Dad said. I snickered and Dad shot me a dirty look.

"What are you reading, Gran?" I asked quickly, effectively changing the subject.

"A book Lily recommended," Gran said holding up the book. "_Day Walkers_. So far, it's very good."

"Isn't that the muggle book Lily was reading?" Dad asked. "You know, that day of the ice skating incident?" I quickly flashed back to the van ride to the pond. She had been reading a book. Was it _Day Walkers_? Yeah, I think it had been.

"Yeah," I said nodding slightly.

"She mentioned it over tea and I sent Niue out to get it for me," Gran said. "She's right, it's quite amusing; a great diversion."

"I've not read them, but James says their kind of girly," I said and Gran laughed. I looked at her, uncertain about what I had said that had been so funny.

"You know, before I became your Gran, and Draco's mum, I was a girl," Gran reminded me, she looked at Dad and I, as if comparing and contrasting us for a moment, then smiled. "Shouldn't you be packing your stuff up for your departure tomorrow afternoon?"

"Yes, yes, of course," I said. I jumped up, eager to get the heck out of there, and effectively left my father and grandmother chatting. I entered my room and looked around. It looked the same as always but it felt different to me. I can't really explain it. It was as if I could feel Lily all around me, here in the room. I could picture her at the window, leaning too far out of it and looking at the ground below. I turned and headed into the bathroom, glancing at the hamper, knowing that her clothes were in there, mingling with mine. I grinned, thinking about our clothes touching intimately, first with them on our bodies, and later in the hamper. Ok, so I might have issues.

She had stood in my bathroom, stood naked in my shower, and yes, she was too young for me to have these thoughts about her, but I did none the less. I headed out of the bathroom, lying across the poorly made bed, knowing she had made it for me instead of the house elf. The imperfection of the duvet placement evident, and I knew that the house elves made the bed military style with exacting perfection. I rested my head on my pillow, staring up at nothing in particular, and thinking. Maybe, just maybe everyone was right. Maybe three years wasn't that big of an age difference.


End file.
